Muslims are the top card in God trumps

Top trumps appears to have suddenly become the in thing in the world of religion. It used to be ferraris and lamborghinis.

Now a Christian version of Top Trumps, called Testament Trumps, has been released, apparently to help children learn more about biblical characters. And not to be outdone, the humanists have also launched their own version of Top Trumps, called God Trumps.

A pack has been sent to me from the New Humanist magazine, and it’s brilliantly satirical, as you’d expect. With the caricatures by the Guardian’s excellent cartoonist, Martin Rowson, it pitches Catholics against Anglicans and pagans against Mormons.

It goes without saying that the Anglicans, represented by a jam-holding woman cleric who looks suspiciously like June Osborne, the dean of Salisbury, are thumped by the Catholics, beaten in every category, from age and wealth to follower dedication and daffiest doctrine.

In fact the Church of England, whose followers are summed up as “hobbyists, hedge-betters, people who like a song on a Sunday morning”, is one of the worst cards in the whole pack. It is the Reliant Robin of the religion world. Only the Rastafarians fare worse.

Although it’s debatable whether scoring high is actually that desirable, particularly when it comes to daffiest doctrine.

Born again Christians come top in this category for their belief in the Rapture, when they believe Jesus will return with trumpets, a gathering of saints etc. They score 10 out of 10 along with scientologists, Jehovah’s witnesses, and Sunni and Shia muslims.

Rather unsurprisingly, secularists are deemed to have the least daffy doctrine, which is “no rules, just individual morality”. Their weapon of choice is “logic, reason, science, sarcasm and Dawkins”, which scores a healthy 7 out of 10, only being beaten by born again Christians with their “threats

It’s sad how unloving people can be, even those who claim to believe that Jesus was at least a wise man. When I was young I used to love mocking. It made me feel powerful. I tend to think now that in reality, mockery enslaves the mocker. I’m trying to grow up, and I am trying to break the habit. You might do good to try as well.

Mockery "enslaves" the mocker? That's a wee bit hyperbolic, don't you think? In any case, mockery (when done well) doesn't make me feel powerful, it simply amuses me. That being the case, I see no need to stop mocking things on occasion.

I think the mockers whom you admire haven’t done what you say they have. There are plenty of idol worshippers they haven’t mocked. But then again, there are plenty of idol worshippers. I think Elijah did a better job mocking some of them. If there is such a thing. But plenty suffered at Elijah’s hands. Jesus really is the only way.

A quick estimate off the top of my head is that the 24 cards in this set cover at least 90% of the world's religions (as an overall percentage of adherents). The only ones I can think of that they missed of any significance would be Taoists and Shintos. Just who are these "idol worshippers" of which you speak?

I don't understand the significance of Elijah in this context, but I'm not overly familiar with the Old Testament.

It’s sad to see someone like you try to cut the sacred out of the story of their lives. It leaves so much out. The things you thirst and hunger for can only be found in the spaces you have left.

How exactly does my being amused by these cards cut the sacred out of anyone's life? For that matter, what is it you're speaking of for which I'm thirsting and hungering?

God bless you. I hope you do better than Bono.

The singer? I'm afraid you've lost me again, I don't see the relevance in this context.

I'm sorry, I thought from your tone and condescension that you might be somewhat educated.

Well, let's see. I'm well versed in mathematics, world affairs, politics, science, military history (just for starters)...but not being overly familiar with Old Testament mythology disqualifies me from being even "somewhat" educated?

Seems incredible to me that someone would make a decision to mock the King of the Universe and His servants without actually knowing what he is talking about.

You're certainly free to believe that Christ is the "King of the universe", but please note that not believing in someone's religion is not the same as mocking it.

For that matter, if you can't recognize the idol worship all around you, you probably don't know the "New" Testament all that well either.

You asserted that the authors were ignoring vast numbers of "idol worshipers". I pointed out that the religions which they covered included well over 90% of humanity, which you did not dispute. While I grant you I don't know the "New" (why the quotes in this case?) Testament all that well, why should I? I'm not a Christian. I'm also not a Muslim, Mormon, Hindu, or Confucianist...so I don't know the Qur'an, the Book of Mormon, the Vedas, or the Five Classics of Confucianism all that well. Should I?

