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This is a transcript from a meeting between Mormon church historians and some rather intelligent "disaffected Swedish LDS Saints." Once you get past the greetings and enter the question and answer phase, it basically transforms into a bloodbath for the official "church historians." Quite embarrassing and breathtaking for the LDS. One of the interesting things that came out from this exchange was, unlike most LDS, the Mormon defenders from the LDS History department admitted that Joseph Smith was guilty of polyandry. (Marrying women still married to righteous Mormon men.) Their response was not a response, but basically saying that "times...

Devout Catholics Have Better Sex, Study Says Group presents data showing those who go to church weekly have most frequent, enjoyable sex By Elizabeth Flock July 17, 2013Devout, married Catholics have the best sex of any demographic group, the Family Research Council said at an event Wednesday, pointing to a collection of studies from the last several decades.The socially conservative Christian group relied heavily on statistics from the University of Chicago's last National Health and Social Life Survey, conducted in 1992, which found the most enjoyable and most frequent sex occurring among married people, those who attended church weekly –...

Episcopal Church gays and lesbians are weighing a resolution to be put forward at the next General Convention making it illegal for straight white males to be admitted to the priesthood. LA Bishop Mary Glasspool, an avowed lesbian and one of many lesbians and gays supporting the "no white males resolution", crafted her resolution after hearing a straight white male preaching a sermon condemning homosexual behavior last month. "I was shocked, stunned, blown away and mortified. I have never heard such homophobia coming from a pulpit. That was my moment to say enough is enough. "This comes down to a...

Cincinnati, OH––Catholic book publisher and distributer Franciscan Media announced today that their new non-confrontational translation of the Bible will be released sometime this September. Franciscan Media executive Roger Hammond told the press this week that he hopes the new translation helps to appease the minds of critics that have long called the Bible violent and judgmental. “It took close to a decade to complete this ambitious translation, and we’re confident it’ll help people better understand the all-encompassing compassion contained within the scriptures. Hammond goes on to explain one of the most riveting scenes in the New Testament where Jesus, after having overturned the...

My dear Wormwood, The collective heads of the Hades High Council is positively spinning with all the news of these foolish earthlings in their desire to find peace, harmony, love and "why can't we all get along" interfaith notions. Their compromises over pansexual behavior have to be one of the single greatest triumphs of the 21st Century. Our Father had to be dragged away from a round of bishop bashing just to hear the good news. Now that both the Archbishops of Canterbury and York have succumbed to the notion of civil partnerships while condemning gay marriage is of course...

Washington, DC––Members of the pro-life movement have denounced House Democratic leader Nancy Pelosi after remarks that she, as a Catholic, viewed the protection of the sacrifice of virgins during Black Masses as sacred ground. “As a practicing and respectful Catholic, this is sacred ground to me when we talk about this,” Pelosi said in a statement last week, going on to say that the subject of sacrificing the life of a worthy virgin pleasing to the Dark Lord as deeply personal to priests and priestesses performing the sacred ritual. Leading Catholics were quick to denounce Pelosi’s statements, including Thomas Peters of Catholicvote.org who called...

Many American Christians were shocked on Friday morning as they turned on their radios. The popular radio station known as "K-Love" had suddenly switched from their familiar format of contemporary Christian music (CCM) and praise and worship music to a cappella unaccompanied psalms, with recordings taken from various congregations of the Free Church of Scotland. "I was expecting Chris Tomlin when I loaded up the kids for school this morning." Said Kathy Valen, mother of four. "Instead I got a jarring rendition of Psalm 109:10, 'Let his children be continually vagabonds, and beg: let them seek their bread also out...

Washington, DC–A spokesman for the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops announced today that beginning tomorrow on the Feast of the Ascension of the Lord, every holyday of obligation listed on the Liturgical Calender, including Sundays, would from here on be deferred to Easter. The announcement came as welcomed news to many Catholics who found the near-impossible obligations imposed on them by their bishops simply too difficult to fulfil. Spokesman for the USCCB Sister Maxine Howard told the press this morning that the removal of nearly every obligatory holyday was a long time coming. “This will most certainly come as a relief to many Catholics who were falling into sin because of unfeasible Church requirements.”...

