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Humor (Religion)

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  • Catholic Hardware Store Sued for Refusing to Sell Gay Extension Cord [Satire? or Prophetic?]

    07/07/2015 1:48:33 AM PDT · by markomalley · 20 replies
    Catholic Vote ^ | 7/6/15 | John White
    The Catholic owners of “Joe’s Hardware” in Atchison, Kansas are defending themselves against a federal lawsuit that accuses them of violating equal protection laws because they refused to sell a same-sex extension cord to a customer last month.The plaintiff in the lawsuit is Flip Rosco, a poodle trainer from Greenwich Village. During a press conference announcing the lawsuit, Mr. Rosco caused some initial confusion when he was asked what he was doing in Atchison in the first place. “Looking for a Catholic hardware store to sue,” he proclaimed, to a few raised eyebrows. “Love wins,” he quickly added, which seemed...
  • Supreme Court Demands Apology From God For Sodom And Gomorrah [do I need to say it?]

    06/26/2015 6:47:27 PM PDT · by markomalley · 21 replies
    Just hours after ruling that all Americans, no matter their sexual orientation, can now legally marry the people they love, the U.S. Supreme Court went forward with plans to demand that God apologize and make amends for His actions at Sodom and Gomorrah.Many are calling the decision to hold God liable for the destruction of the impenitent cities as a victory for gay rights activists who have fought for centuries to see God brought to justice.The justices found that, under the 14th Amendment, states must issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples and recognize same-sex unions that have been performed in...
  • Pope Francesco's Amazing Climate Theatre

    06/25/2015 3:14:18 PM PDT · by ubipetrusest · 8 replies
    brotherlapin,com ^ | June 16, 2015 | Brother Lapin
    Morris tells me the recyclical Laudato Si’ is subtitled: “Pope Francesco’s Amazing Climate Theatre,” and how appropriate this is. The recyclical provides fun for all the family: there’s something in the show for everyone: global warming enthusiasts, liberals, Buddhists, atheists, New Age hippies, greens, and everyone who enjoys those lovely pictures of Saint Francis surrounded by corgis, hummingbirds and My Little Pony, without asking awkward questions like, “What did Francis say about sin?” At the heart of this recyclical is the popular image of Saint Francis surrounded by cuddly animals, and this is where we find the real theological and...
  • A Most Dangerous Heresy

    06/17/2015 10:34:24 AM PDT · by NRx · 13 replies
    ignatius his conclave ^ | 06-17-2015 | gkirkuk
    The scientific world was shocked and outraged today when the long-awaited papal encyclical on climate change, De haeretico comburendo, was leaked by seasoned Vatican watcher Sandro Magister. Magister was immediately stripped of his press accreditation. In a scathing attack on what he will call ‘the climate change industry’, Pope Francis will claim that recorded changes over recent years are well within generally accepted margins of error, and that evidence that they are primarily caused by human activity are ‘highly speculative and almost certainly exaggerated’. The Pope will call for the resources of global finance now being devoted to lowering greenhouse...
  • New Encyclical Eagerly Awaited

    06/12/2015 6:47:12 PM PDT · by marshmallow · 2 replies
    Corinth, 55 A.D.Next week sees the publication of a new encyclical, provisionally entitled 1 Corinthians; since the Holy Father (Peter) is rather busy with audiences, travels, and photo-opportunities at the moment, it is believed that the encyclical has been mostly drafted by a very senior colleague, probably Cardinal Paul. Cardinal Paul, with the draft encyclical.So what shall we see in the new encyclical? Will it refer to climate change on the Sea of Galilee, to the man who sowed a crop of wheat only to find that his enemy sowed biofuels among it, or to wind farms near Jerusalem? No,...
  • Do-It-Yourself Impressive Theological Constructs

    06/04/2015 6:55:02 PM PDT · by Gamecock · 9 replies
  • If Paul’s Epistle to the Galatians was Published in Christianity Today

    06/03/2015 7:21:59 AM PDT · by Gamecock · 66 replies
    LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Dear Christianity Today: In response to Paul D. Apostle’s article about the Galatian church in your January issue, I have to say how appalled I am by the unchristian tone of this hit piece. Why the negativity? Has he been to the Galatian church recently? I happen to know some of the people at that church, and they are the most loving, caring people I’ve ever met. Phyllis Snodgrass; Ann Arbor, MI ———————————————————————— Dear Editor: How arrogant of Mr. Apostle to think he has the right to judge these people and label them accursed. Isn’t that...
  • Mysterious Red Mark Beneath Painting of Crucified Christ ... Leads Pastor to Speculate on Jesus' ...

