Blah Blah Blog (Dowd alert)

The New York Times ^ | 08/13/03 | Maureen Dowd

[Pokey78]

WASHINGTON

Is the Internet over?

There are troubling signs. AOL Time Warner, a company that started out scorning its Old Media side, is now looking to jettison the letters AOL. Fast Company, a hot magazine that celebrated the successes of dot-com innovators, is now relegated to eulogizing them.

Don't get me started on the Blaster virus sabotaging Microsoft systems, or the cram of spam reminding us that the average American is an impotent, insecure, overweight, tired, depressed loser desperately seeking to refinance.

The most telling sign that the Internet is no longer the cool American frontier? Blogs, which sprang up to sass the establishment, have been overrun by the establishment.

In a lame attempt to be hip, pols are posting soggy, foggy, bloggy musings on the Internet. Inspired by Howard Dean's success in fund-raising and mobilizing on the Web, candidates are crowding into the blogosphere — spewing out canned meanderings in a genre invented by unstructured exhibitionists.

It could be amusing if the pols posted unblushing, unedited diaries of what they were really thinking, as real bloggers do. John Kerry would mutter about that hot-dog Dean stealing his New England base, and Dr. Dean would growl about that wimp Kerry aping all his Internet gimmicks. But no such luck.

Instead, we have Travels with Tom, Tom Daschle's new blog recounting his annual August pilgrimage around South Dakota. Trying to sound uninhibited, he says he has "no schedule and no staff" and promises readers "amazing experiences" with "fascinating people."

On Aug. 7, he revealed, "I visited the Orthopedic Institute in Sioux Falls today and was given an informative tour." The next day, "I continue to be impressed with small business people who struggle to offer their employees health insurance."

Bob Graham dubs himself "the original blogger" because he has filled more than 4,000 color-coded, laconic notebooks over the last 30 years with a running diary of his every move, from ingestion of morning cereal to debarkation from a plane. (A typical Graham entry: "3:20 p.m. — Take bus to hotel.")

His blog doesn't pick up the tempo. He offers the rhyming motto: "Hate the war? Miss your job? Don't just sit there, vote for Bob!" The Aug. 7 Des Moines posting, Another Day in the Heartland, reported, "We have had quite a full day, starting at the state fair where I saw the butter cow and butter hog (which is actually a Harley Davidson). At the pavilion I saw Holstein cows, a breed with which I have a very special relationship."

Dennis Kucinich tries to imbue his blog with a more literary bent, comparing himself to Harry Potter and the Pentagon to Lord Voldemort.

John Kerry has given more grist to critics who label him aloof and insincere by assigning staff members to write his cheesy blog. (It's like trying to prove you're a sportsman by making an aide go fishing for you.)

His spokesman, David Wade, offered this edgy report from Concord, N.H., on Aug. 8: "I'm sitting in the studio at New Hampshire NPR listening to The Exchange — they're asking John Kerry about his life, his service in Vietnam and his fight for veterans when he came home — it's something I forget about, working for him every day, taking for granted the quality of the person leading this campaign." In bold type, the blog breathlessly described a music store stop in Littleton, N.H., "where John Kerry treated press and customers to a couple of songs on the guitar!"

When the Kerry camp started the blog last week, rambunctious Dean supporters flooded the Kerry message boards with taunts. One Dean fan tallied all of Mr. Kerry's missed Senate votes this year.

Dr. Dean doesn't deign to write his blog, either, but at least it's fun. Mathew Gross, the Dean campaign's "head blogger" or "blogmaster" — who got his job by blogging and who now writes most of the Dean virtual entries — calls blogs the new town hall meetings. "They've revolutionized the way campaigns are run," he says. "It creates an equality among everybody. People are hungry for the old-fashioned discussion and debate."

Even former candidates are weighing in. Gary Hart, who began his blog in March, doesn't bother to read other digital diarists. "If you're James Joyce," he said slyly, "you don't read other authors."

Now there's a man with a future in blogging.

[Pokey78]

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From Oxblog:

IMMUTABLE LAWS OF DOWD

1. Ashcroft never deserves credit.

2. Offering constructive solutions to problems, instead of whining endlessly about them, is a sign of weakness.

3. The People Magazine principle: all political phenomena can be explained with reference solely to caricatures of the personalities involved ("Dubya" is stupid; "Poppy" is an aristocrat; Cheney is macho-man; etc.). Any reference to the common good or even to old-fashioned politicking is, like, so passe.

4. It is much better to be cute than coherent.

5. Maureen knows best. Her long years as a columnist (doing basically what your great-aunt Tillie does in the nursing home bull sessions, but getting paid for it) have given her deep insight into foreign relations, politics, welfare, the Constitution, and all other topics. To disagree with Maureen in any way is not only a sign of being wrong, it's a hallmark of pure evil...or at least membership in the NRA, which is pretty much the same thing.

6. It is usually possible and always desirable to name-drop and name-call in the same sentence.

7. The particulars of my consumer-driven, shamefully self-involved life reveal universal truths.

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Explanation of the Dowd/Douglas connection: by Miss Marple- 2/11/03

Ms. Dowd was escorted around New York and DC for many months by one Michael Douglas of Hollywood fame and fortune. She got to go to all the best parties, was photographed for the tabloids, and was picking out a gown to wear at the Oscars. Of course, Michael had become interested in her during Clinton's impeachment, when she had written some very anti-Clinton columns. After a few weeks of the Michael treatment, she began to write anti-Starr, ant-Newt columns, ignoring Clinton.

Then Clinton was acquitted by the Senate. In an amazing coincidence, Michael Douglas dropped Ms. Dowd like a hot potato, and instead picked up a hot tomato, Catherin Zeta-Jones, who subsequently bore him a son and they were married.

