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My Son and War
Painfully typed in from the American Legion Magazine, Vol, 156, No. 1, pp. 30-31 | January 2004 | Frank Schaeffer

Posted on 03/06/2004 9:06:29 AM PST by sauropod

I read this article in the laundromat yesterday. I found it to be a powerful indictment on "Military Families Speak Out." It is not online at the American Legion Magazine Web site, so i typed it in. 'Pod

My Son and War: A once-skeptical father shares his perspective on military parenthood.

By Frank Schaeffer

I write novels for a living and never served in the military. My two older children did the expected: Georgetown and New York University. Our kind - higher-education-worshipping denizens of the North Shore, north of Boston - rarely enlist these days. In 1999, my youngest son, John, was the only senior graduating from his exclusive private high school to join the military. As I write, he is in the Middle East on his second deployment as a U.S. Marine.

After reading an opinion piece I wrote for The Washington Post - about the wrenching adjustment I made from ambivalence toward our military to proud support for my Marine - Gen. James L. Jones (then commandant of the Marine Corps, now chief of NATO), wrote to me, "There has been a 'disconnect' between the men and women who defend our nation and those who are the beneficiaries of that service." The "disconnect" to which Jones refers is illustrated by the contrast between most parents of military personnel and Americans who will not even allow their children's high schools to give their names and addresses to recruiters.

Under the No Child Left Behind Act, schools are required to give the names of graduating students to recruiters. Some parents find it unbearable that their children might be asked to even consider serving. In a New York Times article, Donna Lieberman, executive director of the New York Civil Liberties Union, says, "Students have a right to not be bothered by agressive military recruiters." School-board members in the San Francisco area said they were working to thwart the "dangerous" law.

Apparently some parents, failing to thwart the recruiter and their child's choice to serve, never reconcile themselves with their feelings about military service. An antiwar organization called "Military Families Speak Out" was formed in 2002 by parents and relatives of servicemembers. Speak Out claims to represent military parents against our liberation of Iraq. The Group's Web site is linked ot a grab bag of anti-globalization and pacifist groups. Speak Out exploits an emotional antiwar tactic: it prints letters on its Web site from frightened parents and children of soldiers pleading with the president to let their mommies, daddies, sons or daughters come home.

What are the factors contributing to the existence of groups like Speak Out? Fear is an obvious reason. But a number of other underlying factors exist. Class is one; the rise of anti-military and anti-traditional-male, politically correct ideology is another.

At one time, our military was drawn from a true cross section of society. Even the Ivy League contributed its fair share - until my generation came along. We were the "60s generation." Some of us served. Many, including me, did not. Vietnam was our excuse. I say excuse because since that war ended, the upper classes - especially the most educated - never regained any sense of moral obligation to serve, let alone the desire to see their children volunteer.

Harvard's memorial wall tells the story. It has many names form World War I and World War II on it, a few from Korea, a handful from Vietnam and none since. Now it's rare to find members of Congress who voluntarily served, much less their children.

The absence of the educated and wealthy elite from our military exacerbates the sense that something un-American and unfair is going on when "my kid" gets sent to war and "rich kids" do not. A country where fairly shared sacrifice is the norm might be less apt to breed groups like Speak Out.

What of the second factor, the rise of anti-military and anti-traditional-male ideology? Before my generation took its turn at the raising and education of children, oversolicitous, hand-wringing "soccer moms" wailing "Be careful!" were nowhere in sight. Winston Churchill and Gen. George Patton were heroes, and no one use the word "sensitivity" except when describing a rash to their doctor.

Patton would not recognize most of today's pool of potential male recruits. I say "male recruits" because while females serve and serve well, it is the role of boys in our culture that best represents our elite's change in attitude about service and, more fundamentally, about the traditional warror role of young men. I believe this shift has something to do with the climate that produces a type of military parent who wants the military to do anything but fight wars.

What kind of boy would be drafted into Patton's army today? Today's 17-year-old potential recruit - let's call him Gabriel (fictitious name) - is an obese, Ritalin-oppressed young man, soft as a Twinkie. The post-'60s, anti-traditional-male and anti-military views of our educated elite have played a role in shaping Gabriel. He only knows about what were once called "boyhood" or "manly" experiences via grotesque video games and other electronic adentures he vicariously undertakes from a snack-littered couch. If he ever got punched at school, the other kid was suspended for violence. If his teacher spanked him, she was fired or maybe jailed. If Gabriel ever read "Huckleberry Finn," he related to the robust protagonist the way a chubby goldfish trapped in a small glass bowl might gape incredulously at a 600-pound Blue Fin slicing his way through the open ocean.

Unlike teachers of the World War II era, too many of Gabriel's instructors see no virtue in martial skills, let alone military service. His teacher is most likely a politically correct, speech-code-sensitivity-enforcing do-gooder trained to make sure Gabriel does his best to behave like the girls in his class. Gabriel's teacher has commanded Gabriel to have "high self-esteem," for what reason or for what acoomplishment he's never been told. "Force never solves anything," he or she has told Gabriel. If Gabriel's teacher ever mentions the military, it is with a shudder and perhaps a condescending smirk.

