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Thanks for your responses.

I guess the problem was we were told certain things and started down a path, only to have the rug jerked out from under, as it were. If someone had just come out and said hey, this can take months or even years, so we recommend waiting for the RCIA until at least the annulment process is well underway, we would have understood.
It just seems there's been a certain amount of misinformation from the very people we are relying on to guide us. It's not very reassuring to say the least. Add to that the priest's seeming reluctance to offer anything more than the briefest of advice, and you see where we are with this.
I understand it's serious matters, but it isn't complicated if you know what steps to take. I just don't like this feeling that this is all on a "need to know" basis, and someone thinks we don't need to know.
I have filled out the initial papers (which the priest was to look over before we sent them off to tribunal), only for the Deacon to come back and say well, you may only need the short quick form, but then asks about my conversion which I'd already explained...which in fact he said may be the only grounds for annulment I'd need since conversion was a condition of marriage. I can climb any obstacle, I just need to know where they are.

I just don't like this feeling that this is all on a "need to know" basis, and someone thinks we don't need to know.

It's not on a "need to know" basis, and the deacon and priest were completely off base if they left you with that impression.

None of the procedures and processes are secret, and somebody should have told you up front that this was an 18-24 month time frame (for Stickman; your "annulment" can be done in a day.)

If you'd like to learn more about the Faith, why not ask if you can just attend the RCIA anyway? You'll have to go through it again, but at least you'll know more, and can ask more penetrating questions and add some insight for others in the sessions.

I know this is frustrating, but, not many who are in your shoes have the benefit of sharing your frustration with others in a forum like this.

Grace comes into our lives in all kinds of ways. This is one of them.

Your frustration is understandable, and that priest's attitude is compounding the situation.

My advice would be to continue praying, attending Mass, and studying the Faith. Patience and persistence are sorely needed in situations such as yours.

As for the priest, if you are involved in the Church for any length of time, you will come across priests who are lacking in people skills. Many of them are good, holy men who happen to have that particular human flaw. On the other hand, you may come across seemingly caring, compassionate priests who are quite popular, yet are actually evil. The important thing is to not take it personally or allow it to impede your journey in Faith.

Jesus's Church is bigger than the frail humans you may encounter in Her.

Oh, and don't forget to pray for that priest.