Skip to comments.TO WOMEN: How to Build A lasting Relationship
Posted on 01/20/2008 9:42:43 PM PST by Bear_Slayer
Now obviously I can't speak for every male, but I feel qualified to speak in general terms.
This is aimed at the married woman, but is applicable to the woman that is involved in a long term relationship.
Learn these things and you might get your relationship to last. Ignore them at your peril.
1. He is not your zit. Stop picking at him.
Women love to pick at zits. They'll sneak up on you while you're shaving and start squeezing. It's an annoying habit they can't break. They also do this emotionally and intellectually. This is done when they ask us silly questions like:
"Do you love me because you need me, our need me because you love me?"
The fact is we love you and need you. Beyond that, we have no idea. Some invisible rock hit us in the head one day and we realized we can't live without you, until you drive us insane, then we can't live with you.
Similar questions are along the lines of, "Do these pants make my butt look big?"
The fact is, you have a big butt and your butt makes those pants look big. Another fact: we don't care. When the invisiable rock hit us, it didn't clue us in that you had a big butt; it simply made us aware of the fact, "Girl nice. Me like girl, lot."
I knew a woman once that had a big butt. She wasn't even the most beautiful woman I had ever seen, but the invisible rock was huge and I would have crawled through broken glass to be with her if she were single.
You have a big butt. Get over it. If you are constantly aware of your own big butt, you will make us constantly aware of it and you don't want that.
2. It's ok for him to compare you to his mother, as in, "That's not how my mother does it."
The fact is our mother is the only significant woman that ever loved us, until you came along. She fed, bathed, dress, nurtured, encouraged and loved us -- and we like how our mom made our potatos, cookies, &etc. Don't change the recipe. We like it that way. There is nothing Freudian about it.
3. Don't expect a deep relationship and don't try to draw us into meaningful conversations.
We're not comfortable exploring our inner feelings. Most guys don't trust their feelings and the smarter ones recognize that its their feelings that got them into the relationship in the first place.
Do you want a meaningful relationship? Go sip lattes with your friends and explore each other's cavernous feelings. It's a level you can all relate to and prop one another up.
4. Don't trust everything your girlfriend tells you.
Just because they read it in Redbook or Ms. does not make it so. Those magazines are written by women, for women, that grew up on Danielle Steele.
And don't ask us. We don't know and we're not that complicated anyways. If you simply watch us, without over-analyzing you'll figure us out. At a basic level we eat, we sleep, we copulate, and we play sports. Not necessarily in that order and not necessarily at different times.
5. You don't always have to be talking.
Men can communicate through subtle mechanisms. It's how we know when a woman likes us, or when the guy across the bar is looking for a fight, etc.
6. Don't make us carry you through life.
We're trying to get through it also. We'll be happy to stand in front and take some of the blows, but listen, carry your own baggage. We got our own to deal with.
When the big rock hit us, it really didn't matter what you looked like on the outside. Love is blind. We fell in love with the way your eyes twinkle when you smile. When you giggle when we say something silly or funny. And yes, even the way your breasts look in that tight sweater. However, none of that will matter ever again if you screw it up by driving us insane.
I’d like to add:
Wow..SOMEBODY had a bad night, didn’t they?
Bad night? You mean “bad relationship”
How much did you drink during the football games?
So I'm a little cranky
Funny, but with grains of truth sprinkled in. Very funny. :-)
I'll put together my list for men and post it tomorrow.
Belching, scratching, and farting.
Ping for later perusal
‘Subtle’ is in the eye of the beholder. lol
I don't like it when they ask what I'm thinking.
You may be splitting hairs in this case.
Ok now I'm going to bed.
Oops, forgot the LOL
Exactly. The fact is, I may not be aware of what I am thinking at that moment, and in fact, I may be thinking, “I could strangle her, but where would I hide the body.”
You are attacking symptoms. It’s the man’s job to transcend the ego and lead. When he does, all of these tiny annoyances will simply melt away.
Hope your wife doesn’t know your real name Bear. And by the way, I like BIG butts.
I’m going to make your post into a T-shirt iron-on.
You could have made this very simple. Women should know:
“Marry a man, who if he was the same sex as yourself, would be your best friend.”
The sad part is if you are a sports freak (male) who only lives to watch ESPN or other some such, you are no ones friend. Same goes for women who only live to shop.
As a matter of fact, no. The missus is on one half the bed, her damned dog is on the other half.
What are you smoking?
Well that takes care of the bed.
The dog and wife are not alone...
My Gawd! You dug up a dinosaur!!
You lost me at picking zits.
Oh, this ought to be a fun thread.
Oh, and please learn to leave the toilet seat up.
I will be printing that out and pasting to the refrigerator.
When you figure that out, you'll know the exact reason all of these "female behaviors" were able to annoy you enough to compose the post in the first place. Just remember that "the world is your mirror". If you are pointing fingers at women for doing these things, it's because they are reflecting back some aspect of yourself that you don't like.
Did you wife make you say that?
How did I make it through 32 years of marriage without this list?
I can’t leave this one alone, as it touched my life and left scars.
My mother believed this kind of thing. She tried to be perfect. So much so, she had two nervous breakdowns and 30 years of alcoholism. What she did to my sister and me was horrifying. My father was oblivious.
You see, what’s printed in that article only works when man and wife are both perfect people. Somethings are too painful to acknowledge.
Any one here perfect? I know I’m not, and I’ve never met a man who was either.
for your husband. :-)
A nagging woman is like being pecked to death by a duck.
Can’t sleep, plus — the dog is in the way. :-)
ROTFLOL! From one Montanan to another, what do you do about the husband who nags and treats you like a little kid? ; )
Listen... we own half the money and ALL the *****
;) ;) ;)
I’m going out with a woman who takes pride in laying mantraps and is unlike any other woman I’ve ever dated. She insists I sit in the big leather recliner at her place, gives me the remote, watches whatever I surf to, cooks incredible meals, does the dishes and rebukes me if I attempt to help, occasionally picks up the tab for a night out, Pauses the DVD if I doze off watching a movie, leaves me alone when I’m working on my truck but comes out and brings me coffee at the right time. Flowers get me an immediate and ‘responsive’ thank-you. She Doesn’t whine, complain or b_tch about anything and she’s never had a headache.
She’s quite unlike any I’ve ever met before.
Hildy, please be sure to ping me to your post ;)
Proof of that is this line:
"Be a little gay and a little more interested in him."
Or maybe that would be in a newer version...
Notice what is circled in the bottom right? LOL
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