***You reject the Apocrypha not because its miracles are “silly,” but because it isn’t in the Protestant bible.***
Since I have read them I had to get them somewhere. I have a modern print 1611 KJV that has them, a Geneva Bible that has them, and two catholic bibles that have them, and I read them every few years to refresh myself as to why they are irrelivant.
But then I also read “The Lost Books of the Bible”.
They're irrelevant to you because they're not in the "official" Protestant bible. Supernatural phenomena are supernatural phenomena. It's usually Catholics I argue with about that principal, since they believe the "real presence" is the only thing in their bible that is literally true.