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http://www.carrollnewsonline.com/index.php?id=303&highlight=gay

Faculty Forum: Ordination Of Gay Priests (A Satire)

Written by Prof. Sheila McGinn on February 10, 2006

SATIRE

The Vatican recently reaffirmed and clarified the policy of refusing ordination to men with "deeply seated homosexual tendencies." Unless they can show that they have gone without presenting these tendencies for the three years during their seminary training, gay men would not be ordained. Thank God we finally are seeing a return to traditional moral values. But Rome has stopped too soon. There is yet another grave moral threat that is even more insidious: left-handedness.

For years, we have stood silently by while individuals with deeply-seated left-handed tendencies take over the church and the world. Everywhere we turn, we are subjected to left-handed culture: there are left-handed desks in our classrooms, left-handed scissors and ladles. We can hardly go anywhere for meals without lefthanders grabbing the first seats at the table, or knocking into our elbows when we try to eat. Even the main doors to our campus buildings open to the left, favoring "lefties" over decent, right-handed people.

The ubiquity of this problem makes it seem as if a putative "left-handed orientation" is equally as moral as right-handed behavior. But this only reveals the utter depravity of contemporary culture. Nature itself shows that left-handedness is aberrant. Ninety percent of people are right-handed and have no trouble resisting the temptation to use their left hands for social behaviors like eating and writing.

Traditional cultures all over the world recognize that the left hand should only be used for unclean activities (like toileting), and they rigorously enforce this restriction. But "modern" societies have become lax in this regard. Just as with other moral issues, they would rather be "politically correct" than uphold traditional family values. We must reverse this pattern before it is too late.

It is no accident that the Latin word for "left hand" is "sinistra." From ancient times, Christians have affirmed that Jesus sits "at the right hand of the Father," not the left. The true "Sign of the Cross" can only be made with the right hand. The same goes for other types of blessings. When the Gospel of Matthew speaks of the Last Judgment, the Lord Jesus separates the just from the unjust by putting the sinners on his left, and then consigning them to eternal punishment.

Such is the destiny of those who persist in acting out this left-handedness, and all those who support a culture of left-handedness. We must make certain there are no left-handed priests to tempt good Catholics to succumb to such a fate. We must stop ordaining people with deeply-seated left-handed tendencies—unless they can demonstrate that they have refrained from using their left hands for the previous three years.

Spiritual directors should challenge those priest candidates who have been living left-handed lives to repent and return to the right-handed fold. How can priests teach true morality if they themselves are living in sin? God’s mercy is great, and God will forgive those who convert to right-handedness. Even those who may have some residual temptation to left-handedness should be assured that this in itself is no sin; it is left-handed behavior that is sinful. Pastors must remind their flocks that God loves the sinner, but hates the sin.

They might even consider starting support groups for parents whose children are having "handedness" issues. Appropriate pastoral care is critically important to ensure that those who repudiate their left-handed ways are assisted in staying on the straight path. But the priests who are preaching this message and offering such pastoral care must themselves live model, right-handed lives. So, for the love of God, we must stop ordaining "lefties."

1 posted on 05/17/2006 5:52:47 AM PDT by Diago
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To: Diago
http://catholic-mom.blogspot.com/2006/05/oh-it-is-one-of-those-kinds-of.html

Oh! It is one of those kinds of Catholic Universities

Last week my daughter received a brochure for John Carroll University in the mail. I really didn’t know much about the school so I didn’t pay attention to it. My daughter is at that stage in her high school career where our mailbox is cluttered with all kinds of “fan mail” asking her to consider one college or another. My husband sure noticed it. He picked up the brochure from the kitchen counter and exclaimed, “You would want your daughter to go to this school?” Taking a closer look at the brochure, I realized their cover girl student was dressed in low-slung jeans, midriff baring top, and striking a sexy pose. No, I don’t think I want my daughter there. The brochure went straight into the trash.

Today, I read Dom’s blog, with its comments about John Carroll University.

