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Calvin grads dominate pastors draft
Lark news ^

Posted on 11/08/2013 8:23:18 AM PST by Gamecock

COLORADO SPRINGS — Big names and big surprises converged before a nationwide audience at the Pastors Draft this season.

“I’ve been waiting a long time for this,” said Alvin DeWalt, 26, of Fuller Seminary, pacing his apartment in Pasadena and watching the draft on the Daystar network.

His wife had made guacamole, and thirty friends were on hand to see which church picked DeWalt, one of this year’s top ranked prospects.

In the first round, Geoff Parsons and Rick Benson, of Westminster and Calvin seminaries respectively, went first, as scouts had predicted they would. Parsons heads to a struggling mid-sized Methodist church in Memphis, Tenn., which had the top pick this year. Benson was drafted by a mega-church in Casper, Wyo., which had traded two mid-career pastors for a higher pick. Both draftees say they are ready to “help their teams.”

Calvin Seminary overall showed surprising strength, placing two dozen graduates at leading churches around the country, plus sending many more to minor league ministries. Of the Big 10 schools, last year’s leaders, Dallas and Asbury, showed less strength. Both call this a “building year” and say next year’s classes will be much stronger. Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and Westminster say they were “pleased” with how many grads they placed in respectable positions.

The mammoth North Shore Christian Church of Reston, Va., selected wildcard rookie Pat Jameson, who has struggled with morality issues, but is still considered a major league talent. Jameson, speaking at a press conference wearing a North Shore polo shirt and cap, told reporters he was “ready to make a clean start.”

Church on the Rock (Houston, Texas), known for scooping up mid- and late-career pastors at low salaries and getting impressive results, traded a first-round pick for two associate pastors with “executive pastor potential” according to a widely respected scouting report.

A number of pastors near retirement entered the free agent market, having been traded for early-career pastors.

“They’ll miss my experience in the pulpit,” says one elderly pastor who was traded for two rookies and a youth pastor.

One highly watched rookie, David Humphreys of Luther Seminary, went lower than expected, due to what many consider unreasonable demands including an outsized automobile budget and eight weeks of “sabbatical” per year.

DeWalt of Fuller Seminary was picked even higher than he expected by a Florida church which is “transitioning to a purpose-driven model” after years of stagnation. He slumped on the couch, smiling as friends congratulated him.

“I’m just happy it’s over,” he said. •


TOPICS: General Discusssion; Humor
KEYWORDS:

1 posted on 11/08/2013 8:23:18 AM PST by Gamecock
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To: Gamecock

I’m appalled.!


2 posted on 11/08/2013 8:30:28 AM PST by knarf (I say things that are true .. I have no proof .. but they're true.)
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To: Gamecock
There are some 41,000 Christian denominations now, according to Google.

From the Internet: This is not a complete list, but aims to provide a comprehensible overview of the diversity among denominations of Christianity. As there are reported to be approximately 41,000 Christian denominations, many of which cannot be verified to be significant, only those denominations with Wikipedia articles will be listed in order to ensure that all entries on this list are notable and verifiable.

I wonder what former-Catholic Father Martin Luther would say now about his 95 theses? I think he would mourn.

3 posted on 11/08/2013 8:32:03 AM PST by cloudmountain
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To: knarf

Calvin is a force to be reckoned with, I expect them to dominate next year!


4 posted on 11/08/2013 8:32:17 AM PST by Gamecock (Many Atheists take the stand: "There is no God AND I hate Him.")
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To: Gamecock

No Minister of Music to be named later???


5 posted on 11/08/2013 8:33:07 AM PST by gov_bean_ counter (Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools)
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To: Gamecock

Wouldn’t the Calvin Award winner normally be drafted first anyway? Unless churches are drafting for specific need rather than simply taking the best available. Apparently God knew their draft position before He founded the universe, eh?


6 posted on 11/08/2013 8:34:24 AM PST by Hebrews 11:6 (Do you REALLY believe that (1) God IS, and (2) God IS GOOD?)
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To: Gamecock

OK .. this IS about seminary graduates getting a pastorate .. right ?


7 posted on 11/08/2013 8:34:27 AM PST by knarf (I say things that are true .. I have no proof .. but they're true.)
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To: Hebrews 11:6

OK, there has to be a joke about a Hail Mary in here somewhere...


8 posted on 11/08/2013 8:36:23 AM PST by gov_bean_ counter (Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools)
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To: gov_bean_ counter

They’re Calvinists, not Catholics.


9 posted on 11/08/2013 8:38:12 AM PST by Hebrews 11:6 (Do you REALLY believe that (1) God IS, and (2) God IS GOOD?)
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To: cloudmountain; HarleyD; Alex Murphy

WOW! Back up to 41,000!

