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Posted on 04/22/2007 10:20:47 PM PDT by nickcarraway
Conventional wisdom has long held that a strong and silent man is unlikely to ask for help when he needs it, putting him at a disadvantage when he's hurt.
Following a trauma, the theory goes that these kinds of men clam up emotionally, are more likely to abuse alcohol and drugs and avoid showing they're vulnerable in any way.
But new research from the University of Missouri-Columbia shows that "manly" men may in fact benefit from sticking to this traditional notion of masculinity, particularly when it comes to recovering from serious injuries.
In Pictures: How To Kick That Spare Tire In Pictures: America's Most Luxurious Gyms The small exploratory study, published last year in the American Psychological Association's journal Psychology of Men and Masculinity, found this group showed a greater improvement from the time they were initially hospitalized to one year after they left the hospital.
"Guys who are tough or have a clear vision of what they want strive for success and status," says Glenn Good, associate professor of educational, school and counseling psychology at the University of Missouri and co-author of the study. "Maybe that gives them motivation to work harder and persist longer."
The Study
Participants in the study included 52 men, ages 18 to 91, who'd experienced traumatic brain or spinal cord injuries and were undergoing rehabilitation. The majority had a high school education and two-thirds were employed. They each responded to more than 175 questions or statements about their masculinity, attitudes toward seeking psychological assistance, abilities to perform daily tasks, barriers preventing them from doing what they want and overall life satisfaction.
Bad news at the doc's office? Here's what you need to know when you get a troubling diagnosis. The results did show, as you might expect, that those who believed men should restrict expression of their emotions were less in favor of seeking psychological help.
But there also was a connection between men who conformed to masculine norms, such as a tendency toward self-reliance and risk-taking, and those who reported fewer barriers to functioning in their communities. While the findings need further study, one possible explanation is that feeling manly helped the men overcome adversity and persevere, as though nothing could stop them from conquering a goal.
"It may help them say, 'Despite the fact that life as I knew it is over, I have this goal of being able to stand up or walk, and I want to make sure I achieve that,'" Good says.
Overcoming Injury
Irmo Marini, a professor in health sciences and human services at the University of Texas-Pan American, thinks the study is on to something.
Marini fractured his neck in 1981 at age 23 when he was playing hockey for Lakehead University in Thunder Bay, Ontario. In an instant, he went from being an able-bodied athlete to being a wheelchair-bound quadriplegic. But a year after his injury, he says, he found that sense of discipline and need to succeed he'd felt as an athlete returning. For instance, because he can't fully grip with his hands, Marini ties tensor bandages around his wrists and hands to hold weights so he can lift. That stubbornness, often associated with machismo, paid off.
"It's almost like, for myself and some others I know, we've taken the physical discipline we had before our injuries and turned it into mental discipline," he says.
Marini, who has a Ph.D. in rehabilitation counseling from Auburn University, says people with military experience tend to have this sense of discipline too. He also believes the benefits of this way of thinking might extend to people with lesser injuries.
Stressed out? Click here to see why some say seeing the glass as half full can benefit your health. If you're not particularly manly, Good says it's possible that some men in rehabilitation recovering from injuries could try to pick up the behavior, since masculinity is something men learn through socialization. But he adds a note of caution.
"Being a real tough authoritarian kind of guy might be helpful on the football team, or if you're a policeman or military officer," he says. "But it also can make you a bad partner or father. Having some flexibility about when you implement this is important."
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“Women who want to remake men into male girlfriends will find their quest doomed to failure. Men are not interested in “female stuff.” Period.
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Just because a guy has a headful of issues and opinions and is willing to share them with either males or females, doesn’t mean he’s a pussy, whimp, or some mind controlled feminist robot.”
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I think you miss the point - men - true men - bond differently than women do, and too often these days women want and insist on men bonding with women like a woman would. Often, when I’m browsing dating sites for fun (and horror), it strikes me that 90% of the women are looking for either a gay man or a lesbian - what they want simply does not exist in men.
