Posted on 05/03/2005 2:10:11 PM PDT by EveningStar
President Bush: Thank you and good evening. I always look forward to these dinners, where I'm supposed to be funny — intentionally. I'm really looking forward to hearing Cedric the Entertainer. I kind of think of myself that way.
Cedric, did you hear that hilarious line I ad-libbed down in Arkansas? A woman in a town meeting told me she was from DeQueen, and I said, 'That's right next to DeKing.' You gotta' admit that's pretty good, Cedric. That's what you call sophisticated re — par — tay.
Then out in Montana, I told a joke about a cattle guard, which, to be honest, didn't get a very big laugh — actually, none. But Cedric, I think you'll appreciate this, and you can use it if you want to. See, there was this city slicker who was driving around lost and he came across this ol' cowboy. And so the city slicker asked the old guy how to get to the nearest town, and — First Lady Laura Bush: Not that old joke — not again. Ladies and gentlemen, I've been attending these dinners for years and just quietly sitting there. Well, I've got a few things I want to say for a change. This is going to be fun because he really doesn't have a clue about what I'm gonna' to say next. George always says he's delighted to come to these press dinners. Baloney. He's usually in bed by now. I'm not kidding. I said to him the other day, "George, if you really want to end tyranny in the world, you're going to have to stay up later." I am married to the president of the United States, and here's our typical evening: Nine o'clock, Mr. Excitement here is sound asleep, and I'm watching Desperate Housewives— with Lynne Cheney. Ladies and gentlemen, I am a desperate housewife. I mean, if those women on that show think they're desperate, they oughta be with George. One night, after George went to bed, Lynne Cheney, Condi Rice, Karen Hughes and I went to Chippendale's. I wouldn't even mention it except Ruth Ginsberg and Sandra Day O'Connor saw us there. I won't tell you what happened, but Lynne's Secret Service codename is now "Dollar Bill." But George and I are complete opposites — I'm quiet, he's talkative, I'm introverted, he's extroverted, I can pronounce nuclear — The amazing thing, however, is that George and I were just meant to be. I was the librarian who speant 12 hours a day in the library, yet somehow I met George. We met, and married, and I became one of the regulars up at Kennebunkport. All the Bushes love Kennebunkport, which is like Crawford, but without the nightlife. People ask me what it's like to be up there with the whole Bush clan. Lemme put it this way: First prize — three-day vacation with the Bush family. Second prize — 10 days. Speaking of prizes brings me to my mother-in-law. So many mothers today are just not involved in their children's lives — Not a problem with Barbara Bush. People often wonder what my mother-in-law's really like. People think she's a sweet, grandmotherly, Aunt Bea type. She's actually more like, mmm, Don Corleone. Cedric, am I doing all right? I saw my in-laws down at the ranch over Easter. We like it down there. George didn't know much about ranches when we bought the place. Andover and Yale don't have a real strong ranching program. But I'm proud of George. He's learned a lot about ranching since that first year when he tried to milk the horse. What's worse, it was a male horse. Now, of course, he spends his days clearing brush, cutting trails, taking down trees, or, as the girls call it, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. George's answer to any problem at the ranch is to cut it down with a chainsaw — which I think is why he and Cheney and Rumsfeld get along so well. It's always very interesting to see how the ranch air invigorates people when they come down from Washington. Recently, when Vice President Cheney was down, he got up early one morning, he put on his hiking boots, and he went on a brisk, 20- to 30-foot walk. But actually, in all seriousness, I do love the ranch, and I love the whole Bush family. I was an only child, and when I married into the extended Bush clan, I got brothers and sisters and wonderful in-laws, all of whom opened their arms to me. And included in the package, I got this guy here. I think when you marry someone, you unconsciously are looking for something in your spouse to help fulfill something in you, and George did that for me. He brought fun and energy into my life and so many other things. George is a very good listener, he's easy to be around, and on top of it all, he's a loving father whose daughters absolutely adore him. So in the future, when you see me just quietly sitting up here, I want you to know that I'm happy to be here for a reason — I love, and enjoy being with, the man who usually speaks to you on these occasions. So George and I thank you for inviting us, thank you for all of the good work that you and the press do, and thank you for your very kind hospitality this evening.
The only ones taking offense to Laura's jokes were the far left and the far right, either way you're in the minority.
If your words are indistinguishable from that of which a troll would post it says more about you than it does about how it is received by us who really support the president and his wife.
By slandering the first lady you disgrace yourself.
And for that there is no excuse.
You are in denial, symptomatic of a cult, so you lie to yourself and the world.
Sigh...so many moose bitten sisters, so little time.
lol :) Hello SoVaDPJ how are you today?
If Teresa Heinz Kerry had said the same thing, you and howlin would be castigating and villifying her for days : )
No, there was nothing that bad about Mrs. Bush trying to impress a bunch of left wing lumps, but it was so out of character for her, that it didn't work. Laura has grace and class....she is not a stand up comedian.
