Free Republic 3rd Quarter Fundraising Target: $88,000 Receipts & Pledges to-date: $55,034
Woo hoo!! And we're now over 62%!! Thank you all very much!! God bless.

Humor (Religion)

Brevity: Headers | « Text »
  • Did Elevation Church Get a Water Slide Baptismal?

    08/21/2016 10:55:46 AM PDT · by Gamecock · 9 replies
    Charisma News ^ | 8/8/2016 | Jessilyn Justice
    Despite rampant social media rumors, Steven Furtick's Elevation Church did not get a water slide baptismal. The report stems from a post on the Christian satire site The Babylon Bee. Pastor Steven Furtick took the stage under a single spotlight, and after some coy banter, he reportedly announced that it was "Baptism Sunday," but that this was "not your Mama's Baptism Sunday." At this cue, a giant water slide, stretching from the balcony down to a small pool of water, was unveiled from behind a large curtain as the worship band began performing TLC's 1994 hit "Waterfalls."  The Babylon Bee claims to be "Your...
  • Nations Unborn Collectively Recoil As Hillary Clinton Accepts Nomination

    07/29/2016 6:35:42 AM PDT · by Gamecock · 3 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | July 28, 2016
    U.S.In a simultaneous mass reaction which caused their millions of mothers to visibly flinch, Americas entire population of unborn babies collectively recoiled in terror at the exact moment Hillary Clinton accepted the Democratic nomination for President of the United States Thursday evening. Sources nationwide reported the occurrence, confirming that leading up to Clintons address, pregnant women began trembling and feeling weak, the effects worsening considerably as she took the stagethen, as soon as the words, I accept came out of Clintons mouth, pregnant mothers around America gasped and buckled, some being woken from slumber and thrown to the ground as...
  • Today's Toons 7/28/16

    07/28/2016 1:30:41 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 9 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 7/28/16 | pookie18
    Click on link
  • A Different Kind of Papal Press Conference [Catholic Caucus]

    07/17/2016 5:11:28 PM PDT · by ebb tide · 6 replies
    Catholic World Report ^ | July 11, 2016 | Nick Bottom
    Pope Francis: Good morning, everyone. Thank you for coming. I have invited you today because I have had a change of heart that I must make public. In a homily recently, I spoke rather forcefully about employers who refuse to pay their workers a just wage. I have had a chance to reflect on that homily in the light of the principles I set forth in my Apostolic Exhortation Amoris Laetitia. I brought a copy so I can refer to it as I take your questions. Please be patient with me as I find the appropriate passages, eh? I believe...
  • Islam is being damaged by media: Dr Zakir

    07/07/2016 5:37:03 AM PDT · by Cronos · 32 replies
    Khaleej Times ^ | 13 June 2016 | Ahmad Shabaan
    The maximum damage done to the image of Islam today is by the international media which is bombarding misconceptions about it day and night using an array of strategies. This was affirmed by renowned Islamic scholar Dr Zakir Naik on Thursday night, June 16, as part of his lecture 'Media & Islam "International media, be it print, audio, video, or online, use a number of strategies to malign Islam by first picking up the black sheep of the Muslim community, and portraying them as though they are exemplary Muslims." Media is the most important tool rather the most dangerous weapon...
  • Does Whoopi Goldberg Understand What 'Pro-Life' Actually Means?

    06/27/2016 8:36:06 PM PDT · by Morgana · 23 replies ^ | June 27, 2016 | Kristine Marsh
    Mondays The View opened by discussing this mornings Supreme Court decision to rule against Texas abortion clinic safety regulations. The panel praised the decision as a victory for womens rights to privacy while co-host Joy Behar said that the pro-lifers were just chipping away at Roe V. Wade. Whoopi Goldberg said she was thrilled about the ruling before strangely claiming she was pro-life; even claiming that all of the ladies on the show were pro-life, they just happened to be for a womans right to choose. Say what? The Supreme Courts decision was celebrated by most of the panelists on...
  • Paula White Launches New Makeup Line For Pretend Pastors