ROME–Executives from CBS confirmed Wednesday that Chief Executive Officer of The One, Holy, Catholic, and Apostolic Church Pope Francis would be appearing in this season’s finale of the hit television show Undercover Boss. The finale, slated to appear in late May, will feature the Pontiff taking on an alias and fictional backstory as he navigates his way through different parts of the Vatican in an attempt to investigate the inner workings of the Curia. Series Creator and Producer Stephen Lambert told Eye of the Tiber that it was one of the most difficult episodes he’s ever worked on. “Usually it’s the CEO of 1-800-FLOWERS or something, so it’s typically a lot easier...

http://www.taylormarshall.com/2013/04/baptism-by-beer-13th-century-practice.html Imagine being a 13th century Norwegian parent who had to bring her baby back to the church for another baptism. Your friends ask, "Why are you having the baby baptized again?" You answer, "Well, the first time our little baby Olaf was baptized with beer. The Pope said it was no good. Apparently baptism by beer is invalid." This really did happen!

Spokane, Washington–Expressing sadness for the lack of attention from parishioners during Sunday Masses, Gonzaga University priest Fr. John Conti has recently instituted an all new ”Text-Message-Only Mass.” The Gonzaga graduate who just celebrated his 15th anniversary of priesthood told reporters that the idea came to him as he sat listening to the deacon read the epistle. “I looked out and saw all these college kids reading texts messages on their phones,” Conti said. ”That’s when I knew the Church needed to catch up or risk being left behind, so to speak. So I figured, heck, if they’re already on their...

Vatican City, Apr 18, 2013 / 01:02 pm (CNA/EWTN News).- Pope Francis, who has quickly become known for his austere style, will continue using his simple black shoes and has called his shoemaker from his hometown of Buenos Aires, Argentina to repair them. For 40 years, 81 year-old Carlos Samaria has provided shoes from his store on the outskirts of the Argentine capital for Pope Francis, who was known before his election to the papacy as Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio. “Hello Samaria, it’s Bergoglio,� the phone conversation began. “But who is this?� the shoemaker responded with surprise.  “Samaria, it's Francis, the...

Rectum? It Darn Near Killed Him! A man in China's southeastern Guangdong province admitted himself to a local hospital after he reportedly got a live eel stuck inside him. Artist Rendition Not gonna say why or how, let's say it wasn't an accident.  The report does not indicate whether it was consensual or if the eel was electric.�� 2 �� Gates of Hell Prevail? So the gates of hell have prevailed all these years. Scientists have discovered the legendary gates of hell in Turkey. When they find the actual gates of Hell, I am left with two questions. Why would...

San Diego, CA–It was officially announced today that after 25 years, the largest lay-run Catholic apostolate for evangelization and apologetics in the United States Catholic Answers is closing its doors for good this May. The decision to shut down the apostolate was revealed on a live broadcast of The World Over with Raymond Arroyo last week when, during the break, Catholic Answers Founder and President Karl Keating was caught on a hot mic saying, “Honestly, though, I’m kinda over it. I mean, how many times during Lent do I have to be asked whether frog legs are considered meat?” 63-year-old...

Salem, OR––Friends of Christendom College freshman Ben Tate reported this week that he “hasn’t shut up with the whole Latin thing since returning for spring break.” The 19-year-old undergrad had just recently returned from Front Royal, Virginia for break when friends began to notice there was something different about him. “Well, we knew there was something wrong with him the moment we picked him up from the airport,” longtime friend Roger McNerney told Eye of the Tiber. “When we asked how things were going, he just sat back, took a deep breath and said, “‘Deus bonum est, my friends…Deus…bonum…est.’” McNerney...

