Posted on 01/28/2013 10:46:27 AM PST by Laissez-faire capitalist
This may seem like a round about way of dealing with this topic, and it does get your attention, but the scriptures are clear on this (adultery/marital unfaithfulness):
Jesus said that a man would leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and the two would be one flesh.
Jesus also said (Matthew chapter 5) that a man (or woman) may put away their mate for marital unfaithfulness and remarry.
In light of this, since Jesus sanctioned the remarriage, and would not consider the former mate to be the man's wife any longer, this man can be a bishop/overseer (1 Tim Chapter 3), as he would not be the husband of more than one wife, as Jesus sanctioned the remarriage, and would not then consider him to be the husband of two wives.
I believe he would just have to qualify on the verses below,
But when two people marrys it is supposed to be for life and that takes a lot of forgiveness even under the best of circumstances, and how many times does jesus tell us to forgive?
1 This is a true saying, If a man desire the office of a bishop, he desireth a good work.
2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
3 Not given to wine, no striker, not greedy of filthy lucre; but patient, not a brawler, not covetous;
4 One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity;
5 (For if a man know not how to rule his own house, how shall he take care of the church of God?)
sure, if you converted prior to her leaving.
sure, if you converted prior to her leaving.
“Does that go for on-line cheating, or just for physically cheating?”
There’s a difference between fantasy and real life. In time, it will either progress to a full fledged physical romance or it won’t.
well, you’re not going to like this - but since it’s a Christian marriage you’re still married to her.
Then how do you reconcile Paul’s statement, “it is good to be unmarried as I am. An unmarried man can be devoted to God while a married man desires to please his wife.”
Clearly, marriage isn’t a requirment. If you are married - you must have one wife.
Also notice - you must be married before becoming a bishop. You can’t marry after.
It’s not whether I like it or not. She divorced me. She is the equivalent of an ex-girlfriend at this point. I’m not aware of any scripture that makes us “still married”. This was a subject of much discussion between me and my church leaders both during the time I was using them to reconcile the relationship as well as afterward.
I confess that before I was divorced I saw divorced people as second class citizens. My eyes were opened when it was done to me. I was terribly judgemental in those days. Not that I’m perfect now, but I do tend to see even those who wrong me as “disobedient children on the playground”, which is what we all are.
According to #19, adultery has already been committed, even if the two people have never met!
What’s up with that?
Having stuff happen to you personally, can really open one’s eyes.
Well that is just foolishness imho.
Having stuff happen to you personally, can really open one’s eyes.
Yep. I’m 59. I can now see how as people mature they become less judgemental. ;-)
BTW, not all “old” people are mature.
What is there to reconcile? I can see no conflict.
In 1 Corinthians 7:8-9 (from which you quoted an excerpt), Paul is not speaking to married people:
“But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn.”
Verses 32 and following give an explanation of his point. And verses 26-27 sheds some light on the circumstances of the times:
“I suppose therefore that this is good because of the present distress - that it is good for a man to remain as he is: Are you bound to a wife? Do not seek to be loosed. Are you loosed from a wife? Do not seek a wife.”
“According to #19, adultery has already been committed, even if the two people have never met!
What’s up with that?”
I don’t think our definition of lust is what Jesus was talking about. I can look at a pretty woman walking down the street and have an impure thought pop into my head. I don’t think that is what Jesus means. I think we should judge actions. Now if I do not push those thoughts out of my mind, but dwell on them and revel in those thoughts, then that is an action in itself. I have chosen to fantasize about a woman in an impure way.
In the online dating scenario, if you choose to abstain from physical sex, it shows that you are trying, even if its just a little, to honor your marriage vows. Maybe you are 90% sure you want to divorce your wife, but a small part of you is unsure and hence you don’t get physical. I would say that is a good thing to separate thought from action. Otherwise, you could just say the hell with it, we are past the point of no return (because Jesus said we already committed adultery because we thought about it).
I guess what I am doing is separating sinful thoughts from sinful actions. The consequences are much worse when you act on your sinful thoughts than if you did not.
I’m a few years older than you, but I haven’t fully matured in some ways...which I’m thankful for.
Old age and personal crisis can certainly change one’s thinking.
They probably didn’t have much on-line porn back then.
Sounds relative to me.
I’m a few years older than you, but I haven’t fully matured in some ways...which I’m thankful for.
In that vein, I play bass and sing vocals in classic rock bands. ;-)
Easy solution: marry an 18 year old.
Easy solution: marry an 18 year old.
:-)
Actually, I did date, VERY briefly, a girl in her mid-20’s. I felt like she was a child. As it is, I met my wife at my 25th high school reunion. I love being married to my contemporary. She is my best friend.
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