    06/14/2016 3:03:11 PM PDT · by Gamecock · 22 replies
    The End Times ^ | June 14, 2016 | Scott Alan Buss
    APOPKA, FL Paula White is partnering with French cosmetics company LOral to launch a new line of make-up products aimed specifically at meeting the significant cosmetic needs of pretend pastors. White, who serves as Senior Pastor over thousands of easily distracted and amused members of the Destiny Christian Center near Orlando, announced and demonstrated some of the new products during a Sermon on how God told her to launch a new make-up line with LOral. Nobody appreciates quality make-up like a pastorette, White explained. The better we can look, the more people will focus on our beautiful, smiling facesand...
  • Pope To Commission Study To Find More Ways He Can Confuse People

    05/20/2016 12:58:32 AM PDT · by Rashputin · 14 replies
    Eye of The Tiber ^ | May 12, 2016 | Site Admin
    Pope To Commission Study To Find More Ways He Can Confuse People May 12, 2016 by Admin Pope Francis said today that he would set up a commission to study whether or not he can find more ways to confuse and frustrate the living crap out of people, revealing an openness to re-examining the churchs long-held insistence on not speaking off-the-cuff. His move was hailed as a breakthrough by those in the media who have clamored for years to be given more stuff to speculate on, and who cite research showing that a pope whose speeches were scripted and thought...
  • Man seeks restraining order against God

    05/06/2016 12:36:06 PM PDT · by LearnsFromMistakes · 35 replies
    The Times of Israel ^ | May 4, 2016 | STUART WINER
    Haifa resident asks court to keep the Almighty away, claiming He is being mean to him An Israeli man has petitioned the Haifa Magistrates Court for a restraining order against God, claiming the Almighty has been particularly unkind to him. The initiator of the request, a resident of the northern port city, represented himself in court, the Walla news site reported on Wednesday. A protocol of the hearing noted that God did not turn up for the session, although it did not specify how the court determined the Omnipresent was not in fact there, as opposed to merely exercising the...
  • Adult Coloring Book To Feature Favorite Imprecatory Psalms

    04/26/2016 2:36:11 PM PDT · by Gamecock · 8 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 25 April 2016
    GRAND RAPIDS, MIFeaturing such favorite verses as O God, break the teeth in their mouths, and, May his children be fatherless and his wife a widow, Zondervans new Coloring the Imprecatory Psalms adult coloring book is set to be released this summer. The exquisitely illustrated black-and-white pages will feature beautiful, inspiring art along with a selection of Psalms that wish a bloody and horrifying death upon the Psalmists wicked foes, according to Zondervans press release Monday. Coloring has been shown to both engage the mind and relieve stress and anxiety, and coloring illustrated Bible verses can help believers recall and...
  • Meet the 'Radical' Baptist Transgender Preacher Who Talks to Angels

    04/19/2016 9:35:10 PM PDT · by Morgana · 64 replies ^ | April 18, 2016 | Jennifer LeClaire
    He's known in MSNBC ranks as "the most radical preacher in America." But it's not the message that makes him radical. Rather, it's the messenger himself. Allyson Dylan Robinson is the first openly transgender ordained in the Baptist church. Donning long red hair and thick-rimmed glasses, he told the Alliance of Baptists he was a "white, straight, lower/upper middle class, European-descended man" when he first arrived at Baylor University's George W. Truett Theological Seminary. As Robinson tells the story, he prayed for 30 years that God would change him and even tried deliverance ministry to find freedom. But God did...
  • Violence Breaks Out At T4G As Rival Theology Gangs Clash

