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Why Im Divorced And why youre next
hartford advocate.com ^ | August 25, 2005 | by Annabel Lee

Posted on 08/30/2005 10:14:07 PM PDT by tbird5

I've seen two movies lately, one very funny ( Wedding Crashers ) and one infuriatingly stupid ( Must Love Dogs ), but both baffling in their lockstep to happily-ever-afterland. Why does romantic love, the kind that doesn't occur in life except fleetingly and disappointingly, still play to the crowds? I give the impecunious boat-builder and the petit bourgeois schoolteacher five years at the outside -- he's not going to keep her in end-tables. And Daddy's Little Girl will have ditched the immature arriviste long before that.

Why, in an era when men and women can barely achieve détente, in a First World where everyone suffers from attachment disorder, are we still ponying up for marriage? On the HBO series Six Feet Under a show I adore because all the characters behave abominably at all times, yet never manage to have more than a millisecond of fun men and women can't stay married or remain faithful from one week to the next. We're not quite that bad, we HBO viewers, but we're getting there.

I'm no historian, but it doesn't take a Paul Johnson (author of A History of the American People ) to tell us why it's so hard to stay married. We live too long. Marriage is a naturally polarizing process that causes one person to detest, over time, what the other person loves. Only after a couple divorces do they move back toward the center, where their interest in one another began. (I knew a man who left his wife because of the endless chintz and throw pillows. I went to visit him once in his new Bauhaus apartment, but he couldn't really talk he was too distracted by trying to choose the right tassels for his new Salamandre curtains.)

(Excerpt) Read more at hartfordadvocate.com ...


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: divorce; schadenfreude; themarriagebubble
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To: flashbunny
she sounds like a truly miserable person.

She's just drunk on Amontillado

21 posted on 08/30/2005 10:53:24 PM PDT by Right Brother
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To: tbird5

Marriage, like democracy, is not for wimps!


22 posted on 08/30/2005 10:56:27 PM PDT by truemiester (The USA is the highest expression of civilization and culture the world has ever seen!)
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To: Gabz

LOL, I'm truly sorry. Heh heh heh...

Take care.


23 posted on 08/30/2005 11:00:24 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (US socialist liberalism would be dead without the help of politicians who claim to be conservative.)
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To: CharlesWayneCT
Once you realise you are stuck and simply HAVE to make it work, the rest is all downhill.

Downhill as in "easy," or downhill as in "increasingly depressing?"

24 posted on 08/30/2005 11:02:54 PM PDT by Jess Kitting
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To: tbird5
Call me insightful...

After crawling halfway through the editorial, sinking deeper and deeper into her cynical wading-pool of cow crap, I'm just going to call her a miserable, self-absorbed, over-thinking b!tch.

She seems like that kind of woman who wants to hyper-talk every aspect of her emotional life in hushed, serious tones.  Like anyone can give a rat's a$$ every minute they're within reach of the melodramatic vomit that gushes out of her mouth.  

I guarantee that almost no one on the planet can stand being friends with her.

I despise this type of woman...much the same way I despise guys who can't help but hit on, or cat call, every chick they find the least bit attractive.

It's the same over-indulgence mental sickness that manifests itself differently in each of the sexes.

25 posted on 08/30/2005 11:03:06 PM PDT by Psycho_Bunny (Every evil which liberals imagine Judaism and Christianity to be, islam is.)
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To: tbird5

Speak for yourself sweetie. You can stay single and bitter. One wonders if that's why your man dumped your bitter self.


26 posted on 08/30/2005 11:04:02 PM PDT by cyborg (I'm having the best day ever.)
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To: Kryptonite
Thanks. I'd like to think I learned, but would have to admit I just married a more compatible mate. She's patient and a self-assured person. I scored...
27 posted on 08/30/2005 11:04:03 PM PDT by DoughtyOne (US socialist liberalism would be dead without the help of politicians who claim to be conservative.)
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To: tbird5

I may be wrong here, but tell me this isn't a new literary form: drunken bitter chick. You known the type, they sit down next to you in a bar (or sometimes a cross country flight) and the next thing you know, you're being treated to in-depth descriptions of every indignity or slight that she's ever sustained.


28 posted on 08/30/2005 11:04:07 PM PDT by durasell
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To: Squantos

Bitter old sow ain't she? He probably said WOO HOO! it's over.


29 posted on 08/30/2005 11:04:54 PM PDT by cyborg (I'm having the best day ever.)
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To: tbird5

Good heavens. I hope the newspaper pays for her upcoming years of therapy. Or maybe they should just lock her up and be done with it.

Marriage isn't a piece of cake, but if both people have the ongoing commitment, there's no reason it can't work. We've been married about 15 years now, lived through hellish circumstances for part of that, and although things were rough a year or two ago, I'd say that now, in a way, we're closer than we've ever been.

It's not the blazing passion of being newly married, but a better, settled, warm, confident, deep affection that comes from having lived through hell together and decided that if you have to go through hell -- or heaven -- well, there's no one on earth you'd have by your side.


30 posted on 08/30/2005 11:05:40 PM PDT by Luke Skyfreeper
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To: tbird5

This chick ought to go marry Modo....then they can be miserable together but at least they would have someone that the other would sleep with.


31 posted on 08/30/2005 11:07:18 PM PDT by trubluolyguy (Warning: Exposure to the SON may PREVENT burning.)
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To: cyborg

Hey Now ....don't you pick up any bad ideas this close to yer wedding day !!........:o)

Get off this thread Young Lady !!!


32 posted on 08/30/2005 11:10:55 PM PDT by Squantos (Be polite. Be professional. But, have a plan to kill everyone you meet. )
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To: DoughtyOne

LOL!!!!

No need to apologize :)

My first "marriage" was HORRIBLE...........I'm married for a second time, but now I have a MARRIAGE........very large difference.

Take care.


33 posted on 08/30/2005 11:11:04 PM PDT by Gabz (USSG Warning: portable sewing machines are known to cause broken ankles)
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To: Squantos

Oh yeah hehehe. You're invited squantos. Just don't try to spice up the punch ;-)


34 posted on 08/30/2005 11:12:07 PM PDT by cyborg (I'm having the best day ever.)
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To: DTogo

What she's saying is she was too smart to stay married. She's so smart she's miserable. That if anyone can stay married to one person year after year, then they must be idiots.


35 posted on 08/30/2005 11:13:04 PM PDT by coconutt2000 (NO MORE PEACE FOR OIL!!! DOWN WITH TYRANTS, TERRORISTS, AND TIMIDCRATS!!!! (3-T's For World Peace))
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To: tbird5

It is no wonder why the author of this article is divorced.


36 posted on 08/30/2005 11:13:05 PM PDT by msnimje
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To: Luke Skyfreeper

Great post!!!!!!!!!


37 posted on 08/30/2005 11:13:17 PM PDT by Gabz (USSG Warning: portable sewing machines are known to cause broken ankles)
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To: trubluolyguy

Aw! She expresses how some of us feel right now. The rest of you were lucky, so don't forbid us the enjoyment of the writer's humor or her protrayal of harsh but somehow comforting reality. The lady has a point.


38 posted on 08/30/2005 11:16:07 PM PDT by dimmer-rats stealvotes (We Conservatives Never Give Up!)
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To: dimmer-rats stealvotes
The lady has a point.

which is? I don't understand.

39 posted on 08/30/2005 11:17:24 PM PDT by Gabz (USSG Warning: portable sewing machines are known to cause broken ankles)
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To: tbird5
This woman does not understand how it works in the long run.

My wife and I have had our rough spots, but we realize we are pals, best friends, determined to make the best for us and our little corner of the world. We are bound together by the love of cats, knowledge, books, and truth, and we are bound together by a common hate of people such as the Clintons and their coterie of liars, apologists and criminal obstructionists, plus the unprincipled, condescending, lying crooks in the lamestream media and the left wing political machine.

I highly recommend hating the same people and groups as a solid foundation of marriage. Try it, you'll love it!

40 posted on 08/30/2005 11:20:54 PM PDT by SFConservative
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