Free Republic
Browse · Search
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Funeral Etiquette: Why Bringing a Funeral Procession through a Burger Drive-thru is a Bad Idea
Archdiocese of Washington ^ | February 1, 2013 | Msgr. Charles Pope

Posted on 02/02/2013 3:23:55 PM PST by NYer

The video below shows “American tacky” in all its glory. A man who loved Burger King dies and his family honors him by taking the funeral procession through the Burger King “drive thru.” Free Burgers for all on the way to the Cemetery, hearse and all.

I’ve seen worse, I have to admit. Probably at the top of the list is and “Funeral Home Drive- thru” where the deceased is actually on display in a window. No need to get out of your car and actually visit the family. No, that’s too much trouble and lacks the kind of convenience we Americans both deserve and expect. No, just drive through and say something cheesy like, “Don’t he look like himself?” Hit the gas and you’re back to your day.

And while I’ve not yet seen it, I am sure it has already happened that there are “Webcam” options for wakes now as well. Just go to the funeral home website, click through on the deceased’s name, choose the webcam option and shazam, there he is with Hammond organ music playing in the background. (Perhaps a special zoom option could be provided too, for closer viewing). And the guest book could be signed “virtually” as if to say, “I virtually made it there (without the inconvenience of leaving here)!” For an additional fee one could either add a flower to a virtual bouquet, or light a virtual vigil candle, saying, “I virtually care.” :-)

But seriously, folks. I think the line that most stands out in the video is where a relative says regarding the Big Mac drive-thru, “It Started as a Joke, and became a reality.” For my money, it should have stayed a joke.

And while I’m not all that worked up about this (people have been doing silly things at funerals forever), I do think that sober reflection is more proper to funerals. Death, while conquered by Christ, remains a moment for sober reflection. It entered the world through sin, and remains a punishment due to sin.

Further, the deceased goes to the Judgement Seat of Christ. And even for the faithful who rightly trust in the Lord’s mercy, our particular judgement is an honest conversation with the Lord. Yes a very HONEST conversation: none of the sweet little lies we like to tell ourselves, none of the papering over of the things we tend to minimize, none of the shifting of responsibilities we so easily do here.

Yes, an honest conversation of which Scripture says, Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account (Heb 4:13). Perhaps too we will not only see our sins, but also be surprised by some of our goodness we never knew, or discounted. But it will be an honest conversation. Of the the judgement of our deceased loved ones, we should ALWAYS pray.

But in too many funerals today all this is thrust aside by corny chatter and often silly remarks about how “Joe is up there now playing poker with St Michael” etc. Sadly too often such remarks even come from clergy.

In all of this balance is required. Strong and confident hope is appropriate on behalf of the faithful who die. But it ought to be balanced with a sober acknowledgement that, even if it brings relief and an end to suffering, death is a very deep mystery, and in the realm of a tragic blow humanity suffered in the wake of sin.

Jesus, even knowing he would raise his friend Lazarus in mere moments, stood before his tomb and was deeply moved (the Greek text says he was brimming with anger) and he wept (cf John 11:33ff).

Purgation is needed – And, given the holiness of God, and the promise given to us of God-like perfection (Matt 5:48) and our present lowly and unseemly state, the strong likelihood for those who do die in grace, is that they must undergo final purification to inherit these promises. And this too balances our behavior, we are confident for the faithful, but vigilant unto their purification.

A final reason for sobriety at funerals is the solemn reminder that we will all die and must properly prepare for death. At funerals I never fail to earnestly preach conversion and preparation for death. This is no time to play around and tell lots of goofy jokes. There are many people at funerals who never come to Church at any other time, and many of them are in very serious sin, and in a very degraded spiritual condition, they are, plainly, in great danger of Hell. If I am going to reach them, I have to do it then.

I plea at every funeral for all of us to be serious about preparing for death and judgment. I remind us all of the many warnings of the Lord himself in this regard. An old song says, Sinner please don’t let this harvest pass, and die, and lose your soul at last.

So there, some pastoral reflections elicited by a video. I mean no harm to the family involved. But pastorally this sort of stuff is to be avoided. Funerals need not be times of utter gloom, but neither should they display a forgetfulness that death is ultimately a very serious matter. And even death when it brings relief suffering, it opens the door to a judgement about which we should be prayerfully sober.

