[SATIRE] Catholic Church Switches To Flavored Communion

CAP News ^ | CAP News Staff

[Alex Murphy]

According to O'Malley, the first batch of new wafers will be made available in three flavors: chocolate, cinnamon, and Ritz. The plan is to taste test the varieties at some of the more tolerable parishes in the region, like throughout South Boston, and then expand the more successful kinds into other dioceses. "Wow, Jesus never tasted so good," said 47-year-old Darren St. Clair, one of a dozen to participate in a focus group that helped to select the initial flavor offerings. "The only problem I see is that this could extend Mass when everybody starts going back for a second helping of the Lord."

[Alex Murphy]

If you can read, you've been warned.

[Hieronymus]

In bad taste all round. (The flavoring would render the matter invalid—but you did get me to click the link.)

[SC_Pete]

I could actually see this happening at the chapel at Notre Dame—or maybe Georgetown.

[C. Edmund Wright]

Hah! At first glance, I thought it said “flavored Communism.”

[BitWielder1]

For a second I thought it said "Flavored Communism".

[driftdiver]

Its soo hard to tell these days

[MSSC6644]

I agree about the flavoring making the host invalid. Is that correct or not, Alex?

[shove_it]

Got any Orios?

[freedomlover]

IBTSC

(In before the satirically challenged)

[Mrs. Don-o]

It tweaked (twerked?) my interest sufficiently so that I clicked on some of their other stories:

Amazon Offers Discounts For Torching Retail Stores

2nd Annual Cyberstalking Saturday A Success

And BTW, flavoring thing would render the matter of the Eucharist invalid.

[count-your-change]

Careful! There is no satire so outlandish and bizarre that it will not be taken seriously by a goodly number of readers.

[Responsibility2nd]

Flavored communion?

Pssh. My church is more modern that that.

[Cicero]

Not really funny.

[Alex Murphy]

Satire Ping

[thetallguy24]

"the centuries-old bland wheat flour-based communion wafers"

Are they saying Jesus tastes bland? Did they get that idea from Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code," or are the corporate manufacturers of the wafer using sub-par Jesus flesh?

[Alex Murphy]

Are they saying Jesus tastes bland? Did they get that idea from Dan Brown's "The Da Vinci Code," or are the corporate manufacturers of the wafer using sub-par Jesus flesh?

ROTFL!
Breaded bliss [one company makes 80% of all Catholic Eucharist wafers sold worldwide]
[2012] Midwest drought to impact altar bread prices

[Hegewisch Dupa]

Funny or not isn’t really the point. With some posters, it’s a wondrous relief to see that they finally realize their posts are fiction.

[Hieronymus]

Very nice point Hegewisch.