We thought she had grace and class. She exposed herself in public for who she really is. According to her, and in her own words, she is a desperate housewife whose husband neglects her at night so she compensates by visiting male strippers.
This part: You don't have any idea what Malkin's standards are! If you think you know, tell me what her standards are, and how she violated them. I dare you. Don't chicken out.
Malkin's standards:I'd rather be a G-rated conservative...
Malkin's standards:Self-censorship is a conservative value. In a brilliant commencement speech at Hillsdale College last year Heritage Foundation president Ed Feulner called on his audience to resist the coarsened rhetoric of our time: "If we are to prevail as a free, self-governing people, we must first govern our tongues and our pens. Restoring civility to public discourse is not an option. It is a necessity.
Gee that was tough.
Those are her direct quotes. It couldn't be more clear what she is saying -- what her standards are. They are good standards.
Contrast that to her displayed mail bag on her website filled with crude vulgar references. I know she didn't write the vulgarities. That's not the point. She perpetuated the vulgarities of others for no good reason. She could have easily displayed, the phrase "explicative deleted" instead of displaying those vulgarities without changing the meaning of those nasty e-mails that were sent to her. She could have done what both you, I and almost everybody here at FreeRepublic does when they wish to convey a vulgarity. We star-out some of the letters.
She didn't do this -- and it was her very complaint about Laura Bush.
Hey, there are a lot more important things in life than worrying about vulgarities. But my original point about hypocracy remains.
Do you know what gratuitous means?
Me:Armstrong wasn't paid by the White House. Armstrong was paid by a Communications company that was employed by the Department of Education.
You:It's shameful to pretend that you are an independent commentator when you are being secretly paid to promote policy.
Me:Armstrong was paid to run advertisements on his Radio show. Armstrong wasn't paid to promote policy on the non advertising portion of his show. Paid advertisements by their nature are not -- secret.
I will now prove that what I was saying was true. I'll use direct quotes from Armstrong Williams.
Direct quotes from Armstrong Williams;
Oh the horror.
That's all he did. But, sadly, after a barrage of propaganda from the left and even the right, I'm afraid Armstrong succumbs to what is politically correct.
Enough of the graveling Armstrong. Now imagine Rush Limbaugh or any other normal pundit on the air excepting advertising dollars to run political adds for Republican candidates during the election. Then imagine Rush Limbaugh and all the others, in the non-advertisement portion of their show saying honestly that they support the same candidate. Whoop-ti-do!
With all due respect, it seems to me that you black conservatives feel that you need to bend over backwards to appear fair.
Give yourself a break.
Oh, and if you wish to defame Armstrong Williams, you should do so with direct, named quotes from either people who have seen the Armstrong contract or people who are directly involved.
Your long cut and paste articles are just regurgitated unnamed sources originated from the left and sent to us from supposed critically thinking conservative websites such as Malkin's.
I dare you to find direct quotes that support your accusations.
"And an unintended consquence of the near take-over of FR by the extremist right is that I, a former so far to the right I was called Atilla the Hun, have moved to the center and a MUCH more moderate position. There is NO way I want to be associated with the extremists on the right. They are an embarrassment. And the left, well, they are dangerous. So what's left? The middle. An unintended consequence that the Holier than Thou brigade has caused".
I couldn't agree more. These overzealous cultural conservatives are an embarrasment.
"We thought she had grace and class. She exposed herself in public for who she really is. According to her, and in her own words, she is a desperate housewife whose husband neglects her at night so she compensates by visiting male strippers."
Please tell me you aren't serious?
You're still an extreme conservative.
I have recently came to the conclusion that there is no "economic" or "social" spectrum of politics. There is only one spectrum: anarchy (including anarcho-capitalism) on one end and totalitarianism on the other end.
Just like we find that many of the liberals' economic programs require massive sacrifices of freedom to implement effectively, we also find that many of the social conservative laws require massive amounts of money to enforce effectively (although many social conservatives themselves do not realize this).
Indeed, if you take a good close look at those posters, you will find that they side with the European socialists on many economic issues, particularly Free Trade and Protectionism.
You're still a right wing extremist. They're the ones who're liberal.
Regards, NX
Well, when you put it that way, you're probably right :-)
Bumping up for those who missed the brouhaha...hahahaha.
This was a popular thread--15,295+ views
Many still coming to grips with "Milking the Horse"
(by HairOfTheDog)
Shameless self-promotion. ;)
Correct :~D
The smut loving CINOs are an embarrasment.
"I have recently came to the conclusion that there is no "economic" or "social" spectrum of politics. There is only one spectrum: anarchy (including anarcho-capitalism) on one end and totalitarianism on the other end."
You came to an erroneous conclusion.
"many of the social conservative laws require massive amounts of money to enforce effectively "
For instance?
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