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Keyword: mandatorybarfalert

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  • Hey, Christian Business Owners: The Government Isn’t ‘Forcing’ You To Do Anything

    04/07/2015 7:09:21 AM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 110 replies
    Talking Points Memo ^ | 04/07/2015 | Sally Kohn
    You may have heard that the government is forcing businesses not to discriminate. It isn’t. If you chose to run a business, you have to follow the laws. If you don’t, that’s a choice—and you choose to suffer the consequences. Still, in the wake of the controversy surrounding Indiana’s law, conservatives don’t see it that way. Even potential Republican presidential candidates are getting in on the assertions. Rick Santorum recently said: If you’re a print shop and you are a gay man, should you be forced to print ‘God Hates Fags’ for the Westboro Baptist Church because they hold those...
  • The gun supremacists' folly (barf alert)

    04/28/2014 3:16:55 AM PDT · by rellimpank · 42 replies
    Milwaukee J-S ^ | 28 apr 2014 | E.J. Dionne,Jr
    Have we gone stark raving mad? The question is brought to mind by the new gun law signed last week in Georgia by Gov. Nathan Deal. You might have thought that since the United States couldn't possibly have more permissive firearms laws than it does now, nothing more could be done to coddle the gun lobby and tip the balance of our statutes away from law enforcement. Alas, you would be wrong. The creativity of the National Rifle Association and other organizations devoted to establishing conditions in which every man, woman and child in our nation will have to be...
  • Joan Walsh - 2013: The year in whiteness

    12/30/2013 8:55:19 PM PST · by 2ndDivisionVet · 38 replies
    Salon ^ | December 30, 2013 | Joan Walsh, editor-at-large
    From Phil Robertson to Megyn Kelly, peddling white grievance became a bigger, crazier, more lucrative racket. Maybe it was the very fact of enjoying a wonderful Christmas with my family and friends, against the manufactured backlash to a nonexistent “War on Christmas,” that let me appreciate the perilous mental state of a small but noisy and paranoid swath of white America. Somehow over the holiday it became clear: 2013 was the year white grievance mongering became an uglier and even more lucrative racket. Fox News has been peddling the phony “War on Christmas” for years, of course, but it...
  • Bush’s legacy keeps getting worse [Author has terminal Bush Derangement Syndrome........]

    04/26/2013 6:19:21 AM PDT · by Sub-Driver · 23 replies
    Bush’s legacy keeps getting worse By Eugene Robinson, Published: April 25 In retrospect, George W. Bush’s legacy doesn’t look as bad as it did when he left office. It looks worse. I join the nation in congratulating Bush on the opening of his presidential library in Dallas. Like many people, I find it much easier to honor, respect and even like the man — now that he’s no longer in the White House. But anyone tempted to get sentimental should remember the actual record of the man who called himself The Decider. Begin with the indelible stain that one of...
  • Maureen Dowd: The Oscar for Best Fabrication

    02/17/2013 8:57:24 PM PST · by seanmerc · 30 replies
    New York Times ^ | 16 Feb 2013 | Maureen Dowd
    I SAW “Argo” with Jerry Rafshoon, who was a top aide to President Carter during the Iranian hostage crisis, when six Americans escaped and were given sanctuary for three months by courageous Canadian diplomats. We were watching a scene where a C.I.A. guy can’t get through to Hamilton Jordan, Carter’s chief of staff, to sign off on plane tickets for the escaping hostages, so he pretends to be calling from the school where Jordan’s kids go. “Hamilton wasn’t married then and didn’t have any kids,” Jerry whispered, inflaming my pet peeve about filmmakers who make up facts in stories about...
  • E.J. Dionne: Romney doesn't try to defend his proposals, because he can't

    10/15/2012 7:25:45 AM PDT · by Oldeconomybuyer · 30 replies
    The Sacramento Bee ^ | October 15, 2012 | By E.J. Dionne Jr.
    As he tries to engineer a comeback in this week's presidential debate, President Barack Obama needs to recognize two things. First, when it comes to politics, Mitt Romney treats himself as a product, not a person. Second, Republicans cannot defend their proposals in terms that are acceptable to a majority of voters. Romney, Ryan and the entire right know that their most deeply held belief – the one on which they won't compromise – is rejected by the vast majority of Americans. That's their faith that every problem in the economy and in society can be solved by throwing more...
  • E.J. Dionne: Justice Scalia must resign

