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Don't Marry a Career Woman: The Debate Heats Up
Men's News Daily ^ | September 11, 2006 | Carey Roberts

Posted on 09/11/2006 10:39:33 AM PDT by FreeManDC

Wondering about that muffled howl you’ve been hearing the last couple weeks? It’s the sound and fury of feminists reacting to Michael Noer’s latest exegesis, Don’t Marry a Career Woman.

Noer’s column, which ran at Forbes.com, surveyed marriages in which the wives doggedly pursue a high-powered career, all the while neglecting family and home. The research shows these women are more likely to be unhappy if she earns more than the guy, or if she quits her job and stays home. Either way, she’s going to be a grump.

Her husband is more prone to be discontented if she is the primary breadwinner. The house is going to be dirtier. In the end, she is more apt to cheat on him and the marriage will fall apart. [www.forbes.com/2006/08/23/Marriage-Careers-Divorce_cx_mn_land.html]

Of course, these findings don’t apply to every ambitious woman who has risen to the top of her field – but the connection is true in many cases.

In practically every woman’s magazine, you’ll find advice columns to help the reader find Mr. Right and then entice her football-addled boyfriend to commit for the long-haul.

But when a male columnist dispenses relationship advice for men, that appears to be strictly verboten — at least according to the Shrieking Sisters of Silliness who cut loose on Mr. Noer.

On Good Morning America, one Rutgers U. prof claimed to be absolutely shocked: “I’m surprised that the man thinks it. I’m astonished that he wrote it. And I’m astonished that anyone published it, particularly Forbes.” (No word whether MIT professor Nancy Hopkins swooned at the news.)

Forbes hastily arranged for reporter Elizabeth Corcoran to pen a response sporting the acid title, “Don’t Marry a Lazy Man.” Describing Noer’s factual article as “frightening,” she dispensed this condescending advice about men: “If he can pick up new ideas faster than your puppy, you’ve got a winner.”

Needless to say, Ms. Corcoran’s screed only reinforced the worst stereotypes of the “I-know-what-I-want-and-I-know-how-to-get-it” career woman portrayed in Noer’s column.

Thereupon the readers jumped into the fray, all recounting their grudges about members of the opposite sex. A pretty picture it was not, but the debate is long-overdue: http://forums.forbes.com/forbes/board?board.id=respond_marry_career_woman and http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1688730/posts .

Part of the ladies’ discomfiture with Mr. Noer’s article springs from the fact that for the last 30 years, discussions about women in the workforce have been guided by the unspoken rule, “Men’s Opinions Don’t Count.”

But then women’s one-sided conversations lapsed into over-wrought declamations about men who didn’t pitch in around the house, forgetting that that men often put in longer hours on the job, commute longer distances, and do physical labor that leaves them exhausted.

Doesn’t mowing the grass, killing creepy-crawlers that traipse through the kitchen, clearing leaves out of the gutter, and coaching Little League count for anything?

And let’s not forget the old axiom that rights and responsibilities go hand-in-hand. If women are demanding more rights, then what additional duties – like compulsory registration for the draft — are they going to shoulder?

Ironically, the same day that Michael Noer published his op-ed, columnist Nancy Levant came out with a fem-ripper called The Cultural Devastation of Women. [www.newswithviews.com/Levant/nancy55.htm]

Levant deplored the fact that thanks to the libbers, American women “now hire maid services, landscapers, pool cleaners, painters, interior decorators. . . .while losing every intuitive aspect of our female natures.” In the process, women “use men like ATMs” and “bankrupt multiple men with mandatory child support payments.”

One can only imagine the hullabaloo if Mrs. Levant had uttered such heresy at Forbes.

So what’s a career woman to do? For a moment, let’s can the feminist ideology and take stock of that rare commodity, common sense.

Have you ever seen a woman (or man, for that matter) exclaim at death’s door, “I only wish that I could have spent more time in the office”? Neither have I.

