Henson's bible tells me so ...
ROFL!
Rev. Anita Cadonau-Huseby (left), owner and creator of christianlesbians.com, and her wife Dana.
Posted on 06/23/2004 7:55:02 AM PDT by maryz
LONDON – The Archbishop of Canterbury has given his personal backing to a new translation of the New Testament in which Christians are told to go out and have more sex.
St. Paul’s condemnations of homosexual sodomy are deleted.
Instead of censuring fornicators, adulterers and “abusers of themselves with mankind,” the new version of his first letter to Corinthians has St. Paul advising Christians not to go without sex for too long in case they get frustrated.
The translation appears to contradict the authorized King James version which, in a passage in I Corinthians, often used to back the celibacy requirement in the Roman Catholic priesthood, quotes St. Paul saying, “It is good for a man not to touch a woman.”
But in the new version, he says, “My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner. Husbands and wives should strive to meet each other’s sexual needs. . . . It’s not good to refuse a partner.”
The new version was translated by John Henson, a member of a network of radical Christians that favors “inclusive language” in the Bible.
His translation also changes the original Greek and Hebrew nomenclature into modern nicknames. St. Peter becomes “Rocky,” Mary Magdalen becomes “Maggie,” Aaron becomes “Ron,” Andronicus becomes “Andy” and Barabbas becomes “Barry.”
In other passages, Henson renders “demon possession” as “mental illness” and “Son of Man,” the phrase used frequently to refer to Jesus, as “the Complete Person.”
Times of London
This is a joke, right?
You won't believe this! . . . or maybe you will!
YIKES!
St. Paul’s condemnations of homosexual sodomy are deleted.Sodomy's good, this I know;
Perhaps the most controversial departure from all other translations is a return to the selection of books which were held in the highest esteem by the early Church in the first two centuries. So, for instance, Revelation is out, the Gospel of Thomas is in.
I see from the review, too, that the Archbishop of Canterbury not only "backs" the translation, but wrote the Foreword:
From the Foreword by Rowan Williams, Archbishop of Canterbury"What would Christianity look like, what would Christian language sound like, if we really tried to screen out the stale, the technical, the unconsciously exclusive words and policies, and to hear for the first time what the Christian Scriptures were saying? John Henson has devoted much of his life to wrestling with this challenge, and has for many people made those scriptures speak as never before-indeed, as for the first time. Patiently and boldly, he has teased out implications, gone back to roots, linguistic and theological, and re-imagined the process in which a genuinely new language was brought to birth by those who had listened to Jesus because they knew they were in a genuinely new world.
John's presentation of the Christian gospel is of extraordinary power simply because it is so close to the prose and poetry of ordinary life. Instead of being taken into a specialised religious frame of reference-as happens with the most conscientious of formal modern translations-and being given a gospel addressed to specialised concerns-as happens with even the most careful of modern "devotional" books-we have here a vehicle for thinking and worshipping that is fully earthed, reconisably about our humanity. I hope that this book will help the secret to be shared, and to spread in epidemic profusion through religious and irreligious alike."
Wasn't there some controversy about this AofC when he got the post? (So hard to keep all the controversies straight nowadays . . .)
Somehow the crowd crying "Give us Barry" just doesn't have the same ring.
Please tell me this isn't for real. Please tell me this is just a bad dream....
>> But in the new version, he says, “My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner.
>>Husbands and wives should strive to meet each other’s sexual needs. . . . <<
An odd way of putting it, but this is a biblical concept. (I Cor 7)
>>It’s not good to refuse a partner.” <<
Husbands and wives are told not to withhold sex from one another, except with consent for short times for fasting and prayer.
But um, not refusing a "partner?" THe use of the word, "Partner" makes this just plain sick, even using "partner" as a euphemism for sex mate, because absent the specific reference to marriage, what does "partner" mean? "Thou shall be date raped?" (Let's not kid ourselves that the use of the word "partner" is used to include gay "sex.")
Thank Tony Blair for this monster.
Before I get reamed out, I made an editting error. This is NOT a biblical concept: " But in the new version, he says, “My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner." In fact, it does plainly and directly contradict Paul's admonition to attempt a celibacy lifestyle.
I meant only this:
>>Husbands and wives should strive to meet each other’s sexual needs. . . . <<
John Henson has the exciting capacity to awaken fresh interest in material that seems familiar. He is never dull, sometimes provocative and occasionally inspirational. I recommend his work to anyone who enjoys an unpredictable reading of Scripture.’ - John Rackley, President of the Baptist Union of Great Britain.
Me neither!
LOL! I realized that was what you probably meant.
The A of C is a lunatic.
As a Roman Catholic it is tempting to say something smart, but I know that this version of the Bible will quickly be praised and adopted by the US Conference of Catholic Bishops. This type of translation will be heard at Mass within the next 10 years.
