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Open Editorial: You Named Your Baby WHAT???
Onyx Magazine ^ | March, 2006 | Josephine Hammond

Posted on 03/30/2006 12:41:35 PM PST by twippo

Someone needs to sit our people down and have a healthy discussion about the names we as African Americans are giving our children. We are hurting our kids and putting their futures in peril from the moment they are born.

That’s right, I said it. We are KILLING our kids and crippling their futures with the names we give them. Don’t you want your kids to get JOBS someday? Good jobs, and serious careers? With a name like Jaquez Ja’Quan Diante’, you’re dooming your sons to a life of drug dealing on some seedy street corner.

Our Black men face enough challenges. I do not subscribe to the notion that we are giving our children names that “convey pride in their African Heritage”. We’re way off the mark. I’ve got dear friends from all over Africa, and their children have beautiful cultural names like Akos, Ama, and Fia.

Notice how neither of those names had a “quita” in it? Or an “eisha”? Or more than four syllables? That’s because even in the motherland, they don’t give their kids the crazy names that we do in Black America. Many Africans even RESENT the implication that these names stem from their culture. I’ve yet to meet anyone from any African nation named Shaquandiniquah Takei’sha, or any other of the ‘colorful’ monikers we’re pinning on brand new precious lives.

Parents, we are stacking the odds against our children from birth. We’ve been doing it for generations, but we get mighty cross when white and mainstream America laughs and mocks us. With a name like Quieshianiquita (I know, I can’t pronounce it either), you’re dooming your children to employment at no better than a dollar store or the nearest fast-food joint.

You are automatically relegated in the minds of many to second-class citizenry, because when they hear the name, they instantly categorize you as ignorant, ghetto, incompetent, uneducated, and not worthy of much respect or basic human considerations.

We hear so often about African American students who excel in school, etc. and “beat the odds.” Well, guess what? Often times, the “odds they have to beat” is the tough challenge of being taken seriously in America with the atrocious name you gave them...names like Jaqui’sheia Sha’qu’an Tai’isha. If they can get someone to look past the name (and quit laughing), there is remarkable talent there in that person.

Unfortunately though, much of mainstream America isn’t willing to find this out. Come in with the wrong name, and you are nothing more than fodder for stereotypical, distasteful jokes. We as African Americans face enough challenges as it is. Our kids deserve a better start and a way better shot than this.

You’re angry with me? I can live with that. Now answer this: when have you ever seen an IBM Executive or a fancy New York office with a fancy highrise office door nameplate that says “Quandaniquah Roshel-Shaquita, Chief Executive Officer”? When? You don’t, and you never have, because the reality is, corporate America and a huge chuck of mainstream doesn’t have a high regard for those names. Quite frankly, you won’t be taken seriously.

I’ve been behind many a closed door with white corporate America. Oddly enough, many of them still see the Negro in the room as ‘non-existent’ or invisible, so they talked like I wasn’t even in the room. I hear everything they say. When Nakia Shaniquah-Quashiqua fills out an application, they have a field day in the office. Once they get their fill of ghetto and ‘weave’ jokes and ripping you to pieces sight unseen, they usually toss the application, or it gets stuck in the ‘bottom of the pile’. If they do hire you, you’re relegated to some meaningless, inconsequential task behind the scenes so they won’t be embarrased by you.

I’ve learned the harsh truth that right or wrong, no quality mainstream company wants someone named (oh just pick a name) representing them in the forefront. We don’t hear that, though. We just want you to get the name right, and look at you funny if you don’t. I recall a time a young woman got really cross with me because her name was LaShi’quita and I forgot to capitalize the ‘S’ and left the little accent mark off the first ‘i’ - how was I supposed to know? But lawd ha’mercy...what did I do THAT for? She was mad, hostile, and ready to FIGHT! It was a BIG ridiculously overblown embarassing ordeal (for her), and that’s OUR fault, parents.

She wouldn’t have such a huge chip on her shoulder and be so defensive, confrontational and mean if we had just given her a name that the average person can pronounce or spell. No spell check in the world can help, so most of her existence is spent correcting the spelling of her name, and feeling disrespected because people can’t get it right. We set her up for this constant and unnecessary battle.

I do not advocate naming all our children Bobby and Susie. But let’s do our babies a favor and keep the syllables down to a minimum, leave out the suffixes “quita”, “sheika”,“eisha”, “niqua”, “quan”...anysuffix with the letter ‘Q’. I could go on, but you get where I'm headed.And if you want your child to have an authentic African or other ethnic name, do a little research. Don’t just make up a name and expect the world to be able to spell and pronounce it. You're not being original or cute. That child has to LIVE with that horrible name, and that's not funny...or cute.

Amen. Now pass the cornbread.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: africanamerican; aquanetta; babynames; black; brerrabbit; byanyothername; children; deandre; dejames; ebonics; jaquezjaquan; lemonjello; name; names; nintendo; orangejello; spechal; unusualnames
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To: csvset

Jackson would be tolerable.

