Posted on 05/10/2011 7:59:51 AM PDT by Bed_Zeppelin
WASHINGTON, D.C. (Catholic Online) - The pronouncement came from actress Cameron Diaz and psychiatrist Dr. Keith Ablow last week: marriage is a dying institution. It is an old tradition that has now overstayed its welcome and should be thrown out the back door. It doesn't suit us or our world any longer. So they say.
(Excerpt) Read more at catholic.org ...
It seems like I’ve spent my entire adult life married. Not quite that long, but she’s still happily my Shorter Cuter Half™. Marriage is a sacrament, and a gift from God. I treasure it, and pray that all here who are married, do too.
>>Well, I was the honors/AP kid from a broken home. And having had the foundation of my world destroyed, I was determined that my children would never have to endure that.
>>Perhaps Dr. Ablow comes from a subculture where divorce and self-serving parents are the norm, and children grow up never knowing what they have lost.
Excellent, my principal was from a single parent family and worked his butt off to get a free-ride scholarship and now has a Ph.D. in education. Most of these kids, however, end up depressed and forlorn.
Thanks but it truly is strength and grace from God. We’ve literally been through it all. Deaths in the family, sickness, unemployment, etc., and the multitude of temptations that came to each of us. We’re scarred and battle tested but still together. I honestly feel a deeper love for my wife now than I did at the beginning. I feel for those who will never experience this.
There is truth to that. Which is why you HAVE to be very careful.
“I feel for those who will never experience this...”
I do as well. I especially feel sorry for those who tried. I mean really tried, did the right things but were hurt by the other person. Unfortunately, it takes TWO people committed to make it work. Sometimes one isn’t and the other person is left in shambles. To me, that is very sad.
God is Love, God can’t die, Love can’t die.
Quite frankly, one can have the same fears about nearly anything.
I don't think things are so bad -- check http://www.divorcerate.org/
It is frequently reported that the divorce rate in America is 50%. This data is not accurately correct, however, it is reasonably close to actual. The Americans for Divorce Reform estimates that "Probably, 40 or possibly even 50 percent of marriages will end in divorce if current trends continue.", which is actually a projection.....I think the 40% rate is heavily due to multiple marriagesAccording to enrichment journal on the divorce rate in America:
The divorce rate in America for first marriage is 41%
The divorce rate in America for second marriage is 60%
The divorce rate in America for third marriage is 73%
Also, it depends on the mentality of the partners -- for my wife and me divorce is not even on the table, not an option, full stop. For many folks an argument means the big D word. Just put it out of your mind and both should sincerely try to work it out.
Of course, the chance of divorce increases if people don’t share the same religious, moral beliefs.
Would be good for you guys past the Silver Anniversary to give any words of advice to the rest of us!
During a disagreement one of our daughters asked “You’re not getting a divorce are you?”
We laughed, and said no - sometimes we disagree, and we apologized for letting it show in front of them. But it is sad because they see so many of their friends with divorced parents.
We told them that when we got married, divorce was not an option. Things can sometimes be rough, but you work through them. Divorce is not an option for us.
The same daughter, after thinking a bit asked “So did you have to sign the no divorce option before you got married? Or can you do it afterwards?”
More self-esteem. Multi-culturalism has been the norm for much of human existence where the next town had a different culture or maybe even different language and religion. Multi-culturalism means that all cultures have the right to exist and remain (within the bounds of law), and languages can remain (subordinate to national languages of course). And Islam is not a culture....
No one and nothing--not children, not mothers, fathers, sisters, brothers, in-laws, job, hobby, etc.--takes preeminence over my wife. She is allowed to be criticized by others but it had better be done respectfully. Both the wife and husband must know that they have each others' backs. It's a kind of 'us against the world' philosophy.
"For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate."--Mark 10:7-9
Of course, as a teacher, you'll be familiar with the fallacy of post hoc ergo propter hoc.
Nevertheless, I, personally, am convinced that there is indeed a causal link.
Regards,
>>After I started teaching, I noticed that honors/AP classes had mostly kids from 2 parent homes, while regular ed has children from divorced homes. It’s pretty obvious.
>Of course, as a teacher, you’ll be familiar with the fallacy of post hoc ergo propter hoc.
Nevertheless, I, personally, am convinced that there is indeed a causal link.
It would be a post hoc fallacy if there wasn’t numerous studies outlining the distinct disadvantages that children of divorced/single parent homes have.
The biggest problem, however, is “curiosity killing” that occurs in lower-class families:
Suppose a lower, middle and upper-class family all go to the supermarket and the child of each family points to an eggplant and asks what it is:
Lower-class mother’s response - “SHUT UP AND DON’T TOUCH IT!”
Middle-class mother’s response - “It’s an eggplant.”
Upper-class mother’s response - “It’s an eggplant, we ate it in pasta a couple of months ago. Do you want to buy one and make it again this week?”
The difference in these responses is many time what teaches a child to love or hate learning.
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