FrankenNet Unleashed! - The new Liberal Talk Net

Shot in the Dark ^ | March 11, 2004 | Mitch Berg

[Snuffington]

FrankenNet Unleashed! - The new Liberal Talk Net has announced its lineup:

Air America Radio, a progressive talk radio network, announced today it will hit the airwaves on March 31st. "Air America Radio is launching in the top U.S. markets with leading talent that will provide compelling and entertaining programming on the radio, on satellite feeds, and on the web," said Mark Walsh, Chief Executive Officer of Air America Radio. "We aim to build an important new media franchise that delivers results."

And those results?

So far, not too promising:

The network's on-air personalities represent today's top political and popular satirists, commentators and activists. Comedian, and best selling author Al Franken, who was recently taken to court when Bill O'Reilly and Fox News were seeking an injunction to halt distribution of "Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right," and is known for fact-based, drug-free satire, will host a weekday show on the network called "The O'Franken Factor."

Fact-based? We'll see, I have my doubts, and they'll be played out right in this space (assuming they ever air here).

Let's see - so far, this network's marketing is based entirely on

• Fox's lawsuit
• Limbaugh's former drug habit,
• Hatred of George Bush and all he represents.

Seems like a thin concept.

"I'm so happy that Air America Radio will be on in three battleground states, New York, Illinois and California - no wait - those aren't battleground states. What the hell are we doing?" said Franken.

I don't believe in Karma - but I think what goes around comes around. If Captain Ed is right, Franken may eat those words.

Let's check out the lineup:

Monday-Friday
Uprising: 6:00-9:00am

This is a fast paced morning show that will entertain and engage audiences with wit and political satire. It will feature the latest news, offering up to-the-minute interviews with newsmakers, analysis and strong opinions.

Host: Marc Maron
Co-host: Sue Ellicott
Co-host: Mark Riley

Marc Maron? Former host of Comedy Central's "Short Attention Span Theatre"? He was lame even within that weak concept. Dull, dull comic. Sue Ellicott - a regular on "Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me", the often-entertaining but doggedly-lefty MPR quiz show. Ellicott is funny, and a babe (sixth from the left in the picture below)...:

...but she brings that "NPR" attitude to the proceedings.

But she's not the last one to do that.

Standup comic count: 2.
NPR Retread count: 1 - We'll get back to this.

Unfiltered: 9:00am- 12:00pm
Air America's midmorning program is a showcase for conversation about the political and cultural state of the union. Unfiltered introduces listeners to fresh new voices not available in mainstream media today.

Co-host: Lizz Winstead
Co-host: Chuck D
Co-host: Laura Flanders

Sound like an MPR concept? Emphasis on "concept?"

Chuck D should do a show by himself, without the worthless Winstead and the dreary, NPR-ish Flanders; while I'd disagree, it'd probably be interesting.

Standup Comic Count: 3.
NPR Count: 2

The O'Franken Factor: 12:00-3:00pm
Relentless, pure satire, delivered by the leading political humorist of this generation. With his partner, longtime radio host Katherine Lanpher, this will be three hours of fearless barbs, sketches, and interviews with newsmakers and characters who have lived, up until now, only in Al's fertile imagination. He's no policy wonk, but this best-selling author and veteran of Saturday Night Live, is devoting his energy to fighting back against rightwing propaganda with hard evidence and facts.

Host: Al Franken
Co-host: Katherine Lanpher
Producer: Billy Kimball

Well, start fighting against me, Al!

Calling it the "O'Franken Factor" is too cute by half; funny maybe the first time, wears out fast.

Standup Comic count: 4 - Franken sorta still counts.
NPR Count: 3

The Randi Rhodes Show: 3:00-7:00pm

Randi Rhodes has spent the last 20 years burning up the airwaves in southern Florida with her pointed and provocative brand of talk radio. Combining live interview, call-in and commentary, Randi engages her audience with a passionate presentation.

Host: Randi Rhodes

Rhodes is Molly Ivins without the "wit", quotes included.

Standup Comic count holds at 4
NPR Count holds at 3.
Talk radio has-beens: 1.

