Moreover, they fear, Canada's decision means the God-given sanctity of tepid hetero missionary-position marriage is utterly doomed and our innocent children are sure to become fans of modern dance and maybe even old Barbra Streisand movies, and all of this will undoubtedly result in the introduction of a pair of wacky gay Canadian neighbors on "Everybody Loves Raymond."
Western civilization is sick, and one symptom is that good sex is no longer a natural outgrowth of selfless love, good sex is now a very selfish activity that must be new and improved to be acceptable. It must be gymnastic, sweaty, thunder filled, lightning flashing, fireworks producing and, above all, personally fulfilling as the greatest thing that ever happened to me or I'll go find another partner.
News flash: the thing that makes the missionary position special is that you can look your lover in the eye while sharing the most intimate moment that G-d gave man with her. If that isn't important to you, you don't know what good sex is.
Shalom.