    06/02/2015 10:51:35 AM PDT · by Red Badger · 34 replies
    www.christianpost.com ^ | June 2, 2015|7:57 am | By Stoyan Zaimov , Christian Post Reporter
    FULL TITLE: Mysterious Red Mark Beneath Painting of Crucified Christ at Newport Church Leads Pastor to Speculate on Jesus' Presence ********************************************************************************* Mysterious red stain beneath painting of Jesus at St. John the Evangelist Church in Newport leads to speculation of holy presence in May 2015. A narrow red stain that has remained for years beneath a painting of a crucified Christ at the Saint John the Evangelist church in Newport, Rhode Island, has led the church's pastor to speculate on its possible meaning and the presence of Jesus. Providence Journal reported on Monday that the 140-year-old Episcopal church has recently...
  • Today's Toons 6/2/15

    06/02/2015 3:25:03 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 10 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/2/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Ireland Approves Reentry Of Snakes Into Country By Popular Vote (satire?)

    05/27/2015 9:07:02 AM PDT · by markomalley · 5 replies
    Ireland overwhelmingly approved a referendum to allow “snakes” back in the country on Saturday, becoming the first country in the world to allow such a move by popular vote. Though the final tally is yet unknown, the referendum achieved the support of an estimated 65 percent of the population. Michael Fitzpatrick, prominent supporter of the “H##l No” campaign, conceded the referendum’s defeat Saturday morning. “It is a said day now that Ireland has approved reentry of paganism,” Fitzpatrick said, explaining how, although snakes have never actually existed in Ireland, that the referendum would now allow the “pagans,” which he believed...
  • Why I am No Longer a Dispensationalist

    05/22/2015 4:54:44 PM PDT · by OK Sun · 934 replies
    Credo House ^ | May 21, 2015 | C. Michael Patton
    My Dispensational Upbringing I have been taught Dispensationalism from my mother’s womb. I was born in a dispensational environment. It was assumed at my church to be a part of the Gospel. There was never another option presented. It made sense. It helped me put together the Scriptures in a way that cleared up so much confusion. And, to be honest, the emphasis on the coming tribulation, current events that prove the Bible’s prophecy, the fear that the Antichrist may be alive today (who is he?) was all quite exciting. But what might be the biggest attraction for me...
  • ASK FATHER: The proper way for women to wear a chapel veil?

    05/20/2015 4:00:09 PM PDT · by markomalley · 24 replies
    WDTPRS ^ | 5/20/15 | Fr. John Zuhlsdorf
    From a reader…QUAERITUR: I have noticed at the Traditional Latin Mass I attend that the women cover their heads with their veils once their sit down in their pews. [?!?] I was told by a friend that the norm years ago was that women veiled their heads before their entered the church and took off their veils once they stepped out of church, not once they sat down in their pews. [!] Which is the proper way for women who veil their heads? Are the women who veil once they enter their pews doing anything wrong? Should the priest(s) address...
  • Tonight's the Night!

    05/05/2015 8:33:20 PM PDT · by OK Sun · 5 replies
    The Dry Bones Blog ^ | Wednesday, May 06, 2015 | Yaakov Kirschen
    Not sure what this holiday is all about?Well, according to www.jewishvirtuallibrary.org: The Torah teaches that "the Jewish people are obligated to count the days from the second night of Passover to the day before Shavu'ot - a total of exactly seven full weeks or 49 days. This period is known as the Omer, in reference to the biblical omer which meant a unit of measure. On the second day of Passover, in the days of the Temple, an omer of barley was cut down and brought to the Temple as an offering. The counting is intended to remind us...
  • Mamma Mia – Perfectly in God’s Design, as Seen in a Short Video (Think Mother's Day)

    05/02/2015 6:58:31 AM PDT · by Salvation · 8 replies
    Archdiocese of Washington ^ | 05-02-15 | Msgr. Charles Pope
    Mamma Mia – Perfectly in God’s Design, as Seen in a Short Video By: Msgr. Charles PopeNancy Pope and Charlie Pope 1961My mother died a little more than ten years ago, quite tragically and suddenly. At first her presence seemed so far away, her soothing voice with its gentle mid-western accent, gone. But then about six months ago, in my heart and deep in my thoughts, I had a sense that suddenly she moved closer to me. Perhaps her purgation was at an end, or perhaps some roadblock in my own heart moved. But there she was, and once...
  • [Satire] New App Allows User To Locate Where Least Crappy Homily Going To Be Delivered In Area