    04/12/2016 6:38:57 PM PDT · by Lee N. Field · 13 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | April 12, 2016
    LOUISVILLE, KYFor the third time in as many gatherings, the Together for the Gospel Conference was marred by an outbreak of turbulence as tensions rose over differing hermeneutic approaches to Scripture. The dispensationalists feel like theyve been given short shrift again, said Dr. John Dawsen, as a Crossway pen whizzed by his ear. Combine the grammatical-historical and redemptive-historical feud and inter-complementarian squabbles, and you have a recipe for contention. Clad in a Straight Outta Westminster t-shirt and sporting a teardrop tattoo by his left eye, Charles Lyman said, Its not my fault they cant read their Bibles. Next time they...
  • PC(USA) OKs Additional Sins

    03/30/2016 4:16:03 PM PDT · by Gamecock · 19 replies
    Babylon Bee ^ | 3/22/2016
    LOUISVILLE, KYBy a nearly unanimous vote, the General Assembly of the Presbyterian Church (USA) voted to overlook or explicitly endorse a number of additional sins in what is being perceived as an attempt to slow its rapid pace of membership decline. As balloons came down, the PC(USA) commissioners danced in the aisles to the Kool & The Gang 1980 party standard Celebrate and some attendees openly wept for joy as the denomination announced their official endorsement of pride, gossip, sorcery, covetousness, theft, and sexual immorality as a general category. Finally, sobbed self-described open gossiper attendee Rebecca Arnett. I no longer...
  • When the Man Who Played Jesus in The Passion of the Christ Met John Paul II

    03/29/2016 2:34:41 PM PDT · by NYer · 14 replies
    Aletelial ^ | March 29, 2016 | Esteban Pittaro
    When Jim Caviezel was young, he had to stay home to study Spanish while his family went to see John Paul II during his visit to Vancouver, British Colombia. He missed out on that chance to see the pope. But 20 years later, having a well-established career in the cinema and having earned the right to play the role of Jesus of Nazareth in Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ, he got a second chance.There are two parts to his meeting with John Paul II, which Caviezel recounted on separate occasions. One is serious; the other hilarious. Together...
  • Kelly: With a pair of bolt cutters and sense of indignation, custodian cuts down what flies...

    03/12/2016 12:11:54 AM PST · by Morgana · 26 replies ^ | March 11, 2016 | Michael Kelly
    FULL TITLE: Kelly: With a pair of bolt cutters and sense of indignation, custodian cuts down what flies in church On the first morning of the 31st annual Cathedral Flower Festival, with its theme of A Night at the Movies, an agitated church custodian made a bold move. Mark Kenney, 59, who grew up in the parish, had worked at St. Cecilia Cathedral for three years. Around 8 a.m. on Jan. 29, he went to a work shed, picked up a pair of heavy-duty bolt cutters and ascended to a catwalk high above the mostly empty nave, or main sanctuary....
  • 11 Mind-bending Christian Book Covers You Can't Unsee

    03/10/2016 7:38:09 AM PST · by Gamecock · 22 replies
    Relevant Magazine ^ | 3/9/2016 | Jesse Carey
    They say you cant judge a book by its cover. That may be true, but disregarding it entirely is equally as big of a mistakeespecially when the cover has a dude rocking a windbreaker so fly that an Urban Outfitters employee would be jealous (see below). Weve spent the last several weeks (yesterday afternoon), searching the labyrinth-like halls of the worlds most intricate libraries (Google) to create this list of mind-bending (somewhat entertaining) Christian book covers.A Potato That Wasnt a Christian As the subtitle makes clear, this is actually serious business. Image Amish Vampires in Space Admit it. You want...
  • Pope Francis Declares All Cats Christians At Vatican Summit (iocus)

    03/09/2016 10:57:20 AM PST · by Gamecock · 46 replies
    VATICAN CITYIn a sweeping statement Tuesday, Pope Francis announced his belief that all cats across the world are Christians. Although pundits frequently acknowledge the Popes progressive policies, Catholic scholars are calling this a truly unprecedented move. A Pope hasnt made a declaration like this since Pope Alexander VI issued a Papal Bull against Llamas in 1493, noted one high-ranking official at the Vatican, who chose to remain anonymous. One thing is certain: this will change the conversation on whether an individual can truly own a cat. Several years ago, scholars universally acknowledged that all dogs go to heaven. It is...
  • Church of Cheetah? Newspaper Suggests Chimp Religious Worship

