[FearlessFreep]

When the Boogey Man goes to sleep, he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.

[txroadkill]

• When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
   
• There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
   
• Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
   
• Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
   

• Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
   

• Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
   
• Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
   
• There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
   
• When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
   
• Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
   
• Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
   
• Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
   
• Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
   
• Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
   
• Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
   
• Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
   
• Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.