Pizza Patrón's Peculiar Pecuniary Peso-Paying Predicament

As most of my regular readers know, I'm not averse to world travel. Been there, done that, seen the movie and bought the thawb and ghutra. I've worked in many a country. When I'm in those countries, I have made it a point to be respectful of the laws and customs for whatever particular locale in which I'm residing.

When I'm in Tokyo, I bow respectfully to my co-workers but still avoid the sushi (or, as I like to call it, bait). When I'm in England, I don't diss football (their version), I don't joke about foods with names like Spotted Dick and Toad in the Hole (though I do snicker privately), and I don't drive on the right side of the road as opposed to the left. When I'm in Saudi Arabia, I don't walk down the street in the daytime during Ramadan drinking a beer and eating a pork chop with some hot chick in a bikini on my arm.

It's what my parents taught me long ago. The name, apparently lost in today's modern world, was once called "common courtesy."

One part of that courtesy was accepting the fact that I had to use local currency when I was outside the good'ol U. S. of A. So, I'd make it a point to find a local Bureaux de Change or Cambio (when you travel, you learn to look for those words real quick, along with the initials WC [different service there]) to turn my greenbacks into redbacks, bluebacks, orangebacks, and several other equally colorful backs of local value. I kinda liked the fact that the bills were different sizes, but that was more of a novelty factor than a true aide in paying whatever tab I had to settle. If I used an ATM, I'd get the cash in local legal tender, and the funds would come out of my account in dollars (following a healthy exchange cut taken by the bank(s), of course). It didn't take me long to learn the coinage, and since I can count to 100, and I'm not totally bereft of numerary skills, I am able to pay the taxi driver, the grocery store clerk, the waiter and the porno shop owner with equal flair and accuracy.

That courtesy, however, only seems to work one way. The "ugly American" concept is one where we expect all other countries to bow to us. Yet, it seems that we "uglies" are the ones who must constantly put up with the discourteous and indeed impudent actions of people not of this nation.

Well, here (as the British would say) is the thin edge of the wedge. Or, perhaps, the slice.

In Dallas, Texas (which, at last check, was still in the United States of America), a regional pizza chain known as Pizza Patrón ( http://www.pizzapatron.com/ ) has, according to a story in the Dallas Morning News ( http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/010607dnbuspesos.31047f5.html ), announced that it is going to start doling out its wares to customers who pay not with the legal tender of this great land, but with the (ig)noble Peso of our (not-so-neighborly) neighbors south of the Border.

That's right. The noble American Pizza (yes, yes, I know the Italians technically invented it -- we just made it BETTER!) can now be purchased in an American Pizza chain, not with American Dollars, but with Pesos.

I can't tell you how many times I've caught hell in several restaurants, laundromats, and arcades for inadvertently handing them a Canadian coin intermixed with the American stuff. Which meant that somebody else had fobbed off the offending filthy lucre on me without my notice, leaving me a day late and several American cents short.

Now, an American-based Pizza chain which apparently caters to a high number of non-American patrons within American borders will accept foreign currency?

We already have to bend over and grab the ankles for illegal aliens of every nationality. We have to open the orifice while legislators insert ballots in dozens of languages. Hell, the government doesn't even grease up the signs that say "Hablamos Espanola" anymore prior to obtruding them up the wrong end of our digestive tracts.

So now, we've got to personally insert multiple foreign currencies aka "Papillion"?

Sorry, but if a furr'ner wants to do trade or commerce in this country, s/he should go to a bank, exchange the foreign currency for American, and THEN go out and buy a [insert favorite expletive here for deletion] pizza!

I'm not even sure if such a process is technically legal. If I'm not mistaken (and I've worked in banking -- local and international -- for many years), the only currency recognized for the payment of debts and obligations within the United States is the U.S. Dollar. The only area where that rule doesn't apply is in the Duty Free zones of an air or sea port, and even then the stores there stick you something fierce for the exchange rate. For Pizza Patrón to do something like this, would it not have to apply as a currency exchange facility? Furthermore, would that not entail Pizza Patrón coming under banking regulations as well as pizza regulations? (Yes, I'm certain that there are pizza regulations -- God knows, everything else in this country is regulated in some fashion...)

If Pizza Patrón is indeed planning to perform a currency exchange, it has to advertise the buy/sell rates plus any further fees (flat or percentage) in order for the consumer to understand just how badly it is screwing the customer for the privilege. I believe Pizza Patrón would also have some rather interesting accounting activities it will have to go through in order to ensure it is paying the correct levels of sales/restaurant/federal/state/local/thumb tax. It also has to ensure it separates the different currencies in such-and-such a manner so as to not accidentally give the wrong change or mess things up for the customer or bank. In addition, the banks who serve Pizza Patrón have to be able to handle currency exchange (not all banks do this).

Would Pizza Patrón go to so much trouble for its AMERICAN-paying customers? Methinks the answer is nay.

I'm also interested why Pizza Patrón is accepting pesos in an American restaurant for an Italian-based product. Shouldn't it be taking payment in Lira? Unless it is selling a Taco Pizza to the customer, of course...

Look, free enterprise and free trade doesn't mean that a company can fly in the face of the law, or even in the face of its customer base in the nation where it is based. When I'm in Tokyo, I pay for a Big Mac in Yen. When I'm in the UK, I pay in Pounds and Pence. When I'm in Riyadh, I pay in Riyals and Hallallahs. I don't pay in dollars.