    03/04/2016 7:58:11 PM PST · by PJ-Comix · 11 replies
    Newsbusters ^ | March 4, 2016 | P.J. Gladnick
    Church of Cheetah Missouri Synod? Perhaps not as ridiculous as it soundsaccording to the U.K. Independent. That newspaper suggests that chimpanzees tossing rocks at treescould be a primitive form of religous practice. They provide a video of this "ritual" but to your humble correspondent, it looks like nothing more than a bunch of dumb monkeys idly tossing rocks around. However, the idea of chimp worship is no more ridiculous thanthe Independent aping a lot of other news outlets last December when they published a story about how 2016 will be the HOTTEST YEAR ON RECORD. So rather than be branded...
  • Freedom of speech vs. Freedom of religion

    01/15/2016 7:37:56 PM PST · by nycteacher · 8 replies
    You Tube ^ | 1/15/15 | Unknown
    She lives next door to a mosque. Bought a Husky. Very nice pet, doesn't bite. So what's the complaint?
  • (Video) Bethlehemian Rhapsody

    12/30/2015 5:31:48 PM PST · by grey_whiskers · 5 replies
    YouTube ^ | (this YouTube version 2009) | Mark Bradford/Darla Robinson
    Click on link. I don't whether to laugh or cry or both...
  • Open Letter to Pope Francis From a Former Member of the Roman Curia [Catholic Caucus]

    12/09/2015 5:31:22 PM PST · by o_1_2_3__ · 10 replies
    OnePeterFive ^ | December 9, 2015 | By OnePeterFive
    "You Are Distancing Yourself From Wisdom" On November 27, 2015, the German-language magazine, FOCUS, published an open letter [Issue 49/2015; pp. 46-48] to Pope Francis from a former high-ranking member of the Roman Curia. The author claims to have drawn his inspiration to "omit to speak about all the good that you are doing and are speaking and ... only list those aspects of your exercise of the papal office which seem to me to be problematic" from the pope's own scorching address to the Roman Curia last Christmas. Our thanks to Dr. Maike Hickson for graciously providing us a...
  • St. Paisius Velichkovsky: A Great Hesychast Father [Devotional]

    11/15/2015 8:14:30 AM PST · by NRx · 1 replies
    Mystagogy ^ | 11-15-2015 | unatributed
    Saint Paisius Velichkovsky: A Great Hesychast Father (1 of 8) St.Paisius Velichkovsky (Feast Day - November 15) By His Eminence Metropolitan Hierotheos of Nafpaktos and Agiou Vlasiou Saint Paisius Velichkovsky (1722-1794) was a great figure of monasticism who lived a few years on Mount Athos and communicated in Slavic lands, especially in Ukraine, Moldova and Wallachia, but he spread throughout the Balkan and Russian lands and other areas. He was a great prophetic figure in the field of monasticism in the 18th century, having reintroduced to monasticism in the Balkans and Russia its ancient patristic sources, since monasticism had...
  • Seminarian Dance-Off (originally posted by knittnmom under Bloggers & Personal)

    11/03/2015 3:58:40 PM PST · by BlessedBeGod · 2 replies
    Link to knittnmom's thread, just in case you missed this over in Bloggers & Personal: Seminarian Dance-Off The Dance-off starts a minute in and doesn't end until the chorus finishes the song.
  • Halloween in the Book of Bizarre

    11/02/2015 7:56:10 AM PST · by DouglasKC · 48 replies ^ | 11/02/2015 | Self
    If you are not a Christian or do not consider yourself a Christian stop reading. This doesn't apply to you. But if you ARE a Christian or consider yourself a Christian please think about this. Most Christians who observe Halloween see it as harmless. But the real question is "What would Jesus do?". When we apply our modern standards to biblical truth it looks ridiculous. And that's the intent of the show how ridiculous it is for Christians to keep Halloween. It's humorous but I guarantee it will make some of you angry. If it DOES make you angry...
  • Enid's Ten Weird Mormon Halloween Costumes (The OTHER World Series)

