Posted on 11/13/2008 9:44:50 AM PST by Sopater
Oh The Horrors! Most kids not think they’re going to be successful. STOP TEACHING OUR KID’S THEY’RE GOING TO SUCCEED!
My 4 & 6 y/o boys are in a Montessori school, and they practice a lot of that ego stroking. I had my doubts, but so far it’s motivated them to love learning and school, something I never felt until I knew the alternative. They also practice it themselves, building each other up with praise and encouragement.
You know the organization that I’ve come across that most practiced this “excessive self-esteem crap”? The United States Marine Corps. Their periodic evals were the most absurd exaggerations I’ve ever seen. They always included glowing praise of ingenuity, dedication, leadership etc…, with a score of 4.6 out of 5 being just about the lowest for just staying out of trouble. And it works. It fills people with the confidence they need to take on challenges they’d never otherwise touch, to endure hardship knowing that they’ll prevail and to not crumble under pressures that would leave most to quit or run. But I agree that there is a downside.
It does leave people feeling like supermen, and that will take a hit after they transition to the real world. But I think that’s a small price to pay for learning to work at full potential, something most people never discover, much less practice for any length of time.
So excuse me if I think this whole whinny article and responses are more a product of group-think, ignorance and a reflexive narrow-minded rejection of anything coming from institutions dominated by liberals. Yes, inflated self esteem is a double edged sward. Just like everything else, there are unintended consequences. But IMO, they’re not as destructive as the alternative, a lack of confidence to challenge one’s comfort zone and endure obstacles to achieve goals.
ROFLMAO!
And being able of doing even less.
What these kids don’t realize is that self-esteem is earned, not given.
They feel good but have no talent, no work ethic, and are dumber than a box of rocks.
Shrinks have destroyed the world!
Never even heard the words self esteme until I was an adult.
Before them, you either got your sh*t together and made something of yourself or you could go live under a bush and no one would care.
I’m glad they were just coming into existance when I was graduating from college!
“What these kids don’t realize is that self-esteem is earned, not given.”
I agree, in part. But, a certain amount of self esteem is inherent because one is created in the image of G-d, Who produces no junk.
But, this requires one to separate one’s identity from one’s roles. One can totally screw up one’s roles, and still be in the image of his Creator.
It’s the old chicken and egg argument: Does self-esteem lead to success, or does success lead to self-esteem, and I think there is some truth to both.
Without some self-esteem, success is not possible. If you don’t like yourself, what would you do for someone you don’t like? Self esteem enables one to face failure and adversity without being crushed by it.
Esteem by others must earned, except for your parents. Your own self esteem should not be a function of the esteem in which others hold you, nor should it be a function of your success or failure in your roles.
“We’re doomed.”
Not if we can have a full blown depression quick enough!
“Nobody in this country has the courage to say “no” to the demands of anyone else.”
Don’t include me in that statement!
I think a slice of humble pie once in a while never hurt anybody.
I had a serious business setback this week. My immediate and visceral reaction was to fight back by works harder and smarter--and that's all the emotion I experienced: no anger, no disappointment, no frustration.
These little arrogant spoiled brats will be traumatized into impotent mush once they've been out in the real world a while.
Too bad they can’t make change..............
“That’s not what leads to the problems with too much self-esteem. Of course you’re supposed to compliment kids for the things they do right. On the other hand, when they do something bad, you’re supposed to discourage such behavior.”
As an Early Childhood Professional, we were told in college that we HAD to ignore negative behaviors. I was even told that a time out was punishment, and was not permitted to give a child a time out.
Puh-leeze.
Sounds like some of my obnoxious nephews who are still living in the basement, just as predicted, 15 years ago.
There's nothing about competition in this article. I think that you're reading things into it that don't exist, just like many others here, and associating other failure of modern liberal education with this one aspect of it that actually does have positive results.
In addition to the USMC example, I think that it's about how my 6 year old comes home from kindergarten all proud of his "stories" that consist of two or three sentences - often unreadable, but I go right along with his teachers and classmates to tell him how cool I think they are and how smart he is for his age. So he LOVES school and learning because of it. That's worth more than any spelling or grammar improvements he could achieve by me drilling the corrections into him.
And no, I don't agree that over confidence is just as destructive as under. "Proper confidence" is an ideal, but virtually impossible to identify. Sure, if you're absolutely certain that someone has no chance of succeeding at something they want, find a way to make them understand. But those opportunities are rare except in the extreme. Proper confidence is a lifetime journey of self discovery.
People have their whole lives to be cut down to size as they attempt things they can't achieve. It's brutal, humbling and sometimes tragic. But it pales in comparison to the pathetic creatures who never discovered what they were capable of because they didn't begin with confidence and feared fully living their lives, only to carry the question to their graves of what they could have been and done with their abandoned opportunities.
So no, I don't think that 56% of kids believing they'll be good spouses, 54% expecting to be good parents and 2/3rds thinking they'll be exemplary workers is a bad thing. If there's any real concern there, it should be about the others who don't think they'll succeed.
I personally know two high school graduates, of normal intelligence, who cannot tell time with an analog clock. They can only read digital clocks.
No, I'm not kidding.
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