Informative explanation, thank you pastor. We Catholics would heartily concur with the criteria of sacraments as being instituted by God and being visible signs. Whence this criteria about "each delivers the forgiveness Christ won for us on the cross" though? Obviously, with that criteria it makes sense why matrimony would not be considered a sacrament by Lutherans...but I'm curious about how that criteria came to be held as definitive...it's one we don't share.
The central question has to do with the proper distinction of the Law and the Gospel. Is the big thing about the Sacraments what *we* (priest, pre-Vatican II; people, post-Vatican II) are doing for God (i.e., Law) or is the big thing what *God* is doing for us, freely, for Christ's sake (i.e., Gospel)?
This is a huge question, and I don't really have the time right now to get into it in depth. But this is a brief way of getting at the heart of the matter.