    10/30/2015 4:00:31 AM PDT · by Colofornian · 13 replies ^ | Oct. 31, 2014 | The Garden of Enid
    Happy Halloween from The Garden of Enid!!!
  • What do 2 #LDS #Missionaries do on Halloween when it's curfew? [The OTHER World Series]

    10/26/2015 5:32:23 AM PDT · by Colofornian · 4 replies ^ | June 15, 2015 | Ashley Tycz
    What do 2 #LDS #Missionaries do on Halloween when it's curfew? Hmmm... #lol
  • Rosh Hashana

    09/15/2015 8:45:35 AM PDT · by Jeff Chandler · 12 replies
    Jewish tradition requires us to dip our Apple in honey on Rosh Hashana
  • Papal Parade

    09/11/2015 2:30:21 PM PDT · by ebb tide · 21 replies
    Share in the excitement of #PopeInDC! On September 23, after meeting with President Obama at the White House, Pope Francis will drive a short parade route between the Ellipse and a portion of the National Mall in the Popemobile. The viewing area of the open motorcade route is free and open to the public. No tickets are required, however spectators will need to pass through security. Security gates will open for the Ellipse and the National Mall at 4:00 a.m. on September 23 and will close at 10:00 a.m. No one will be admitted into the area after that point...
  • New Annulment Prime Offers 50% Off; Free Shipping [satire...I think]

    09/08/2015 5:25:08 PM PDT · by markomalley · 10 replies
    The Vatican announced today that its making faster, easier annulments an option via its brand new delivery system, Annulment Prime.The news confirms reports that surfaced last week indicating that the Vatican was staffing up a new separation division to compete with services offered by its protestant competitors.The service will give Annulment Prime members faster annulment options at a fraction of the cost. As an introductory offer, members who sign up to Annulment Prime in the next two days will receive a 30-day free trial. Members will also have access to annulment paperwork order-tracking, as well as the option to track...
  • Pope Francis Says Women Can Have Abortions During Year Of Mercy, MSNBC Reports [Satire]

    09/02/2015 2:03:10 AM PDT · by markomalley · 7 replies
    MSNBC ^ | 9/1/15
    Pope Francis announced Tuesday that he will allow Roman Catholic women to have as many abortions as they want during the upcoming Holy Year of Mercy, MSNBC is reporting. According to MSNBC, Francis said that he will allow women the discretion to absolve themselves of the venial sin of abortion if they had already procured one and had a contrite heart. They also went on to report that Francis urged women who were wanting to procure an abortion to wait until the beginning of the Year of Mercy beginning December 8 so that they would not need a contrite heart...
  • USCCB Approves Initiative To Round All Traditionally Built Churches By End Of Next Year [Satire]

    08/26/2015 6:26:57 PM PDT · by markomalley
    Members of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops announced that they have approved an initiative to round out all remaining traditionally built churches by the end of next year, USCCB secretary to the president bishop Jonathon Garner announced early this morning.This is a long time coming, an ecstatic Garner told EOTT. Were excited to finally give all parishioners the opportunity to finally get more involved in the Mass.Garner also said that during the renovation, parishioners would be invited to come together as one family by sitting around the altar, which, he emphasized, was one of the most essential aspects...
  • Justice Kennedy Creates Same-Sex Marriage Ex Nihilo [satire]

    08/17/2015 4:07:17 AM PDT · by markomalley
    Crisis Magazine ^ | 8/17/15 | Tom Venzor
    In Obergefell v. Hodges, America was once again confronted with the pseudo-philosophical and theological ruminations of Justice Anthony Kennedy. Though ones initial, reasonable tendency would be to assess any court decision on legal grounds, Justice Kennedys opinion is founded on a constitutional jurisprudence that went awry long ago. Instead, perhaps the more appropriate hermeneutic for reading Justice Kennedys opinion is the theological lensa lens that prominently reveals and displays the arrogant and fanciful creation of a liberty out of nothing.In his refreshing dissent, Justice Alito harbors the claim against Justice Kennedy that his majority opinion has imported a distinctively postmodern...
  • Catholic Hardware Store Sued for Refusing to Sell Gay Extension Cord [Satire? or Prophetic?]

