UK taking back USA. NOTICE OF REVOCATION OF INDEPENDENCE

by e-mail | some time ago | Basil Fawlty (or John Cleese)

[asp1]

No my city friend, I am just sick and tired of all of the criticism, put downs, and sarcasm that come from Europe. Sick and tired of the hate that flows to my country, my people, and my president from that soon to be third-world cesspool called Europe.

P. S. I was born in Brooklyn and grew up in Queens. Nothing too soft here. LOL! :o)

[steplock]

any such action would simply merit instant death to the perpetrator.

[IronJack]

I guess by Great Britain I meant the nations of the Commonwealth. Frankly, I've felt for years that we should simply annex Canada and use it for cold storage anyway. And Australia looks like a fun place to hang out during North American winters.

I suspect the Scots, Irish, and Welsh might have some misgivings about tossing in with the English this time around.

[asp1]

That reminds me I have an appointment for the 25th. Thanks for the reminder! :o)

[Billthedrill]

OKOKOK, I'll go salvage your dang tea. You can keep Boston, though. Except for the "rounders" team.

[anonymoussierra]

I do not know that is good what you write that is like write my country Poland do not know what is light :}} America good country know what is good what is not good I do know what you write I do not know why Thank you

[ABG(anybody but Gore)]

British sit-coms such as "Men Behaving Badly" or "Red Dwarf" will not be re-cast and watered down for a wishy-washy American audience who can't cope with the humour of occasional political incorrectness.

Hear, hear! Both of those shows were absolutely hysterical, while the Hollywood version of "Men Behaving Badly" was atrocious. Another one that was disastrously redone was "Coupling". The BBC version is pretty funny. NBC's knockoff was canceled after two episodes it was so bad.

And God forbid they should try and redo "Red Dwarf"! That's the day we should nuke Hollyweird and be done with it. ;^)

[RinaseaofDs]

It is funny.

The brits really can't cook. I agree with Mike Myers that all Scotish cuisine seems based on a dare.

I'll also point out that the airplane, the phone, the light bulb, the transistor, the sewing machine, the assembly line, and the car were all products of us stupid gits.

I'll give up football if they can justify multiple 8 hour days spent at a cricket test. Grown men protecting tinker toys with a flat bat, and other lazy sods drunk in what little summer sunlight the UK actually gets puking in appreciation.

We may like fast food, and we may have small vocabularies, but something we don't have here that they have there:

Soccer hooligans.

Soccer, a game where 0-0 ties are considered classic.

Alas, I do feel despite our differences a kinship with our yellow-toothed fore fathers from across the pond, and so I loudly grumble my approval of them from the back bench during the question period.

[Uncle Fud]

4 and 14 sound like pretty good ideas to me.

[trisham]

You will no longer be allowed to own or carry guns. You will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous in public than a vegetable peeler. Because we don't believe you are sensible enough to handle potentially dangerous items, you will require a permit if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 2nd will be a new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Indecisive Day."

********************

I recall with fondness the days when I thought John Cleese to be amusing.

[Gucho]

"To the citizens of the United States of America, in the light of your failure to elect a competent President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective today."

Easy to answer - "BITE ME TURKEY"

[TASMANIANRED]

Notice to John Cleese and all the rest of the Euroweenies.

We didn't ask permission.

[Plutarch]

This is comedy. I'm beginning to think American conservatives can't take a joke.

I like Cleese. This is funny stuff. He singes, but doesn't burn.

[Codename - Ron Benjamin]

Of course you realize, this means war...

[Dog Gone]

It's reasonably amusing, but I imagine it was intended for a British email audience.

[spodefly]

As long as we don't have to start eating British 'food'.

[mhking]

6. You should stop playing American "football." There is only one kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.

[Porterville]

How gay. What a very Euro-pu$$y thing to write.

[Grut]

Couldn't find anything about this specifically in snopes.com but they do say that a similar message attributed to John Cleese was a hoax and that he doesn't write political satire. So this is probably an internet hoax.