    04/29/2015 2:27:18 AM PDT · by markomalley · 10 replies
    The Vatican announced this morning that they have launched “CrapHom,” a new app for iPhone and Android that allows Catholics to view which local parishes will have the lamest homilies and which will have the least lame homilies.“As everyone knows, the whole point of the homily is to instruct and uplift the faithful, but since that’s nearly impossible these days, this will at least give a user the option of not being scandalized during the homily,” a Vatican spokesman told EOTT this morning. “The point of the app is to allow parishioners the luxury of getting to hear the least...
  • Vatican Approves New Emoji Translation Of Mass [satire]

    04/09/2015 6:02:01 PM PDT · by markomalley · 5 replies
    The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has approved a new emoji translation of the Mass to help young adults more actively follow along during church services.“We’ve found that most young adults can no longer read complete sentences or even complete words,” said Vatican spokesman Ronaldo Bernini, going to say that the minority of young adults that can read, cannot do so fast enough to keep up with the blistering pace of the Mass. “We still have some work to do before the final version comes out. We’ve hired over one hundred teenagers to look over the new missal...
  • Praying of the Rosary Is NOT Bible-Based Teaching

    03/24/2015 8:06:07 AM PDT · by RnMomof7 · 927 replies
    The Disciplers ^ | 2011 | Ptr. Vince
    Praying The Rosary Is Not Biblical, And Is A Form Of Idolatry Just last Sunday, a local newspaper paper released an article teaching that the praying of the Holy Rosary is Bible-based. In the first two paragraphs, the writer admittedly says that there is no passage in the Bible teaching nor mentioned about the praying of Rosary. However, in the following paragraphs, the writer justified the praying of the Rosary basing it on the repetition of historical events of some Bible characters (like Gideon as he mentioned) about Israel’s history. I don’t know if the writer of this article did...
  • Feast of the Enunciation? [Christian Churches Celebrate 'Feast of The Enunciation' on March 25th]

    03/25/2015 7:26:59 AM PDT · by Alex Murphy · 5 replies
    WWN, by way of The Waffling Anglican ^ | November 28, 2006 | Mike The Greek
    I miss the Weekly World News! It stands head–and-shoulders above the rest of the tabloids for sheer exuberance and hilarity. Other tabloids waste their time and efforts on Brangelina and Brittany Spears stories, while WWW sticks with the straight "news" of alien cab drivers and three-headed chihuahuas. At various times, I have purchased subscriptions to WWW for my old lab boss, so it would come proudly addressed to his faculty mail box, and for one of the Major Consulting Firm partners so it would be delivered in his name to the front desk at the office. Rediscovered last spring on...
  • The Media's Rules for Religious Self-Identification (Satire - but only a little)

    03/15/2015 11:21:40 AM PDT · by NRx
    YouTube ^ | 03-15-2015 | Lutheran Satire
    How the media handles religious self identification.
  • Man starts church for jerks

    03/15/2015 8:14:21 AM PDT · by piasa · 28 replies
    YORBA LINDA — Walk into Mark Hanson’s church and nobody will greet you. The guys hanging around the foyer might even make fun of what you’re wearing, or your haircut. A sign over the entrance reads, “Grab a seat in the back and shut up. Nobody cares what you think.” Welcome to Jerk Church. “You know these guys,” says Hanson, the pastor and founder. “They sit with their arms folded the whole time, leave during the altar call, criticize the pastor, snort when other people state their opinions and never create lasting bonds of friendship. Their wives are always really...
  • Using One of Alinsky's Rules on the "Progressives" in the Church (Catholic Caucus)

    03/10/2015 2:55:09 PM PDT · by NYer · 5 replies
    Les Femmes ^ | March 9, 2015
    The video below is hilarious. My only criticism is that they move a little too fast to read some of the "translations." As I'm posting it the video has only 84 views. Can we make it go viral? Saul Alinsky was a brilliant tactician. Anyone who's read his Rules for Radicals has to recognize that his rules work. Some are immoral. (He believed the end justifies the means and would use just about any means to achieve his goals.) But without accepting the evil in his rule book, one can certainly borrow his morally neutral means. And humor is a...
  • FYI, Yes, I am a "valuable friend of Catholic Answers"