    07/07/2015 1:48:33 AM PDT · by markomalley · 20 replies
    Catholic Vote ^ | 7/6/15 | John White
    The Catholic owners of Joes Hardware in Atchison, Kansas are defending themselves against a federal lawsuit that accuses them of violating equal protection laws because they refused to sell a same-sex extension cord to a customer last month.The plaintiff in the lawsuit is Flip Rosco, a poodle trainer from Greenwich Village. During a press conference announcing the lawsuit, Mr. Rosco caused some initial confusion when he was asked what he was doing in Atchison in the first place. Looking for a Catholic hardware store to sue, he proclaimed, to a few raised eyebrows. Love wins, he quickly added, which seemed...
  • Supreme Court Demands Apology From God For Sodom And Gomorrah [do I need to say it?]

    06/26/2015 6:47:27 PM PDT · by markomalley · 21 replies
    Just hours after ruling that all Americans, no matter their sexual orientation, can now legally marry the people they love, the U.S. Supreme Court went forward with plans to demand that God apologize and make amends for His actions at Sodom and Gomorrah.Many are calling the decision to hold God liable for the destruction of the impenitent cities as a victory for gay rights activists who have fought for centuries to see God brought to justice.The justices found that, under the 14th Amendment, states must issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples and recognize same-sex unions that have been performed in...
  • Pope Francesco's Amazing Climate Theatre

    06/25/2015 3:14:18 PM PDT · by ubipetrusest · 8 replies
    brotherlapin,com ^ | June 16, 2015 | Brother Lapin
    Morris tells me the recyclical Laudato Si is subtitled: Pope Francescos Amazing Climate Theatre, and how appropriate this is. The recyclical provides fun for all the family: theres something in the show for everyone: global warming enthusiasts, liberals, Buddhists, atheists, New Age hippies, greens, and everyone who enjoys those lovely pictures of Saint Francis surrounded by corgis, hummingbirds and My Little Pony, without asking awkward questions like, What did Francis say about sin? At the heart of this recyclical is the popular image of Saint Francis surrounded by cuddly animals, and this is where we find the real theological and...
  • A Most Dangerous Heresy

    06/17/2015 10:34:24 AM PDT · by NRx · 13 replies
    ignatius his conclave ^ | 06-17-2015 | gkirkuk
    The scientific world was shocked and outraged today when the long-awaited papal encyclical on climate change, De haeretico comburendo, was leaked by seasoned Vatican watcher Sandro Magister. Magister was immediately stripped of his press accreditation. In a scathing attack on what he will call the climate change industry, Pope Francis will claim that recorded changes over recent years are well within generally accepted margins of error, and that evidence that they are primarily caused by human activity are highly speculative and almost certainly exaggerated. The Pope will call for the resources of global finance now being devoted to lowering greenhouse...
  • New Encyclical Eagerly Awaited

    06/12/2015 6:47:12 PM PDT · by marshmallow · 2 replies
    Corinth, 55 A.D.Next week sees the publication of a new encyclical, provisionally entitled 1 Corinthians; since the Holy Father (Peter) is rather busy with audiences, travels, and photo-opportunities at the moment, it is believed that the encyclical has been mostly drafted by a very senior colleague, probably Cardinal Paul. Cardinal Paul, with the draft encyclical.So what shall we see in the new encyclical? Will it refer to climate change on the Sea of Galilee, to the man who sowed a crop of wheat only to find that his enemy sowed biofuels among it, or to wind farms near Jerusalem? No,...
  • Do-It-Yourself Impressive Theological Constructs