    06/27/2012 11:48:03 AM PDT · by SeekAndFind · 109 replies
    Washington (Com)Post ^ | 06/27/2012 | E.J. Dionne
    Justice Antonin Scalia needs to resign from the Supreme Court. He’d have a lot of things to do. He’s a fine public speaker and teacher. He’d be a heck of a columnist and blogger. But he really seems to aspire to being a politician — and that’s the problem. So often, Scalia has chosen to ignore the obligation of a Supreme Court justice to be, and appear to be, impartial. He’s turned “judicial restraint” into an oxymoronic phrase. But what he did this week, when the court announced its decision on the Arizona immigration law, should be the end of...
  • Dionne: Isn't it time to end fecklessness about guns? (Classic gun-grabbing screed)

    04/18/2012 2:34:34 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 34 replies
    The Erie Times-News / The Washington Post ^ | April 18, 2012 | E.J. Dionne
    It's understandable if unfortunate that the controversy surrounding the killing of Trayvon Martin has polarized the country along both racial and ideological lines. But there is one issue that should not have any racial connotations: the urgency of repealing "Stand Your Ground" laws. And leave it to New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg to speak the blunt truth about why these laws are dangerous -- and why the National Rifle Association keeps pushing them anyway. "In reality," Bloomberg said in a speech before the National Press Club last week, "the NRA's leaders weren't interested in public safety. They were interested in...
  • Maureen Dowd Blows Her Cool

    04/14/2012 10:01:54 AM PDT · by Kaslin · 91 replies ^ | April 14, 2012 | Brian Birdnow
    Maureen Dowd is a woman of many talents. She is, of course, a New York Times featured columnist, a Pulitzer Prize winning commentator, and the liberals acknowledged Queen of Snark. Ms. Dowd has also completely blown a gasket, if her column of last week (April 5th) is any indication of her psychological-emotional state. In her column of last week entitled, Men In Black, Maureen employs language and phraseology that her fellow liberals would quickly label “hate speech” if it were uttered by their foes. Ms. Dowd assails the Supreme Court in the most personal and vitriolic terms for their...
  • Hacks dressed in black now guard the Constitution (Moron Dowd barf)

    04/04/2012 6:33:20 PM PDT · by Free ThinkerNY · 32 replies
    The Seattle Times ^ | April 4, 2012 | Maureen Dowd
    WASHINGTON — How dare President Barack Obama brush back the Supreme Court like that? Has this former constitutional law instructor no respect for our venerable system of checks and balances? Nah. And why should he? This court, cosseted behind white marble pillars, out of reach of TV, accountable to no one once they give the last word, is well on its way to becoming one of the most divisive in modern U.S. history. It has squandered even the semi-illusion that it is the unbiased, honest guardian of the Constitution. It is run by hacks dressed up in black robes. All...
  • Schultz Guest Grayson: Gingrich Running Most 'Overtly Racist' Campaign Since George Wallace

    01/25/2012 6:34:23 PM PST · by governsleastgovernsbest · 22 replies · 1+ views
    NewsBusters ^ | Mark Finkelstein
    Go ahead, call it shooting fish in a barrel. As soon as Ed Schultz mentioned at the top of his MSNBC show this evening that Alan Grayson would be a guest, you knew the former Dem congressman from Florida would say something outrageous. Sure enough, the guy who was roundly defeated last time around—but is giving it another go—delivered, claiming that Newt Gingrich is running "the most overtly racist campaign" since George Wallace. Grayson also managed to work in a reference to the Ten Commandment's prohibition of adultery. View the video here.
  • My Man Newt [Maureen Dowd]

    11/30/2011 7:33:04 PM PST · by BunnySlippers · 60 replies · 1+ views
    NYT ^ | 11/29/11 | Maureen Dowd
    In many ways, Newt is the perfect man. He knows how to buy good jewelry. He puts his wife ahead of his campaign. He’s so in touch with his feelings that he would rather close the entire federal government than keep his emotions bottled up. He’s confident enough to include a steamy sex scene in a novel. He understands that Paul Revere was warning about the British. Mitt Romney is a phony with gobs of hair gel. Newt Gingrich is a phony with gobs of historical grandiosity. The 68-year-old has compared himself to Charles de Gaulle. He has noted nonchalantly:...
  • Real homophobes don't Google [barf alert & FR referenced]

