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To: Gamecock
A man dies and goes to heaven

Of course, St. Peter meets him at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter says, "Here's how it works. You need 100 points to make it into heaven. You tell me all the good things you've done, and I give you a certain number of points for each item, depending on how good it was. When you reach 100 points, you get in."

"Okay," the man says, "I was married to the same woman for 50 years and never cheated on her, even in my heart."

"That's wonderful," says St. Peter, "that's worth three points!"

"Three points?" he says. "Well, I attended church all my life and supported its ministry with my tithe and service."

"Terrific!" says St. Peter. "That's certainly worth a point."

"One point!?!!" "I started a soup kitchen in my city and worked in a shelter for homeless veterans."

"Fantastic, that's good for two more points," he says.

"Two points!?!! "Exasperated, the man cries.

"At this rate the only way I'll get into heaven is by the grace of God."

"Bingo, 100 points! Come on in!"

We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape. God did it with a nail.

AMEN

6 posted on 02/23/2015 5:39:28 AM PST by MosesKnows (Love many, trust few, and always paddle your own canoe.)
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To: MosesKnows

***We often try to fix problems with WD-40 and duct tape. God did it with a nail.**

Funny and sad at the same time.


11 posted on 02/23/2015 5:52:41 AM PST by Gamecock (Joel Osteen is a minister of the Gospel like Captain Crunch is a Naval line officer.)
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To: MosesKnows

Your post is really great.

My favorite thing Jesus said was, “only believe”.

He said this to a young father who approached Jesus on the street. He begged Jesus to come to his home, stating that if Jesus would lay hands on her she would live.

But, Jesus recognized the young father’s faith, even while the crowd around the young father was saying the girl was dead already and he shouldn’t bother Jesus.

But .. Jesus looked directly at the young father and said, “only believe”. Jesus went to the home and the daughter was healed.

Sometimes, we need to “ONLY BELIEVE”.

Remember, God gave us the most wonderful gift .. the POWER TO CHOOSE. Everything in life is a CHOICE.

This gift of choice came with our birth, way before our Salvation. The gift allowed us to choose to worship GOD .. because GOD did not want robots .. he wanted a family.


20 posted on 02/23/2015 6:26:43 AM PST by CyberAnt ("The hope and changey stuff did not work, even a smidgen.")
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