    06/04/2015 6:55:02 PM PDT · by Gamecock · 9 replies
  • If Pauls Epistle to the Galatians was Published in Christianity Today

    06/03/2015 7:21:59 AM PDT · by Gamecock · 66 replies
    LETTERS TO THE EDITOR Dear Christianity Today: In response to Paul D. Apostles article about the Galatian church in your January issue, I have to say how appalled I am by the unchristian tone of this hit piece. Why the negativity? Has he been to the Galatian church recently? I happen to know some of the people at that church, and they are the most loving, caring people Ive ever met. Phyllis Snodgrass; Ann Arbor, MI Dear Editor: How arrogant of Mr. Apostle to think he has the right to judge these people and label them accursed. Isnt that...
  • Mysterious Red Mark Beneath Painting of Crucified Christ ... Leads Pastor to Speculate on Jesus' ...

    06/02/2015 10:51:35 AM PDT · by Red Badger · 34 replies ^ | June 2, 2015|7:57 am | By Stoyan Zaimov , Christian Post Reporter
    FULL TITLE: Mysterious Red Mark Beneath Painting of Crucified Christ at Newport Church Leads Pastor to Speculate on Jesus' Presence ********************************************************************************* Mysterious red stain beneath painting of Jesus at St. John the Evangelist Church in Newport leads to speculation of holy presence in May 2015. A narrow red stain that has remained for years beneath a painting of a crucified Christ at the Saint John the Evangelist church in Newport, Rhode Island, has led the church's pastor to speculate on its possible meaning and the presence of Jesus. Providence Journal reported on Monday that the 140-year-old Episcopal church has recently...
  • Today's Toons 6/2/15

    06/02/2015 3:25:03 AM PDT · by pookie18 · 10 replies
    The Right Reasons ^ | 6/2/15 | pookie18
    Click on link.
  • Ireland Approves Reentry Of Snakes Into Country By Popular Vote (satire?)

    05/27/2015 9:07:02 AM PDT · by markomalley · 5 replies
    Ireland overwhelmingly approved a referendum to allow snakes back in the country on Saturday, becoming the first country in the world to allow such a move by popular vote. Though the final tally is yet unknown, the referendum achieved the support of an estimated 65 percent of the population. Michael Fitzpatrick, prominent supporter of the H##l No campaign, conceded the referendums defeat Saturday morning. It is a said day now that Ireland has approved reentry of paganism, Fitzpatrick said, explaining how, although snakes have never actually existed in Ireland, that the referendum would now allow the pagans, which he believed...
  • Why I am No Longer a Dispensationalist

    05/22/2015 4:54:44 PM PDT · by OK Sun · 934 replies
    Credo House ^ | May 21, 2015 | C. Michael Patton
    My Dispensational Upbringing I have been taught Dispensationalism from my mothers womb. I was born in a dispensational environment. It was assumed at my church to be a part of the Gospel. There was never another option presented. It made sense. It helped me put together the Scriptures in a way that cleared up so much confusion. And, to be honest, the emphasis on the coming tribulation, current events that prove the Bibles prophecy, the fear that the Antichrist may be alive today (who is he?) was all quite exciting. But what might be the biggest attraction for me...
  • ASK FATHER: The proper way for women to wear a chapel veil?

    05/20/2015 4:00:09 PM PDT · by markomalley · 24 replies
    WDTPRS ^ | 5/20/15 | Fr. John Zuhlsdorf
    From a readerQUAERITUR: I have noticed at the Traditional Latin Mass I attend that the women cover their heads with their veils once their sit down in their pews. [?!?] I was told by a friend that the norm years ago was that women veiled their heads before their entered the church and took off their veils once they stepped out of church, not once they sat down in their pews. [!] Which is the proper way for women who veil their heads? Are the women who veil once they enter their pews doing anything wrong? Should the priest(s) address...
  • Tonight's the Night!

