Posted on 03/20/2012 8:58:09 PM PDT by Colofornian
JOSEPH SMITH: Where am I?
JESUS: Don't you remember? A few seconds ago you were in that jail.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah; but where am I NOW?
JESUS: Don't you remember? Does bang - bang ring a bell?
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh; yeah - that crummy gun I had was about USELESS!
JESUS: I hope you left instructions on how to hold your church together.
JOSEPH SMITH: Dang! I knew there was SOMETHING I was forgetting!
JESUS: Looks like there's a power struggle going on down there.
JOSEPH SMITH: Yeah; there was always SOMEone who wanted the power that I held - especially over the LADIES - wink wink.
JESUS: No need to worry about that now; remember what my friend Matthew wrote down?
JOSEPH SMITH: This? “At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven” (Matthew 22:30)
JESUS: That's it.
JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.
JESUS: Nah - it was right.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh well; it was fun while it lasted. My buds will still get it on with the girls.
JESUS: Uh; I'm sorry; in just a few more years; your followers will cavein to the United States government and abandon the 'Eternal Covenant' that you came up with.
JOSEPH SMITH: ME!? YOU are the one that told me to do that!
JESUS: Sorry; but you must have mistranslated what I told you. What part of Do NOT commit ADULTERY did you not understand?
JOSEPH SMITH: mumble....
JESUS: What did you say?
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, nothing.
JESUS: Well; it was interesting talking to you; but now I must get back to perparing a place for those who believe in Me.
JOSEPH SMITH: Oh, yeah; the Celestial Kingdom.
JESUS: No...
JOSEPH SMITH: The Telestial one?
JESUS: Nope.
JOSEPH SMITH: SUREly not the TERRESTRIAL one!!
JESUS: Nope. Didn't you read that the mind of man had NOT conceived of it? Paul wrote it down in 1 Corinthians 2:9.
JOSEPH SMITH: I thought that was mistranslated.
JESUS: No; it wasn't.
JOSEPH SMITH: You SURE?
JESUS: Yes. Now I must be going: what did you say your name was again?
JOSEPH SMITH: Joseph Smith.
JESUS: Hmmmm. According to my Heavenly FAITHbook, you didn't sign in as one of my friends - sorry, I never knew you.
JOSEPH SMITH: But....
THE BOOK OF JACOB
THE BROTHER OF NEPHICHAPTER 224 Behold, David and Solomon truly had many wives and concubines, which thing was abominable before me, saith the Lord.
25 Wherefore, thus saith the Lord, I have led this people forth out of the land of Jerusalem, by the power of mine arm, that I might raise up unto me a righteous branch from the fruit of the loins of Joseph.
26 Wherefore, I the Lord God will not suffer that this people shall do like unto them of old.
27 Wherefore, my brethren, hear me, and hearken to the word of the Lord: For there shall not any man among you have save it be one wife; and concubines he shall have none;
28 For I, the Lord God, delight in the chastity of women. And whoredoms are an abomination before me; thus saith the Lord of Hosts.
29 Wherefore, this people shall keep my commandments, saith the Lord of Hosts, or cursed be the land for their sakes.
30 For if I will, saith the Lord of Hosts, raise up seed unto me, I will command my people; otherwise they shall hearken unto these things.
31 For behold, I, the Lord, have seen the sorrow, and heard the mourning of the daughters of my people in the land of Jerusalem, yea, and in all the lands of my people, because of the wickedness and abominations of their husbands.
32 And I will not suffer, saith the Lord of Hosts, that the cries of the fair daughters of this people, which I have led out of the land of Jerusalem, shall come up unto me against the men of my people, saith the Lord of Hosts.
Or even HERE:
1 Timothy 3:2-3
2. Now the overseer must be above reproach, the husband of but one wife, temperate, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,
3. not given to drunkenness, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money.1 Timothy 3:12
A deacon must be the husband of but one wife and must manage his children and his household well.Titus 1:6
An elder must be blameless, the husband of but one wife, a man whose children believe and are not open to the charge of being wild and disobedient.