The smirk was momentarily replaced by a howl of terrified dismay when 19 hijackers killed 3,000 Americans one bright morning. Suddenly Gabriel's teacher's progressive tolerance of everybody and everything - except traditional males - evaporated. Gabriel, his teacher, and maybe even Gabriel's parents looked around, as if waking from a dream, and fervently hoped there were a few good men and women selfless and strong enough to shoulder an 80-pound pack and sling on an M-16 to defend the rest of us.

There were. Not all young men and women are "Gabriel," and even some who once were, volunteered to be mentally and physically "readjusted" by their drill instructors from "nasty civilians" into America's finest warriors.

We went to war in Afghanistan and Iraq. The military performed brilliantly. But the war was not over in 15 minutes. It wasn't cut to the pace of a TV commercial. Disney had not supplied a happy ending. Our elites did not like to see our military force used. Our war was fought on the ground, not with cruise missiles. Our attention wandered. Some military parents grew impatient. When where their children coming home? What the hell was this word "sacrifice" supposed to mean?

How far will Speak Out go in bedding down with the rabble of America-haters that inflict themselves on the rest of us through the worldwide peace movement? Would the founders of Speak Out have walked out on the Columbia University associate professor [Nicholas DiGenova] who, according to The New York Times, told thousands of students and faculty at a "peace teach-in" in March that he would like to see the United States suffer "a million Mogadishus"? Maybe members of Speak Out don't go that far. But, as the parents of military men and women, they sure have some strange bedfellows.

Like myself, most military parents honor the fact that our children took an oath to serve. Most of us are more patient than members of the chattering classes who write editorials about how our American policy is failing in the Middle East. Most of us know that even if it does fail, we must still try to transform the breeding grounds of hopelessness, terror and oppression into places where freedom and human rights are given a chance. Most military parents know that World War II lasted almost five years. Germany took 20 years to reconstruct. We still have troops in Korea, Japan and Germany. We know that the Middle East is a complex mess and that the chaotic "crescent of instability," stretching from the horn of Africa through the Middle East and all the way to Indonesia, cannot be allowed to continue breeding violent anti-American terrorists.

My Marine has my absolute support, even though I feel sick at the thought that he could be hurt, or worse. I pray my way through each day and many lonely nights. He is engaged in a noble undertaking. I think most military parents feel as I do, though maybe the press doesn't quote us as often as it trumpets the fears of a few oversolicitous hand-wringing military "soccer moms" (and dads) wailing "Be careful!" as their sons and daughters try to defend us. I hope such parents come to understand that they are putting our children at risk by making us look weak and divided to terrorists who already dismiss us as soft.


TOPICS: Activism/Chapters; Foreign Affairs; Front Page News; News/Current Events; Philosophy; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: antiwar; banglist; frankschaeffer; gabriel; militaryfamilies; speakout
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To: FRMAG
"Most are made stronger!"

I am grateful to those who serve our country.May God watch over them and bring them home safe.
101 posted on 03/06/2004 12:02:06 PM PST by MEG33 (John Kerry's been AWOL for two decades on issues of National Security!)
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To: sheltonmac
...Some of us served. Many, including me, did not. Vietnam was our excuse. I say excuse because since that war ended, the upper classes - especially the most educated - never regained any sense of moral obligation to serve, let alone the desire to see their children volunteer..

Moral obligation to what? The State? I think the thousands upon thousands of dollars stolen out of my paycheck for over two decades to pay for government waste and 'moral' wars should suffice. Where exactly is the WOT going to go next? It's hit a deadend (much like the search for the 'phantom' WMDs). Considering that the majority of terrorist supporters are in nations that have not been bombed yet or are called 'ally' (i.e. Saudi Arabia), it's time to get on the ball and get to the next one. They'll be at it for years at this rate. Or is this just the perpetual war that Frum, Perle, Wolfowitz, and their ilk wanted? At the expense of the brave men and women that signed up to defend this nation of states.

I will be the first to sign up, even at my age, and defend this nation of states from foreign invaders. However I would not sign up to go to war to 'spread democracy'. I have a moral obligation to help and support others in foreign lands by personal funds, visits, work, etc.. However I do not have a moral obligation to support actions to establish our form of 'government', that is foreign to others, in another nation because the government tells me it is the 'moral' thing to do. Come back in a generation or two when the 'democracy' this adminstration forcibly installed in Iraq has failed and tell me how great the need was. Maybe by then they'll have found an ounce or two of WMDs in Iraq as well....

