Posted on 07/27/2006 9:52:13 AM PDT by Gamecock
Thurman Billings of Madison, Wisconsin, was recovering in a local hospital after trying to read The Purpose Driven Life to a burglar who had broken into his home. “I was inspired by what Ashley Smith did in Atlanta,” Billings said, “but when I told the guy that God made him for a purpose, he just kinda smiled and said, ‘yeah, my purpose is to beat you unconscious and steal your plasma TV.’ Who knew he was a Stoic fatalist?”
Despite his injuries and substantial property loss, Billings still credits The Purpose Driven Life with giving the intruder some food for thought. Explained Billings, “I’m pretty sure he got a bad paper cut when I used the book to deflect some of his punches.”
In light of Mr. Billings’ misfortune, Zondervan issued a statement through their spokesman Lawrence Murphy, who cautioned the public not to attempt to subdue criminals with Warren’s book alone. “While we appreciate CNN and Larry King for helping us milk this Atlanta hostage story for all its worth,” Murphy announced, “we think the public needs to be reminded that Rick’s book isn’t the only resource that can offer the insight to change the life of the most hardened criminal. That’s why we hope consumers can wait a couple months until we publish our next bestsellers The Purpose Driven Hostage by Ashley Smith and The Purpose Driven Life Sentence by Brian Nichols.”
When reminded that Zondervan also publishes Bibles, Murphy answered, “Oh, yeah… that could work, too.”
You just gotta admire a man who knows his purpose in life.
FYI Ping
Book 'im, Dano...
There was a time the Bible was the book of choice for God's Word...
"There was a time the Bible was the book of choice for God's Word..."
Yup. But that was before Pope Warren came around.
I'll settle for a Smith & Wesson.
A: Sure! The popular "40 Days of Purpose"® discipleship effort originated with Saddleback Church® in Lake Forest, California. The program leads participants through forty daily studies to help them discover God's will® for their lives. The 40® Days of Purpose® campaign is based on the popular book, The Purpose®-Driven Life® by Rick Warren®, pastor of Saddleback® Church®. That book, a sequel to Warren's® earlier best-seller, The Purpose®-Driven® Church®, examines the gospel® message at its most fundamental level, bringing participants® closer to Jesus® and to their life's purpose®. Indeed, Warren's® entire line of Purpose®-Driven® products® are used globally, even by churches® not affiliated with Saddleback®. Warren's® website® puts it best: "The 40® Days® of Purpose® campaign helps Christians® new and old find their purpose® in life®, for the glory of God®." Enjoy your journey® through the 40® Days® of Purpose® campaign®!
LOL! Nothing like a little satire to spice things up! :-)
I would have read to him from my personal Purpose Driven Sig!
The media/lapdogs have been called off the Warren/Osteen assault [/s]--wonder if that because T. D. Jakes' book is front and center at Wallyworld and the Bishop is an untouchable????
What a clear explanation!
Thanks
LOL! I prefer the Purpose Driven Springfield, but to each his own.
What was that audio going around the internet a few months ago, about the three little old ladies beating a guy up with their Bibles?
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