It seems to me that if you murdered 11,000 people, after which, in your real, true, heart of hearts, you accepted Jesus Christ and his ministry, then you would want your victims to go to heaven, and you would want you, yourself, to be sentenced to eternal damnation.
If you've "accepted" JC and his ministry, you could not want such a thing. You cannot simultaneously long to be both with God and separated from him forever.
Yes, that's certainly true, but Jesus Christ himself will be their judge.
... and you would want you, yourself, to be sentenced to eternal damnation.
That doesn't follow.
Yes, I think that's true, in a way. But that's not what God wants for someone upon whom He shows mercy. What happens is that you eventually accept God's judgment upon you that that is what you deserve; you also accept the fact that He intends to show you mercy. Before conversion I spent a long time trying to punish myself for my sins. It was never enough punishment for me to think, "ah, I've suffered enough. I'm not guilty anymore". At conversion, I was actually glad to know that God was furious with me, because I knew He had a right to be. The correct response, however, to God's mercy, is gratitude and humility -- not a questioning of what He has done for you, or why.