Of course the site noted above includes all the different little sectlets found under the broad umbrella of Rome.


10 posted on 11/08/2013 8:38:23 AM PST by Gamecock (Many Atheists take the stand: "There is no God AND I hate Him.")
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To: cloudmountain; Gamecock
There are some 41,000 Christian denominations now, according to Google.

Gone are the heady days when we had a million denominations!
I still mourn for the loss of a zillion denominations!

11 posted on 11/08/2013 8:39:01 AM PST by Alex Murphy ("the defacto Leader of the FR Calvinist Protestant Brigades")
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To: Hebrews 11:6

OK, then there it is. Thanks.


12 posted on 11/08/2013 8:40:26 AM PST by gov_bean_ counter (Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools)
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To: gov_bean_ counter

I think I’m being suckered in ...


13 posted on 11/08/2013 8:41:51 AM PST by knarf (I say things that are true .. I have no proof .. but they're true.)
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To: Gamecock
This is ridiculous.

What would Luther say about this clown show?

14 posted on 11/08/2013 8:44:43 AM PST by Wyrd bi ful ard (Gone Galt, 11/07/12----No king but Christ! Don't tread on me!)
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To: Wyrd bið ful aræd

He’d say if you’d ever thrown a Hail Mary you may drop to a lower round...


15 posted on 11/08/2013 8:46:35 AM PST by gov_bean_ counter (Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools)
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To: Gamecock
Is this real or satire? I've read it twice and I'm still not sure.

I'd always assumed that an aspiring pastor just graduating from divinity school had to send out resumes and do interviews like anybody else. Silly me.

16 posted on 11/08/2013 8:54:11 AM PST by Vigilanteman (Obama: Fake black man. Fake Messiah. Fake American. How many fakes can you fit in one Zer0?)
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To: Alex Murphy
Gone are the heady days when we had a million denominations!
I still mourn for the loss of a zillion denominations!

The problem with so many denominations is that anyone can start one. I remember David Koresh (Branch Davidians) and his little family.
Here are a few cults from the Internet.

1. Church of Bible Understanding
2. Manson family
3. Aum Shinrikyo
4. Restoration of the 10 Commandments
5. Raëlism
6. Scientology
7. Order of the Solar Temple
8. Heaven’s Gate
9. Branch Davidians
10. Unification Church

Too many denominations turn into cults. That is the way people seem to be. Do you think that is the way Our Lord meant things to be?

The Hindus have "a million/zillion" different denominations. There are some 330 million different gods/goddesses, human, animal, mineral, whatever, in Hinduism. Is that a model that you would find acceptable?

Do you remember the Indiana Jones and their "Temple of Doom"? The Hindus worshiped a rock. It was stolen and Indiana and friends had to bring back the rock so the town that worshiped this particular rock would get its children back.
My point: the Hindus worship rocks they think are "blessed." I can't think of a faith MORE different than Christianity, in essence. A zillion denominations? I DON'T think that is what Our good Lord meant in His coming. Remember, I said "I THINK."

Cognito, ergo sum.

17 posted on 11/08/2013 8:57:27 AM PST by cloudmountain
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To: knarf

Always check for the humor tag at the end.


18 posted on 11/08/2013 9:00:10 AM PST by rwfromkansas ("Carve your name on hearts, not marble." - C.H. Spurgeon)
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To: Gamecock
WOW! Back up to 41,000!
Of course the site noted above includes all the different little sectlets found under the broad umbrella of Rome.

The "seclets" of Rome? You mean the "seclets" of Father Martin Luther.

I just saw the "Other Bolyn Girl" on the tube the other night. Henry VIII dumped the Catholic Church because it wouldn't let him marry his mistress. Do you remember the rhyme regarding Henry's wives?
Divorced
Beheaded
Died
Divorced
Beheaded
Survived.

Hard not to remember that little rhyme. It reminds me of WHY there are so many "seclets" of Rome: men like Henry.

19 posted on 11/08/2013 9:02:24 AM PST by cloudmountain
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To: rwfromkansas

It’s cleverer’n shit.


20 posted on 11/08/2013 9:03:55 AM PST by knarf (I say things that are true .. I have no proof .. but they're true.)
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To: gov_bean_ counter

The Hail Mary position has been replaced with the new Halal Mary. And, btw, Mary has also been replaced by Marzuq. Halal Marzuq.

A flood of Methodist and Episcopal graduates are seeking this new office.


21 posted on 11/08/2013 9:05:32 AM PST by mbarker12474
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To: mbarker12474

:)


22 posted on 11/08/2013 9:07:42 AM PST by gov_bean_ counter (Romans 1:22 Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools)
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To: Hebrews 11:6
They’re Calvinists, not Catholics.


then their draft order was predetermined

23 posted on 11/08/2013 9:39:38 AM PST by fungoking (Tis a pleasure to live in the Ozarks)
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To: Gamecock

So, where does Hobbes come in?