    11/14/2011 10:23:46 AM PST · by smokingfrog · 44 replies ^ | 9 Nov 2011 | Mark Morford
    Woe to you, oh modern card-carrying homophobe. For it can't be easy to be you right now, what with all the terrifying changes taking place, all the dramatic sexual upheavals and flagrant displays of "unnatural" love being hurled like exotic sushi in your plain hamburger face these days. Oh, you poor dear. I see you there, glumly sipping your Starbucks gingerbread latte while Googling Swedish fetish porn in between checking the latest news on in your lightly stained Dockers and beat-up Nikes, Cartoon Network blaring in the background, tattered copy of Shooters Monthly on the bedside. I see you...
  • PAUL KRUGMAN: Rise in extremism tied to economy (barf alert)

    05/18/2010 11:14:15 AM PDT · by a fool in paradise · 13 replies · 536+ views
    NY Times via Houston Chronicle ^ | May 17, 2010, 8:22PM | PAUL KRUGMAN's becoming ever more apparent that real power within the GOP rests with the ranting talk-show hosts. ...Suddenly, the takeover of the Republican Party by right-wing extremists has become a story (although many reporters seem determined to pretend that something equivalent is happening to the Democrats. It isn't.)... The right's answer, of course, is that it's about outrage over President Barack Obama's “socialist” policies — like his health care plan, which is, um, more or less identical to the plan Mitt Romney enacted... Many on the left argue... that it's about race, the shock of having a black man in...
  • November doesn't need to be a nightmare for Democrats (delusional Democrat barf)

    01/23/2010 6:19:41 PM PST · by Free ThinkerNY · 19 replies · 704+ views ^ | Jan. 23, 2010 | David Plouffe
    The Democratic Party got a resounding wake-up call from the voters of Massachusetts on Tuesday. But it's long been clear that 2010 would be a challenging election year for our party. With few exceptions, the first off-year election in a new president's term has led to big gains for the minority party -- this was true for Harry Truman, Dwight Eisenhower, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton. After two election cycles in which Democrats won most of the close races and almost all of the big ones, Democrats have much more fragile turf to defend this year than usual. Add to...
  • E-mail furor doesn't alter evidence for climate change

    12/18/2009 9:46:15 AM PST · by neverdem · 72 replies · 2,182+ views
    Washington Post ^ | December 18, 2009 | Michael E. Mann
    I cannot condone some things that colleagues of mine wrote or requested in the e-mails recently stolen from a climate research unit at a British university. But the messages do not undermine the scientific case that human-caused climate change is real. The hacked e-mails have been mined for words and phrases that can be distorted to misrepresent what the scientists were discussing. In a Dec. 9 op-ed, former Alaska governor Sarah Palin argued that "The e-mails reveal that leading climate 'experts' . . . manipulated data to 'hide the decline' in global temperatures." Yet the e-mail she cites was written...
  • Nothing to fear—yet (Fox News is not a news organization)

    10/29/2009 7:33:12 AM PDT · by DCBryan1 · 18 replies · 936+ views
    Nothing to fear—yet Gene Lyons Nobody should be surprised to see the nation’s esteemed celebrity news media align with FOX News against the White House, although even a cynical observer like me found the unanimity mildly shocking. Don’t they remember what journalism was supposed to be? Supposedly, the press regulates its own behavior. In reality, that’s been a joke for two decades. “Claiming the moral authority of a code of professional ethics it idealizes in the abstract but repudiates in practice,” I wrote in 2003, “today’s Washington press corps has grown as decadent and self-protective as any politician or interest...
  • Ellen Goodman: Palin the pretender

    07/09/2009 12:36:42 AM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 51 replies · 2,436+ views
    My guess is that she really doesn't know what she wants, or who she really is. It's probably dangerous to admit to a moment of empathy. I'll either get disqualified from ever becoming being a Supreme Court justice or asked to turn in my press card. But after watching reruns of Gov. Sarah Palin's resignation from the governorship, after hearing every grammatically challenged sentence and inconsistent paragraph dissected by some talk show host, I started to (blush) feel her pain. There was the frozen smile, the vulnerability, the odd grab bag of unfiltered, unedited, unintelligible un-reasons scattered across the lawn....
  • Maureen Dowd: Put Aside Logic (Obama as Spock)

    05/11/2009 3:24:30 PM PDT · by 2ndDivisionVet · 25 replies · 1,358+ views
    The New York Times ^ | May 9, 2009 | Maureen Dowd
    The Final Frontier I dreamed that Spock saved our planet, The Daily Planet of journalism. Instead of swooping in to figure out the dimensionality and logarithms to rescue the world from red matter, as Spock does in J. J. Abrams’s dazzling new “Star Trek,” I imagined Spock rescuing read matter for the world. Newspapers are an “endangered species,” as John Kerry called us in a Senate hearing last week, just as the Vulcans are in the new prequel. I know Barack Spock likes newspapers. An aide told me during the campaign that Mr. Obama would get cranky if he didn’t...
  • DUmmie FUnnies 06-09-08 ("Is Obama an enlightened being?")

