Posted on 12/07/2006 1:32:13 PM PST by Mongeaux
Top 10 Iraq Study Group Solutions To Other Problems In The World: December 7, 2006 – 5:10 pm
Emboldened by their success at solving all our problems in the Middle East, and anxious not to lose momentum, The Iraq Study Group announced that they secretly decided to devote an extra day to ten additional problems. They are listed below:
10. Smoking.
ISG: “Quit.”
9. Spouse Abuse.
ISG: “Get Out Now.”
8. Teenage Homelessness.
ISG: “Run Back To Mommy.”
7. Drug Abuse
ISG: “Just Say “No”.”
6. Grizzly Bear Attacks.
ISG: “Lay Down and Play Dead .”
5. Litter in Public Parks:
ISG: “Pack It Up.”
4. Unwanted Pregnancy
ISG: “Early Withdrawal.”
3. Alcoholism
ISG: “Give In To A Greater Power.”
2. Drowning.
ISG: “If They Can’t Swim, Let Em Sink.”
1. Why Did The Jihadi Cross The Road?
ISG: “To Plant Explosives On The Chicken.”
(Excerpt) Read more at hairybeast.wordpress.com ...
Detroit Lions losing
ISG: Extend Matt Millen's Contract
Violent Crime
ISG: Talk to the thugs and join with them in a neighborhood Criminal Crisis Group to negotiate a bi-partisan solution.
ISG: WIN (Whip Inflation Now)
How do you achieve peace in Iraq?
ISG: Destroy Israel
How do you achieve Peace in Northern Ireland?
ISG: Destroy Israel.
What's the solution to the Housing Bubble
ISG: Destroy Israel.
How does the GOP win the 2008 elections?
ISG: Show a little bi-partisanship by running Jimmy Carter as the GOP nominee for President of the United States.
Oh, and destroy Israel.
;-)
ISG: Declare a War Diplomacy On Poverty.
What's the solution to the Housing Bubble ISG: Destroy Israel.
How does the GOP win the 2008 elections? ISG: Show a little bi-partisanship by running Jimmy Carter as the GOP nominee for President of the United States.
Oh, and destroy Israel.
WE HAVE A WINNER!
Politics is the business of supplying complex answers to simple problems.
Politicians, of both stripe, are the purveyors of that business.
War against Terrorism-easy: Monitor, Identify, Fight and kill the terrorists.
Politicians-911 Commission report and ISG
Illegal Immigration-Easy, Seal the border, deport illeagals, make it financially painful for employers to hire them.
Politicians: McCain Kennedy "Path to Citizenship"
The Muslim Threat: Easy, seal border, deport Muslims.
Politicians: "Religion of Peace." and other various forms of "Pacification."
Iran Nukes: Easy: Aid resistance groups-soften target for Military strikes. Conduct Military Strikes.
Politicians: Endless trips to the EU/UN/Etc.
Oil prices: Easy: Drill and explore for more within your borders
Politicians: Deny ANWR, use the EPA to deny drilling where oil is, negotiate with Muslim countries to porvide oil to the one power they hate and faer
And it could go on and on.
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