It’s no secret that the most rewarding parts of a person’s life revolve around relationships with spouses, children, and other family. So why are career women driven to dismember those connections that give the most meaning to their lives?

It’s true that women find satisfaction and fulfillment from paid work. And some have no choice but to get a full-time job.

But the reality is, wives’ happiness is not tied to living out of a suitcase or having an equal paycheck with their husbands. Indeed, the opposite is true. When husbands are the primary wage earners, wives have more freedom to pursue their own interests.

So Mr. Noer, lick off those wounds, straighten up that tie, and sharpen your pencil. Get ready for Round Two.


TOPICS: Culture/Society
KEYWORDS: bitchbitchbitchbitch; career; careerdebate; careerwomen; debate; divorce; earnings; forbes; freedom; genderwars; hitch; hitched; love; loveandmarriage; marriage; matrimony; men; menarefrommars; nuptial; nuptials; separation; sexes; vampira; women; womenarefromvenus; womenstrikeaturanus; work
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To: JamesP81
Indeed. The NAGs have completely failed to realize one of the most powerful weapons in the female arsenal: the Ego Stroke. It can do things to guys that no amount of threats or nagging ever could. Alright, ladies, pay attention:

Step one: draw breath and smile, while opening your eyes as wide as you can.

Step two: do the "anime hand clasp." Illustration:

Step three: breathlessly praise your target's manliness or skillz or something.

Congratulations, the testosterone is now coursing through your mark and he will do anything to please you. And hey, he's happy too. Enjoy.

41 posted on 09/11/2006 10:55:29 AM PDT by Gordongekko909 (Mark 5:9)
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To: FreeManDC

(non PC on) My observations of execs is this. Probably 90% of the male execs have a wife who is either stay at home, or, who has a fairly inconsequential job. Rare to see execs married to other execs. Female execs have "no name" husbands or ones who are indepedently wealthy, are lawyes, doctors or government. Very unusual to see a female exec with a high profile, corporate hubby. The remaining execs are singles or gays, but this remainder group is a minor fraction. (/non PC off)


42 posted on 09/11/2006 10:55:29 AM PDT by GOP_1900AD (Stomping on "PC," destroying the Left, and smoking out faux "conservatives" - Take Back The GOP!)
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To: FreeManDC

I think the bottom line is that men want a partner, not a competitor. I've dated such career minded women and they want to 'challenge' you more than be with you.


43 posted on 09/11/2006 10:56:20 AM PDT by doc30 (Democrats are to morals what and Etch-A-Sketch is to Art.)
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To: FreeManDC

Man...I'd love to hear what some of the posters on this thread have to say about Michelle Malkin and her family situation...


44 posted on 09/11/2006 10:56:21 AM PDT by Ex-Dem
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To: RobRoy

You're entitled to your opinion. My wife has a Ph.D. and is a very capable manager and has a fantastic career I'm proud of. I could not be any more happily married. Who says it's not a cultural thing ? Why is it/could be miserable ? Because you have to share chores, and handle responsibilities together ?

And here I thought we here in America were all about teamwork and getting it done. You'd rather come home and talk to your wife about what happened on a latest soap opera ? I prefer to ask 'what new and exciting things is your company doing, honey ?'


45 posted on 09/11/2006 10:56:34 AM PDT by farlander (Strategery - sure beats liberalism!)
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To: dinoparty

>As opposed to what...a needy, clingy wife who has no interests other than you?<<

That is how some would describe Robroy's Woman. But she is more. MUCH MORE! And I know that the feelings are mutual.

Over eight years, we're both 52, and the honeymoon aint over. In fact, our relationship gets only stronger.


46 posted on 09/11/2006 10:56:40 AM PDT by RobRoy (Islam is more dangerous to the world now that Naziism was in 1937.)
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To: FreeManDC
But when a male columnist dispenses relationship advice for men, that appears to be strictly verboten — at least according to the Shrieking Sisters of Silliness who cut loose on Mr. Noer.