When our Lord says turn the other cheek, He speaks of a spiritual strategy to humble the self and then perhaps, to win other souls to Him. Not all the proud are shamed by humility and it seems pretty clear that those who smote the One who offered them salvation did not turn their hearts to him when He turned His cheek to them. Saint John Cantius won the hearts of some bandits when he called them back to take some money they had overlooked, but that is an instance rare enough to have become the lore of hagiography. Sane...

Father Lombardi would keep his cool even if he had to announce the second coming, says Francis Phillips, the excellent columnist and blogger for the Catholic Herald. Her article got me thinking mischievously about what would happen if the second coming were scheduled. First of all the Vatican Bollettino would announce several days in a row an "Avviso di Conferenza Stampa" (Notice of Press Conference). Two high-ranking prelates and a layman would be slated to speak. Given the importance of the occasion, we might expect Cardinal Burke of the Sacred Penitentiary and Archbishop Muller of the CDF, but it could...

FULL TITLE: No wriggle room: Kentucky snake preacher has five reptiles confiscated after illegally attempting to transport them through Tennessee A snake-handling Kentucky preacher has been forced to leave five venomous serpents in Tennessee after he was caught trying to move them through the state. Jamie Coots pleaded guilty to illegally having poisonous snakes that were confiscated after a traffic stop in Knox County, Tennessee, on Jan. 31. Prosecutors agreed to drop charges of transporting the snakes and wildlife officials agreed to give back the boxes Coots was using to carry the snakes from Alabama to his Full Gospel Tabernacle...

..if you say a word enough, over and over again, it loses its meaning. It even begins to sound a little different. Jesus morphs into Cheesus – the es getting steadily elongated. Those who talk about Cheesus do so with a creepy sort of chummyiness. This is what evangelicals call "a personal relationship", by which they mean that Cheesus has become their boyfriend or best mate. ..Once again, the evangelicals are in the ascendency in the Church of England. Rowan Williams never spoke of Cheesus. He had way too much gravitas. Which was why so many non-Christians respected him. ..Which...

Follow the link for the YouTube video of the jovial Cardinal Dolan.

Half of Freeperdom seems to have been caught up in the speculation that Pope Benedict XVI's successor would be Peter the Roman, the final pope before the end of the world. But the gospel plainly said that you shall not know the day nor the hour. How can end-of-the-world prophecies be true AND the gospel be true? Simple: the end-of-the-world prophecies must be fulfilled in secret. But how? Simple: Pope Benedict XVI is still the pope! Sure, other popes have resigned, but they quickly died afterward. Benedict hasn't even left the Vatican! Think about it: Pope Francis won't even wear...

Jerusalem, AD 33. Pope Peter, the new occupant of the Chair of St Peter, has been severely criticised both by traditional and liberal commentators following his taking office two weeks ago. Pope Peter - a new era for the church? Since the departure of Jesus, last seen mysteriously disappearing into a cloud, Pope Peter is now the leader of several hundred Catholics worldwide, all of whom are waiting to see in which direction he will take the Church. Traditionalist bloggers, led by Roar at Galilee, have already criticised Pope Peter on the following grounds: 1. He has abandoned the tradition...

ENGLAND–The Most Reverend Justin Welby was formally enthroned earlier today as the Anglican Church’s 105th Archbishop of Canterbury. The ceremony took place in the 900-year-old Canterbury Cathedral in southern England, where Welby told those in attendance that he hoped to usher the Anglican community toward a more “Christ-liberated courage” in regards to acceptance of all lifestyles. Dressed in a cope, stole, and ornate, golden mitre, Welby symbolically struck the cathedral’s west door three times with his staff to formally request admittance into the cathedral. During the enthronement address, the archbishop challenged opponents of gay marriage to find exactly where in the Bible it said, “a man can’t marry another...