So why should Tourists, Legal Immigrants and Illegal Aliens pay for American Products in an American Restaurant in an American City with Mexican Pesos? Or any other currency beyond the U.S. Dollar, for that matter?

Note to All Red-Blooded Real-American Pizza-Eaters: If you'd like to tell the folks at Pizza Patrón just what you think of its Pizza-For-Pesos program, its restaurants, or even the burro it rode in on, you can reach them in the following ways:

Contact Form and Info -- Click Here ( http://www.pizzapatron.com/contact_info.cfm )

Note to ICE: Since you're done raiding Swift Meat Packing locations for illegals, how 'bout a quick visit to your local Pizza Patrón? If you need help finding its many, many locations, just try this link. By the way, do I get a finder's fee?

About the Writer: Doc Farmer is a columnist, security consultant, humorist, and parttime curmudgeon living in America's heartland. He is also moderator on ChronWatch's Forum. Doc receives e-mail at docfarmer9999@yahoo.co.uk

This Article Was First Published In ChronWatch At: http://www.chronwatch.com/content/contentDisplay.asp?aid=26039

If Pizza Patron wishes to accept foreign currency, I have no problem with it. If they decide they won't take American currency, or if somebody tries to force all businesses to accept foreign money, I would object strongly.

A private business has made a business decision that doesn't hurt anybody who chooses not to participate. Leave them alone.

If I'm not mistaken (and I've worked in banking -- local and international -- for many years), the only currency recognized for the payment of debts and obligations within the United States is the U.S. Dollar.

Inaccurate. US currency is the only legal tender. If two private parties agree on payment of an obligation in bananas or corncobs, that is purely their business.

And they are also getting a ton of free publicitiy. Some people can be played like violins.

If it gets them more business, why not? I don't think this is a political decision, I think it's a business gamble.

Yup. I don't understand why some "conservatives" are excited about this.

It's a private business.

It would be a good place to hang out and see who is here legally. They are the ones who painted a target on themselves.

In Dallas, Texas (which, at last check, was still in the United States of America)

Check again buddy, things changed on Nov.7th.

8 posted on 01/08/2007 7:52:22 PM PST by txroadkill (My post may be dumb, but I was named Time Mag's Person of the Year)

Canadian money (change) is pretty common up here. When he makes deposits at the bank I'm sure they give him the correct exchange rate.

You can use US Dollars all over the world, they are eagerly accepted. Certainly you can spend them in Mexico. What's the difference?

They are taking the US Dollar total bill and multiplying it by the peso rate, so who cares. One dollar equals between 10 and 11 pesos.

I cannot see how they will collect that many pesos, the illegals are paid in dollars.

Don't think ICE will bother though.

I've paid for goods and services in Japan with good 'ol American dollars. Likewise England, Italy, France, etc etc etc...

If a shop agrees to beads or wampum so be it....

I personally think the insult is Mexicans taking over Pizza. Refried beans on a thin crust wouldn't do it for me....JMO.

12 posted on 01/08/2007 7:59:14 PM PST by GoldCountryRedneck ("Idiocy - Never under estimate the power of stupid people in large numbers" - despair.com)

You guys seceded from the union?

Uh, would you mind if I immigrated to your new republic?

When I was in Tokyo, they wouldn't take anything but Yen. When I lived in the UK, pounds only. And believe you me, the Cheese-Eating-Surrender-Monkey-Bastards would only accept those froggy francs of theirs.

If a shop agrees to beads or wampum, they're violating US trade and commerce laws (especially if there are taxes to be collected).

Gotta say, Doc, I'm with the camp that says they can take whatever form of payment they want. As long as they are accounting for their transactions properly and paying all their taxes (so I don't have to pay them, like I do for the guy across the street who pretends to make rain gutters but really sells drugs for a living), I have no problem.

Might be smart of ICE to scrutinize their activities (in a constitutionally permissible manner), but I don't live in that dream world where such a thing would actually happen.

15 posted on 01/08/2007 8:14:18 PM PST by Clinging Bitterly (Oregon - a pro-militia and firearms state that looks just like Afghanistan .)

The decision was made by Pizza Patron because many of their customers have just returned from Mexico following the Christmas Vacation, and still have pesos left.

It brings them business, and helps their customers. I really don't know what the big deal is. BTW, they said the Peso Promotion is for a limited time, but depending on it's success, they may extend it.

When I return from Europe, I always get stuck with Euros b/c banks will only exchange paper money, not the Euro coins. If little Caesar's took Euro's I'd be dumping them there.

I trade with my neighbors all the time. I tune up his mower and chainsaws and keep them sharp year round. In return he tills my garden, plows my drive and other things like that. There isn't anything illegal about that.

Right. I wouldn't give a sh!t if they accepted acorns and pine cones as forms of payment.

18 posted on 01/08/2007 8:27:14 PM PST by Alberta's Child (Can money pay for all the days I lived awake but half asleep?)

All you have to have is a few Minute Men standing outside with camera's snapping pics of patrons to see if taking peso's is a good idea or not. If business went down, the peso would go. The camera wouldn't even need film if you didn't want to.

If a shop agrees to beads or wampum, they're violating US trade and commerce laws (especially if there are taxes to be collected).

You're gonna have to cite chapter and verse of the U.S. code before I'll believe that one. Heck -- even most toll roads in the Northeast accept Canadian currency as a form of payment.

20 posted on 01/08/2007 8:29:38 PM PST by Alberta's Child (Can money pay for all the days I lived awake but half asleep?)

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