    03/06/2015 5:16:43 AM PST · by Alex Murphy · 10 replies
    Beggars All: Reformation ^ | March 2, 2015 | James Swan
    Dear James , Because you are a valuable friend of Catholic Answers, you have been selected to participate in a survey to help us improve our apostolate. As a thank-you, we will be giving away 25 signed copies of Tim Staples’s newest book, Behold Your Mother. Combining the best recent scholarship with in-depth knowledge of Scripture, this book offers the most thorough Marian apologetics you’ll find anywhere. Give us your feedback by 11:59 p.m. on Sunday, March 8, 2015 and you will be entered to win one of 25 signed copies of Behold Your Mother! Click here to start the...
  • Frank the Hippie Pope and Bart the Patriarch Sing Love Songs

    03/05/2015 10:00:49 AM PST · by NRx · 7 replies
    YouTube ^ | 14 December 2014 | Lutheran Satire
    Frank the Hippie Pope and Bart the Patriarch Sing Love Songs
  • Pope Francis: Pop! Vinyls, Bobblehead & Collectibles by Funko

    02/14/2015 9:39:36 AM PST · by Alex Murphy · 8 replies
    ToysREvil ^ | 02/14/2015
    And while we've featured some reveals at the Funko booth for New York Toy Fair 2015 (Feb 14-17) including their new Vinyl Sugar-line, this particular slice of toy-news requires a post all on it's own. Pope Francis as vinyl collectibles! "This is where we get insane! Insanely holy! The People's Pope, Pope Francis is now a Pop! Asia vinyl figure, as well as the Holy-Shaker Bobble-Head, and finally a Collectormates Premium Figure...all from our friends at MINDstyle. This is official merchandise of Pope Francis's historic visit to the Philippines. A donation will be made for the universal charity work...
  • Nobody Can Do It Like Jimmy Swaggart

    01/27/2015 11:54:14 AM PST · by Gamecock · 31 replies
    orlandosentinel.com ^ | Lewis Grizzard | March 2, 1988
    I was in Baton Rouge a few months ago and somebody from the Chamber of Commerce, upon my request, took me out to see evangelist Jimmy Swaggart's place, which is a four-iron from the plush new Country Club of Louisiana. You can't actually set foot on Jimmy's spread, of course. There are guards to keep you out, not to mention a wall around the estate that locals report cost $800,000 to build. I've seen bigger spreads than Swaggart's. I was at Peter the Great's palace outside Leningrad once. But Swaggart hasn't done badly to come in second to a czar.
  • The real story of the Three Wise Guys.

    01/06/2015 9:17:03 PM PST · by dangus · 15 replies
    ADD, Brain Damage... maybe a little autism. | Me
    I read about how a bunch a' Einsteins are trying to figger out the bible stuff about the three wise men. So I'mmunna straighten you all out, OK? So dis shooting star appears in da East. Of course, when ya say "Da East," you mean Joizzey. Evrybuddy knows a virgin in New Jersey is a miracle. No, for real: in Latin, New Jersey is "Nova Caesaria," or "City of the New Ceasar." Look it up. Ya got Bethlehem on one side, and the Empire on the other. So a shooting star is gonna mean someone in Seton Hall. Come on,...
  • An Image for the Church in a “Way-Cool” Christmas Gift

    01/03/2015 8:52:33 AM PST · by Salvation · 19 replies
    Archdiocese of Washington ^ | 01-03-15 | Msgr. Charles Pope
    An Image for the Church in a “Way-Cool” Christmas Gift By: Msgr. Charles PopeIf you’re looking for a last minute gift for someone (remember, Christmas goes on till Epiphany), consider the “Septem-Seater Tricycle.” Don’t worry that it costs  $20,000; you can charge it or put it on a payment plan! Yes, it is the seven-seat tricycle in the Hammacher Schlemmer Catalog. I suspect it is one of those corporate “team-building” items. A large corporation might be able to afford the hefty cost or even just rent it for corporate “retreats.” It would sure be fun to try it out.At any rate I...
  • Catholic Church Fails To Behead a Single Person in 2014