I imagine they don't like Tom Leykis, either.

47 posted on 09/11/2006 10:56:53 AM PDT by Jim Noble (Something is happening here but you don't know what it is, do you, Mr. Jones?)
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To: 308MBR

God forbid a woman has a passion for something other than disciplining kids, cooking and cleaning huh?


48 posted on 09/11/2006 10:57:14 AM PDT by Fawn (http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/toilet_obsession.html)
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To: Reagan79; martin_fierro
"Get back to the kitchen and cook me dinner, woman."

- Amen! Back in the good ole days

You guys are just begging to get b**** slapped aren't you?

If the wrong FR ladies see your comments, you're in for it!

Don't say G.B. didn't warn you!

49 posted on 09/11/2006 10:57:19 AM PDT by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: FreeManDC

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him 
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

50 posted on 09/11/2006 10:57:44 AM PDT by Revolting cat! ("In the end, nothing explains anything!")
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To: farlander

>>You're entitled to your opinion. <<

My opinion was based on a couple of statements and was not cast in stone. It was reasonable based on the input on which it was based.

I have new input and have adjusted my opinion accordingly. ;)


51 posted on 09/11/2006 10:58:26 AM PDT by RobRoy (Islam is more dangerous to the world now that Naziism was in 1937.)
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To: bella1
Feel like getting frisky tonight dear?

No


You're still not getting the 500 dollars... :D
52 posted on 09/11/2006 10:58:38 AM PDT by JamesP81 ("Never let your schooling interfere with your education" --Mark Twain)
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To: dinoparty
As opposed to what...a needy, clingy wife who has no interests other than you?

No, as opposed to a wife who puts the welfare of her family before an illusory desire for 'fulfillment' that can only be achieved working 40-60 hours per week outside of the home.
53 posted on 09/11/2006 10:59:13 AM PDT by Antoninus (I don't vote for liberals, regardless of party.)
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To: RobRoy
Over eight years, we're both 52, and the honeymoon aint over. In fact, our relationship gets only stronger.

Mine is still going strong too, I'm 61 and my wife is 53. We've been married since we were babies.

54 posted on 09/11/2006 10:59:23 AM PDT by Graybeard58 (Remember and pray for SSgt. Matt Maupin - MIA/POW- Iraq since 04/09/04)
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To: bella1

That's a different type of 'career' woman, but she is a 'working' girl.


55 posted on 09/11/2006 10:59:39 AM PDT by doc30 (Democrats are to morals what and Etch-A-Sketch is to Art.)
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To: Gordongekko909

I wouldn't be able to do that with a straight face. :)


56 posted on 09/11/2006 10:59:59 AM PDT by Fawn (http://www.jokaroo.com/funnyvideos/toilet_obsession.html)
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To: FreeManDC

Mrs. randog became a stay-at-home wife a year ago. Every working woman that finds out about our arrangement says one thing to her--"you're so lucky--I wish I could do that".


57 posted on 09/11/2006 10:59:59 AM PDT by randog (What the...?!)
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To: doc30

Uh-huh. And, a man that has *some* self confidence doesn't feel threatened/challenged. So what if they want to 'challenge' you ? That's a good thing. Keeps you focused and your eyes on the ball. I've found that having self confidence to date a very sucessfull, very intelligent woman is *far* more rewarding than dating a english major dropout.


58 posted on 09/11/2006 11:00:18 AM PDT by farlander (Strategery - sure beats liberalism!)
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To: Graybeard58

heh, heh. Babies? With a twelve year difference? ;) I know what you mean though. I so wish I had met her when I was a tyke!


59 posted on 09/11/2006 11:00:32 AM PDT by RobRoy (Islam is more dangerous to the world now that Naziism was in 1937.)
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To: bella1

HAHA..Great answer!!


60 posted on 09/11/2006 11:00:39 AM PDT by Judy Jetsun (Activan-Apply Directly to the Forehead x12)
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