sNIDe Remarks:Now here's a debate we can all watch

The Coeur d'Alene Press ^ | Friday, Oct 08, 2004 - 12:25:31 am PDT | Marty Fortier

[alexandria]

Wives step up to podium

First of all, before I get to today's topic, I'd like to apologize for running a "Best of Snide Remarks" last week. I realize you'd probably seen that column before, but I needed a break, and a little fishing in Washington really did the trick.

Anyway, it was great to spend some time outdoors; my batteries are recharged, and I'm ready to go.

It's presidential debate season, and you know what? Who the hell cares? We've already heard it all -- all the accusations, all the name calling, and all the grandiose promises. And let's face it; except for a couple of jabs here and there, the debates are pretty civil. After all, both candidates were born wealthy, went to Yale, and are members of the same secret society. So how ugly can it get, really?

There is, however, one debate the entire country would watch. Why? Well, because it features the single most exciting thing that a debate could offer: unpredictability. That's right. And that's why I would like to see a debate between First Lady Laura Bush and Tereza Heinz-Kerry.

Wouldn't it be great? I can just picture the beginning of the debate: As they both enter the stage, Laura would walk over and offer Tereza freshly baked Toll House cookies and Tereza would tell her to "shove it."

Tereza goes first and is asked her opinion of President Bush. When she's finished the moderator says to Laura, "Well, what do you have to say about that, Mrs. Bush?"

"I'm not sure what she meant by scumbag, but it didn't sound very nice."

Of course the only way to make the debate fair would be to give Laura the same amount of Lithium or tequila, or whatever it is Tereza is on.

[alexandria]

Didn't see this posted anywhere after searching.
This was almost as funny as the large red Chevy truck I saw this AM on the highway. On the tailgate the owner had painted a white square 2' x 3' and then had added in large block lettering, "Liberalisim is a mental illness."

I almost spewed coffee all over my dashboard.

[conservative cat]

"AN IDIOT MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY!"

Classic.

[ConservativeConvert]

Need some wood?

- George W. Bush

[Unemployed Capitalist]

That was the best line in the debate... BBBWWWAAAAHHHHA!

wish he had said something like- "Another example of facts from the DEMS"

[Dr Snide]

oh I thought I was famous for a minute there

[alexandria]

"AN IDIOT MARRIED YOU FOR YOUR MONEY!"

Classic.

If you like that line, check out a previous editorial from the same author here called "Bubba on the run -- from Hillary"
http://www.cdapress.com/articles/2004/09/17/columns/columns06.txt