"If you know someone who's serving there, write to them; write often; write regularly."

USS Clueless ^ | Nov. 19, 2003 | Steven Den Beste

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

USS Clueless ~ Steven Den Beste

 

Blogger Steven Den Beste responded yesterday to a reader's concern about potential suicides among our troops stationed in Iraq with an 'actuarial' explanation of the higher suicide rate among US civilians ~ and advice on one sure way to lift the spirits of our troops serving overseas*:

 

Another thing that helps is mail from home. It's perfectly fine if it's mundane and trite; it's a link back to normalcy for the soldiers. If you know someone who's serving there, write to them; write often; write regularly. Tell them what's happening in your life. Don't wait for something big to happen; keep writing. A letter from home is a lifeline, a promise that all the insanity around the soldier will eventually end, and a way of keeping hold of what "normal" life is like, because after a while it starts getting hard to remember. It also tells the soldier that someone cares, that he isn't just a piece of a machine, but still a person that someone misses. And when that mail stops coming, that lifeline breaks and hangs limp, leaving that soldier adrift, abandoned. So keep writing.

Even if he doesn't write back. He's busy, you know; there's a war to fight. email is good, but paper mail is better; soldiers carry their letters from home with them, and reread them when the situation is getting them down.

Don't write to him about what he's doing; he knows what he's doing. Write to him about the stuff he wishes he could do but can't: write about movies you've gone to see, and how your favorite football team should draw and quarter its quarterback but still managed to pull it out and win the big game, and about trips to the store, and what you bought, and about people you've talked to, and why the new television season is the worst ever. Think "Lileks writing about Gnat" and write about that kind of stuff. Write about all the things that you take for granted that a soldier in a combat zone can't do. He can read your letter, and vicariously do them through you. As he's reading, he's home again, if only for a few minutes. And he will read it, more than once.

There's never enough mail from home.

 

 

*Mr. Den Beste adds: "By the way, two things which will reduce the suicide rate a lot are bars and brothels, but we can't encourage either of those in Iraq."

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Thank you.  ( :

[cjshapi]

Any suggestions for a soldier you don't personally know but "adopted"? Just got my assignment yesterday and am trying to put a care package together for him.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Think "Lileks writing about Gnat" and write about that kind of stuff. Write about all the things that you take for granted that a soldier in a combat zone can't do. He can read your letter, and vicariously do them through you. As he's reading, he's home again, if only for a few minutes. And he will read it, more than once.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Y
   

   

[Alamo-Girl]

Bump!

[TonyWojo]

I just adopted a soldier yesterday myself. I went home last night and informed my wife and (2) sons ages 17 and 18, that each of them needed to write a letter to a total stranger. After informing them of why and that I adopted a soldier they were excited.

Brandon the younger one will fill him in on all the football scores and highlights. Matt will critique all of the latest movies. My mother-in-law found out and will probably write weekly. I was going to record (VHS) a few local news broadcasts, and ESPN sports news to hopefully give some updates, and copy some news headlines,like the Michael Jackson story.

What we are buying to send for Xmas is gum, nuts, beef jerky, sweetened kool-aid. Cards, Yahtzee, some magazines, tooth paste tooth brush, etc.

[TankerKC]

I know that when I have been deployed, the best part of any day is getting mail. It doesn't matter who it comes from, it always would brighten my day.

[Vermonter]

There's never enough mail from home.

This can't be repeated enough.

It's been a lot of years since I served, but I can still remember how good it felt getting mail. Believe me, your service person will read and re-read your letters often.

There's nothing more disappointing than a mail call that doesn't produce a letter for you. :-(

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Some handy tips from experienced 'caregiving' Freepers:

8 They Won't Be Home For The Holidays: A Quick Guide To Care Packages For Miltary Personnel 

8 Deadlines Set For Holiday Mailings [+ handy mailing tips]

8 Care Package ~ Mail Tips

[Arrowhead1952]

There's nothing more disappointing than a mail call that doesn't produce a letter for you.

The Texas Army National Guard bought several boxes of Christmas cards and had full time and weekenders sign each card. We are sending several hundred cards from the central Texas area.

[Ragtime Cowgirl]

Thank you for your service, and for sharing your stories...teaching us civilians.

Most of us are clueless about what it means to serve in a war zone far from home. Worse, we learned about the military from the same media sources that bring us "war news" today.

Passing this on to the press, and fellow clueless civilian Americans.

[boxerblues]

Mail bump....dont forget to tell them you love & miss them at the top and bottom of every letter. Messages on the outside of packages tell the whole group just who loves em. Dont worry about embarassing them they enjoy it. Moms can get away with this as Moms outrank a General anyday of the week

[Eagle Eye]

Football news can be real important to the guys. The time zone differences make it hard to watch games even when there is a tv available at the MWR or equivalent facilty. The Stars and Stripes won't give adequste coverage and is usually a few days late.

Most troops don't have easy access to email or phones. The lines are long and the time online is precious.

Magazines are nice if possible. The supply at the PX never lasts for long.

Having teens write will be good, since there are things that they will have in common more than guys my age would.

As someone else mentioned, write without expecting responses. Not all GI's are real good writers and don't always feel comfortable writing back.

The important thing is for them to have their name on the list or called at mail call. There is alway something special about hearing "You have mail!"

Thanks for helping take care of the troops.

[Cannoneer No. 4]

yw

We have Freepers and children of Freepers in theater. Maybe we can get the word out to them for some addresses of folks that don't get much mail.

[Jammz]

I appreciate your support for the guys over here (I'm an E5 in Iraq, myself).

Just a couple more suggestions...

For those of you who are writing to members from your local area, try including some local newspapers. Being gone 4 or 6 or even 12 months is a long time. You can't see all the small changes that happen day to day, but they add up and when people come back it's one big change for them. It's nice to see and hear of some of the little changes as it's less culture shock.

Be careful on what magazines you send as some magazines are considered pornography (yes, swimsuit issues are pornography here). Penthouse and stuff like that are way taboo and can get someone in trouble.

Finally, while you're writing, try to ask questions, that will encourage the recipient to write back (and give him/her stuff to think about and reflect on). Alot of people get so focused on the job they forget to focus on themselves (yes this happens, you eat, go to work, eat, go to sleep, eat, go to work... Give them a reality nudge.

Thanks again to those of you taking care of the troops!!

[blackie]

Barbecue in the snow ~ Perfect! :)

[Cannoneer No. 4]

Thank you.

So how is your war going?

Did you drop in from Vicenza?

[TEXOKIE]

Bump your post 15!

[pax_et_bonum]

How do I adopt a soldier?

[half_nelson]

how do you adopt a soldier?