Researchers say they can predict divorces

Boston.com ^ | February 17, 2004 | ROBERT COOKE

[RogerFGay]

That creepy feeling you sometimes get while attending a wedding -- "this one ain't gonna last" -- is now being expressed in numbers.

In an unusual bit of numerical reasoning, a psychologist and two mathematicians at the University of Washington state that they now can predict the fate of a marriage with high accuracy, identifying shortly after nuptials up to 94 percent of the couples who are destined to split.

[Rebelbase]

Sometimes I think that its only about 1 in 10 that reach the head over heals in love, committed, still lust for each other and have 3 kids together type of marriage.

I am very envious of that kind of relationship.

A few of my close friends have marriages like that. Maybe one day.

[Thebaddog]

I learned the right way to fight early on and it generally included not taking what the bride said in anger too seriously, and getting the fark out of there when it got too hot. I saw a few ball games at the corner and went back to make up later. You guess the rest.

[jtminton]

We didn't smear our wedding cake either. We had Twinkies. It was great, not to mention the fact that they tasted much better on that first anniversary than boring old wedding cake made without preservatives.

[Pylot]

I long ago came to the conclusion that men rule the world and women rule the men.

This conclusion has led me through 20 years of wedded bliss.

[babble-on]

the man's job in a fight is to make sure that it doesn't get SO out of hand that it precludes "make-up sex"

[longtermmemmory]

65% still married. They beat the odds.

[No Blue States]

I think one key to marriage lasting is simple forgiveness.

Both parties have faults, make mistakes, and one way or the other feelings do get hurt.

But holding a grudge eats you up and seeks revenge.

Thats why I am still mad at my wife for losing my remote, and i plan to hide her cell phone under the couch.

[playball0]

Ping

[brownsfan]

Plus you only get divorced if your comments about each other are negative by a 5 to 1 margin! The rest of us have to stick around and suffer with 4 to 1.

Count me in the 4 to 1 group. Someone want to loan me "1" to get me to 5 to 1?!

(Great comment!) :)

[No Blue States]

"the man's job in a fight is to make sure that it doesn't get SO out of hand that it precludes "make-up sex"

LOL! Thats a fine line too.

[KC_Conspirator]

Particuarly if you're a man. This society is not condusive to marriage and one should heed that fact.

What are you talking about? Its "raining men" in San Fran and the mayor is trying to make it condusive indeed.

[Bug]

She has class and taste, and I aspire to.

LOL funny!

[KC_Conspirator]

Particuarly if you're a man. This society is not condusive to marriage and one should heed that fact.

What are you talking about? Its "raining men" in San Fran and the mayor is trying to make it condusive indeed.

[longtermmemmory]

Dr. Laura's new book has a few points that dovetail with this 5 to 1 ratio.

[eno_]

What planet are you from, and is this the REAL reason we are building rockets to go to Mars?

[Red Boots]

said it before and will say again, only the ignorant and the stupid consider marriage these days. This seems to be a widely-held view these days and I think it is so sad, because it misses the entire reason God designed love and marriage. It wasn't to be safe, be treated right by society or it's laws ( and I agree, the laws are stacked against men), get all the sex you need/want/desire, or even to live happily ever after, or whatever else you might think. Marriage was designed, by God, as the best venue to learn how to LOVE one another. Only through a long and committed relationship with one person, that goes through many ups and downs, can you even begin to learn how to really love. To learn how to love is the sole purpose of our lives on this earth, no other. That is what Jesus meant when he said that the Law could be summed up as, " Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, mind and soul, and Love your neighbor as yourself." Despite all it's problems, marriage is still the best way to learn how to do that. I've been married for nearly 24 years, and I can tell you that there were lots of times we could have thrown in the towel. We are both passionate people, and we've had some fights !!! (I could write a book!). But through it all, we never forgot the TRUE purpose of marriage; to learn HOW to really love, both each other and God. And we never gave up. I love my husband so much, we have been through so much, good and bad,joy and suffering, pleasure and pain, together, we have learned so much about love, that we could never, ever have learned any other way. That is the true purpose of marriage, adn one should heed that fact.

[CIB-173RDABN]

My wife saved a portion of the cake for our first anniversary, and then for many years afterwards she would get a small cake and put the small bride and groom topping she saved on it. Somewhere that tradition was changed so the battered bride and groom only come out about every five years now, 15, 20, 25, 30 and should be making an appearance again for our 35th next year.

The problem with any generality is that there are always exception, and I am happpy to know you are an exception.

Here is wishing you many more happy anniversaries.

[old and tired]

Somewhere along the line a nasty tradition of the "loving" couple rubbing wedding cake into the face of their new partner. Some think this is funny, but I see it as an act of outright agression. Perhaps it is my age, but I don't think it is funny.

I also see this as a sure sign of aggression and future divorce. To date, I have been at 6 weddings where the bride smashed cake into the groom's face. 5 of those marriages are over. The other couple has been married 2 years. Maybe it's unfair, but I'm convinced their marriage is doomed too.

[lainie]

I read somewhere that after a long enough time in marriage, the spouses are rewarded with falling in love with each other, all over again.

[HadEnough]

You have it absolutely right!

Had my 24th anniversary this last weekend, and your
comments ring true with us.

My "Proverbs 31" bride/wife/mother completes my life. Together, my strengths and her strengths synergistically make us unbeatable.

There is also the covenant I made with God...until death do us part.

As the Creator of Adam and Eve, God knew exactly what He was doing when he instituted marriage!!