    01/01/2015 12:42:41 AM PST · by SweetAkitoRose · 26 replies
    Catholic Vote ^ | Dec 30, 2014 | John White
    For the most intolerant and extreme religion in the world, this is a rather embarrassing statistic. It appears that the Catholic Church, widely recognized as the most uncompromising and dogmatic among the world’s major religions, is about to close out the year without executing a single person. As everyone knows, the Catholic Church is a religion of strict doctrine, ruling every aspect of each individual Catholic’s life from the Vatican with an iron fist, while at the same time relentlessly imposing its beliefs on the rest of society. Yet for some reason the Catholic Church has had an abysmal year...
  • Christmas Isn’t Perfect – So Find Christ in Your Real Christmas

    12/20/2014 9:35:30 AM PST · by Salvation · 13 replies
    Archdiocese of Washington ^ | 12-19-14 | Msgr. Charles Pope
    Christmas Isn’t Perfect – So Find Christ in Your Real Christmas By: Msgr. Charles PopeMost of us have a perfect Christmas in mind. Often it is the creation of Hallmark, Currier & Ives, and various marketers. But none of us will have a perfect Christmas, just a real one.The First Christmas wasn’t perfect either. In fact, the only way to describe it is to call it a crisis. Mary was pregnant before marriage, a very dangerous thing in those times. Just at the time of birth they were required to travel eighty miles on foot to Bethlehem. There was no...
  • Church - Saturday Night Live

    12/15/2014 2:28:32 AM PST · by iowamark · 17 replies
    SNL ^ | Dec. 14, 2014
    St. Joseph's Christmas Mass Spectacular features Pastor Pat (Bobby Moynihan), organist Linda Tayhoe (Kate McKinnon) and all 44 verses of "O Come All Ye Faithful."
  • Martin Luther responds to some @JoelOsteen tweets

    12/05/2014 2:03:54 PM PST · by Gamecock · 41 replies
  • Halachos (Religious Law) of Christmas

    11/30/2014 12:31:05 PM PST · by Phinneous · 25 replies
    Jewish World Review ^ | 12/24/98 | Jewish World Review
    A humorous (if you understand Jewish ritual law--halacha) take on "the halacha" of Christmas trees-- Know that Jews have myriad laws governing daily life... For example, Chanukah candles must be kindles at a certain time, and last a certain duration...and oy vey what happens in a million after-the-fact cases where one did NOT meet the requirements, etc. All the funny quirky things you positively love about us Jews. What if they were transposed onto Christmas... the results might be something like this: (key: "Mitzvah" means commandment:) 1. PREPARATIONS FOR XMAS MUST NOT BEGIN(1) BEFORE THANKSGIVING.(2) THIS APPLIES TO PREPARATIONS WHICH...
  • Parody: Bergoglio and Synod

    11/23/2014 2:48:24 PM PST · by ebb tide · 8 replies
    Catholic Family News ^ | 11/22/14 | John Vennari
    Me and Bergoglia down by the Synod
  • Update: Pope Francis and One-World Religion [Pope Picked to Lead One-World Church]

    11/20/2014 8:57:24 PM PST · by ebb tide · 37 replies
    Catholic Family News ^ | 10/11/14 | Cornelia R. Ferreira
    Isn’t it extraordinary how something long in existence can be suddenly re-proposed as a brilliant new idea? Politicians and educators, hoping we have memory problems, often do this to fool us into thinking they are working hard to improve a situation. Another audacious example of this strategy was recently provided by the Holy See’s support of a proposal for a “United Religions”. The proposal came from former Israeli President and Nobel Peace Prize-winner Shimon Peres. At a private audience with Pope Francis this September 4th, Peres “proposed the founding of a United Religions organization — modelled after the United Nations...
  • How Many Protestant Denominations Are There? [vanity]

    11/13/2014 6:49:41 PM PST · by Heart-Rest · 635 replies
    How Many Protestant Denominations Are There? Partial List of 5000+ Protestant Denominations by Name How Many Protestant Denominations Are There?    The 20,000 / 30,000 numbers and David Barrett's statistics "The Facts and Stats on "33,000 Denominations" The 20,000 / 30,000 numbers and David Barrett's statistics Part II (Above links derived from here) ===> ("How Many Protestant Denominations Are There?") ⛪⛪⛪⛪⛪⛪⛪⛪⛪⛪ There are many, many more Protestant denominations out there, not just those reflected in the links above.    How many?    Well, nobody really knows for sure exactly how many Protestant denominations exist at any given point in...
  • 16 Memes that Explain What Christians REALLY Do

    11/11/2014 8:39:41 AM PST · by millegan · 8 replies
    ChurchPOP ^ | 2014 | ChurchPOP
    The “What People Think I Do / What I Really Do” meme is a clever way of poking fun at stereotypes vs. reality. We’ve assembled some of the best related to Christianity from around the web. Enjoy!
  • QUIZ: Modernist Church or Communist Building?