Life & Leisure Credit: Heavy.com Disapproving Joe Biden: 5 Memes from Pope Francis’ Inaugural Mass by SPL Staff on Mar 19, 2013 • 3:10 pm 1 Comment Listers, on the Solemnity of St. Joseph 2013 His Holiness Pope Francis celebrated his inauguration to the Petrine Ministry. In his expected style, Pope Francis charmed the crowd by stopping the popemobile to kiss a baby and bless a handicapped man. His Holiness’ homily spoke of the poor and weakest amongst us to the delegations from over 130 countries and hundreds of thousands of people. Everyone described their experience of the papal inauguration...

Pope Francis has been officially inaugurated as the 266th Pope. Yay us! Yay the Catholic Church!His papal motto is “Miserando Atque Eligendo”, which, according to every other Catholic who can translate Latin, can be interpreted in any number of ways. I can’t translate it, so I rely on an expert – in this case, Fr Z, who translated it thus: “By showing compassion and by choosing”.As Fr. Z put it: A good motto for a reformer.I think it’s an awesome motto, and one that provides us with plenty to meditate on.But it wasn’t Pope Francis’ first choice. The Vatican Bureau...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RHXaYxfg1As&feature=youtu.be While recording for an upcoming album with De Montfort Music, the Dominican Sisters of Mary Mother of the Eucharist, received news that rocked the world. "White Smoke!" Spirit Juice Studios, filming for their EPK, was there to capture the excitement. Dominican Sisters of Mary http://www.sistersofmary.org

WASHINGTON (CAP) - American Catholics this week, while generally happy with the newly elected Pope Francis, expressed disappointment that the new head of the Catholic Church insisted on espousing such Catholic views. A new study out of the Pew Research Center said that while 74 percent of American Catholics approve of Archbishop Jorge Mario Bergoglio's appointment as pontiff, almost 60 percent wished he held different views on abortion, premarital sex, contraception and same-sex marriage. "Most respondents questioned why the pope has to be so darn Catholic, to use a phrase that came up over and over again," said Pew spokesman...

Clever work from the folks over at Lutheran Satire. Despite its title, it's not anti-Saint Patrick. Watch till the end.

Video at link.

A little humor........

I can't believe I wrote a rap lyric, and it might just be the nerdiest rap lyric ever, but you gotta admit, the rhymes are pretty good: Get up in the morning, time to break my fast, but I'm wondering how long with the conclave will last. Turn on the TV as I eat my pamplemousse, Waitin' to see if the cardinal has shouted "Habemus." Anchor comes on and right at once he goes chatting with the papal nuncios. Straight to morning mass after the curial liaisons, just in time for the kyrie eleisions. Father's pretty sure the pope'll be...

“The only question that remains is what name he shall take.”VATICAN CITY–The Italian Newspaper La Rupubblica is reporting today that a member of the Vatican Curia confirmed to them that, barring a shocking upset, the former head of the Los Angeles Diocese Cardinal Roger Mahony has all but locked up his spot as the Catholic Church’s 266th Bishop of Rome. “An anonymous member of the Curia has revealed to us that the gay lobby working within the Vatican is now lobbying for Cardinal Mahony to succeed Benedict. They believe he is best suited for the job,” a reporter for La Repubblica, Luigi Rossi, told reporters. “When we asked the Curia member how...

This animated video of a US red shoulder hawk & Northwestern rough legged hawk and there cry, brook fish, farm pig, Galapagos tortoise and bullfrogs singing the chorus to the hymn, "Revive Us Again", are to inspire faith in Jesus our Lord & His view.

The latest from Lutheran Satire. I think all critics(both Protestant and Roman Catholic alike) of theological liberalism can appreciate this one.

"Homosexuality is incompatible with the priestly vocation. Otherwise, celibacy itself would lose its meaning as a renunciation. It would be extremely dangerous if celibacy became a sort of pretext for bringing people into the priesthood who don't want to get married anyway," the pope said. The pope cited a 2005 Vatican document that drew a sharp line against priestly ordination of homosexuals. He said the document emphasized that homosexual candidates cannot become priests because their sexual orientation interferes with "the proper sense of paternity" that belongs to the priesthood. The pope said it was important to select priestly candidates very...

