Posted on 08/16/2005 1:48:10 PM PDT by NYer
Having married in 1985 when both were medical students, Ann and Michael Moell had their life together planned out.
Once they established medical practices and had a big house with a sprawling back yard, they would begin to have children. Until then, Ann would take the birth-control pill.
Although both had grown up in large Catholic families in Ohio, neither was well versed or much interested in the Church’s teaching on birth regulation.
“While we were in medical school and residency, we didn’t think we had time for a child,” Ann says. “We had the American dream in mind, not just for ourselves but for the children we would have.”
Their plans began to unravel four years into the marriage, when Ann stopped taking the pill because of persistent headaches.
“Here we were, both studying medicine, and neither of us knew anything about the pill and its side effects,” she recalls. “It just isn’t a topic in medical school because the pill is assumed to be a good thing.”
They used periodic abstinence, condoms and other barrier methods but, within a year Ann became pregnant. They welcomed the child into their lives, yet continued to contracept.
After their third child arrived, Ann says, “That was it. We were still young, with three children and growing medical practices. We thought we had to do something foolproof that would keep us from having more children.”
They discussed the possibility of a vasectomy for Michael.
“We thought it would be the best thing for our family,” Michael explains.
Something happened, though, in the Moells’ pursuit of the American dream. Ann began to pray. The couple had begun attending Mass again with the birth and baptism of their first child, but they were “just doing the Catholic thing,” Michael says. “We didn’t know anything about contraception being sinful or that Jesus is present in the Eucharist. We were missing so much.”
“To actually ask God to give us an answer was something new,” Ann admits. “I was praying at Mass, ‘God, show us what to do about this issue.’ A month later, I was pregnant. It was God’s answer. It was so immediate, so direct, and I was elated. It changed our whole attitude about who was in charge of our lives and our marriage.”
They began using natural family planning, and have welcomed two more children into their lives.
But God was not finished with them yet. Ann was a family-practice physician who prescribed the pill. Michael was a pediatrician who was prescribing the pill for young girls. Someone gave them the videotape “Contraception: Why Not?” by Janet Smith. “It changed the whole direction of our practices,” Ann says. “We started looking into the side effects of the pill and I knew I had to stop prescribing.”
Now Dr. Ann Moell is a stay-at-home mother who volunteers as a prenatal-care physician at a pro-life pregnancy center in Dayton, Ohio. Michael left a pediatric partnership to open Holy Family Pediatrics, in the same building as the pregnancy center. About half his patients are pregnant teens referred by his wife. They recommend abstinence before marriage and NFP in marriage to their young patients. Many Catholic parents travel long distances to bring their children for routine care to Holy Family Pediatrics.
“This has been a huge spiritual journey as well as a growth and learning experience in proper health care,” says Ann.
“It was a huge financial leap and leap of faith, to give up the partnership and open my own medical practice,” Michael adds. “Four months after I opened the door, our fourth child was born. I was questioning God the whole way. But it’s worked out better than I could have dreamed.”
Conversion is a word Penny and John Harrison use often to describe their experience with birth control. They were married in 1983 in Penny’s Protestant church; a Catholic priest witnessed the ceremony for John, who was raised in a Catholic family.
They used various forms of contraception for the first 10 years of marriage and had two children “pre-conversion,” as John describes it.
A Catholic Marriage Encounter weekend opened Penny’s heart to the Church, and, when she decided to become a Catholic, all the assumptions of their lives were uprooted. While she was going through a parish RCIA program in their hometown of Kansas City, Mo., John began looking at his own faith and asking questions. He had no problems with the sacraments or the Real Presence of Jesus in the Eucharist, but his vague knowledge of the Church’s teaching on contraception nagged at him.
When he and Penny asked a priest about the issue, “we got some confusing and unspecific answers,” John recalls. “We ultimately were told to ‘follow our conscience.’ Unfortunately, that’s the answer too many Catholic couples get today, and they’re not being told the full beauty of the truth.”
Penny entered the Church at the Easter Vigil in 1993 and shortly thereafter she and her husband went on a 10th-anniversary vacation without their two children.