    06/09/2008 7:30:15 AM PDT · by PJ-Comix · 105 replies · 375+ views
    DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 9, 2008 | Mark Morford, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix
    <p>Mark Morford: Is Obama an enlightened being?</p> <p>Spiritual wise ones say: This sure ain't no ordinary politician. You buying it?</p> <p>I find I'm having this discussion, this weird little debate, more and more, with colleagues, with readers, with liberals and moderates and miserable, deeply depressed Republicans and spiritually amped persons of all shapes and stripes and I'm having it in particular with those who seem confused, angry, unsure, thoroughly nonplussed, as they all ask me the same thing: What the hell's the big deal about Obama?</p>
  • MORFORD: You and your puny salary

    05/09/2008 8:07:51 AM PDT · by SmithL · 20 replies · 236+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/9/8 | Mark Morford
    You think a $100K salary is a lot? $500K? Please. The truly wealthy scoff at your paltry breadcrumbs. Then it came to pass that I stumbled across this story from Forbes magazine, which is officially called "Forbes" but is actually called "Forbes oh my God we worship ruthless CEOs like shiny meth in the summertime," and among the glittering ads for luxury intergalactic travel and sleek private jets and $50K Rolexes and big phallic yachts and surreal 20-page ad inserts for Abu Dhabi megadevelopments, there was an article about the new home being built in Mumbai right now for Mukesh...
  • MORFORD: Eat this, you fat, sad idiot

    09/19/2007 8:14:22 AM PDT · by SmithL · 11 replies · 115+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/19/7 | Mark Morford
    Who, pray who, is still sucked in by grotesque fast-food ads? Shouldn't there be a law? I admit scattershot naivete. I admit to a strain of blind optimism, a sort of sporadic myopia, a weirdly sanguine tunnel vision that makes me somehow think that we as a species and a culture and as a mad gaggle of individual human souls who are coupled with functioning hunks of semi-rational gray matter, we must, at least occasionally, be learning something, ever-so-slightly advancing our awareness of those things on this planet that want to harm us and sicken us and even kill us,...
  • MORFORD: Oh Right, We're Still At War

    05/16/2007 8:02:07 AM PDT · by SmithL · 1 replies · 95+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/16/7 | Mark Morford
    How horrifying is it when Bush's unwinnable disaster becomes so dreary and forgettable? I think it was Keith Olbermann who said it first, who said yes wow that Virginia Tech shooting rampage was horrible and shocking and brutal and oh my God we lost a lot of really good, honest American kids and Something Should Be Done. And maybe let's start with the wide-eyed gun-rights maniacs and the conservative pseudo-cowboys and those twitchy Second Amendment paranoids who somehow still think that we all must cling to our nasty little Glocks 'cuz gosh, what might happen if our own government turns...
  • MORFORD: The Sad, Quotable Jerry Falwell

    05/18/2007 8:03:14 AM PDT · by SmithL · 6 replies · 268+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/18/7 | Mark Morford
    It's bad form to speak ill of the dead. Good thing this man's own vile words speak for themselves - You can eulogize. You can mourn and ponder and do a lengthy retrospective, a political analysis, a sociocultural examination of a career and a legacy and a rather remarkable life. When remembering the dead, the journalistic options are legion. But in the case of the late Rev. Jerry Falwell, the grandfather of the fundamentalist religious right and the foremost champion of the creation of a brutally homophobic, mysogynistic Christian theocracy in America, perhaps it's better to let the man's most...
  • Candidate Obama, legally blonde? (Mo Do on Barak Hussein Obama)

    02/23/2007 6:57:10 PM PST · by neverdem · 22 replies · 1,136+ views
    NY Times via ^ | 02/15/2007 | Maureen Dowd
    BARACK OBAMA looked as if he needed a smoke and he needed it bad. Everyone knows you're not supposed to make two big changes at once. But Michelle Obama's price for letting her husband run was that he quit. So there he was, trying to meet the deep, inexhaustible needs of both Iowa activists and the global press behemoth on his first swing across the state, while giving up cigarettes. He was a tad testy. Traipsing around desolate stretches of snowy — and extremely white — Iowa to go into living rooms and high school gyms and take questions like...
  • Farewell, Dense Prince (Maureen Dowd Barf)

