I cannot find the words. This man was my FRIEND. Not my buddy, not someone I knew from the Internet, but my FRIEND.
My heart is aching. It hurts to breathe.
I haven't been on the board much lately. Too much other stuff going on in life. Was gonna sit down and send him a PM to see if he wanted to go shooting tomorrow, since I now have the day off. Haven't seen him in a few months and was feeling bad about that. Now I won't get to.
DAMMIT ALL!
I wish those of you who never had the privelege of meeting Alan Albertus would have. He was quite the remarkable fellow. I'm pretty sure if you open up your dictionary and find the term "laid back", there'll be a pic of my buddy in there somewhere.
Until you started messing with his family or his freedom, of course. Then he'd pull a serious Jekyll and Hyde on you.
The world is a seriously lesser place than it used to be.
I remember the first time I met him in person: at a TRT rally (of course). I was out here in Colorado on leave from Virginia, and the Brady Bunch was getting together in Denver. It was decided that would be a nice time for the TRT to "get together" as well, and since I happened to be here I trekked on down and joined in. I had swapped several e-mails with Al in weeks prior (since I was moving to within spitting distance and wanted to get to know him in person once I got here), and he told me to "look for the tall, skinny dude" at the rally and that'd be him. Since he stood about 6'6" and probably weighed 150 lbs. or so, he was pretty hard to miss.
Then (finally) came my move out here for good, and we struck up a solid friendship pretty much immediately. I remember being between jobs for a little while, and he knew I was down about it so he dragged me out for a camping trip out by Cripple Creek on the west side of Pike's Peak. Him, me, and one of his dogs piled up in that Toyota pickup of his and off we went. Trucked up about an hour and a half and made camp. Cut up some wood (Al cheated and brought the chain-saw, but I was cool with it) and got a fire going, and Al cooked some steaks on his little propane grill. It was COLD that night, and the wind was blowing. And here I am, originally from Texas and having lived in Virginia for 10 years, and I'm freezing my hindparts off. So he's got this nifty little bag for me to sleep in, except I'm about 50 lbs. too heavy for it. But I managed to get in it eventually, and avoided sleeping in the truck (I think he would have ribbed me about that, and I wasn't gonna let him). Next morning we went rabbit hunting, and after three hours of neither of us getting anything, we packed up and headed home. That whole episode still makes me smile, and it made him laugh when we'd talk about it, too.
He got me interested in reloading, and I've still got a box of .308 rounds for my rifle that he and I loaded up at his place. He had a setup that was second-to-none. RCBS press on one end of the bench, and a Dillon progressive on the other. And a closet FULL of reloads. He didn't really own that many different firearms from what I ever saw, but he could have shot each of them for a week straight and still have had ammo left over.
Trips to the Sportsman's Warehouse, and wishing we each had $10,000 or so of spare change lying around. Days at the range trying to relieve some of the sag in the closet floor.
Not enough of either. Not by a long shot.
I need to get to sleep, but I'm afraid it's gonna be impossible. And Al's not there at 2 AM like he has been so many times before.
You ever lose a friend and have it hurt more than losing all but your closest family members? Can someone get this weight off my chest please?
Hopefully I can track Crystal down tomorrow (later today?), and find out if she needs anything. They were so wrapped up in each other that it was sometimes hard to figure out where one left off and the other started.
He was prone to rambling, both on the 'Net and in person. I laughed a little when I read fivetoes talking about the "hours-long conversations". If you've ever been involved in a "talk" with Al via THR or TFL, you can rest assured that he was the SAME WAY in person. I'm gonna miss that rambling of his something fierce. I guess in a way I'm sort of borrowing it from him for this post.
And be passionate about things. Al never half-assed anything. It was either leave it alone or full speed ahead.
Folks, don't pull a Bob.
That friend of yours who you haven't called or written to or gone to see in a while? Get to it.
Don't get caught in front of your computer late one night with tears in your eyes and fingers that won't cooperate lamenting the passing of a friend that you've neglected for so long that it becomes too late and you run out of opportunities.