Going through burger stands (or telling goofy stories in homilies etc. ) is probably a bad idea that helps neither the deceased nor the rest of us maintain the poise, the balance that is appropriate, a balance that, at the death of the faithful I would describe as sober and prayerful confidence.

Man given a Whopper of a funeral - YouTube Video

TOPICS: Catholic; Current Events; Prayer; Religion & Culture
KEYWORDS: death; funeral; funerals; jesus; msgrcharlespope; salvation; sanctification; theology

1 posted on 02/02/2013 3:24:04 PM PST by NYer
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: netmilsmom; thefrankbaum; Tax-chick; GregB; saradippity; Berlin_Freeper; Litany; SumProVita; ...

Speechless, ping!

2 posted on 02/02/2013 3:25:06 PM PST by NYer ("Before I formed you in the womb I knew you." --Jeremiah 1:5)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

True story: When my Grandfather died we had a long drive from the church to the cemetery. On route Grandma had to go potty.
The message was sent to the hearse driver to stop ASAP. He immediately took the first right turn off. The whole procession went through a beer drive through. It made our trip quite memorable because, they were of course, tee totallers.

3 posted on 02/02/2013 3:34:06 PM PST by pnut22
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 2 | View Replies]

To: NYer

I’m not too worked up over it [though, the writer is correct in describing it as tacky]. Save the Burger King for the wake. A little solemnity isn’t bad.

4 posted on 02/02/2013 3:35:28 PM PST by BfloGuy (Money, like chocolate on a hot oven, was melting in the pockets of the people.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

If the family and friends thought that was appropriate to farewell their loved one, so be it. Everyone deals with loss differently. At my fathers funeral I arranged for his favorite football teams theme song to be played as we wheeled his coffin out.

To each their own.

5 posted on 02/02/2013 3:36:23 PM PST by Figure11 (There's nothing an agnostic can't do if he doesn't know whether he believes in it or not.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer; AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Berosus; bigheadfred; Bockscar; ColdOne; ...


6 posted on 02/02/2013 3:43:31 PM PST by SunkenCiv (Romney would have been worse, if you're a dumb ass.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: NYer
Call me old-fashioned, hidebound or a mossback, but I think the tone of a funeral cortege should be somber. I think the trip to the cemetery should be done in a dignified manner in keeping with the seriousness of the event - a soul has departed and is Judgment bound, for eternal Salvation or Damnation.

In funerals of members my own family, I have been shocked at the barbarity some people show to a passing cortege. In my grandmother's funeral in 1983, we had a drive from suburban New Jersey to Fernwood Cemetery in Lansdowne, PA. Passing over the Walt Whitman Bridge, we were assaulted by more than a few drivers who broke the cortege to make it to the tollbooth. At my Aunt's funeral, one of my cousins was rammed by a person who erupted out of a side road while we were passing. We had our lights on and purple funeral banners on each vehicle. My cousin was unable to make it the the cemetery as a result.

At my father's funeral , on the way to Arlington National Cemetery, our cortege was separated by by a crossing vehicle that failed to yield even though he had been sitting at the light as the hearse passed.

It is apparent that in this country, at least, there is no respect for the dead or for funerary ritual. I suppose it won't be long before we have violence at funerals like they do in the Islamic world.

Keep Faith with the Fallen of Benghazi! Let the Obama Regime, for once, tell the Truth!

Fiat Justitia, Ruat Coelum!

Genuflectimus non ad principem sed ad Principem Pacis!

Listen, O isles, unto me; and hearken, ye people, from far; The LORD hath called me from the womb; from the bowels of my mother hath he made mention of my name. (Isaiah 49:1 KJV)

7 posted on 02/02/2013 4:09:32 PM PST by ConorMacNessa (HM/2 USN, 3/5 Marines RVN 1969 - St. Michael the Archangel defend us in Battle!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Doesn’t bother me in the slightest. The funniest thing my Dad ever did was at his funeral... he was a major rebel, and if he’d lived long enough to endure Clinton, he would have been in a “compound” somewhere in Idaho.

Mom had him creamated and we carried the urn out to the grave site... a little square box... and they had dug a round hole. We about died laughing.

