Posted on 01/29/2006 11:03:53 AM PST by stm
Four novice nuns were about to take their vows. Dressed in their white gowns, they came into the chapel with the Mother Superior, and were about to undergo the ceremony to marry them to Jesus, making them "Brides of Christ."
Just as the ceremony was about to begin, four Hassidic Jews with yarmulkes, long sideburns and long beards came in and sat in the front row.
The Mother Superior said to them, "I am honored that you would want to share this experience with us, but do you mind if I ask you why you came?"
One of the Jews replied, "Family of the groom"
ROTFL.....
Humor ping!
(snort!)
Good one - very Jewish.
Here's my all time favorite Jewish story.
Bernie decides to become an aeronautical engineer. He goes to the best schools, studies hard and finally graduates. Soon he gains a reputation as the finest aeronautical engineer in all the land and starts his own company.
His company is such a hit that the President of the United States calls Bernie into his office. "Bernie," says the president, "we want to commission your company to build an advanced jet fighter for the United States Air Force. Go out and design the best jet fighter ever made."
Bernie is tremendously excited. The entire resources of his company go into building the most advanced jet fighter in history. But at the first test flight, disaster strikes: The wings can't take the strain and they break clean off of the fuselage! Bernie's company redesigns the jet, but again the wings break off. They try a third time, but the same thing happens.
Beside himself with worry, Bernie goes to the synagogue to pray. The rabbi sees Bernie and asks what's the matter. Bernie pours his heart out to the rabbi.
After hearing the problem, the rabbi put his arm on Bernie's shoulder and says, "I can solve your problem. Just drill a row of holes directly above and below where the wing meets the fuselage. If you do this I guarantee the wings won't fall off."
Bernie just smiles and thanks the rabbi for his simple advice. But the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes he has nothing to lose. So, Bernie does exactly as the rabbi said. On the next design of the jet, they drill a row of holes directly above and below where the wings meet the fuselage. And the test flight goes perfectly! The wings don't fall off!
Brimming with joy, Bernie goes to the synagogue to tell the rabbi that his advice worked.
"Naturally," says the rabbi.
"But Rabbi, how did you know that drilling the holes would prevent the wings from falling off?"
"Bernie," the rabbi says, "I'm an old man. I've celebrated Passover many, many times. And in all those years, not once - not once! - has the matzah ever broken along the perforation."
"Bernie," the rabbi says, "I'm an old man. I've celebrated Passover many, many times. And in all those years, not once - not once! - has the matzah ever broken along the perforation."
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Excellent! We are a Jewish household that believes Jesus is the Messiah and we celebrate the Passover according to a Messianic haggadah. The rabbi is absolutely correct.
Thank you - as long as "Bernie" in the story is not Bernie Schwartz of Loral, who sold our missile technology to North Korea, at the behest of x42i. That Bernie has got some 'splainin' to do with his Creator when the time comes.
The Cox Report claimed it was China. Did Bernie Schwartz of Loral based in New York and now very rich by establishing the Satelite business, GPS, etc,
also sell those missile documents to North Korea? (wife
of engineer from Martin Marietta).
And what, pray, does this have to do with this thread?
And what, pray, does this have to do with this thread?
Bernie Schwarz of Loral was involved in transferring
missile documents to China, NOT North Korea and I wanted
to point this out the author of the joke about Bernie. If you are not jewish, possible you don't understand. Sorry.
I'm not Jewish either, but husband was from Brooklyn and every Bernie Schwarz I ever knew was Jewish.
Did you get the joke about reason rabbis were at the wedding? Jeses was a Rabbi!! (just in case you didn't know)
You're right, the topic is 4 Nuns (Humor). Guess you wanted
Nun Jokes, not jewish jokes. Sorry!!
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