    11/10/2014 1:44:59 PM PST · by millegan · 21 replies
    ChurchPOP ^ | 2014 | ChurchPOP
    Test and fine-tune your modernist-church-detection abilities against your communist-architecture-detection skills! It's harder than you think...
  • 37 Signs You Were a Youth Group Kid

    11/09/2014 11:31:35 AM PST · by millegan · 4 replies
    ChurchPOP ^ | 2014 | ChurchPOP
    1) You learned how to spell with this song: [video] 2) You survived a Fear Factor inspired eating game. 3) You’ve been to Mexico for a mission/service trip. 4) You’ve given your “testimony” to a large group before. 5) Your public prayers are filled with “Father God” and “just…” 6) You learned just enough on the guitar to lead worship songs with 4 chords.
  • Some humor in dark times

    11/01/2014 8:15:06 AM PDT · by Ouchthatonehurt · 4 replies
    Unknown
    Some humor my Catholic FRiends will enjoy in these challenging times. Modified slightly from the original which I heard recently. So, after the Synod on the Family in Rome, Cardinal Kasper crosses the river to get a little night cap. He wanders into a bar and sits down next to two gentlemen who are already there. They exchange pleasantries and intoduce themselves to each other. One of the men is a medical doctor and the other is an architect. They get into a long and passionate discussion about the value of their respective occupations and the question arises as to...
  • 11 of the Best #ThingsJesusNeverSaid

    10/18/2014 2:12:09 PM PDT · by millegan · 24 replies
    ChurchPOP ^ | 2014 | ChurchPOP
    All of these are from the Things Jesus Never Said Facebook Page.
  • If the Council of Jerusalem had been covered by our Mainstream Media (#MSM)...

    10/16/2014 6:03:07 AM PDT · by Teófilo · 9 replies
    Vivificat - From Contemplation to Action ^ | 16 October, 2014 | Teófilo de Jesús (@vivificat)
    Brethren, Peace be with you. Observing the media coverage of the ongoing Synod of Bishops in Rome, I wondered how the media would have covered that first "synod" or gathering of Christians in Jerusalem in 50 A.D. Please join me in this imaginative tour as we accompany a Roman journalist in his investigation and reporting.    Conflict in Jerusalem: Conservative Palestinian Jews and Liberal Jews from the Diaspora Battle for the Soul of the Christos' Way. Jerusalem, Saturday, eve before the XVI kalends of November, DCCCIII a. U. C.  Representatives of the Christos' movement from Judea, Syria, and elsewhere in...
  • Nun too helpful: Why giving money to Planned Parenthood doesn’t protect women

    10/10/2014 6:55:02 PM PDT · by Morgana · 1 replies
    Live Action ^ | Adam Peters
    Like most people, I occasionally put my foot in my mouth. That can involve calling a friend by the wrong name, making a double entendre, or realizing that I’ve just asked out a nun. Well, technically she was a sister. Last year, I visited Aquinas College (a Catholic university in Tennessee) to watch a friend receive an award for a paper he’d written. There were other students up for awards that night, and more than a few of them were wearing habits. The sisters gave informed talks on a number of issues, including religious freedom in Vietnam and the relationship...
  • Joel Osteen or Fortune Cookie?