Do you?

All men hunger for bread and thirst for water.

Fair enough. I'm with you so far on this one...

The only bread that sustains the flesh is the Word of God,

Sorry, simply not true objectively. I've eaten bread (white, wheat, etc.) many a time, and it's sustained me quite satisfactorily.

and only Living Water satisfies forever.

Even after proton decay has rendered the question moot?

These are Jesus.

Again, you have every right to believe that.

You still haven't found what you are looking for, but He has found you. Turn and find Him. Bless You.

You still haven't answered a bunch of my questions:
1) How does mockery "enslave" the mocker?
2) Just who are these multitude of "idol worshipers" who aren't covered by the 24 cards in question?
3) What does Elijah have to do with any of this?
4) What does Bono have to do with any of this?
5) How exactly does my being amused by these cards cut the sacred out of anyone's life?
6) What am I looking for that I haven't found? It can't be Christ, because I'm not a Christian and I'm not looking for him.

Uh, yes.

You're certainly free to believe that Christ is the "King of the universe", but please note that not believing in someone's religion is not the same as mocking it.

No, but calling the resurrection daffy is. And "Christ" is what He is, not His last name. Are you afraid of saying "Jesus?"

There is only one set of Scriptures that are true, and they all point to Jesus the Christ, whether before the Gospels or after. Again, I would think you would want to be informed before you mock the King of the Universe.

Sorry, simply not true objectively. I've eaten bread (white, wheat, etc.) many a time, and it's sustained me quite satisfactorily.

Those that know you better than me would probably argue that point. Ask the ones that aren't afraid of your need to always be right. One day your bread will grow stale and moldy, with the smell of death.

Even after proton decay has rendered the question moot?

Some might define that as the end of time, or, forever. But once you join the eternal you do not thirst, and Jesus is the only way to join that party. But to my eye, the day of the Lord looks more like the sun going nova (if we use that kind of language).

1) How does mockery "enslave" the mocker?

Do you not see the bars of your own prison? Don't you want real, meaningful relationships based on irrational, passionate love? Don't you want someone to really care about you, even if you were to lose all your wonderful reason and knowledge and science? You must be terrified of getting Alzheimers.

2) Just who are these multitude of "idol worshipers" who aren't covered by the 24 cards in question?

Look all around you. For God's sake, we use it as a compliment now, a goal to be aspired.

3) What does Elijah have to do with any of this?

Oh, please, are you that dull? Do you really think Jesus would have killed the prophets of Baal? Why then does he tell us to leave the weeds alone? Ripping them out harms the harvester. Really, did I have to explain that?

4) What does Bono have to do with any of this

Even he knows who the author of life is, but he still hasn't found what he's looking for.

5) How exactly does my being amused by these cards cut the sacred out of anyone's life?

By itself it doesn't. But if you were so inclined, I imagine you'd read Jefferson's Bible.

6) What am I looking for that I haven't found? It can't be Christ, because I'm not a Christian and I'm not looking for him.

And you profess to be well-versed in science? Even Heisenberg would tell you that you can't measure something you aren't looking at.

Mock away, scoffer, but should you ever look, you will wonder and be amazed. God will do something for you that you would not believe, even if I told you.

Uh, yes.

99% of Japanese people are non-Christian. Presumably, the vast majority of these are not overly familiar with Old Testament mythology. By your definition, some 99% of Japanese are by definition not even somewhat educated.

That's just silly.

No, but calling the resurrection daffy is. And "Christ" is what He is, not His last name. Are you afraid of saying "Jesus?"

Believing that Athena sprung fully grown from the head of Zeus is daffy, but my saying that doesn't mock Greek mythology. It simply recognizes that the story was written by the people of that time.

Google "Jesus Christ". It gets 148 million hits. It's simply a common way of referring to the man. And by the way...

Jesus.

Hm...I don't seem to be afraid. Do I get a cookie?

You're certainly free to believe that your set of Scriptures are true, just as believers of other Scriptures are. If I believed that Jesus the Christ was the king of the universe, I'd certainly bring a different attitude to this discussion. Since I don't...