    12/16/2006 7:43:21 AM PST · by meg88 · 66 replies · 1,887+ views
    NY Times ^ | 12/16/06 | Modo Bird
    The Defiant Ones came striding from the Pentagon yesterday, the troika of warriors marching abreast in their dark suits and power ties.W, Rummy and Dick Cheney were so full of quick draw confidence that they might have been sauntering down the main drag of Deadwood.Far from being run out of town, the defense czar has been on a victory lap in Baghdad, Mosul and Washington. Yesterday's tribute had full military honors, a color guard, a 19 gun salute, and Old Guard performance in Revolutionary War costumes, & John Phillip Souza music. Even Joyce Rumsfeld got a Distinguished Public Service Medal...
  • Good Gracious: It's the Truth! (Dowd Barf)

    12/07/2006 7:17:34 AM PST · by meg88 · 26 replies · 935+ views
    Marin Independent Journal ^ | Article Launched:12/06/2006 10:16:33 PM PST | Maureen Dowd
    Maureen Dowd: Good gracious - It's the truth Staff Report Article Launched:12/06/2006 10:16:33 PM PST FIRST, JUNIOR TOOK over the house with big plans to remodel it and make it the envy of the neighborhood. But then he played with matches and set the house on fire. So now he's frantically trying to stop the flames from torching the whole block. The Bush administration has gone from a breathless plan to change the Middle East to a breathless plan to preserve it, from democracy promotion to conflagration avoidance. That was the cold shower offered Tuesday by Robert Gates, the former...
  • The Drapes of Wrath (Dowd Barf: Bill Clinton Was the First 'Female President')

    11/11/2006 10:15:24 AM PST · by meg88 · 61 replies · 10,146+ views
    NY Times ^ | November 11, 2006 | Modo Bird
    After 9/11, Americans had responded to bellicosity, drawn to the image, as old as the Western frontier myth, of the strong father protecting the home from invaders. The macho poses and tough talk of the cowboy president were undercut when he seemed flaccid in the face of the vicious Katrina. Even former members of the administration conceded they were tired of the muscle-bound style, longing for a more maternal approach to the globe. ?We were exporting our anger and our fear, hatred for what had happened,? said former Deputy SoS Richard Armitage. He said America needed ?to turn another face...
  • MoDo: White House abandons Iraq war slogan

    10/31/2006 7:52:54 AM PST · by presidio9 · 19 replies · 741+ views
    The New York Times ^ | 10/29/06 | Maureen Dowd
    THINGS have become so dire for the Republicans that now even Bush is distancing himself from Bush. The president is cutting and running from the president. In a momentous event at the White House on Monday, Tony Snow made a major announcement about an important new strategy for Iraq. The president will no longer stay the course on the rallying cry "stay the course." A presidency built on message discipline (Message: "Stay the course") is trying to salvage itself with some last-minute un-messaging. Of course, the administration has never really said what "the course" is, so it was never really...
  • Obama’s Project Runway (Dowd Is Back And She Is Doing Better)

    10/21/2006 4:38:12 AM PDT · by shrinkermd · 48 replies · 2,428+ views
    New York Times ^ | 21 October 2006 | Maureen Dowd
    "...How will we ever persuade him to give up his modeling gigs in Men’s Vogue, Marie Claire, Vanity Fair and Washington Life? How can we lure the lanky young senator from Illinois out of the glossy celebrity pages and back to gritty substance, away from Annie Leibovitz’s camera and back to Abraham Lincoln’s tradition? He may not want to come back, now that he has mastered that J.F.K. casual glamour pose in shirt sleeves and tie, suit jacket slung over his shoulder, elegant wife and pretty children accessorizing. The Washington Post’s fashion reporter, Robin Givhan, analyzed the Men’s Vogue spread,...
  • She's Baaack...!! Cindy Sheehan Does Canada

    06/30/2006 8:49:50 AM PDT · by presidio9 · 45 replies · 1,252+ views
    The Post Chronicle ^ | Jun 23, 2006 | Bob Parks
    As I said during my most recent radio spot, "listening to my arguments rarely involves having to have bail money ready." Think about it...." Whether it's gather all-the-facts ignorant students to engage in street protests while their protester-professors are usually curiously absent, liberals use kids to perpetuate their causes, just daring the authorities to do their jobs. If the kids get busted, it's considered a necessary evil, as more kids come along to fill any voids. Thus we now have (again) Cindy Sheehan in her latest quest for attention and relevance -- goading kids who've fully digested the anti-war diatribe...
  • Despite a Daylong Drizzle, a Rainbow of Political Pride Shines at Gay Parade [Hillary! pic]