So What Else Is News? : 7:00-8:00pm
Based in Los Angeles, this is a one-hour program showcasing the intersection of politics, media and popular culture. This program will feature analysis and reports from the presidential campaign, as well as a daily reporters' roundtable on how the news of the day is affected and reflected by the media. Marty will also cover the spinning of the news with a regular segment called "The Corrections.?" This is also the place to hear the political voice of Hollywood, with celebrity guest interviews from the entertainment industries.
Host: Marty Kaplan

This sounds...not just dull, but "Desperately Dull". Combine talking heads with a "Marketplace" host, and you have grounds for class-action suits on behalf of people driving off the road in their sleep.

And "Political Voice of Hollywood?" Yeah, Hollywood's political voice has been pretty brutally stifled of late.

Has anyone on the left thought this through yet?

Standup Comic count: 4
NPR count: 4
Talk-radio has-beens: 1

The Majority Report: 8:00pm-11:00pm

This program will introduce new, younger voices and opinions, with live guests from the world of politics, the arts and entertainment. Host: Janeane Garofalo
Co-host: Sam Seder

All of Al Franken's snide sneering. None of his folksy charm.

Standup comic count: 6 (Seder counts as half).

So the final count:

Standup Comics: 6
NPR Retreads: 4
Talk radio has-beens: 1

Let's not forget the weekend:

Additional programming will include Best-of Air America Radio and Best-of-O?Franken Factor as well as other original programming to be announced soon.

Might I suggest a group of liberal bloggers? Oh, wait...

I love this quote:

?We are excited about the diverse and important voices Air America Radio is bringing to the airwaves, both on our own WLIB signal and others,? said Pierre Sutton, Chairman of ICBC.

Diverse? I guess - if "diverse" means "Has-been standup comics" and "a few people were weren't quite moldy and dull enough for NPR".

I think the emphasis on using comics and NPR retreads like Lanpher and Kaplan is important; comics are inevitably angry, bitter people with gargantuan egoes. They are used to dominating stages with the force of their personalities. I admire this on one front; a good comic's stage presence is amazing. On the other hand, comics almost inevitably talk down to people; they' usually ooze contempt for their audiences. NPR is similar - public radio personalities give you the sense that they are something you'd better absorb for your own good - without any actual entertainment value.

And always, always, the Hollywood connection. Look at how much of the show is based on inteviews with guests - "live guests from the world of politics, the arts and entertainment", as Garofalo's blurb puts it. Liberal radio talks down to the audience.

Conservative talk radio succeeds because it's like Extreme Barroom Conversation. You can imagine yourself talking politics with people like you hear on conservative talk, whether it's that maddenlingly erudite Medved guy in the front booth, that blowhard O'Reilly by the jukebox, those Northern Alliance schlemiels around the pool table, or that Limbaugh guy in the back room.

Comics? Their job is to get the bar to shut up. And if you try to talk with them directly, they'll give you a too-cool-for-the-room cutdown and try to hit on your girlfriend.

And the NPR guys? They're over at the Dunn Brothers listening to Peruvian techno.

Will it fly? You can help me figure that out, with...

The Liberal Radio Dead Pool - That's right. Let's predict the demise of Frankennet. If you're feeling really cnfident, let's do the same for the individual shows.

Winner of the dead pool wins a "What Would Reagan Do?" bumper sticker from "Shop In The Dark".

My predictions are as follows:

• "Uprising": Comics are as stable as show poodles. I say the show has burned through both of its co-hosts in the first six months, and is "re-worked" by September 31.
• "Unfiltered": Lilywhite Winstead is a snide, hip, too-cool-for-school comic. Chuck D is a hard-edged polemicist. Separately, neither invites conversation. Together, I see the show being as much fun as a MacAlester teach-in. I predict Chuck bails within six months.
• "O'Franken" - For starters; basing your show's identity on a slap against your rival merely plays his game, and shows the...well, stupidity of FrankenNet's executive suite. Second: I'm trying to figure out Al Franken's reaction when he realizes his sidekick is Katherine Lanpher, the overrated dim-bulb of MPR fame. I say Lanpher's out by March 21, 2005, and the show grinds to a halt by September 30, 2006.
• Randi Rhodes: Gone by March 31, 2005.
• "Majority Report": Garofalo is an acquired taste when you're watching her do comedy in a room; much of her appeal (and I'll admit right here - she has appeal) is physical; her face is half of her act. Note to FrankenNet's brain trust; on radio, nobody can see your face! I give it six months: By 9/30/04, Garofalo will be gone.
• Finally - FrankenNet will get a major re-tooling by September 31, 2004. Most of its original lineup will be gone as noted above. Its first major affiliate will switch formats by 3/31/05, and the network will be officially dead by 3/31/06.