8 posted on 02/02/2013 4:14:40 PM PST by Tijeras_Slim
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

America has sadly become a nation of puppets and fools controlled mostly by media, Hollywood, and other connected big money and political interests.

We tend to blame it all on politics, but the reality is we should blame it upon our own stupidity and gullibility. There is no longer any skepticism about what we are told and how we are herded as puppets by the political elite.

9 posted on 02/02/2013 4:14:59 PM PST by apoliticalone
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: ConorMacNessa

I appreciate your views.

Since you didn’t know this person and that family perhaps you should keep that in mind.

My FIL just passed. One of his favorite songs was “My Ding-a-ling”. It was played during the ceremony addendum to a family photo presentation. He had a great sense of humor. He also volunteered 30 years of free time in youth athletics. Many times paying for fees from his own pocket to make sure kids had that chance to play.

There were some people offended by that song in a church. And all of us pall bearers wore referee shirts to carry him away. It was his life. It ended HIS WAY.

10 posted on 02/02/2013 4:28:40 PM PST by bigheadfred
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 7 | View Replies]

To: NYer
When my Dad passed away both of my brothers flew in to NJ at the Jersey Shore. My oldest brother was somewhat drug addled.

I was at the time a Volunteer Fireman, and my father was a retired Jersey City Fire Captain.

My Company of Volunteer Fire brothers were out of respect told they would attend the wake in full uniform, and they did.

My middle brother and myself had convinced the older one that they might try to steal the body for an Irish Wake. He stood guard behind the casket for two days.

We're of Polish descent.

11 posted on 02/02/2013 4:30:25 PM PST by Focault's Pendulum (I live in NJ....I want a bailout!!!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

12 posted on 02/02/2013 4:39:10 PM PST by RedMDer (HEY LIBS! GUN FREE ZONE T-SHIRTS AVAILABLE NOW. I DARE YA!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: NYer

Attended a furneral for a very beloved parishoner at my parish church. One of the things he would do at the social after the monthly children’s Sunday mass was give to both children and adults baseball cards, saying it will get valuable one day. He did the coffee, tea, hot chocolate, and juices for the kids. To honor his memory I had worn a sweatshirt from the 2007 Red Soxs World Series championship. I was one of those adults who would get baseball cards from him.

13 posted on 02/02/2013 4:50:06 PM PST by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Note to author: You don’t refer to “Big Mac”s at a Burger King, that’s kind of like genufleting in a Baptist Church.

14 posted on 02/02/2013 4:50:44 PM PST by Dr. Sivana ("C'est la vie" say the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell. -- Chuck Berry)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer

Having been through funerals of parents and in-laws I agree that as a private person funerals are a very personal affairs and unusual requests should never be open to criticism from outsiders. Why did the media feel a need to report this?

America at large has been hoodwinked into turning against each other by those elites who pretend to defend our rights and interests. They are defending only those who pay them.

15 posted on 02/02/2013 4:53:52 PM PST by apoliticalone
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows

Slumming while alive, slumming while dead.

16 posted on 02/02/2013 4:56:52 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: NYer; a fool in paradise; Slings and Arrows

17 posted on 02/02/2013 4:57:32 PM PST by Revolting cat! (Bad things are wrong! Ice cream is delicious!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Revolting cat!

I like that cartoon. Also a reminder that we have six weeks left of winter.

18 posted on 02/02/2013 5:00:22 PM PST by Biggirl ("Jesus talked to us as individuals"-Jim Vicevich/Thanks JimV!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: NYer

I don’t know if there is Burger King in Heaven, but there must be Hardees. And Whataburger.

19 posted on 02/02/2013 5:00:55 PM PST by Larry Lucido
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Biggirl

That “parishioner” was teaching worldly wealth vs heavenly wealth. God Bless Him.

20 posted on 02/02/2013 5:01:23 PM PST by eyedigress ((zOld storm chaser from the west)/?)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 13 | View Replies]

To: Dr. Sivana; NYer

Note to author: You don’t refer to “Big Mac”s at a Burger King, that’s kind of like genufleting in a Baptist Church. >>

that mistake was a big whopper!

21 posted on 02/02/2013 7:57:18 PM PST by Coleus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794 is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson