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Clinton's Prostate Turns 60
HUMAN EVENTS ^ | Aug 23, 2006 | Ben Shapiro

Posted on 08/23/2006 8:11:18 PM PDT by neverdem

On August 15, former President Bill Clinton addressed a world AIDS conference in Toronto. "In just a few days, I will be 60 years old. I hate it, but it's true," he stated. "For most of my working life, I was the youngest person doing what I was doing. Then one day I woke up and I was the oldest person in every room. … Now that I have more days behind me than ahead of me, I try to wake up with a discipline of gratitude every day."

Turning 60 is certainly a bummer for a man as reliant on his prostate as Clinton is. Nonetheless, Clinton's speech was a stunning testament to his egocentricity. Who whines about a post-midlife crisis while discussing a disease that has pushed Angola's average life span to 39.9 years, Zambia's to 39.7, and Zimbabwe's to 37.9? Who tells a roomful of people worried about the devastation caused by a global plague that he is personally devastated by having another birthday?

Bill Clinton, that's who. And yet, somehow, Americans still miss Bill Clinton. In a May 2006 poll, Americans stated they favored Clinton over President Bush on the economy (63 percent to 26 percent), foreign affairs (56 percent to 32 percent) and even on truthfulness (46 percent to 41 percent) -- this last question regarding a man who was impeached by the House of Representatives for committing perjury, a man who openly lied to the American people.

Why do Americans miss Clinton? The results of one of the poll's questions are illuminating. Apparently, Americans feel that Clinton was superior at solving the problems of ordinary Americans by a margin of 62 percent to 25 percent. Why would they feel that way? President Bush signed the most comprehensive Medicare bill since Medicare's founding; he has signed a massive education-spending bill; he has been more liberal on social spending than his predecessor was.

No doubt the unpopular war in Iraq skews President Bush's numbers, but there is something more going on: Americans relate to President Clinton in a unique way. They relate to him because, despite his Ivy League education, he acts like just another guy at the bar, like the quirky but caring uncle everyone remembers from Thanksgiving dinner. He complains about aging. He lies about his sex life. He listens and pats hands. He tears up in front of the cameras on a regular basis.

And we elected him president. Twice. The American people enjoyed the luxury of feminization in the aftermath of the Cold War. When Edmund Muskie cried while defending his wife, Jane, from media attacks during the 1972 presidential primaries, his campaign collapsed. Americans simply could not afford a man who wept under pressure during a Cold War with the Soviets. Clinton had the benefit of the post-Cold War economic boom and foreign policy reorganization. We lived in a new world, and perhaps a kinder, gentler president -- a man who could weep with Third Worlders, who could hug our quasi-enemies into submission -- would fit the times.

Now, however, we live once again in dangerous times. The American public, which grew accustomed to Dr. Phil as president in the 1990s, now wants a combination of Dr. Phil and Winston Churchill. Bush patterns himself after Churchill, but doesn't pay a lot of attention to Dr. Phil. Thus the left's constant focus on the "smirking chimp" inhabiting the White House. Thus the constant emphasis on President Bush's "heartless" foreign policy, focused less on the blather of the United Nations and more on American military power. Thus the constant emphasis on President Bush's supposed "egotism" for refusing to apologize for each and every American casualty.

It is worth remembering that muscular defense of American freedoms is not egocentric. Clintonesque self-indulgent retreat into tears and hugs in the face of hardship, however, is textbook narcissism. We no longer need and can no longer afford a president who publicly agonizes over turning 60. We need Churchill, not Dr. Phil. We need Bush, not Clinton.