    06/26/2006 3:56:13 AM PDT · by Pharmboy · 56 replies · 2,240+ views
    NY Times ^ | June 26, 2006 | EMILY VASQUEZ and SEWELL CHAN
    Michelle V. Agins/The New York TimesSenator Hillary Rodham Clinton and supporters marched at the Avenue of the Americas and Greenwich Avenue. In the wake of spandex-clad drag queens, a slew of feather headdresses and a float themed "Carnival in Rio," Jo-Ann Shain and Mary Jo Kennedy did not stand out among the gay and proud parading yesterday afternoon down Fifth Avenue. In contrast to the sequins and go-go boots donned by some marchers at the annual gay pride parade, they wore cotton T-shirts, gray slacks and walking shoes. But along with 45 other couples, Ms. Shain and Ms. Kennedy,...
  • MORFORD: Which Way To The Apocalypse?

    06/09/2006 7:46:33 AM PDT · by SmithL · 8 replies · 474+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 6/9/6 | Mark Morford
    When all the fanatical Christians disappear, will traffic finally improve? Wait, did I miss it? Did it happen three days ago, on 6-6-06, a.k.a. Tea Time with the Beast, a.k.a. the Great Day of Reckoning, a.k.a. the National Day of Slayer, all the world crashing down in a heap of hissing steam and belching smoke and balmy gusty breezes sometime around noon just after lunch but not before rush hour and hitting right around siesta? I might have been napping. Did the Apocalypse finally hit? Did the deep wish of roughly a half-billion zealous believers come to pass and were...
  • Bring on 6$ a Gallon Gas

    05/10/2006 7:56:48 PM PDT · by Tzimisce · 50 replies · 2,161+ views ^ | Mark Morford
    No wait, not six. To hell with that. Make it 10. Ten bucks a gallon, no matter what the going rate for a barrel of light sweet crude. That would so completely, violently, brilliantly do it. Revolutionize the country. Firebomb our pungent stasis. Change everything. Don't you agree? Here's what we could do: Give gas discounts to cab drivers (at least initially) and metro transit systems and low-income folks, those who have to drive their busted-up '78 Honda Civics to their jobs scrubbing restaurant toilets and flipping burgers and vacuuming the residual cocaine from the seat cushions of numb SUV...
  • MORFORD: Christian Virgins Are Overrated

    05/12/2006 5:59:51 AM PDT · by SmithL · 19 replies · 1,740+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/12/6 | Mark Morford
    Think sex and drugs destroy America? Try naive chastity. Oh, and "Purity Balls" There are these things. These unholy events called "Purity Balls" and you should probably fall to your knees right this minute and thank a merciful and lubricious and happily polyamorous God that you do not know what they are and that you have access right this minute to vast quantities of wine to deflect their nasty karmic arrows because, you know, oh my God. But hey, free country. Purity Balls. No, not some sort of newfangled spherical chastity device to be inserted using vacuum tubes and pulleys,...
  • MORFORD: Can You Still Hate Wal-Mart?

    05/24/2006 7:44:47 AM PDT · by SmithL · 26 replies · 1,087+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 5/24/6 | Mark Morford
    It's a shockingly eco-friendly plan from the world's most toxic retailer. Did hell just freeze over? Sometimes you just have to let the possibility breathe. Sometimes you just have to allow that something grand and good and healthy might actually be born from the bowels of the dank and ravenous megacorporate world, like flowers from a dung heap, like vodka from old potatoes, even if it comes right alongside the nastiest, most abusive federal environmental policy you will see in your lifetime. Take Wal-Mart, the most famously offensive, town-destroying, junk-purveying, labor-abusing, sweatshop-supporting, American-job-killing, soul-numbing, seizure-inducing, hope-curdling retailer in the known...
  • MORFORD: Do You Need A $500 Vibrator?

    04/21/2006 10:03:30 AM PDT · by SmithL · 12 replies · 1,010+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 4/21/6 | Mark Morford
    Short answer: Of course you do. Longer answer: Wait, a what? Are you serious? Where? It is a time of great wonder and sporadic hope and hot liquid sighs masquerading as just another day in your life. It is a time of vital physical awakening and innovative technological excellence resulting in unprecedented levels . . .
  • Bush's cinematic war on terror (Insane Liberal alert!)

