Iowahawk: Tookie the Ducky Beats The Rap

iowahawk | 12/12/05 | Dave Burge

[IowaHawk]

A Golden Book Classic
By Stanley "Tookie" Williams

Once upon a time, down a bright sunny alley behind a magical cottage in a faraway kingdom called Compton, lived a little quacky ducky named Tookie. Tookie was brave and strong and all of the other duckies knew to respect him, because otherwise Tookie and his friend Sammy Sawed-Off would mess you up bad, understand?

One day, Tookie was feeling very, very sad, because he had run out of Kools. "Who will help me get my Kools?" he said. "I will help you get your Kools!" said Blackie. So Tookie and Blackie drove to the 7-Eleven in Tookie's Monte Carlo.

"Give me some Kools!" Tookie asked Clerky Ducky. Clerky Ducky gave him the Kools, but he was very very slow, so Tookie greased the quacker with Sammy Sawed-Off. "Boom!" said Sammy.

"Ha ha!" laughed Tookie. "Listen to Clerky's funny sounds! Gurgle gurgle gurgle!"

"S***, Took, you one crazy *ss muthaducka," said Blackie, who was so scared he dropped his Big Gulp.

--------------------------

For the rest of Tookie's heartwarming children's story, Click Here

[IowaHawk]

Choosy Newsies Choose Iowahawk

[Gritty]

Great story, but your version had an unhappy ending.

The REAL story had a very happy ending. Tookie got basted and ended up with 5% liquid added!

[vista500]

)Oh, David(

And, you still have that creative, improvisional "way-about-you"...

You Come into my comedic background...my own ovarian birth beyond even my screaming expectations...my boring present life as an ex-Freeper State "Mojo"....my jazz improvisational "kings-of the hill"... alas...I was one the truly most evied sidemen on the Chicago scene...(Perhaps it was the BJ's)....but...I would never accuse you of anything close to that, as the give us the real story of what's going' down!!

But I remember when you graced us with your one visit to our drink-fest and tribal get-together...

I was even then, just one of the enamored throng when you personally injected your creative "stream-of-consciousness",
and, to our amassed, forthright congregation of Freeper Cabage-Patch Dolls!!

...you made, one hell of a lot of sense...and you still do...

Perhaps, not to the ENTIRE group of Patriots....

But at least to those of us on Medicaid..or is that, Medicare???

[yer gonna put yer eye out]

Very inventive...

[gaijin]

Almost peed my pants, laughing.

[hang 'em]

Great story. Kinda reminds me of that old joke about "Needle-Duck the Book Faker"

[martin_fierro]

[68skylark]

Thanks!

If anyone wants the latest Iowahawk news from Iraq, I can strongly recommend: I'm Surrounded By Idiots, Iowahawk Guest Commentary by Abu Musab Al-Zarqawi.