People would call the kid "Jack". Not bad.

"Ace", on the other hand, is stupid.


221 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:26 PM PST by MplsSteve
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To: TXBSAFH

To be fair, the car originally got it's name from a girl. Mercedes is actually a very old name.


222 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:29 PM PST by pollyannaish
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To: Junior

Fun ping!


223 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:33 PM PST by cjshapi
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To: TXBSAFH

You know -- old truckers never die . . .


224 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:48 PM PST by BenLurkin (O beautiful for patriot dream - that sees beyond the years)
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To: Ditter

Yep. Italian, means something like "with sweetness".


225 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:50 PM PST by Don Carlos ("Beer is proof God loves us". B. Franklin)
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To: Don Carlos

John Wayne Real name: Marion Morrison 1907 - 1979.........


226 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:53 PM PST by Red Badger (I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.....)
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To: Calvin Locke

Yeah, I always just thought the Africanized names were pretentious when the person was obviously born in this country. There are plenty of pretentious Euro-ized white names, too.

I just thank gawd my parents didn't name me "Rudiger Bartholemew Thurston III" (as if there was a "I" or a "II"...)


227 posted on 03/30/2006 1:14:57 PM PST by LittleBillyInfidel ("Hello Mullah. Hello Fatwa. Little Billy. Not Sinatra." (Extreme Apologies to Mr. K and Mr. Sherman))
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To: LS
And, no joke, I went to HS with a retarded girl named Pigg. Her idiot parents named her . . . Ima. I kid you not.

Sadly, this is not unique. I knew a woman who worked for the Pigg sisters of Texas, Ima and Eura. Apparently they were quite aged, and filthy rich from old money.

228 posted on 03/30/2006 1:15:07 PM PST by papertyger (Our Constitution isn't perfect, but it's better than what we have right now.)
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To: TXBubba

When I hear Cody I think of Buffalo Bill.........


229 posted on 03/30/2006 1:15:52 PM PST by Red Badger (I must not fear.Fear is the mind-killer.Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.....)
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To: elcid1970

Never heard Courtney as a a man's name so I can't speak to that one.


230 posted on 03/30/2006 1:15:55 PM PST by TXBubba ( Democrats: If they don't abort you then they will tax you to death.)
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To: colorcountry
As long as her first name isn't Al 15 out of 597 ain't bad, congratulations.
231 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:06 PM PST by Lx (Do you like it, do you like it. Scott? I call it Mr. and Mrs. Tennerman chili.)
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To: twippo

I've heard of several instances in Latin America where they've named their kids "Usmail" (pronounced oos-MY-uhl) or "Usnavy" (pronounced "oos-NAH-vee"), such as after seeing a ship with certain lettering on it.


232 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:09 PM PST by King of Florida (A little government and a little luck are necessary in life, but only a fool trusts either of them.)
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To: twippo

I am a teacher-

Here are real names of some students at my school:

Dontavion
Naketa
Armani
Ayanna
Divine
Jahleel
Devante and Devon'te
DaShe
Nature (pronounced na-tur-a)
Makayla and Michaela


233 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:16 PM PST by jawz
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To: TNCMAXQ

I didn't read the whole thread, so sorry if someone already told you that Scout is the girl from "To Kill a Mockingbird".

And, no lie, I was watching Tiger this past weekend and wondered if he would have been so successful without a cool nickname or with a totally non-spellable one.


234 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:23 PM PST by synbad600
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To: Corin Stormhands

That chart is ~fascinating~. What's the source?

The Onion.


235 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:41 PM PST by Chickensoup (The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.The water in the pot is getting warmer, froggies.)
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To: old_sage_says
-- I'll take VICES for $200, Alex.

- "Peter Sellers"

- What do they call male prostitues in England?


236 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:41 PM PST by Revolting cat! ("In the end, nothing explains anything.")
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To: Red Badger

Bill Cosby needs to be recognized for the leader he is. Not slapped down by 'Blood Diamonds' of the Rainbow.


237 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:45 PM PST by Calpernia (Breederville.com)
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To: MineralMan

Rumour is another one?


238 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:45 PM PST by gogeo (The /sarc tag is a form of training wheels for those unable to discern intellectual subtlety.)
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To: Snickersnee

We go to a very old, old-family Episcopal church in Northern Virginia. Some Sundays, a pink or blue bow will be on the front door of the church to announce a new little member, and my husband will say, "Oh, look, we had another little law firm. Taylor Johnson Boardwell - they do all my tax work."


239 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:52 PM PST by linda_22003
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To: TXBubba
The Hogg Mansion is in West Columbia Tx and is open to the public for tours. It is a wonderful old house.
240 posted on 03/30/2006 1:16:54 PM PST by Ditter
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