Of all the possible advice I could give to a new Pontiff, perhaps the most important would be on the subject of name selection. I wouldn't presume to tell the new Pope what name to pick, but I feel very qualified to tell him which names not to pick. All of the names below are previous names of Popes that should not be repeated. Let's just say they would send the wrong message or offer too many opportunities to detractors.Hilarius Picking this name is just asking for trouble. Trust me, Holy Father, it will be very difficult for you to...

Day six's list of cardinal electors is as follows: PIACENZA Mauro [English, Italian]POLETTO Severino [English, Italian] POLICARPO José da CRUZ [English, Italian] PULJIĆ Vinko [English, Italian] RA� Béchara Boutros, O.M.M.  [English, Italian]RAVASI Gianfranco [English, Italian]RE Giovanni Battista [English, Italian]RICARD Jean-Pierre [English, Italian] RIGALI Justin Francis [English, Italian] RIVERA CARRERA Norberto [English, Italian]ROBLES ORTEGA Francisco [English, Italian]RODÉ Franc, C.M. [English, Italian] RODR�GUEZ MARADIAGA Oscar Andrés, S.D.B. [English, Italian]ROMEO Paolo [English, Italian]ROUCO VARELA Antonio María [English, Italian] Eliminated due to being outside the age of 60-71: POLETTO SeverinoPOLICARPO José da CRUZRA� Béchara Boutros, O.M.M.RE Giovanni BattistaRIGALI Justin FrancisRODÉ Franc, C.M.ROMEO PaoloROUCO VARELA Antonio MaríaSurvivors from day six (7 of 15): PIACENZA MauroPULJIĆ VinkoRAVASI GianfrancoRICARD Jean-PierreRIVERA CARRERA NorbertoROBLES ORTEGA FranciscoRODR�GUEZ MARADIAGA Oscar Andrés, S.D.B.Total Survivors thus far (36 of 90):ALENCHERRY GeorgeAVIZ João BRAZ deBARBARIN PhilippeBERTELLO GiuseppeBETORI GiuseppeBOZANIĆ JosipBURKE Raymond...

Day five's list of cardinal electors is as follows: NAPIER Wilfrid Fox, O.F.M. [English, Italian]NICORA Attilio [English, Italian]NJUE John [English, Italian]NYCZ Kazimierz [English, Italian] O’BRIEN Edwin Frederick  [English, Italian]O’BRIEN Keith Michael Patrick [English, Italian] OKOGIE Anthony Olubunmi [English, Italian]O'MALLEY Seán Patrick, O.F.M. Cap. [English, Italian] ONAIYEKAN John Olorunfemi  [English, Italian] ORTEGA Y ALAMINO Jaime Lucas [English, Italian]OUELLET Marc, P.S.S. [English, Italian] PATABANDIGE DON Albert Malcolm Ranjith [English, Italian]PELL George [English, Italian] PENGO Polycarp [English, Italian] PHAM MINH MÂN Jean-Baptiste [English, Italian] Eliminated due to being outside the age of 60-71: NICORA AttilioO’BRIEN Edwin FrederickO’BRIEN Keith Michael PatrickOKOGIE Anthony OlubunmiORTEGA Y ALAMINO Jaime LucasPHAM MINH MÂN Jean-BaptisteSurvivors from day five (9 of 15): NAPIER Wilfrid Fox, O.F.M.NJUE JohnNYCZ KazimierzO'MALLEY Seán Patrick, O.F.M. Cap.ONAIYEKAN John OlorunfemiOUELLET Marc, P.S.S.PATABANDIGE DON Albert Malcolm RanjithPELL GeorgePENGO PolycarpTotal Survivors thus far...