The Satanic Sodomites have nearly wiped out Christianity. The Church of England is toast, my Church is reeling....the indie born-agains hanging out in their 40-member Bible churches will be no match...and they are next.
A small reminder of the problem with the idea of a state church.
My head's gonna explode. Revelation is out?
"Rocky?"
OMG...
Rowan the fuzzy does it again ping.
Don't forget to thank the Queen, too.
you might wanna rethink that turn of phrase.....
Pio, chill and quit scandalizing the Church. I have monstrously huge issues with the *footnotes* of the Bernadin Bible (A.K.A., the New American), but be fair: Rome has insisted on keeping the masculine English words for gender-neutral Hewbrew words; they're hardly going to start throwing around "Rocky" for Peter or making up stuff. They haven't even put a "Nihil Obstat" on Catholic versions of the The Living Bible or The Way. And if anything, although the Church is way to the left of 1960, it has moved to the right since 1980, and is accelerating.
Compare 1984 with 2004.
Remember the Jesuits acting as Marxist guerillas?
Remember the USCCB-sponsored anti-Reagen "peace" demonstrations?
Remember liberation theology and the Marxist Jesuits?
Remember the daily sermons about the "War on the Poor"?
Remember the moral equivalence issued by the USCCB between Communism and the failure to provide free housing?
Remember the hippy masses, using John Denver as sacred music?
Remember the imminent expectation of women priests or of a Vatican III?
Remember the open revolt against the church's sexual teachings?
I do. And I'm not talking Freepers finding some wierdos in Wisconsin. I remember when this stuff was identical to the common experience of Catholicism.
The Church has at least stopped the slide towards Gemmorah.
Uh-oh... Does that mean something dirty nowadays?
When I was in school, it meant being "called out on the carpet," "read the riot act," "chewed out."
Breathtaking.
The Antichrist is here.
ROFL!
Rev. Anita Cadonau-Huseby (left), owner and creator of christianlesbians.com, and her wife Dana.
=== St. Paul’s condemnations of homosexual sodomy are deleted.
Bibliolators just ain't what they used to be.
You're swinging for the fences today!
Just part of a continuous trend to obscure the word of God.
Expect many more, ever more heretical translations.
Anybody ready for the bodice-ripper bible, with purple prose inserted into all those juicy OT stories? How about a hip-hop comic book bible?
The correct quote is "DOH!"
Thanks....I've never seen the show....it shows..
Inspired by Satan.
A baseball metaphor ... from my dear brother Romulus!!! : )
They all have that look. How do they do it?
Oh -- are you a baseball fan? ;-)
Hebrew has masculine and feminine -- no "gender neutral" or neuter or "common."
Rev. 22:18-19
18For I testify to everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book: If anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; 19and if anyone takes away from the words of the book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.
The Times (London)
June 23, 2004, Wednesday
St Paul urges more copulation for couples in sexed-up Bible
BYLINE: Ruth Gledhill, Religion Correspondent
THE Archbishop of Canterbury, Dr Rowan Williams, has given his personal backing to a new translation of the New Testament in which St Paul's notorious condemnations of gay sex are deleted and Christians are told to go out and have more sex.
Instead of condemning fornicators, adulterers and "abusers of themselves with mankind", the new version of his first letter to Corinth has St Paul advising Christians not to go without sex for too long in case they get "frustrated".
The translation appears to contradict the authorised King James version which, in a passage in I Corinthians vii, often used to back the celibacy requirement in the Roman Catholic priesthood, quotes St Paul saying: "It is good for a man not to touch a woman."
The new version, which Dr Williams says he hopes will spread "in epidemic profusion through religious and irreligious alike", turns St Paul's strictures against fornication on their head.
St Paul's words now are: "Some of you think the best way to cope with sex is for men and women to keep right away from one another.
"I think that is more likely to lead to sexual offences.
"My advice is for everyone to have a regular partner. Husbands and wives should strive to meet each other's sexual needs. They should submit to one another for that purpose. It's not good to refuse a partner."
The translation also changes the original Greek and Hebrew nomenclature into modern nicknames. St Peter becomes "Rocky", Mary Magdalen becomes "Maggie", Aaron becomes "Ron", Andronicus becomes "Andy" and Barabbas becomes "Barry".
In other passages the translator John Henson, a retired Baptist minister, renders "demon possession" as "mental illness" and "Son of Man", the phrase used frequently to refer to Jesus, as "the Complete Person".
Parables become "riddles" and to baptise is now to "dip" in water. Salvation becomes "healing" or "completeness" and Heaven becomes "the world beyond time and space."
Mr Henson is the translation co-ordinator for ONE, a network of radical Christians that was one of the first organisations in Britain to make the case for "inclusive language", in a 1981 pamphlet Bad Language in Church.