Men and women can share ideas and opinions, but what the poster was talking about is how men *react* to things, and how they act in general. Do you think it’s acceptable for a “man” to want to cuddle up with a girl on a couch and watch a chick flick, sniffing back tears? Thats’ what they want these days! Sorry, but those movies piss me off because it’s the kind of fantasy crap that’s screwed up women’s expectations of love, romance and men in the first place. I’m NOT going to shed a tear because B-list Hunk finally realizes being a man is BAD, and that the woman was right about everything all along, and as usual, the man was STUPID, DUMB, and doesnt deserve this perfect woman who never does anything wrong (and seemingly never goes to the bathroom, has perfect skin and bodies, and live far, far beyond their means in ultra-chic high end lofts and townhouses in the most exclusive parts of Manhatten or Los Angeles, while working as receptionists or retail salespeople.)
As for the article, I’ve witnessed that in my extended family. One side of the family had a young man badly hurt in a car accident, and he simply gave up and became a “victim” and all he does is talk about how he can’t do anything - on the other side, a *manly* relative had a very bad accident as well, and was told he’d never walk again. In two years, he’d made a full recovery.
“Men”, true men, are capable of great deeds. Our history and lore are full of stories of men who believed in themselves and overcame what they faced.
“Men”, these days, are punished for trying.
So much so, that now it’s actual news that men can overcome the odds and win. I think that’s something the generations that fought WWI and WWII learned first hand, and the generations since have slowly forgotten or been forced to reject.
Liberals are always talking about a breakdown in the system...yea, this was a breakdown alright, in their system, but let's not talk about that....
The last Dem Governor of my state let all the mentally ill out of the hospital so they could be "free" on the streets to rape and kill. It was the "compassionate" thing to do.
I find nothing wrong with that at all.
Thats’ what they want these days!
Who? I personally don't give a rats rear-end what "they" want or say.
Sorry, but those movies piss me off because it’s the kind of fantasy crap that’s screwed up women’s expectations of love, romance and men in the first place.
Then don't watch that "fantasy crap", or cuddle up with someone you're affectionately attracted with. Problem solved.
> Bottom line, the taxpayer money that was supposed to be used to help this mental sicko needs to be refunded.
And charges of Criminal Negligence should be laid, and prosecuted vigorously. For as long as there are no personal come-backs on the “experts” that make these decisions, this nonsense will go on-and-on-and-on.
And the State of Virginia should be culpable for civil lawsuits into the squillions of dollars for all 32 victims. The lesson will not be learned otherwise.
You said — “For the record, I thought Cho Sueng-Hui whined too much about nothing, making him the center of attention, as if the rest of the world didn’t exist in it’s relative normal state.”
Actually, no — Cho didn’t whine too much. He barely spoke at all. In fact, he was the “strong silent type” scaring the hell out of those around him. He basically did what he wanted to do and didn’t tell anyone what he had on his mind, didn’t discuss things with anyone else. If he didn’t like the class, he would basically just walk out. He scared the hell out of the teachers so much, they pretty much gave him passing grades to keep him from getting angry at them.
When he did speak, he only did it once — and then he said all he wanted to and then proceeded to blow everyone away.
So, nope, I don’t think he was whiney. If he had been whiney — he probably would not have blown everyone away. “Whiney” might be a solution to prevent the next big massacre.
Regards,
Star Traveler
Hah! Good one.
As much as I can’t stand a whiney man I will have to agree with you. I’ll take a whiney wimp over a mass murderer any day. At least there is hope that the wimp will grow up if there are other confident males around. This guy seemed to have had some real strange role models.
I shed no tears for pond scum like him. I just pray the Lord found forgiveness for that lowlife's sin. Because I can't seem to forgive him.
You said, about Cho — “This crim had a very poor way of expressing what he felt, and a definitely wrong-headed view on life, and very little talent as a writer. A barely tolerable grasp of the English languange.”