TOPICS: Culture/Society; Editorial; Foreign Affairs; Government; News/Current Events; Politics/Elections; US: District of Columbia; War on Terror
KEYWORDS: clinton; iambillslibido; loungelizard
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To: CaptainK

Two problems here, Captain:

1. Once a Marine, always a Marine

2. All Marines are not inducted into MENSA!
(translation: Some elevators move faster than others.)

*S*


41 posted on 08/23/2006 11:14:30 PM PDT by dk/coro
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To: EagleUSA

You answered your own statement about voters when you called
them "fools and dolts". I seriously believe that we citizens of our United States must be obligated to take an IQ test
before having the "right" to vote. Much too much damage
has been done to our country by giving idiots the right to
vote just because they were born here.


42 posted on 08/24/2006 12:48:12 AM PDT by pgk3734
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To: true_blue_texican
The truth is that I can't wait till he dies so I can go piss on his grave.

HEY! Wait your turn in line behind the rest of us!

Unless you REALLY have to go, of course!

43 posted on 08/24/2006 12:58:36 AM PDT by Tall_Texan (I wish a political party would come along that thinks like I do.)
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To: hardworking

ditto, may my cable be out that week, or month, they'll probably cover it over and over and over and over........


44 posted on 08/24/2006 1:28:59 AM PDT by tina07 (In Memory of my Father - WWII Army Air Force Veteran)
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To: ladyinred
I'm waiting for today's polls to come out so I will know how I feel about things and stuff.

Stuff is very important, more important than things.

45 posted on 08/24/2006 1:53:41 AM PDT by metesky ("Brethren, leave us go amongst them." Rev. Capt. Samuel Johnston Clayton - Ward Bond- The Searchers)
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To: Tall_Texan

Talk about a flood of mammoth porportion!


46 posted on 08/24/2006 2:24:18 AM PDT by xc1427
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To: neverdem

"Why doesn't he call ?!?"

47 posted on 08/24/2006 2:43:56 AM PDT by Caipirabob (Communists... Socialists... Democrats...Traitors... Who can tell the difference?)
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To: Caipirabob

**L!!!!**


48 posted on 08/24/2006 3:03:47 AM PDT by NYpeanut (gulping for air, I started crying and yelling at him, "Why did you lie to me?")
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To: neverdem

well i am sure dry cleaners for interns miss him, i am sure the cleaning personnel in the white house dont...


49 posted on 08/24/2006 3:10:05 AM PDT by Irishguy (How do ya LIKE THOSE APPLES!!!!)
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To: neverdem

I think that Ben Shapiro must live in some sort of bubble. His idea that people miss Clinton and think he was a better President than Geo. W. on every issue is unbelievable.


50 posted on 08/24/2006 3:18:24 AM PDT by Dustbunny (The BIBLE - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth)
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To: Dustbunny

Did you read the column? Shapiro says that people miss Clinton according to polls, then explains that people who miss Clinton are idiots. You think someone pro-Clinton would write a column entitled "Clinton's Prostate Turns 60"?


51 posted on 08/24/2006 8:30:22 AM PDT by UltraConservative
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To: Dick Bachert

I just want to know how Monica banged his prostate, since it has been "retreaded" several times?


52 posted on 08/24/2006 10:00:50 AM PDT by xc1427
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To: UltraConservative
Did you read the column? Shapiro says that people miss Clinton according to polls, then explains that people who miss Clinton are idiots. You think someone pro-Clinton would write a column entitled "Clinton's Prostate Turns 60"?

Oops, sorry. Yep you are right. I scanned the article because I had a Vet appt. to keep.

53 posted on 08/24/2006 12:05:21 PM PDT by Dustbunny (The BIBLE - Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth)
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To: xc1427

Can you say "strap-on?"


54 posted on 08/24/2006 3:21:42 PM PDT by Dick Bachert
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To: Dick Bachert

Strap-ons only penetrate the rectum--the prostate is a little bit "east" of the rectum (Source-Wikipedia). This is why I was looking for a really absurd answer, like "the Strapper."(Think of the "clapper"--strap off, strap on, the strapper! Now, Hillary on the other hand....)


55 posted on 08/25/2006 12:31:53 AM PDT by xc1427
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