After finally watching Survivor for the first time, beginning with Season 20 - Heroes vs. Villains, I became an instant fan. Since then, I have watched every episode of every season - and they're about to begin Season 26. In between seasons, I have been trying to play catch-up. I have seen Seasons 1-3 and 9-13, and I've loved every minute. Sure, it's reasonable to ask whether it is an appropriate thing for a practicing Catholic to watch. The players aren't dressed modestly, though that's to be expected since it often takes place in the tropics, and in all...

If anyone remembers the story behind this great case of legal intepretation, please comment.

Monday, February 11, 2013 Dept of Homeland Security's curiosity piqued over Pope Benedict XVI's retirement and Catholic ProphecyBy Brian Kopp Back in 2011, two posts on the Summorum Pontificum blog garnered multiple visits from multiple office locations and ISPs of the Department of Homeland Security: For fourth anniversary of Summorum Pontificum, Pope draws attention to little known prophecies of Venerable Elena Aiello The apocalyptic prophecies of Hildegard of Bingen, the next Doctor of the Church Today, two different computers at the DHS Washington DC offices stopped in once again at the Summorum Pontificum blog: Notice the link that lead them...

They were a tornado of plaid and elbows running out the doors of their Catholic elementary school. Four of them waved a green piece of paper above their heads excitedly but the kindergartener was just running because she doesn’t know any other speed. I hardly had time to imagine what was on the green paper before they slammed themselves against the van all eager to be the first to announce something. In the maelstrom of words I made out the phrase “talent show.� The girls were particularly excited. The 13 year old climbed into the front seat, which still feels...

...Follow me on Stand up comic, Dave Ackerman, goes to Brigham Young University to find out what BYU students know about Black History Month.

It was one of one of those grand summits in the journey through life, when the entire landscape is set before you in ultra-high definition. Suddenly, you know where you are, where you are going and what you have to do to get there. I upgraded my iPhone....

Marc Barnes says of this women’s ordination video “Ordain a lady: that “This might be the greatest video ever to happen to the Catholic Church.� and goes on in post Why The Catholic Priesthood Is Composed of Dudes Ordain A Lady YouTube Video This is certainly the funniest thing I have seen in a while and one of the best defenses for the Church’s teaching. I would have been hard-pressed to make a better parody and the words are genius. Well at least it would be a genius video if it wasn’t real.Though one thing that really gets my ire...

DES MOINES — Last month, Lori Danes, 43, called the prayer line of a major television ministry and requested prayer for her mother’s persistent ulcers. But her prayer representative, who called himself “Darren,” prayed in a strong Indian accent that “all the gods would bless her mightily.” “I was stunned,” Danes says. “It was like I’d called a demon prayer line.” The manager of India Prayer Solutions, located in Mumbai, India, apologized for the incident and fired the employee who, he said, had not been properly trained. But dozens of similar incidents have rattled U.S. callers since major ministries...

New Agers and UFO watchers will be barred access to the flat-top mount outside Bugarach, population 179, during a four-day period around the date they are convinced represents Armageddon. New Agers and UFO watchers will be barred access to the flat-top mount outside Bugarach, population 179, during a four-day period around the date they are convinced represents Armageddon. They believe the Pic de Bugarach is an "alien garage" and that extraterrestrials are quietly waiting in a massive cavity beneath the rock for the world to end, at which point they will leave, taking, it is hoped, a lucky few humans...

BROKEN ARROW, Okla. — Kerrie Jameson is confident she is going to heaven. What scares her is the possibility that she’ll show up 30 pounds overweight and stay that way forever. “I work a desk job, and my physique reflects that,” says Jameson, 28, who used to work out daily but has fallen into bad eating habits. “I have this horrible image of myself standing before the throne looking like a lumpy sack of flour. Everyone else will be worshiping, and I’ll be slinking off to a corner to eat chocolate and console myself.” The idea of being fat in...