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Wedded Bliss (Ithaca lesbians travel to Canada for wedding)
©Ithaca Times 2003 ^ | August 27, 2003 | By:M. Tye Wolfe

Posted on 08/27/2003 12:18:23 PM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines

ITHACA--According to Maureen Kelly, the setting in which she recently got married was "slightly cheesy."

She and her partner, Lisa Maurer, tied the knot at the Niagara Fallsview Wedding Chapel atop the Minolta Tower on July 15. But this setting was decidedly better than the notoriously hoaky chapels on the American side of the Niagara River.

"We hopped the border and got a little more class," Kelly says.

By wedding in Canada, the same-sex couple also got a legally recognized marriage.

In the last few years, same-sex couples have made incremental progress in their efforts to get their partnerships legally recognized by governments - and obtain the rights already afforded heterosexual couples. In 2000, Kelly and Maurer went to Vermont after then-Gov. Howard Dean signed a bill allowing civil unions. But recent decisions by high courts in Ontario and British Columbia gave them an opportunity to finally make their relationship official.

"Basically, this sort of an opportunity has not been afforded to people who live in North America before," Maurer says. "These are marriages that are recognized by the entire country of Canada right now and that's an incredible thing. That is something I did not think I would live to see - and I am not that old."

Holland approved same-sex marriages in 2000; Belgium did the same earlier this year.

Normally, Americans who marry in foreign countries can return to the States and have their unions recognized by their home government. But open hostility to same-sex marriages in the United States has put couples such as Kelly and Maurer in legal limbo.

"That's the big fat question mark right now. What does that mean when we come in?" Kelly says. "We just kind of need to make the choice to act 'as if'." From now on, she says, she will check "married" in legal and other documentation. "That's how we slowly chip away at some of the inequity that treats us as separate and not quite equal," she says.

Social conservatives have been outraged and chagrined by the decisions in Canada, as well as a recent decision by the U.S. Supreme Court that declared that anti-sodomy laws were unconstitutional.

Recently, President Bush told the media - without much prompting - that he believes marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman, and that White House lawyers were looking at ways to codify this belief. But Kelly and Maurer - and Senate Minority Leader Tom Daschle - say legislation that blocks same-sex marriages already exists, pointing to the Defense of Marriage Act, which was signed by President Clinton in 1996.

Commentators said Bush was simply looking to shore up his religious conservative base of support. "Unfortunately this becomes not a game of justice and what is right but a game of reelection and appeasing a political party," Kelly says.

Some may ask why same-sex couples want government-sanctioned marriages.

According to Kelly and Maurer, there are 1,049 rights that married couples get at the federal level. Absent a federally recognized marriage, "I couldn't get my partner of 10 years' body," Kelly says. "I don't want special rights; I want the basic same privileges that my peers do based on the fact that they are heterosexual."

Kelly, 32, was asked why she wanted to talk publicly about her marriage. "Lisa and I are both activists at heart," she responds. Kelly feels that, by speaking about her marriage, she can help dismantle societal prejudices against same-sex unions. "The only way that change seems to happen is that people are introduced to people who are human," says Kelly, who works as the director of education and training for Planned Parenthood.

Maurer, 39, is the founding coordinator of the Center for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Education, Outreach and Services at Ithaca College. Maurer was recently awarded the Tompkins County Human Rights Commission's award for her efforts toward securing human rights for gay and lesbian people.

Maurer says she remembers feeling "devastated" when the Supreme Court upheld the sodomy laws in 1986. She believes that the court changed its mind because justices realized later that they knew gay people. "Some of those people have been through clerks, colleagues and family members coming out to them," she says. Maurer says the single biggest predictor of whether someone is accepting of gays is whether they know somebody who is homosexual.

Kelly says her family is Irish Catholic, so she wasn't sure how they would react to her sexual orientation. "When I came out it was really scary. God love them - they all showed up at my wedding and they cried their eyes out [because] it was a ceremony of love and affection," she says. "It was no longer just about the general fears about things that are out there, it was about Maureen and Lisa."


TOPICS: Canada; Culture/Society; Foreign Affairs; Front Page News; News/Current Events; US: New York
KEYWORDS: cityofevil; homosexual; homosexualagenda; ithaca; lesbian; prisoners; samesexmarriage
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To: RonF
Really, fill out the wrong federal form incorrectly, even as an accident, and you're up for a long visit to a low-grade federal housing project.

OTOH, the Feds would lock them up in a building filled with. . .women.

21 posted on 08/27/2003 12:39:41 PM PDT by Salgak (don't mind me: the orbital mind control lasers are making me write this. . .)
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
Canada would save effort checking them through at the border if they just annexed Ithaca. We could send in the 10th Mtn to make it happen.