Count on it.

posted by Mitch Berg 3/11/2004 06:17:12 AM

[Snuffington]

Some context for non-Minnesotans. Franken's co-host, Katherine Lanpher (lampooned above), has been on talk-radio here in the Minneapolis - Saint Paul area for many years.

She started out at KSTP, a local talk station that hosts Rush Limbaugh and once hosted Jesse Ventura. Her ratings were terrible. But she was liberal.

So the local NPR station picked her to host a blissfully ratings sheltered NPR talk show. It was dull, condescending, and largely ignored. But liberal.

So now she's gone national along with Al Franken.

If this is the way they're choosing talent for their new radio network, I think Mitch may be overly generous in his longevity predictions.

[bobo1]

Is this the best the 'Rats can offer?.

Al Franken couldn't command a toy boat in a bathtub. Al will help elect Dubya.

He is not funny, he is stupid. Fitting, a moron supporting morons. If the blind lead the blind, they will fall in a ditch.

Bobo is anxiously awaiting the opportunity to call Franken's show, paid for and supported by the 'rats cuz they cannot operate in the open market. Figures.

Blessings, Bobo

[prion]

Oohhhhh. Thanks for the clarification. I wondered why he kept saying "MPR" interchangably with "NPR".

You know what the real problem is? The left doesn't have a coherent political philosphy any more. They used to, but the failure of world socialism and all their socialist-lite experiments in the US has broken them down into a messy, unconnected collection of individual nutty ideas. So what do these guys have to talk about, except how much they hate those of us on the right?

[clintonh8r]

Randi Rhodes could do the lefty radio ag reports. She's some sort of bovine/procine genetic nightmare....

[JustPlainJoe]

Gee, it must be fun to be Al Franken - getting a cush job and knowing that it will only last until November...
Then he can start trying to find some other hollywood schmuck to hire him for ANOTHER temp job...

[Prime Choice]

[SquirrelKing]

This is an exciting office party waiting to happen.

[DoctorMichael]

Crash and Burn Bump.

[lmailbvmbipfwedu]

FrankinNet:

T'is the tirade of a fool. Full of fire and fury, signifying nothing.........

[nina0113]

Who's that one chick dressed like Isadora Duncan in mourning?

[DManA]

Lanfer's most notable feature is her laugh. This is a godsend in a Franken's co-host because this way people will know when Al says something funny - they will hear this horse breying coming out of the radio.

[KJacob]

I read the post about Bush in church before reading this one. People like Franken sound like children next to Bush.

[SquirrelKing]

One hot mama. :D

[Sofa King]

"Air America Radio?"

For once I'd like to see liberals name something honestly. 'Air Unamerica Radio' would be better. Rhetoric central would be nice too.

[Desron13]

"Air America Radio, a progressive talk radio network, announced today it will hit the airwaves on March 31st."

Every time you see the word "progressive" in this context, always mentally replace it with the word "communist". You’ll never go wrong using this technique. I just can't wait to watch this liberal belly flop die a slow agonizing death.

[LexBaird]

We are excited about the diverse and important voices Air America Radio is bringing to the airwaves, both on our own WLIB signal and others,? said Pierre Sutton, Chairman of ICBC.

But, I thought "diverse" was LibSpeak for multi-ethnic. Anyone care to check the "diversity" in that group photo?

[norwaypinesavage]

"O'Franken Factor"?

With such originality, I'm sure this will be a commanding success.

[kevkrom]

Dead-pool entry: the whole thing will be propped-up by unlimited donations investment by the Soros-type crowd until the first Wednesday in November. Ratings will be abysmal, but will never be reported as such. The "major media" will quote things said on these shows as if they were real news.

[Voltage]

I thought Ed Schultz from KFGO in Fargo was going to be their 'Star".

What happened?

KFGO just put Rush on live (11AM-2PM CST)..maybe Ed is too busy preparing for his debut?

[Hildy]

The O'Franken Factor? Oh, that's funny. He's hoping Bill will sue him and get him more publicity.