    09/30/2014 8:53:32 PM PDT · by Alex Murphy · 12 replies
    Challies.com ^ | May 12, 2010 | Tim Challies
    he other day I ate some rather extraordinary Thai food for lunch and, on my way out, grabbed a fortune cookie. I cracked it open and read a silly little proverb meant to inspire, I suppose. I wish it had said “Brisk uphill walk after all-you-can-eat Thai is a bad idea.” Never mind. As I waddled my way home, regretting that last bowl of curry (so delicious…), I thought “This fortune sounds like something Joel Osteen would say.” And then it struck me—there is very little difference between Joel and those fortune cookies (except that the cookies are delicious, of...
  • Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI Asks To Be Reinstated As Pope [satire]

    09/25/2014 6:50:52 PM PDT · by markomalley · 6 replies
    Eye of the Tiber ^ | 9/25/2014
    VATICAN–According to reports today, Pope Emeritus Benedict XVI is seeking the chair of his pontificate months after his resignation. The news has sent shock waves around the world.Vatican spokesman Fr. Vitateli Devitiamani told EOTT that, “He came for a dinner as scheduled and then proceeded to return to his old living quarters. That wouldn’t be a problem, since His Holiness Pope Francis chose to live elsewhere, the room is open. However, once we asked him where he was going, he simply said, ‘I’m back,’ then proceeded to put his sunglasses on even though we were inside.”Sources say that the next...
  • Francis Declares that Christ “Had” a “Christian Identity”

    09/03/2014 6:03:44 PM PDT · by ebb tide · 32 replies
    The Remnant ^ | September 3, 2014 | Christopher Ferrara
    It seems that not a day passes without Pope Francis’s off-the-cuff homilies and remarks producing a theological embarrassment: Mary “perhaps” felt tricked by God when she saw Her son on the Cross (“Lies! I was cheated!”), Christ merely pretended to be angry with this disciples (“Jesus does not become angry, but pretends to”), Matthew clung to his money when Christ called him (“No, not me! No, this money is mine!”), rather than immediately heeding Our Lord’s call as the Gospel records (Matt. 9:9-13)­—and so on and so forth, day in and day out. Just yesterday Francis, resuming his morning Masses...
  • 37 Photos that Prove that Nuns Live Boring Lives

    08/24/2014 6:55:45 AM PDT · by Morgana · 24 replies
    Catholiclink.com ^ | Garrett Johnson
    When I entered I saw what I had written. I wanted to say a word to you and the word is “joy”. Wherever there are consecrated people, seminarians, men and women religious, young people, there is joy, there is always joy! It is the joy of freshness, the joy of following Jesus; the joy that the Holy Spirit gives us, not the joy of the world. There is joy! but — where is joy born? Joy is born from the gratuitousness of an encounter! It is hearing someone say, but not necessarily with words: “You are important to me”. This...
  • Traditional catholic speed dating

    08/14/2014 2:53:15 PM PDT · by Morgana · 13 replies
    Traditional catholic speed dating (cartoon on linky)
  • Proverb A Day, Proverb 13 [Prayer and Meditation]

    08/13/2014 8:25:48 AM PDT · by OneVike · 1 replies
    Bible NKJV | 900 BC | Solomon
    Proverb 13 (NKJV) Wisdom Loves Righteousness 01 A wise son heeds his father's instruction, 00 But a scoffer does not listen to rebuke. 02 A man shall eat well by the fruit of his mouth, 00 But the soul of the unfaithful feeds on violence. 03 He who guards his mouth preserves his life, 00 But he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction. 04 The soul of a lazy man desires, and has nothing; 00 But the soul of the diligent shall be made rich. 05 A righteous man hates lying, 00 But a wicked man is...
  • Do Franciscan Sisters have Bridal Showers

    08/06/2014 11:55:47 AM PDT · by Morgana · 5 replies
    It is tradition among the Franciscan Sisters of Christian Charity. The night before perpetual profession there’s a ‘Bride of Christ Shower’ (simple, yet festive reception) for the Sister(s) professing perpetual vows. Candles and lights helped create a warm atmosphere of joyful sharing on Sister Pamela Catherine’s August 1, 2014 party. Franciscan Bridal Shower BrideWho comes? The party is planned by those Sisters in Temporary Vows. Sisters on our General Administration are invited along with any Sisters who served as a support community for the Sister Pamela Catherine or for the Sisters in Temporary Profession that summer.
  • I'd Kill Myself if I Had That Many Kids

    07/30/2014 1:44:17 PM PDT · by NYer · 148 replies
    NC Register ^ | July 30, 2014 | Matthew Archbold
    My wife and I recently attended a sports banquet for one of our kids' sports teams at a local restaurant. It was one of those events that I wanted to go to about as much as I wanted to get three teeth pulled. But my wife assured me it would be fun. I didn't believe her but I came anyway. We've gone to so many of these things as my five kids are on at least three sports teams. All the kids sat together at a long table and all the parents sat at another table with the coaches. I have...