I liked CORNELL PROFESSOR Cynthia McKinney going North. I just don't think she went far enough.
22 posted on 08/27/2003 12:39:42 PM PDT by .cnI redruM (Nothing Is More Vile Than A Blowhard With Halitosis! - redruM)
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
people are introduced to people who are human," says Kelly

As opposed to people who are...?

23 posted on 08/27/2003 12:40:11 PM PDT by Alouette (The bombing begins in five minutes.)
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To: Redcloak
Here's the blushing bride..

Yikes!

24 posted on 08/27/2003 12:42:25 PM PDT by csvset
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To: Salgak
I think in some cases women become lesbian because they know no man would ever have them. Lesbians obviously aren't as picky on looks. Beats living alone I guess.
25 posted on 08/27/2003 12:42:25 PM PDT by dfwgator
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To: Alouette
I've notice a lot of Ithaca liberals now use "human" as a synonym for "enlightened liberal." Meaning, I guess that conservatives are somehow not human.

Any one else notice the eerie similarity between that tactic and how the Nazis and slave-owners justified their own actions?
26 posted on 08/27/2003 12:42:55 PM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines
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To: TheBigB
Stereotypes.
27 posted on 08/27/2003 12:46:00 PM PDT by IGOTMINE (He needed killin')
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To: IGOTMINE
Chandelier.
28 posted on 08/27/2003 12:47:31 PM PDT by TheBigB (Some say shoot to kill. Others say shoot to maim. I say empty the f'n clip and let God make the call)
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To: Redcloak
Bride?!?!?! It looks like Jay Leno.
29 posted on 08/27/2003 12:47:36 PM PDT by ArrogantBustard
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
I guess I had not noticed that use of "human". Are you aware of the "bright" nomenclature? The idea is that people who buy into the whole secular humanist way of thinking are "brights" and the rest of the people (I suppose) are "not-so-bright".

Orwell had the Left pegged a long time ago. They use language as a weapon, and the words mean anything they want the words to mean.

30 posted on 08/27/2003 12:49:32 PM PDT by ClearCase_guy (France delenda est)
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To: Redcloak

The stunning couple would like to announce, for those who have yet to send a gift, that they are registered at Snap-On Tools.

31 posted on 08/27/2003 12:49:43 PM PDT by PBRSTREETGANG
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
I think you mean STRAP on tools
;-)
32 posted on 08/27/2003 12:50:39 PM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
And, from appearances, they are also registered at the International House of Pancakes.
33 posted on 08/27/2003 12:51:54 PM PDT by TheBigB (Some say shoot to kill. Others say shoot to maim. I say empty the f'n clip and let God make the call)
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To: Redcloak
That's a man, baby!
34 posted on 08/27/2003 12:52:13 PM PDT by jriemer (We are a Republic not a Democracy)
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
How can you STAND to live in Ithaca? It's beautiful scenery up there, but my bp would go so high I would probably stroke out!
35 posted on 08/27/2003 1:14:54 PM PDT by Born Conservative
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To: Born Conservative
All I can say is Thank God for Free Republic.
36 posted on 08/27/2003 1:29:54 PM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines
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To: Behind Liberal Lines
Traveled to Canada to get married but will stay in the US for the divorce (probably?), just like the male gay couple from TX who traveled to VT to get married. After a month, they filed for divorce in TX because getting a divorce in VT would take too long and be more expensive. TX Attorney General said the state doesn't recognize gay unions. So the couple sued. About 8 months later Canada recognizes gay unions followed by SCOTUS ruling knocking down states rights that didn't recognize queer unions. Wonder what the hidden agenda is for these two queers?
37 posted on 08/27/2003 1:49:56 PM PDT by lilylangtree
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To: PBRSTREETGANG
Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that lesbians tend not to be overly esthetically endowed?

Imagine we could take a magic beauty wand, and transform these two into this immediately:

How long would they remain together as woman and wife? A week?

38 posted on 08/27/2003 2:01:26 PM PDT by Plutarch
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To: lilylangtree
It's hardly hidden. They are going to argue that it is discrimination for the U.S., in light of the recent SCt decision, to recognize foreign heterosexual marriages but not foreign gay ones.
39 posted on 08/27/2003 2:02:30 PM PDT by Behind Liberal Lines
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To: Salgak
They're not lesbians; they're dykes.

Lesbians are good-looking; dykes are not.
40 posted on 08/27/2003 2:23:01 PM PDT by You Dirty Rats ((From Der Fatherland, Practicing Being a Free Traitor!))
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