24 posted on 11/08/2013 9:41:02 AM PST by Lake Living
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To: Gamecock; Alex Murphy

41,000 is a made up number that keeps growing with the retelling.

Our manual of denominations in the Army Chaplaincy had a couple hundred maybe, and we had a legitimate reason for having information on denominations since we had to deal with them regularly.

Were one to try to find a list of “the 41,000” it would be a lot like Taze Russell’s 144,000, known only to the prophet himself.


25 posted on 11/08/2013 9:50:24 AM PST by xzins ( Retired Army Chaplain and Proud of It! Those who truly support our troops pray for victory!)
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To: Lake Living; Alex Murphy
So, where does Hobbes come in?

Glad you asked!


26 posted on 11/08/2013 9:52:50 AM PST by Gamecock (Many Atheists take the stand: "There is no God AND I hate Him.")
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To: xzins

Back when the number was in the 30,000 range, they were including every independent baptist church, and many thousands of non-Christian cults. Since every baptist congregation is free to choose its own statement of belief, we baptists can account for many ‘thousands’ of denominations all by ourselves.

It is all in how you define ‘denomination’. And since most Protestants believe in the priesthood of the believer, I expect the Catholic apologists to soon complain the SBC has millions of denominations within a denomination.


27 posted on 11/08/2013 9:57:04 AM PST by Mr Rogers (Liberals are like locusts...)
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To: Hebrews 11:6

“Wouldn’t the Calvin Award winner normally be drafted first anyway?”

If it’s “the Calvin Award” it was probably predestined.”


28 posted on 11/08/2013 9:59:03 AM PST by Towed_Jumper (What does it mean to be declared "guilty" in a nation without the rule of law?)
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To: Mr Rogers

I suspect you’re right. Someone’s playing fast and loose with the definition of denomination.


29 posted on 11/08/2013 10:01:05 AM PST by xzins ( Retired Army Chaplain and Proud of It! Those who truly support our troops pray for victory!)
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To: xzins

“No doubt the same Roman Catholic apologists who so gleefully cite the erroneous 25,000-denominations figure, and who might with just as much glee cite the revised 8,196-denominations figure, would reel at the notion that there might actually be 223 distinct denominations within Roman Catholicism! Yet that is precisely the number that Barrett cites for Roman Catholicism. Moreover, Barrett indicates in the case of Roman Catholicism that even this number can be broken down further to produce 2,942 separate denominations and that was only in 1970! In that same year there were only 3,294 Protestant denominations; a difference of only 352 denominations.”

http://www.jmm.org.au/articles/19106.htm


30 posted on 11/08/2013 10:01:46 AM PST by Mr Rogers (Liberals are like locusts...)
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To: Mr Rogers

We were a bit more balanced in the Army since we needed info for real purposes. And the Baptists who didn’t have conventions or organizations were just “Baptists”.


31 posted on 11/08/2013 10:09:34 AM PST by xzins ( Retired Army Chaplain and Proud of It! Those who truly support our troops pray for victory!)
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To: Towed_Jumper

That’s my point.


32 posted on 11/08/2013 10:12:58 AM PST by Hebrews 11:6 (Do you REALLY believe that (1) God IS, and (2) God IS GOOD?)
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To: Vigilanteman

Satire. Methodist pastors come from the Conference (our state level organization).


33 posted on 11/08/2013 10:13:05 AM PST by Bryanw92 (Sic semper tyrannis)
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To: Gamecock

Next stop, the superbowl! I hope we play against the Catholics, since all they do is throw Hail Marys every play.


34 posted on 11/08/2013 10:17:35 AM PST by Greetings_Puny_Humans
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To: Hebrews 11:6; Gamecock
Funny article but your comment is interesting.

Wouldn’t the Calvin Award winner normally be drafted first anyway?

Why? God knows men's hearts. He seeks His will to enact His plan. We don't know what that plan is or why things happen the way they do. Otherwise, all missionaries would be lottery winners and all Reformed pastors would be drafted first.

Apparently God knew their draft position before He founded the universe, eh?

Indeed He did.

35 posted on 11/09/2013 1:50:53 AM PST by HarleyD (...one of his disciples, whom Jesus loved.)
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To: HarleyD; Hebrews 11:6
Apparently God knew their draft position before He founded the universe, eh?

Knew?

He foreordained the entire draft!

36 posted on 11/09/2013 4:47:40 AM PST by Gamecock (Many Atheists take the stand: "There is no God AND I hate Him.")
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