Sorry, simply not true objectively. I've eaten bread (white, wheat, etc.) many a time, and it's sustained me quite satisfactorily.

Those that know you better than me would probably argue that point.

And your basis for knowing this is...what, exactly? Let me assure you that if I asked anyone who knew me well "Does white & wheat bread sustain me satisfactorily?" the answer would be "Um...sure. Why wouldn't it?"

Ask the ones that aren't afraid of your need to always be right.

Since you (apparently) know me so well, please let me know which of my friends are afraid of my need to always be right.

Just as an aside, what's wrong with wanting (but not anticipating) to always be right?

One day your bread will grow stale and moldy, with the smell of death.

Then I'll throw it out and buy some new bread. Problem solved!

Even after proton decay has rendered the question moot?

Some might define that as the end of time, or, forever.

Proton decay (assuming it even occurs, it's debatable at this point) will result in a lack of baryonic matter by 10 to the 100th years from now (or so). Not forever, but a heck of a long time! For a fun read on the subject, I recommend "The Five Ages of the Universe: Inside the Physics of Eternity" by Fred Adams and Greg Laughlin.

But once you join the eternal you do not thirst, and Jesus is the only way to join that party. But to my eye, the day of the Lord looks more like the sun going nova (if we use that kind of language).

Unless, of course, you're wrong and the Muslims are right. Or the Buddhists. Or the Hindus. Or the atheists. Or...

1) How does mockery "enslave" the mocker?

Do you not see the bars of your own prison?

Er...no, sorry.

Don't you want real, meaningful relationships based on irrational, passionate love?

How does enjoying the occasional bit of mockery prevent such a relationship from occurring?

Don't you want someone to really care about you, even if you were to lose all your wonderful reason and knowledge and science?

I already have people who really care about me in this way. They're called friends and family. None of whom are Christians, for what it's worth.

You must be terrified of getting Alzheimers.

It's a creepy disease, but I'm certainly not "terrified" of it. Why are you certain that I'm so scared of it?

2) Just who are these multitude of "idol worshipers" who aren't covered by the 24 cards in question?

Look all around you. For God's sake, we use it as a compliment now, a goal to be aspired.

Who. Exactly. Are. They. I pointed out that the cards covered well over 90% of people, and you didn't disagree.

3) What does Elijah have to do with any of this?

Oh, please, are you that dull?

Christian attitude noted :-)

Do you really think Jesus would have killed the prophets of Baal? Why then does he tell us to leave the weeds alone? Ripping them out harms the harvester. Really, did I have to explain that?

Yes. You do. What part of "I'm not a Christian and I'm not familiar with the Bible" didn't I make clear? I knew Elijah was a Biblical-sounding name, but that's it. I didn't go to Sunday School. I've only been in a church a half-dozen times in my life (I have to admit The Vatican was really cool). When you discuss Elijah's gardening techniques, you're speaking of something with which I'm simply not familiar.

4) What does Bono have to do with any of this

Even he knows who the author of life is, but he still hasn't found what he's looking for.

Well, if you say so. You evidently know the man better than I do. I confess I don't follow pop stars all that closely.

5) How exactly does my being amused by these cards cut the sacred out of anyone's life?

By itself it doesn't. But if you were so inclined, I imagine you'd read Jefferson's Bible.

And how would my reading Jefferson's Bible cut the sacred out of anyone's life? Mind you, if I were inclined to read the Bible I'd prefer reading the unexpurgated version. Reading Jefferson's Bible would be like reading The Iliad with all the parts about Gods taken out. The fantastic elements and mythology are the whole point of the Bible.

6) What am I looking for that I haven't found? It can't be Christ, because I'm not a Christian and I'm not looking for him.

And you profess to be well-versed in science? Even Heisenberg would tell you that you can't measure something you aren't looking at.

You're asserting that the Heisenberg uncertainty principle proves that I'm looking for Christ?

That's certainly...novel, to say the least.

Mock away, scoffer, but should you ever look, you will wonder and be amazed. God will do something for you that you would not believe, even if I told you.

Do you not mock and scoff every religion in the world except your own? We're in agreement when it comes to 99% of the world's religions. You simply disbelieve in one less than I do.

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