I would agree that he had a very poor way of expressing himself, socially speaking. It was that lack of the social interaction and the give-and-take that allowed himself to wallow exclusively inside his own thoughts, without any “checks and balances” that all of us have in our interactions in normal society.
And, certainly, that led to his wrong-headed view on life.
But, I don’t agree that he had very little talent as a writer. He may have had very twisted and weird ideas, but that’s not lack of talent, that’s simply twisted and weird ideas. The talent was there. It just wasn’t used with normal ideas.
And the fact that he really didn’t speak very much with others doesn’t mean that he didn’t know English very well or didn’t know “how” to communicate. His dorm-mates indicated that when he wanted to speak, he could. It just didn’t happen very much. This wasn’t a lack of skill in English — this was a mental/perceptional problem with him.
Of course, the greatest evidence that he had no problem with English and could do very well and string ideas together in a sentence and put relevant phrases together, was his manifesto. Now, this doesn’t mean that he exhibited a “coherent philosophy” (he didn’t because he had a smorgasbord of idealogies in his manifesto). And it didn’t mean that he was stable, mentally. He wasn’t. But, he did have the technical skills to do what he wanted to do with English words. There was not a lack of intelligence in that area.
You know..., these types of guys can be very intelligent (technically speaking), but at the same time appear (in a certain way) as “stupid”. That’s not really “stupid” as much as it’s “not conforming to standard norms”. And that (i.e., not conforming to standard norms) is not stupidity.
He could *functionally* accomplish what he wanted. He was able to get on eBay, buy and sell — knowing enough to get ammo clips there and spread his purchases around to avoid being tagged in any way. He was able to function with day-to-day tasks very well, enough to apparently keep his bills taken care of, to have enough money to get several thousand dollars worth of equipment, to have a video camera and funcitonally be able to handle that.
He was *able* to shoot two people in the morning, go back, clean up a bit of the manifesto, get one more video shot, put it on a DVD (or maybe a CD), get it out to the post office, get back, load up on clips and ammo, get his guns, go out to the other side of campus, undetected, and proceed to lock up the place — and then — *methodically* shoot and kill 32 people without a second thought.
If you think about the time frame for doing all that — including getting back on your computer, finishing up one more video, getting it all into a package, going to the post office, waiting in line, getting it sent off, then back to campus, loading up and proceeding on over to his “big day” — I bet that a lot of people here *could not* accomplish the *technical parts* of that feat — in a mere two hours.
No, he wasn’t “non-functional” or “incapable” or lacking in intelligence. He could do it all and did it all that day.
He was non-social, not fitting in, wrapped up inside himself, terribly disturbed, mentally twisted, and evil, to boot. But, he was not stupid or incapable of accomplishing tasks that needed to be done.
It’s too bad he was so twisted and wrapped up in his own world — and killed all those students, because he could have done a lot better.
Regards,
Star Traveler
It's a good thing Jesus loves you cause the rest of us think you suck eggs.
The guy had no “plot.” He had a head filled with bad chemistry and faulty wiring. He was an iPod left out in the rain.
Please see my homepage on experts : )
Exactly.
“A real man is a good father and family man... Very few of those in the liberal ranks (IMO)... A real man spends time with his children and is loving towards them...”
S O L D!
The perfect description of a sociopath...no feeling.
I once knew a criminal who destroyed an 18 month old's insides with a hot curling iron....there was no remorse, no feeling from this "non-person". They think, they just don't "feel". It's bizarre.
“Women who want to remake men into male girlfriends will find their quest doomed to failure. Men are not interested in “female stuff.” Period.”
Hey, how bout that : )
Yes.....female stuff!
Don’t worry, I’m a “chick” and I can’t stand those sappy “chick flicks”. I’m sure I’m not the only one, so don’t despair. :)
“The fact that you and I remember that Corinthian leather reference really dates us”
Ricardo was my neighbor for 2 years......never saw him once.....but I DO remember Corrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrinthian leather....for that beast that got 6 miles a gallon downhill with a tailwind : )
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