Posted on 09/04/2007 8:08:13 AM PDT by Grig
A study has found that women who use the 'silent treatment' with their spouses during arguments could be on their way to early deaths.
"This is the first time we've seen anything this dramatic that predicts death or heart disease that's not physiological," Dr. Elaine Eaker, who authored the study, told CTV's Canada AM.
The study found that women who silenced themselves during marital disagreements were four times more likely to die earlier than women who expressed their feelings during arguments with their spouses.
However, Eaker found that the health of men who indulged in the same "self-silencing" practice were not adversely affected.
"Even though men and women are equally as likely to, what we call 'self-silence,' during conflict, men did not have any affects on their health if they 'self-silenced' -- it was only the women that suffered detrimental affects on their health," Eaker said.
The study, called "Marital Status, Marital Strain, and Risk of Coronary Heart Disease or Total Mortality: The Framingham Offspring Study," published in the journal Psychomatic Medicine, was based on data from the Framingham Heart Study.
The Framingham Heart study follows over 5,000 men and women in the town of Framingham, Ma. and tracks their health over an extended period of time. The study is credited with providing much of the common knowledge into how diet and exercise affect heart disease.
In Eaker's study, traditional methods of determining marital quality such as the level of satisfaction and the amount of conflict were measured. However, the study also asked what behaviour strategies were used during marital conflicts.
Eaker said the actual practice of 'self-silencing,' not depression or anger, actually caused the health problems, even when other factors such as age, socio-economic background, levels of cholesterol and obesity were taken into account.
"It was the self-silencing that seemed to be particularly detrimental," Eaker said.
The most common illness suffered by women who often used 'silent treatment' with their partners was cancer and the next common affliction was heart disease.
According to Eaker, the study she conducted was the first to look at the factors of behaviour, heart disease and mortality in the context of marital relationships.
Couples should focus on improving their communication to combat "self-silencing," Eaker said.
"I think it goes back to trying to have more constructive communication and having a safe environment where both spouses can equally share and communicate," Eaker said.
Simple explanation. The silent women are still raging on the inside, while the silent man has moved on and just wants a beer.
Bottled up is bad? Nonsense. When you’re not speaking to him, you can always speak to your mother!
I’m going to live to be over a hundred!
Just think how long she would have lived if she had just let it out. ;^)
My condolences on your Grandmother's passing.
My ex will live forever.
That could be simply a survival mechanism. If she's like me she draws a blank when, during an argument, the husband says, "Give me one example of ___________." And if she hasn't written it down she can't remember, espcially in a highly tense situation like a marital fight.
Women remember what they heard, not necessarily what you said.
And just how much are we paying you for this study, Eaker?
MY theory is that where women have a need to self-silence it is because the man is abusive or controlling and there are many areas in her life where she does not feel safe. Silence seems safer than speaking and does not cause immediate backlash. It is the stress of the entire situation that causes a variety of physical problems.
In a perfect world, women would be able to leave an abusive or controlling spouse, but in reality there are many reasons that women feel stuck in these situations. Many times this type of partner undermines a woman’s confidence so that even if she is able to leave, she is not confident enough to do so.
Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, I'll be free at last!!!!
Best news I've heard all week.
I blush at the very question!
Another way to explain this:
When you ask a silent man what he is thinking and he says "nothing", he really means it. When you ask a woman, she says "nothing", but it would take pages to write it out.
And this is apparently not factored into this study which leads me to question it’s validity.
When you get no response after saying “PLEASE, just tell me
what you want; I’m not a psychic mind-reader”...
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
You know what I want, don’t sit there and pretend you don’t!
My hubby replies, “you always dwell on the past.” when I bring up something from yesterday....
OT
Is my spot still open there in TX if Hillary becomes president?
Or looking to reload! LOL!
And if she had known about this study, she could have lived to 105.
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