"I've had the dubious pleasure of having had lunch with Red Ken once long ago along with my professor from my university. It took all of my self control to not throttle the man then and there. Perhaps I should be damned for not having done the deed."
How about a strongly worded, "Dang you, Ivan for missing your opportunity to rid the world of a POS!"
Still waiting for the news conference. If those reporters start in whining, I think they should tell them they are going to be arrested for sedition.