    05/05/2015 8:33:20 PM PDT · by OK Sun · 5 replies
    The Dry Bones Blog ^ | Wednesday, May 06, 2015 | Yaakov Kirschen
    Not sure what this holiday is all about?Well, according to The Torah teaches that "the Jewish people are obligated to count the days from the second night of Passover to the day before Shavu'ot - a total of exactly seven full weeks or 49 days. This period is known as the Omer, in reference to the biblical omer which meant a unit of measure. On the second day of Passover, in the days of the Temple, an omer of barley was cut down and brought to the Temple as an offering. The counting is intended to remind us...
  • Mamma Mia Perfectly in Gods Design, as Seen in a Short Video (Think Mother's Day)

    05/02/2015 6:58:31 AM PDT · by Salvation · 8 replies
    Archdiocese of Washington ^ | 05-02-15 | Msgr. Charles Pope
    Mamma Mia – Perfectly in God’s Design, as Seen in a Short Video By: Msgr. Charles PopeNancy Pope and Charlie Pope 1961My mother died a little more than ten years ago, quite tragically and suddenly. At first her presence seemed so far away, her soothing voice with its gentle mid-western accent, gone. But then about six months ago, in my heart and deep in my thoughts, I had a sense that suddenly she moved closer to me. Perhaps her purgation was at an end, or perhaps some roadblock in my own heart moved. But there she was, and once...
  • [Satire] New App Allows User To Locate Where Least Crappy Homily Going To Be Delivered In Area

    04/29/2015 2:27:18 AM PDT · by markomalley · 10 replies
    The Vatican announced this morning that they have launched CrapHom, a new app for iPhone and Android that allows Catholics to view which local parishes will have the lamest homilies and which will have the least lame homilies.As everyone knows, the whole point of the homily is to instruct and uplift the faithful, but since thats nearly impossible these days, this will at least give a user the option of not being scandalized during the homily, a Vatican spokesman told EOTT this morning. The point of the app is to allow parishioners the luxury of getting to hear the least...
  • Vatican Approves New Emoji Translation Of Mass [satire]

    04/09/2015 6:02:01 PM PDT · by markomalley · 5 replies
    The Vatican announced today that Pope Francis has approved a new emoji translation of the Mass to help young adults more actively follow along during church services.Weve found that most young adults can no longer read complete sentences or even complete words, said Vatican spokesman Ronaldo Bernini, going to say that the minority of young adults that can read, cannot do so fast enough to keep up with the blistering pace of the Mass. We still have some work to do before the final version comes out. Weve hired over one hundred teenagers to look over the new missal...
  • Praying of the Rosary Is NOT Bible-Based Teaching

    03/24/2015 8:06:07 AM PDT · by RnMomof7 · 927 replies
    The Disciplers ^ | 2011 | Ptr. Vince
    Praying The Rosary Is Not Biblical, And Is A Form Of Idolatry Just last Sunday, a local newspaper paper released an article teaching that the praying of the Holy Rosary is Bible-based. In the first two paragraphs, the writer admittedly says that there is no passage in the Bible teaching nor mentioned about the praying of Rosary. However, in the following paragraphs, the writer justified the praying of the Rosary basing it on the repetition of historical events of some Bible characters (like Gideon as he mentioned) about Israels history. I dont know if the writer of this article did...
  • Feast of the Enunciation? [Christian Churches Celebrate 'Feast of The Enunciation' on March 25th]

    03/25/2015 7:26:59 AM PDT · by Alex Murphy · 5 replies
    WWN, by way of The Waffling Anglican ^ | November 28, 2006 | Mike The Greek
    I miss the Weekly World News! It stands headand-shoulders above the rest of the tabloids for sheer exuberance and hilarity. Other tabloids waste their time and efforts on Brangelina and Brittany Spears stories, while WWW sticks with the straight "news" of alien cab drivers and three-headed chihuahuas. At various times, I have purchased subscriptions to WWW for my old lab boss, so it would come proudly addressed to his faculty mail box, and for one of the Major Consulting Firm partners so it would be delivered in his name to the front desk at the office. Rediscovered last spring on...