In his foreword to the new version of the New Testament, which also includes the non-canonical Gospel of Thomas, Dr Williams describes it as a work of "extraordinary power" because it is "so close to the prose and poetry of
ordinary life". He writes: "Instead of being taken into a specialised religious frame of reference -as happens even with the most conscientious of formal modern translations -and being given a gospel addressed to specialised concerns...
we have here a vehicle for thinking and worshipping that is fully earthed, recognisably about our humanity."
Dr Williams is himself not known for his use of accessible language, and has been criticised recently for his use of obtuse and arcane theological phrases. In his foreword however, he praises Mr Henson's translation for screening out "the stale, the technical, the unconsciously exclusive words and policies".
DIPPING INTO A NEW TRANSLATION
Mark 1:4
Authorised version: "John did baptise in the wilderness, and preach the baptism of repentance for the remission of sins."
New: "John, nicknamed 'The Dipper', was 'The Voice'. He was in the desert, inviting people to be dipped, to show they were determined to change their ways and wanted to be forgiven."
Mark 1:10-11
Authorised version: "And straightway coming up out of the water, he saw the heavens opened, and the Spirit like a dove descending upon him. And there came a voice from the heaven saying, Thou are my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased."
New: As he was climbing up the bank again, the sun shone through a gap in the clouds. At the same time a pigeon flew down and perched on him. Jesus took this as a sign that God's spirit was with him. A voice from overhead
was heard saying, 'That's my boy! You're doing fine!' " Matthew 23:25
Authorised version: "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites!"
New version: "Take a running jump, Holy Joes, humbugs!
Matthew 26:69-70
Authorised version: "Now Peter sat without in the palace: and a damsel came unto him, saying, 'Thou also wast with Jesus of Galilee.' But he denied before them all, saying, I know not what thou sayest".
New: Meanwhile Rocky was still sitting in the courtyard. A woman came up to him and said: "Haven't I seen you with Jesus, the hero from Galilee?" Rocky shook his head and said: "I don't know what the hell you're talking about!"
London Times article, complete with excerpts from the new 'translation' posted as #40 in this thread.
This seems like something from the Onion. This *has* to be satire... "Rocky"? "Maggie"?
Unless he was tricked into writing the foreward without reading this trashy so-called Bible, it seems that the Archibishop of Canterbury may have sold out to the dark side - and I don't mean The Simpsons.
As many have already pointed out, this is so extreme as to be a caricature of itself.
In other words, it lacks Satan's customary subtlety.
The 20th century was supposed to be Satan's. It's over. I suspect Satan may be lashing out in desperation as he feels his power waning.
Interesting you mention Satan...because this 'Bible' doesn't. Jesus isn't tempted by Satan in this heresy. The temptation thoughts just pop into His head. Here's an excerpt:
"Jesus felt he needed to spend some time in the desert to be clear in his mind which direction his life should take. (2) He went without food for about six weeks. By then he was near to starvation. (3) The thought came to him, "If I am God's Chosen One, all I need to do is to order these stones to become bread." Then he remembered some words from the old books, "People cannot live just on bread. They need God's words as well." (5) Then he had another idea. He saw in his mind's eye the temple in Jerusalem. (6) "Perhaps if I were to jump off the highest point I could prove I come from God? It should work like the song,
"God has friends who only wait
To lift you when you fall;
Soft your feet will touch the ground
Without a scratch at all."
(7) But then Jesus thought again of some other words from the old books, "You must not push God too far." (8) Then his mind formed another picture. This time he seemed to be looking down from a very high mountain on all the countries of the world. (9) Jesus thought, "All this could easily be mine. All I have to do is to be cunning and gain the support of the right people." Jesus quickly dismissed these ideas. He thought "These are the ways of evil. The old books tell us the only one we should try to please is God.
(11) Then Jesus felt at peace. Some of God's helpers arrived to look after him. "
There's no Satan and no angels and guess what else. Jesus goes around preaching about the New World Order. Doesn't that explain everything about this 'Bible'.
"(17) It was then Jesus started to say to people, "Turn your backs on wrongdoing. The New World is on its way!"
The laughable excerpts are from:
http://one.gn.apc.org/Translation.htm#Matthew
Forgot to also mention the female-gender Holy Spirit at Jesus' baptism took the form of a pigeon. Good thing it didn't poop on Him in this version.
" 16) After Jesus had been dipped in the river and was climbing up the bank, there was a sudden gap in the clouds and he experienced the coming of God's Spirit. She was like a pigeon flying down and perching on him. A voice from overhead was heard to say, "This is the one I love and I'm delighted with him."
I don't know whether to laugh or rend my garments or what.
This is just unbelievable.
It's also some of the worst writing I've ever seen. This stuff should be entered in the Bullwer-Lytton contest, it's grand-prize material.
You have to see this.
Someone made an acute comment on another site that it was the Monty Python version of the Bible.
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