You wrote:
“How about, “Some men in fancy robes way long ago made a bunch of complicated rules to keep themselves in power,...”
What power were the martyrs and saints seeking?
“...and tradition matters to us more than the simplicity of God’s plan,”
If it’s so simple, then why can’t even Protestants fully agree on what it is or how exactly it works? Just think of infant baptism. Is it necessary? Is it effectual? Is there grace involved in it? Now gather ten Protestants together from ten different denominations (something that can be done on almost any street in America) and have them hash out things on infant baptism. You won’t see a whole lot of unity on these issues. Simple plan?
“...and all the rigamarole makes us feel good,”
Rigamarole to make us feel good? So truth is irrelevant now?
“...and it would be terribly upsetting to just follow scripture, so leave us alone?”
We follow scripture. We wrote it under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit after all. Your sect on the other hand is a recent man-made creation. You could learn from the Church sent by Christ - but not with such hatred in your heart.
Discuss the issues all you want, but do not make it personal.