102 posted on 03/06/2004 12:02:35 PM PST by billbears (Deo Vindice.)
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To: sauropod
He is still talking down to us; he is reconciled, not reconstructed.
103 posted on 03/06/2004 12:17:20 PM PST by Old Professer
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To: billbears
You amoral Coward? How dare you not want to sacrifice your life or the life of a son to spreading Democracy in other lands? You must be a traitor, commie, or Islamic spy if you don't follow the gubmint blueprint demanded of you!
104 posted on 03/06/2004 12:19:17 PM PST by Burkeman1
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To: 68-69TonkinGulfYachtClub
Thanks for the ping!
105 posted on 03/06/2004 12:30:53 PM PST by Alamo-Girl
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To: Burkeman1
I think you should vote for Dennis Kucinich.

He wants a "Department of Peace." That should be right up your alley.......

106 posted on 03/06/2004 12:35:31 PM PST by ohioWfan (BUSH 2004 - Leadership, Integrity, Morality)
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To: billbears
Thank you for respecting our military although you disapprove of the war.It shows one can be anti war without insulting vets,the armed forces or their families.
107 posted on 03/06/2004 12:38:09 PM PST by MEG33 (John Kerry's been AWOL for two decades on issues of National Security!)
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To: ohioWfan
That would be just as stupid and Orwellian. I liked it when we called it The Department of War. That was honest at least. But for you and yours- too honest I suspect.
108 posted on 03/06/2004 12:39:46 PM PST by Burkeman1
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To: ohioWfan
see my #97
109 posted on 03/06/2004 12:41:15 PM PST by MEG33 (John Kerry's been AWOL for two decades on issues of National Security!)
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To: sauropod
There was a man and his son on Fox - Fox & Friends, I think, about a year ago. I wonder is this is the same man.
110 posted on 03/06/2004 12:43:13 PM PST by mathluv (Protect my grandchildren's future. Vote for Bush/Cheney '04.)
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To: Burkeman1
But for you and yours- too honest I suspect.

What a bizarre statement. Who, exactly, is 'me and mine?' And what makes you think 'me and mine' aren't honest?

Actually, I like calling it a Department of War, and I like calling Rumsfeld a Secretary of War.

He's a good one too.

111 posted on 03/06/2004 12:54:16 PM PST by ohioWfan (BUSH 2004 - Leadership, Integrity, Morality)
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To: MEG33
Actually, it is a backhanded compliment to be insulted by one of little courage or character.
112 posted on 03/06/2004 12:55:19 PM PST by ohioWfan (BUSH 2004 - Leadership, Integrity, Morality)
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To: NYC GOP Chick
You get those too eh? Along with ads for the Paris Hilton video.
113 posted on 03/06/2004 1:01:18 PM PST by sauropod (I intend to have Red Kerry choke on his past.)
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To: ohioWfan
Amen.I rather like the Secretary of War and the War Department .They changed it after WW2.
114 posted on 03/06/2004 1:03:33 PM PST by MEG33 (John Kerry's been AWOL for two decades on issues of National Security!)
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To: Old Professer
I see that. But its a damn sight better than it could have been.
115 posted on 03/06/2004 1:03:58 PM PST by sauropod (I intend to have Red Kerry choke on his past.)
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To: Burkeman1; billbears
I think the faulty premise is that service is looked upon as "noble" or as a "moral obligation" regardless of the reason or the cause. Those who went along without question in every unconstitutional military conflict in U.S. history (e.g., Bosnia) are considered "noble" because they "did their duty." Those who refuse to take part, whether on moral or constitutional grounds, are considered unpatriotic cowards who don't deserve to live. It seems people will think or say anything to set their minds at ease.

The problem is that no one ever bothers to stop and question why our sons and daughters are dying. Why did we fight in places like Vietnam and Somalia? How were we made safer? Were U.S. troops really defending our freedoms in those situations? Since our country continued to flourish despite being unsuccessful in those conflicts, does that mean they died in vain? These are tough questions, but they are ones that need to be asked - otherwise we may never see an end to it.

116 posted on 03/06/2004 1:05:54 PM PST by sheltonmac ("Duty is ours; consequences are God's." -Gen. Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson)
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To: sheltonmac
The problem is that no one ever bothers to stop and question why our sons and daughters are dying.

This is an absurd statement that is patently untrue.

Do you think everyone in a military family is an idiot?

117 posted on 03/06/2004 1:08:32 PM PST by ohioWfan (BUSH 2004 - Leadership, Integrity, Morality)
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To: sheltonmac
One can be anti war without insulting the vets,the military or their families.
118 posted on 03/06/2004 1:13:50 PM PST by MEG33 (John Kerry's been AWOL for two decades on issues of National Security!)
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To: ohioWfan
How is it an absurd statement? I never hear professing conservatives question why we went into places like Vietnam or Somalia, much less admit that it might have been wrong to do so.
119 posted on 03/06/2004 1:26:52 PM PST by sheltonmac ("Duty is ours; consequences are God's." -Gen. Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson)
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To: MEG33
How is what I said insulting? I believe the questions I posed are serious and need to be addressed. You don't agree?
120 posted on 03/06/2004 1:29:58 PM PST by sheltonmac ("Duty is ours; consequences are God's." -Gen. Thomas "Stonewall" Jackson)
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