“We were both very uncomfortable using contraception on that trip,” John said. “We came back and just stopped using contraception of any kind, and prayed and hoped for another child.”
Key to their decision was hearing a talk by Catholic evangelist Scott Hahn, a former Protestant minister, and reading Rome Sweet Home, in which Hahn and his wife, Kimberly, defend the Church’s teaching on contraception.
“We date our deeper conversion to the heart of the Church primarily from the fervor we took from listening to Scott Hahn’s talks,” John says.
Since their conversion, the Harrisons have had three more children, including twins in 1999.
“I come from a Protestant background where it is considered irresponsible not to practice contraception, so I’ve come a long way,” Penny says. “The problem was that when I was preparing to enter the Church, we knew what Catholics were supposed to believe but we couldn’t find any Catholics who actually lived the teaching on contraception.”
As teachers with the Couple to Couple League, which promotes NFP, John and Penny are seeing “more and more couples open to the gift of life,” she says. “I tell them that, in the Nicene Creed, we call the Holy Spirit ‘Lord and Giver of Life.’ If we take that title seriously, we cannot shut the Holy Spirit out of our marriages.”
John says he tells couples who are not particularly religious that contraception is “disrespectful to your wife’s body. You expect a woman to take these hormones that make her body think she’s pregnant just so she can be available to you sexually all the time. And it goes the other way too. Your wife expects you to put on a special device. That’s not very respectful of the man, either.”
“Love means giving your whole self to your spouse,” adds Penny. “And that’s the great gift of NFP.”
I gotta tell ya though, this whole bit about PUBLICLY speculating about the intent of others - ESPECIALLY in PRIVATE MATTERS is the antithesis of Tradition.
I see that Chris Ferrara has been cited in re this. Good grief...
T'Heck is Traditonal speculating about the sexual practices of your Christian brothers and sisters.
The Church Teaches. As adults, we are expected to follow His Church Teachings. Period (pun intended).
I'll stop posting on this thread once I make it known I think folks ought to keep their noses out of other peoples most intimate acts.
Just for fun, here is the original FR thread re Greg Popcak and the NFP propaganda corps that caused a lot of consternation at various anti-trad blog spots:
Dear bornacatholic,
LOL. Well, that's pretty much my own take on things. The less I know about other folks' sex life, the happier I am. ;-)
Other than to acknowledge the rightness of the Church teachings, and the easiness of obedience through the employment of NFP (and the acknowledgement that NFP methodologies can also aid in promoting conception, as well), I'm delighted to say that I know just about nothing else about the sex lives of my Catholic homeschooling friends.
I wish that our friends who contracept would be as discrete.
TMI!!
sitetest
Thank you. Very interesting reading. It's good to see people with medical backgrounds embracing NFP. Where I am, there is a large Catholic population and a lot of scoffing at NFP by people known to me. Some with the idea that science trumps all. Thanks for the link, too. I've got some reading to do!
Dear Maximilian,
LOL!!
Gee, I'd forgotten all the details of this stuff!!
It was HORRID!!
But, in fairness, I'll repeat that in private correspondence, the gentleman did make explicitly clear that although he failed to condemn the practice (bad enough), he didn't endorse it.
Anyway, I've pretty much discounted the gentleman's writings since then. LOL.
But it's clear to me that even among the "professional NFPers," the Kool-Aid drinking isn't typical. I have a friend who is a professional speaker on all things pro-life, including the extreme desirableness of NFP. We were discussing the gentleman, and my friend endorsed him strongly. I expressed my view that the gentleman is an iffy source of things Catholic, and told him about this whole "brother-sister charting" business (let me go wash my hands after having typed that, blech).
Well, the look of horror on his face was just about complete. For a good fifteen or twenty seconds, he made every effort to find a tactical point into a defense of the gentleman. Finally, he gave up. It was just too much. He just couldn't bring himself to any other conclusion for himself other than, "Yech!" He changed the subject. LOL!
This was truly one of the weirder discussions in which I'd ever been involved at FR.
LOL! Thanks for the reminders.
sitetest
However, it is overused and is often applied in circumstances where it is uncalled for.