Ms. Dowd cannot get over her tragic loss. Her columns are increasingly anti-Bush, in the hope of impressing her lost love, Michael.

In addition, we think she has a secret crush on the President and is trying to get him to pay attention to her. Ha!

[HassanBenSobar]

Ahh, and wouldn't she love to discredit the blogosphere, where she has been cooked to a crisp for her countless errors and distortions...

"Never mind that man behind the (blogo-)curtain!"

May she fry for her treasonous trivia.

[Shermy]

In a lame attempt to be hip

[MightyMouseToSaveThe Day]

Not surprisingly with the Dowd-y one, she has it backwards. Time Warner isn't trying to distance itself from its AOL component; it's the other way around. AOL has asked Time Warner to drop the AOL part of its name because the tarnished stock of Time Warner is depressing AOL's shares!! (I think they're both losers, but the point is that AOl asked TW to drop aol, not the other way around as Dowdy claims. Gosh, this must be a first: Dowd is wrong about something!?!)/sarcasm

[McGavin999]

She really doesn't have a clue, does she?

[PhilDragoo]

insecure, overweight, tired, depressed loser desperately seeking

Oh, that's you, Maureen.

[Rose in RoseBear]

Pingpingping! See, I told you about Bob Graham and his journals! What an odd kick in his getalong!

[Tredge]

I must point out that Ms. Dowd spends almost all of her time in this column scoring off of Democrat candidates. In fact it almost got me thinking how nice it would be if she thought conservatively (stressing almost).

I read these Dowd alerts because I'm always sure to see good pictures of Catherine Zeta Jones after I'm done. It's like eating a TV Dinner. I was brought up in the heartland where we eat the dessert - whether it be apple cobbler, fudge brownie, or whatever - LAST. It was my dear departed mother's philosophy that there should be no dessert until the main course is done, and God help me I try to let her words, kind but firm, be my guide each and every day. So I read the articles for the reward at the end, no matter how unpalatable everything that comes before it is.

So I read this article word for word, chewing dutifully every bite. I ground my way through the first few lines, and was sure it was the same old thing, and already my mind was on the dessert. But then I was surprised - perhaps she was influenced by all the blogs she had to read to research this column, but she took an unexpected turn.

This offering of Dowd's is not like the others. If M. Dowd writes 51 columns in a year that sideswipe the things we believe in, we should be on the alert for the 52nd post, the one column that agrees. That one post is sweeter than almost all of the others written by people who have always agreed with our position. I want to call it the Oasis in the Desert but it isn't quite like that. Forget metaphor - it's like having a schizophrenic child you've loved all your life (but descended into madness when she grew up) say in complete clarity, "I've always been here with you, I'm sorry I'm the way I am." And after that she regresses again (as I'm sure Dowd will in her next column). That one moment, that one clear sentence, makes up for the suffering all the rest of the time.

I'm probably being melodramatic. Let me try in cleaner terms...

She's a liberal with all the side effects. She may also be a harpy. She could be bitter over a failed love affair and descent into late middle age as a single successful woman. No matter. She gets to us because she hits hard, and she hit her own side here, whatever we perceive "her own side" to be. Don't be thankful, don't forget what she's written before - just read for comprehension.

[AnnaZ]

Pingpingping!

[Feiny]

How does this woman have a job as a "journalist". She can barely write a cohesive sentence. This article bored me to tears....I fell asleep half way through.

[EllaMinnow]

"...spewing out canned meanderings in a genre invented by unstructured exhibitionists."

She should know.

[RichInOC]

It could be amusing if the pols posted unblushing, unedited diaries of what they were really thinking, as real bloggers do. John Kerry would mutter about that hot-dog Dean stealing his New England base, and Dr. Dean would growl...

DEAN: HOW ARE YOU GENTLEMEN ! !
DEAN: ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO ME.
CANDIDATES: WHAT YOU SAY ! !
DEAN: YOU ARE ON THE WAY TO DESTRUCTION.
DEAN: YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO SURVIVE MAKE YOUR TIME.
DEAN: HA HA HA HA....

[Bluntpoint]

Michael Douglas on why he dumped Dowd:

http://www.wavsource.com/news/she_pulled.wav

[mhking]

Maureen's jealous - someone finally got the balls to tell her that most bloggers were more talented behind the keyboard than she is.

[Sloth]

The Catherine Zeta-Jones pics are the main reason I click on Dowd threads.

[Shermy]

Yep, she's lame.

I see here a kernel or two of good humor potential. Blogs of politicians, how could that not be funny?

But she attacks "blogs" as a whole. My guess this comes from the establishment media fear of blogs as supplanting them, and providing a forum for "fisking" establishment articles - and Dowd has been so treated many times.

[Wright is right!]

Your link sends me to a page at amazon.com.

Michael

[Bluntpoint]

Turn your Net Nanny off.

[Wright is right!]

"Turn your Net Nanny off."

I don't have Net Nanny or any other warez installed that would do that kind of re-direct. I've got ZoneAlarm as a firewall, but that shouldn't bother anything.

We don't have churldrin, so we'd have no use for a "Net Nanny."

Michael

[Seydlitz]

Actually, you have it backwards, my friend. This particular Freeper has some involvement in the litigation over the AOL-Time Warner merger. AOL was a total fraud, and only Gerald Levin of Time Warner was foolish enough to believe otherwise. Time Warner shareholders lost billions thanks to AOL's cooked accounting books.

You are correct in that the request was formally made by the head of AOL Time Warner's on-line unit. He did so because the scandals of America On-Line were making it hard to do business under such an odious name.