    02/11/2006 12:24:08 PM PST · by Angus MacGregor · 45 replies · 1,268+ views
    Bush's cinematic war on terror Gene Lyons Why do Republican-oriented pundits spend so much energy lashing out at Hollywood for its sins? Professional jealousy. Partly because so many Americans imagine the world beyond Wal-Mart as a movie set, the Bush administration does its best work in the realm of illusion. I was reminded of this when a Kansas student recently asked President Bush what he, "as a rancher," thought of "Brokeback Mountain." On cue, Cowboy W said he hadn't seen it and would rather discuss "ranching." The TV networks ate it up. Never mind that it was sheer fakery. Bush...
  • MORFORD: To The Drunk Who Smashed My Car Quite a wreck you made, didn't you?

    11/11/2005 9:31:11 AM PST · by BurbankKarl · 25 replies · 983+ views
    SF GATE ^ | 11/11/05 | Miss Morford
    Yes, I know you were drunk. Must've been. Either drunk or on serious meds and/or you just didn't give much of a damn about anything anyway because you're just one of those people, one of those types who comes lurching around the city like a chunk of numbed pain in your big-ass mid-'80s burgundy car with the white top and chrome bumpers -- an old Cadillac? Monte Carlo? -- early last Sunday morning to wreak casual havoc. Is that about right? Do you remember any of it? Here is what I'm guessing: probably not. Let me tell you what happened,...
  • MORFORD: Where Are The Gay Pro Athletes?

    11/02/2005 7:36:20 AM PST · by SmithL · 23 replies · 809+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 11/2/5 | Mark Morford
    No, the WNBA doesn't count. What about the NFL? The NBA? What about the big, macho men?You know they're out there. The gay pro male athletes, grunting and sweating and spitting and running and crashing and hurling, right now, acting all manly and tough and rugged and heroic on the field or on the court. And they're signing autographs and getting themselves all beloved by largely homophobic 'Murkin men and swooning 'Murkin boys and even handfuls of women as they jam the secret of their sexuality way, way down and go on raking in their millions, leading their lives...
  • MORFORD: God Does Not Want 16 Kids

    10/19/2005 7:48:41 AM PDT · by SmithL · 85 replies · 2,225+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/19/5 | Mark Morford
    Arkansas mom gives birth to a whole freakin' baseball team. How deeply should you cringe? Who are you to judge? Who are you to say that the more than slightly creepy 39-year-old woman from Arkansas who just gave birth to her 16th child yes that's right 16 kids and try not to cringe in phantom vaginal pain when you say it, who are you to say Michelle Duggar is not more than a little unhinged and sad and lost? And furthermore, who are you to suggest that her equally troubling husband -- whose name is, of course, Jim Bob...
  • MORFORD: What God Really Told Bush

    10/12/2005 7:56:21 AM PDT · by SmithL · 18 replies · 1,192+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 10/12/5 | Mark Morford
    Apparently, it wasn't just "invade Iraq and Afghanistan in my name." A special report: Scene: White House private residence, night, not long ago. President Bush present in his most favoritest guns 'n' bunnies PJs. Laura asleep, knocked out by a combination of too much Good Housekeeping and excessive hair-spray fumes. Suddenly, a burst of black smoke. A deep, resonant voice speaks: "Psst! George! God here, taking a break from supervising the well-being of eight billion troubled souls along with infinite galaxies of unimaginable vastness to speak with you directly one more time because, well, you're special, aren't you, George? Yes...
  • MORFORD: Love Still Rules San Francisco

    09/30/2005 7:51:22 AM PDT · by SmithL · 6 replies · 679+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/30/5 | Mark Morford
    Leather, techno, sex & war: more only-in-SF juice to make you proud. Take that, uptight neocons. It was the moment when we walked by a jam-packed S.F. City Hall and realized it was open to host a VIP techno dance party, while immediately outside its gilded doors upward of 50,000 revelers wandered and shimmied and flaunted their costumes and drank nasty Red Bull cocktails in the huge Civic Center plaza for the third annual Love Parade, everyone baring flesh and shaking their groove thangs to any one of 200 world-class (well, some of them) DJs spinning their wares on over...
  • MORFORD: Kneel Before The Meteorologist

