Posted on 01/10/2006 7:53:01 AM PST by WrightOnTarget
Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the Senate confirmation hearings of Judge Samuel Alito. Glad to have you with us today. The Senate Judiciary Committee is just about ready to get this one underway.
Lots of bad blood coming into this one. The Republicans are fresh off a disappointment as Tom DeLay has just stepped down as House Majority Leader, and then came the tragic news that Rhode Island Sen. Lincoln Chafee would not leave the GOP.
As for the Democrats, they are still stinging from losses in the last two presidential elections and the defeat of Sen. Tom Daschle. That said, the recent successful blocking of a full renewal of the Patriot Act and drilling in the Arctic, George Soros' huge checkbook combined with growing senility, and a climbing body count in Iraq have given the Donkey Party renewed positive energy and vigor.
"ConfirMania I" back in September was a lopsided win for Judge John Roberts, along with Bush and the Republicans, so let's see if the Democrats can bounce back. Should be a good match-up, and Judiciary Committee Chair Arlen Specter will get it underway right after this quick word from our sponsor, "Fence-sitters Sports Bar."
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OK, we're back.
The Republicans have just completed their warm-ups. After Specter, the rest of the GOP lineup for today includes Hatch, Grassley, Kyl, DeWine, Sessions, Graham, Cornyn, Brownback and committee member and team doctor Tom Coburn.
By the way, Orrin Hatch has asked us to mention that he'll be selling and signing copies of his CD "Heal our Land" in the lobby after today's match.
The Republican game plan in these situations is to lay back and play a zone defense, which is puzzling to some considering that they have more players on the field. Democrats are expected to employ the usual "spend but don't break" strategy.
Speaking of the Democrats, here they are entering the chamber right now, led by a staffer waving the traditional "If abortions are outlawed, only outlaws will be allowed to screw around with a Kennedy" flag which proudly flies at all judicial confirmation events. Trailing Team Democrat is Republican Sen. John McCain, who isn't involved in the hearings but is aggressively trying to get one of the committee Democrats to co-sponsor a bill to regulate something.
Today, the Democrats will put up Leahy, Kennedy, Biden, Kohl, Feinstein, Feingold, Schumer and Durbin to try to stop the Republican judicial juggernaut. Sen. Leahy, who has surrounded more leaks than Pampers, will be challenged with proving that Alito would overturn Roe vs. Wade. Kohl will be translating Kennedy's questions into lucid English, and Dick Durbin is expected to present photographic evidence obtained by Dan Rather showing that Judge Alito was an active participant at Abu Ghraib.
Experts say that Ted Kennedy is the man to watch here, folks. Big Ted compromises nothing, with the possible exception of the architectural integrity of the floor joists.
We apologize, but the start of the action has been delayed a bit. Due to a challenge issued to Judge Alito by California Sen. Barbara Boxer early this morning concerning his position on abortion, the swearing in of Alito has been moved back 10 minutes. By midmorning, Boxer did allow Alito to get out of his car and come into the Senate building to prepare for today's match.
The opening coin-toss will be presided over by honorary captains, Democrat Sen. Frank Lautenberg and former Republican Gov. Christie Whitman, both representing New Jersey, Judge Alito's home state.
It is tradition for the toss to be performed by a nominee's home state senators, but Democrat Sen. Jon Corzine, elected New Jersey's governor in November after spending more than $30 million, declined an invitation to attend after being informed that he would not be allowed to keep the coin.
We're just about to get this one underway now. The crowd has grown eerily quiet, and the senators on the committee are nervous and antsy. That's bound to be the case all day, as Jack Abramoff has just taken his seat in the audience.
It's been a busy week here in Washington, with investigators prying information from former mega-lobbyist Abramoff with false promises of leniency. The mantra of federal investigators – "Jack Abramoff, and then throw him in jail" – has everybody here nervous. This could have a more than subliminal effect on today's confirmation match up.
The committee is ready, and the nominee is ready. Let's get ready to grumble!
Hahaha!
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