Finally, they also want to know what he will do about John Carroll University, which according to the Cardinal Newman Society, refers students to a pro-abortion counseling center, which sanctioned a performance of the “Queer Monologues,” and whose Gay/Straight Alliance supports all kinds of extremist gay activism in direct defiance of Catholic teaching.

Now I know. That provocative brochure cover was no accident. This is another one of those school’s whose idea of being a Catholic university differs substantially from my own.

2 posted on 05/17/2006 5:53:40 AM PDT by Diago ("Upon hearing about such things, I confess that I'm tempted to look for my shotgun and baseball bat")
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To: Diago
A colleague informed me a little while ago that the American Psychological Association has labeled unethical any attempt by its counselors to counsel a gay/lesbian person in an attempt to have them go straight. OK, I would have a problem if counseling was being used to force people to adopt a particular way of living--I don't think the government should have that type of power.

BUT THE APA HAS TOLD ITS COUNSELORS THAT IT WOULD BE UNETHICAL TO DO SO, EVEN IF THE CLIENT WANTS TO DO SO OF HIS OR HER OWN FREE WILL. That reveals the authoritarian, anti-culture bias of the elites who belong to these organizations.

McVey
5 posted on 05/17/2006 6:12:08 AM PDT by mcvey (Fight on. Do not give up. Ally with those you must. Defeat those you can. And fight on whatever.)
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To: Coleus; NYer; topher; Mike Fieschko; bornacatholic; Pyro7480; narses; DBeers; wagglebee; ...

I imagine like the VM, the Queer Monologues will soon be appearing at a Catholic college near you.


6 posted on 05/17/2006 6:16:02 AM PDT by Diago ("Upon hearing about such things, I confess that I'm tempted to look for my shotgun and baseball bat")
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To: Diago
"It’s greatest purpose is educational in promoting an awareness of the gay community and culture."

Yeah, like we aren't "aware" of the gay community. They aren't really hard to miss. You can find them in town parks across the USA sodomizing each other, teaching their filth to school children across the nation, demanding the right of marriage, demanding all people accept their deviant sexual proclivities. As if their desire to fornicate with people of the same sex is something the rest of us should embrace as just perfectly acceptable.

I say go back in to your stinking closets. I'm sick of the deviancy being shoved in our faces.
7 posted on 05/17/2006 7:35:52 AM PDT by Sweetjustusnow (Mr. President and Representatives, do your duty to uphold our laws or you are all gone.)
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To: DBeers

Very disturbing. List food.


12 posted on 05/17/2006 12:06:50 PM PDT by little jeremiah
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To: Diago

I'd like to see a counterprotest which performs the last monologue of Walker Percy's Lancelot in front of the theater. If one of these dramatic catastrophes shows up at the local Jesuit school, I just might do that.


13 posted on 05/17/2006 3:00:48 PM PDT by Dumb_Ox (http://kevinjjones.blogspot.com)
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To: Diago; 2ndMostConservativeBrdMember; afraidfortherepublic; Alas; al_c; american colleen; annalex; ..

Father Edward Glynn eglynn@jcu.edu 216-397-4281

Sr. Mary Ann Flannery phone (216) 397-4240 fax (216) 397-1759 email at mflannery@jcu.edu

Bishop Pilla (800) 869-6525 (216) 696-6525 Ext. 2030 info@dioceseofcleveland.org

Alumni relations: tshannon@jcu.edu

University mission and identity: hgray@jcu.edu

http://www.jcu.edu/admindeans.htm


15 posted on 05/17/2006 6:29:51 PM PDT by Coleus (Abortion and Euthanasia, Don't Democrats just kill ya!)
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To: Diago; Coleus
ECOMMUNICATION. NOW.
17 posted on 05/17/2006 6:44:47 PM PDT by cpforlife.org (A Catholic Respect Life Curriculum is available at KnightsForLife.org)
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To: Diago

A brief biography of the university's new president is here:

http://www.jcu.edu/inauguration/niehoff.htm

Wouldn't you know that he's a liberal Jesuit from the University of San Francisco.

The Jesuits have really gone over to the dark side, with a few honorable exceptions.


19 posted on 05/17/2006 7:23:39 PM PDT by Cicero (Marcus Tullius)
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