    09/28/2005 7:53:00 AM PDT · by SmithL · 22 replies · 1,082+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/28/5 | Mark Morford
    At last, one scientist BushCo will definitely -- albeit resentfully -- listen to. Sometimes. So now we know. This is what it takes. This is how far the nation has to crumble and this is how many people have to die and this is how many tens of billions it has to cost and this is how far his dirt-low poll numbers have to fall before Bush will finally come out and say he agrees with one of those godforsaken gul-dang book-learned scientist types. You know the ones. Those informed and well-educated data-crunchers he normally despises like a kid hates...
  • The Storm That Ate The GOP (Morford alert)

    09/14/2005 5:00:05 PM PDT · by Crackingham · 31 replies · 1,454+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/14/05 | Mark Morford
    Can you hear that? That low scraping moan, that painful scream, that compressed hissing wail like the sound of an angry alligator caught in a vise? Why, it's the GOP, and they're screaming, "No, no it can't be, oh my God, please no, this damnable Katrina thing is just an unstoppable PR disaster for us!" After all (they wail), who woulda thought dissing all those poor black people and letting so many of them die in filth and misery in the Superdome while our pampered CEO president enjoyed yet another vacation would cause such an ugly backlash, such harsh criticism...
  • Neigh to Cronies (MoDo)

    09/09/2005 8:23:39 PM PDT · by nj26 · 7 replies · 377+ views
    NY Times ^ | 9/10/05 | MAUREEN DOWD
    I understand that politicians are wont to put cronies and cupcakes on the payroll. I just wish they'd stop putting them on the Homeland Security payroll. Can't they stick their pals who failed at business in the Small Business Administration and their tomatoes over at the Oilseeds and Rice Bureau of the Ag Department? At least Bill Clinton knew not to stash his sweeties in jobs concerned with keeping the nation safe. Gennifer Flowers said that Mr. Clinton got her a $17,500 job in Arkansas in the state unemployment agency, though she was ranked ninth out of 11 applicants tested....
  • MORFORD: George W. Bush Still Rocks!

    09/09/2005 8:05:04 AM PDT · by SmithL · 15 replies · 1,142+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 9/9/5 | Mark Morford
    Stop criticizing! The rich man's CEO president is executing his job requirements perfectly. Everyone is slamming poor Dubya. Everyone is saying, oh my God, he's more inept than we ever imagined, he has no idea what's really going on, he's oblivious and in denialand he pretty much let all those poor black people die in filth and misery, and he basically ignored the massive Katrina disaster for days before finally being pressured into cutting his umpteenth vacation short and actually taking action. This is what they're saying. Kanye West was right, Bush doesn't care about black people, or the poor,...

    08/30/2005 9:40:50 PM PDT · by paulat · 46 replies · 970+ views
    The New York Times ^ | 8/31/05 | By MAUREEN DOWD
    [snip] What Hillary has going for her is exhaustion. Exhaustion kicks in with any party in power for eight years, let alone one that tricked the country into war. And at some point, voters may be too exhausted to resist Hillary's relentless ambition any longer. But by hanging back and trimming her positions, by keeping her powder dry until a more politically advantageous time, she may miss the moment when Americans are looking for someone to emerge from her cowering party to articulate their anger about Iraq or their fear about a Supreme Court that will scale back women's rights...
  • Maureen Dowd: My Private Idaho (Old Maid Dowdie Needs Some Fresh Air!)

    08/24/2005 7:57:00 AM PDT · by gopwinsin04 · 105 replies · 3,097+ views
    NY Slimes ^ | 8/24/05
    W vactationed so hard in Texas he got bushed. He needed a vacation from his vacation.So he headed West yesterday to get away from his Western getaway--and the mushrooming Crawford Woodstock--to spend a couple of days at the Tamarack Resort in the rural Idaho mountians. 'I'm kind of hanging loose as they say,' he told reporters. W. didn't go alone of course. Just as he took his beloved feather pillow on the road duing his 2000 campaign, now he takes his beloved bike.An Air Force One steward tenderly unloaded W.'s $3,000.00 Trek fuel mountain bike when he landed in Boise.I...
  • MORFORD: Ex-Cheerleaders I Never Groped

    08/24/2005 7:43:02 AM PDT · by SmithL · 6 replies · 379+ views
    San Francisco Chronicle ^ | 8/24/5 | Mark Morford
    In which Mark Morford survives his high school reunion, still unmarried and childless. It's like that feeling you get when you smack your head into a brick wall and your skull reverberates and your vision momentarily blurs and you have a painful but somehow still nicely appealing flash of insight into Something Very Important, something you think you should know, something that can only be illuminated via cocktails and bloody prime rib and conversing with old flames. This is the high school reunion. It is the most curious thing. You attend one and you are calmly slammed up against the...