THE
DOCTRINE AND COVENANTS
OF THE CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTSSECTION 13251–57, Emma Smith is counseled (commanded) to be faithful and true; 58–66, Laws governing the plurality of wives are set forth.51 Verily, I say unto you: A commandment I give unto mine handmaid, Emma Smith, your wife, whom I have given unto you, that she stay herself and partake not of that which I commanded you to offer unto her; for I did it, saith the Lord, to aprove you all, as I did Abraham, and that I might require an offering at your hand, by covenant and sacrifice.52 And let mine handmaid, Emma Smith, areceive all those that have been given unto my servant Joseph, and who are virtuous and pure before me; and those who are not pure, and have said they were pure, shall be destroyed, saith the Lord God.53 For I am the Lord thy God, and ye shall obey my voice; and I give unto my servant Joseph that he shall be made ruler over many things; for he hath been afaithful over a few things, and from henceforth I will strengthen him.55 But if she will not abide this commandment, then shall my servant Joseph do all things for her, even as he hath said; and I will bless him and multiply him and give unto him an ahundredfold in this world, of fathers and mothers, brothers and sisters, houses and lands, wives and children, and crowns of beternal lives in the eternal worlds.
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(Obviously you cared enough to comment)
Mathematics isn't your strong suit, is it? "Encourage reproduction" Really?
Let's first review some living examples...and then we'll cite one study on the child-producing effects (or lack thereof) that 19th century polygamy had in the U.S.
Brigham Young had 55 wives & 57 children...figure the averages...Just over 1 child per mom...vs. what the average woman/wife was bearing in the 19th century.
How about Joseph Smith, Jr.? He had children in single-figures...27-33 wives...although reports are that a "Dr. Bennett" aborted many of Smith's pre-borns in Nauvoo.
Now, leaving out the evolutionary crap that a university like Indiana University injected (see link below), the stats bore all this out...that...contrary to common myth, 19th and early 20th century Mormon polygamy actually resulted in less children per mom, not more! Simply put, the more sister-wives a Mormon woman had, the fewer children she was likely to produce. "Although it's great in terms of number of children for successful males to have harems, the data show that for every new woman added to a male's household, the number each wife produced goes DOWN BY ONE CHILD OR SO," said IU Bloomington evolutionary biologist Michael Wade......Wade says, polygamy is a bad thing for most males of a species. "When the ratio of sexes is about equal, for every male that has three mates, there must be two males that have none," Wade said. "If a male has even more mates, then the disparity among male 'reproductive' haves and have-nots can become quite great."
Source: Polygamy hurt 19th century Mormon wives' evolutionary fitness
Sorry. Mormon polygamy was indeed "sexual suicide" (to use a George Gilder term)
The women had one child less than had she married in a one-man, one-woman relationship. And the men? If a man had three wives, as you indicated with your "warrior"/"lost boys" comment, he robbed two men of having a single wife! Zero children then among a great number of men in Mormon culture! Mormon male leaders snuffed out the family lines of many men! [Tell us, how many "kids" and "generations" are produced when you have Heber C. Kimball take 45 wives; Brigham take 55 wives; Smith take anywhere from 27 to 33 to 40 wives...all leaving over 125 men to have NONE????]
All you have to do in reviewing polygamy is to study sex-selection abortion/infanticide in China and India to realize the tremendous parallel negative effects this has had in those cultures! And yes, our children may see those single Chinese "warriors" in their lifetime!
There was a precedent to this...
Benjamin Covey is excommunicated for having sexual intercourse with two girls “less than Twelve years of age” who are his foster daughters. He is re-baptized and serves as bishop of Salt Lake City Twelfth Ward from 22 February 1849 until 1856.
Since the famous Franklin Covey is Lds also...is Franklin a descendent of Benjamin Covey?
I don’t know, never researched it that far.
Pinging reaganaut, Godzilla and cc, maybe they know?
I guess it is probable, since there are only a few founding members in the early LDS Church. We all have our skeletons in our "Mormon ancestor closet." Since mine was caught committing murder and not just boinking little girls, he is our embarrassing ancestor.
Polygamy had its place/time. It did encourage reproduction
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AH actually not so good...
Out of the 40+ women Joey Smith had he only had 4-8 tops extra children if they were his and not the legal “first husband” of his mistresses..
some of the women had no children while they dallied with him...
Out of the more than 50 women Brigham Young had he only had about 80 children..
again some of his girlfriends had no off spring of his...
the rest of the polygammists didnt do that much better...
Even Willard Mitt Romneys own ancestors didnt “reproduce” at that great a rate from their adulterous affairs...
at least 2 of them had 12 women and their total children werent that high...
whereas my own monogomous male ancestors had at least 10 children each at times with only the one woman...a legal wife...
Oh noez
that blows that theory...
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