George was married to Britney Spears? Maybe it only lasted 55 hours because of his eating habits on the honeymoon.
Posted on 11/28/2012 4:08:03 AM PST by rhema
Marriage is just another one of those religious doctrines used to keep peace in the society and provide a sound nurturing environment for raising children.
While it’s a really good religious practice, I’ve tried it three times and I am DONE. Finally met the right one!
About fifteen years ago I did an “experiment” with ten married people I know. I asked them why they got married. The answers I got:
Because we wanted to.
We have a kid.
I don’t know.
I love her (only 1 of these)
If you believe the statement you made in the first sentence, you really should not get married. It isn’t for you.
Marriage is the coming together of two people who intensely love each other,It is a promise to be faithful, and to raise children ,if they come along, in a way to make them good people.
As you grow old together you help each other in so many ways and hope for companionship to the end.
Marriage without intent to form a permanent relationship is not marriage.It’s just a quickie for sexual or financial purposes
While I agree with you in principle, in practice it does not work that way. People used to get married at a much younger age. The primary reason was that most women would not have sex before marriage.
Because many couples got married at 18 they could not have a clue what they would like in 5 or 10 years, but divorce was not an option for many so often a woman who was unhappy or even beaten stayed out of fear. Divorce is far better than staying in a bad relationship for a lifetime. In my opinion we are much better off with the current state, even with its shortcomings.
I would add "viable procreation" to the author's list. I have no problem with any of the items on the list.
Soon? What's this we have now?
Many things are different today.
Today many women work instead of raisng kids and staying home.
While at work they are hit on constantly by men looking for a quick piece, and sooner or later they give it a try. Marriage is down the drain.Many women make more money than their husbands so they can pull out at the first argument.They don’t worry about the kids because they are in daycare and besides that their ex-husband will be raped for child support.
I certainly agree Divorce can sometimes be the best way out, if two people cannot get along, I am not totally against divorce.
Sometimes mistakes are made, sometimes that mistake is a husband or wife that shouldn’t have been married in the first place.
I only stated what marriage should be, not what it often turns out to be.
I will be married 50 years in June 2013, my wife has never feared me, when we argue, if I get mad I leave and ride the motorcycle for a couple of hours and come home and apologise LOL. I worked 3 jobs so she could raise the kids at home, I committed myself to her and she to me.That is marriage, not some trashbag Kardashian who makes porn movies,wears trash outfits and thinks sex is to be passed out to anyone with a penis and money.
These form the FOUNDATION:
1-Similar Values
2-Mutual Respect
3-Mutual Trust
4-True Friendship
These change throughout life, so they can NOT be the foundation:
Communications
Interests
Sex
The thing is that romantic love is routinely considered an emotion. It’s nit. It’s more of a commitment.
As people continue to make that mistake, marriages will fail in significant numbers.
George was married to Britney Spears? Maybe it only lasted 55 hours because of his eating habits on the honeymoon.
We’re not better off by any stretch of the imagination. Your argument presumes that the selfish interests of a few people are more important that the systemic and probably irreversible damage we’ve done to our society. That is a supremely foolish argument, especially when the people suffering from such unhappiness made a free choice of their own volition which led to their state.
I forgot to put the note indicating a sliver of sarcasm in my post. Thanks for your feedback comments.
However, people do grow, some closer to God and some away from. When two people who are on differing paths are married, the one focused upon growing toward God is hindered from growing. Bottom line is, divorce is better than death (notice I used the word death rather than murder). You can’t imagine how many loving Christians there are who feel guilty about wishing their marriage partner who is creating their agony would just die so they could be free from the torture.
Mother who are trying to raise their children in a healthy environment when there is a drug addicted dad is just one example. Sometimes, when we are forced to make decisions, we must do it with tough love to minimize the greater damage.
“I love her (only 1 of these)”
There are many levels of “Love” and they change as people grow.
If a husband says he loves his wife, and she says the same to him, it could mean two or more different things.
She may feel loved as she feels safe and secure.
He may feel loved due to good sex.
She may feel loved as he validates who she is and makes her feel good about herself.
Each of the above will create the same “chemistry” feeling of love at different times throughout an individual’s life.
The real problem is created when only one individual in a marriage grows and not both. They grow apart. I refuse to judge, I just seek to understand and help people who are going through the process.
The number one attraction or connection between souls that creates the strong feeling of Love is:
We are attracted toward individuals whose personality is similar to someone with whom we have an unresolved conflict. The stronger the unresolved conflict, the stronger the attraction toward a similar personality to use as a surrogate. When the unresolved soul issue is resolved within one or both individuals, the attraction is automatically gone between them. I work with this every day.
I’ve had women who were physically beaten by their husbands come to me and ask why they are addicted to their abusive husbands and can’t leave them. One woman who came to me was hospitalized four times due to being severely beaten. Her husband was imprisoned an equal number of times for beating her. I never talked with her about her marriage or her husband. I merely guided her to heal the trauma with her father that occurred when she was four years old. We healed it and the next day she contacts me to ask why her attraction toward her abusive husband is gone. This is the norm and not the exception.
The ideal is that I work with both husband and wife so they can both heal and thus the marriage will survive and grow. But I will never turn one individual away just because their spouse does not want to change.
“These form the FOUNDATION:
1-Similar Values
2-Mutual Respect
3-Mutual Trust
4-True Friendship”
Allow me to add the most important one “Love of God.”
Religion is not needed in the marriage argument. Marriage is an institution protecting children, inheritance, and property rights.
Calling marriage a “religious issue” is a red herring trap which surrenders the ENTIRE debate to the radical left.
logic and reason, without resorting to mere faith, wins this debate every time.
Marriage has always had its origin in religious beliefs, thus my point. It was meant to be a bit sarcastic (but not labeled by me) as most of the ten commandments, such as “Thou shall not kill” has also been a religious law adopted by society. The line is a bit blurry as atheists try to take the church out of the church’s laws in order to twist and change them for their own needs.
Bulls**t. Maybe it was a century ago but not now. Today it is a partnership with the government where you pre authorize a guy in a long black dress to decide how your stuff gets split up after one party lawyers up. The kids get used as pawns by the government, there is no inheritance because the lawyers bleed both sides dry and property rights don't exist in "family" courts. Government has no business sanctioning marriage.
“so they then become attracted to you”
Funny that you say that with the perspective of your screen name namesake, Rashputin! That was his pattern.
I always direct people to find their strength within by looking toward God, never toward me. When they try to find their strength from me, I direct them toward God.
God likes a flat organizational chart. Everyone is to have their own direct connection, never through me or anyone else.
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