On the whole it is better to see moral means injudiciously applied than immoral means freely used.
No offense, but this is the third time I have been pinged to this thread and since I know my experience will be poo-pooed by both pro and con NFPers, I don't see where my word would add much to the thread. (for the record I am a 4 year user of NFP, with two of my three pregnancies achieved using it, and hopefully more to come whenever God sends 'em)
On that we can wholeheartedly agree.
But it's clear to me that even among the "professional NFPers," the Kool-Aid drinking isn't typical.
Let me admit once again that I deliberately chose Popcak as an extreme example, which may not be fair. But personally I find Christopher West to be much more objectionable on the whole, and just as popular on the NFP lecture circuit. Unlike Popcak, he is really serious about his "Naked without Shame" business.
At least he was a couple years back, the last time I checked. Since then I've done my best to put out of my mind all thoughts of neo-Catholic craziness, and focus more on my own interior life which has been gravely lacking. Once I just gave up on the whole enterprise, I could stop thinking about whatever was the latest nonsense, and focus on the reality of the Catholic saints of all time.
Dear Okies love Dubya 2,
I can understand why those who are against NFP might discount your experiences, but why would those who are for NFP do that?
Thanks,
sitetest
I double-posted my first ping by accident. I'm sorry if you feel inundated. I would think that your real-life NFP experience would contribute a lot to the thread.
What you describe is some kind of personal theology. Since you do not give any details, I cannot respond to it, just like I don't usually respond to personal theologies that many Protestants, in good faith and conscience, fashion for themselves. I can only explain what the Catholic theology is, and describe NFP accurately.
silly laws that discourage the creation of children [in your next post]
... is not, by far an accurate description of NFP. NFP does not discourage pregnancies.
It was weird. I think I was still nursing Elen, which throws things off, but still, there wasn't a date that even came close.
Dear Maximilian,
"Let me admit once again that I deliberately chose Popcak as an extreme example, which may not be fair."
Well, without betraying promises of confidence to demonstrate my assertion, I'll say that I believe Mr. Popcak regretted even the rather tepid language he originally used, that was quoted in the first threads on this topic.
"Christopher West"
I am, I suppose, blessedly unaware of this person. I intend to remain so blest.
sitetest
I had told a friend of mine I was considering NFP again. She said, "I tried that. Of course, I now have six children." My problem is it take anywhere from 15 to 18 months after baby to get a cycle. Then, I'll get two. Next thing I know, another baby is on the way. Ever since the last baby I freak out if I gain any wait or feel sick. I had my husband run out in May for a pg test. He was still laughing about it to his sister a week later. You know how the package says results may take up to two minutes? I sat there and stared at it for about two minutes just to make sure. I just knew there was supposed to be a second line. Do they come any other way? LOL!
My best friend back in Oklahoma has seven children (six boys!). The youngest was born before the oldest turned 10. She said when her sister-in-law got married, one of her sons said they were looking forward to seeing their new cousins. The sil said, "We're not having any children right away," and the boy said, "Well, it take nine months for the baby to be born, and then in a year, you'll have another, and then the next year ...".
Six boys in nine years - I feel like such a wimp in comparison!
It has been posted here that lust makes sex sinful in God's eyes and that abstaining from sex in marriage is beneficial spiritually.
As far as NFP and women's enjoyment of sex, I was referring to the fact that women are more "receptive" during their fertile times, exactly when one abstains in NFP. If other methods of sexual pleasure during that time are acceptable, then that negates that issue.
Blessings to you from God and awe to you from me! I had one c-section (bikini line) and it was terrible. I think the fact that I had been on bed rest for three months and carried twins to term must have made it worse. I couldn't put on jeans for months!
My VBAC was much easier. Though the strain on my family was worse. I was againt on bed rest, had to hire a sitter for my twins which cut out my heart, since I chose to be home with them, hubby had to do all the chores after working 10 hour days.
Three healthy happy boys. I have been abundantly blessed. (And can I mention the twins again? If I kept going back to the well I would have had a litter the next time!) My husband put his foot down. We dodged the bullet twice. No more.
Thank you for reminding us!
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