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Posted on 8/20/2003, 7:55:34 PM by Bob J
"California Liberalism: Out Of Fashion?"
by Tom Adkins
In California, everyone owns a black leather jacket. Everyone. Why? Because Californians think it's cool to wear a black leather jacket. And in California, cool means everything. If you aren't cool, nobody talks to you. Your friends stop calling. People sneer at you in line at the 7-11. So everyone wears a black leather jacket.
In California, everyone is liberal. Why? Because Californians think it's cool to be liberal. And if you aren't cool in California, well…it's very, very bad. So everyone is liberal.
The difference is that a black leather jacket, while ostentatious and useless, sets you back a couple hundred bucks. But a liberal government, equally ostentatious and useless, will set you back about 38 billion dollars. Per year.
But that's the price of being cool. Frivolous expenses you must have to maintain your circle of friends. And that is exactly what's happened to California politics.
Californians have a dangerous combination of vanity and fashion slavery. Just like nobody wants to be seen without black leather, no Californian dares show up with a "Bill Simon" lapel button. Bad fashion. Everyone would talk. Except to you. Very bad, indeed!
But for most of America, the Great Liberal Revolution is long over. Unfortunately, Californians are way behind the political fashion curve, afraid to change the style. Who will be the first to break away from being cool? So, they keep giving in further and further to the left-wing extreme. Now, hopelessly ignoring their political tailor, their liberalism wears like an old leisure suit. Liberal style is passé. Yet paralyzed by fashion, Californians can't admit it.
Then will Californians have the brains and guts to admit their political style is dated? Apparently not. Californians are swooning for Arnold Schwarzenegger like he's another guru. He's a "fiscal conservative and a social liberal," which offers Californians the "out" necessary to swallow a "R" next to his ballot. He's a cool liberal who will pay the bills, right? Wrong. Some folks can't get it through their thick skulls that social liberalism and fiscal conservatism cannot coexist. It's like claiming you are a churchgoing liquor-swigging porn star.
Sadly, Californians will discover they can't get a new suit by changing the buttons. Arnold will wear poorly. The problems won't get fixed because liberal ideas always have a price. Sometimes social destruction, sometimes financial destruction, but always a price. California got into this mess by staying at the liberal party long past closing time. Now, they have a fiscal hangover. And they are falling for that old "drink some more and it'll go away" advice. The only way out is to stop swigging all that socialism in the first place.
But that's not where the Governator is heading. With moderate Pete Wilson, former Secretary of State George Schultz, Democratic strategist Bonnie Reece, liberal billionaire Warren Buffet and maybe Rob Lowe, this campaign team looks like an Armani going through a Jackson Pollack car wash. Buffet, who proves capitalism is so amazing even a liberal fool can make a billion dollars, is the chief financial advisor. His first suggestion? Raise real estate taxes. How else will they fund Arnold's multi-billion dollar kiddie programs?
The problem with California is remarkably simple. They tax too much. They spend too much. And they created an immense bureaucracy and miles of red tape to defend the bureaucrats and unions, who have developed finely-honed skills of leeching from California. Will Arnold have the guts and savvy to take them on? Doubtful. His social liberalism can't let him. The price will be paid eventually.
There is only one way to fix a crisis caused by too much liberalism: get conservative fast. But that usually requires hitting rock bottom first. Before they have a shot at changing their ways, Californians will have to wake up in a political gutter, slathered in garbage, sludge and their own retchings,. But look at the bright side. The day that happens, they might toss away their goofy leisure suit politics, and maybe even that tired old black leather jacket. And buy a new suit made from classic, conservative fabric. That would be very cool.
© 2003 Tom Adkins All rights reserved.
LOL
So far, he's 0-for-2. Never start with such sweeping bits of pretentious posturing about unanimity. Neither applies to me. And two-thirds of the state -- like two-thirds of every other state -- is simply staying out of the way of the politicos as best they can, trying to live their lives.
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My leather jacket is brown.
I hear libertarians mixing the two all the time.
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