Posted on 12/23/2008 12:09:15 AM PST by goldstategop
An interesting discussion here...
I doubt that there is one marriage on earth where the two individuals have libidos that are the same, or are in sync. This is just a fact of life.
Each couple has to work this out between them, with understanding and acceptance that marriage itself is a lifelong opportunity to learn how to better show love and affection to each other.
Love is action, not feeling.
“Women just aren’t ready at the drop of a hat, and it is the smart man who recognizes that.”
But men _can_ be ready - and it is the smart wife who realizes THAT.
Male sexuality is like a boiler. The fire is always underneath, the steam pressure continually building up inside. Every now and then, that pressure has to be released, “through the safety valve”. Then the process repeats once more, automatically, inevitably. For some men - we males would call them _fortunate_ - the “pressure” is restored more quickly than for others... :)
Men cannot control the reality that their “boiler within” is working. Indeed, it is a measure and indication of their own physical health that the boiler IS working properly. That said, males can “restrain” the pressure from blowing out indiscriminately, but to do that constantly does not bode well for their overall health. In fact, it will literally drive some males crazy.
A wise woman perceives that the “male nature” is indeed quite different from hers, and she acts accordingly.
Few men would expect their wives to satisfy their husbands’ needs when the ladies were physically ill or otherwise in obvious distress.
But a woman who too casually turns her husband away because she’s just “not in the mood” may discover something that the wise women instinctively understand: that males with too much “steam pressure” inside and no opportunities to release it at home, may go out looking for other females who _are_ willing to offer them that satisfaction.
Age old saying, and it bears repeating:
“If she was taking care of him at home, he wouldn’t need to go looking for it somewhere else.”
That says as much as Mr. Prager’s entire article.
- John
My husband married me “till death do us part.” He keeps his promises.
When we married, we eloped. I was terrified, my parents had said, “if you go out that door, don’t come back!” (I didn’t know that their threat would only last 2 weeks.)
The Justice of the Peace who married us never said either of our names right, but he ended with, “I pronounce you husband and wife in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Ghost.” I remember thinking, “Let’s see you get out of that one, Boy!” (I didn’t tell him about that thought for nearly thirty years.)
Indeed. I am in agreement as well, so my thoughts immediately went to how this may affect the younger generations.
So many of our daughter’s roommates, classmates, and friends give themselves to ANYONE : / It is very much expected, and accepted, (Duh!) by most of our son’s peers as well.
What is this going to say to the male they finally marry? How can he “know” that her giving him her body, means she loves him, if he knows that she gave it everyone? How will the male suddenly give up his habit of the “flavor of the week”?
It is certainly looking like a rough road ahead, for a lot of young people who may be not quite thinking things all the way through : |
Mama always said that it was a compliment to the first marriage when a widow or widower remarried. Of course, I’m fairly certain that she thought she would outlive him.
She died a couple of years ago, after Daddy cared for her 24/7 for nearly 2 years - even after her disease made her a mean old woman. He married again within 7 months. I’m going to take it as a compliment to Mama. (Well, most days I try. I did think I’d get over it sooner than he did.)
Dr. Laura’s “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands” illustrates these concepts. Of course she was roundly trashed for her backwards thinking.
I find that appreciating each other, doing things for each other and alot of flirting keeps things nice and spicy.
Of course periodic deployments don’t hurt!
Merry Christmas! GG
My dad was happily married for 14 years until she died. She said he should not remarry, because no one would ever make him as happy as she did. After she died, he remarried after six months, because as he told me years later, he was looking for her. I was born from his third of four marriages. She was right, none lasted. But, he did often say my personality was a lot like his first wife’s. People have seen her picture and thought she was my mom, rather than my real mom.
I saw Dr. Laura’s book as an updated version of “Fascinating Womanhood”.
Libidos, thermostats, affinity for dancing, appreciation for the other’s parents.
It’s a miracle any of us stay married.
Well to be fair, it’s taken some time for this friend to come to realize his situation. When he moved into the neighborhood of course I had no idea. Then I started to see this pattern where he would call to get together, but it was always when she was out of town.
Then he slowly started to confess about her controls and it was apparent he wasn’t kidding because as we were having a lunch on a Saturday when she was away, she called and started drilling him. It was frustrating just being a bystander to it.
Most recently, he told me his family is not happy. His brother won’t talk to him and his sister has warned him that his wife is not so swell.
Told him his family does care about his and to stick with their support.
Chatting with someone is really no cause for alarm. Your friend must be on such a tight rope, he thinks everyone else must suffocate as well.
Yep, it has been 42 years here. And, my husband’s libido was lower than mine, but we worked it out.
He now has Parkinson’s, and I am his primary caregiver. It is possible to live without sex, and still be content. All the memories of the happy times, and the overcoming of difficult times help us now.
He couldn’t dance either. And, my parents were a nightmare! His were wonderful. Now I am too hot, while he is too cold.
He has a great sense of humor, which Parkinson’s is trying to steal from him.
That’s an awesome story made more so by the happy ending of 30 years later!
That you valued you valued your marriage so highly as it was sanctioned by God even more so.
Bullshit.... I just get pissed off and leave cupboard doors open and let her take out the trash... Childish things of this nature!
Mood...
Why is it, when they are in the worst of moods, they fight the sexual advances off for a while and then give in. 50 to 30 seconds before they orgasm, YOU feel like you’re being used!!
Then, bam... no more mood... But now you have to wait till they stop talking!! lol...
I once wrote a story in which was stated that some people are so comfortable in their prisons they do not notice the bars.
Maybe the better man won?,/p>
Well I’m sure you can tell us all about it after the next episode of Desperate Househo’s.
LOL
Everyone thought his wife was anti-social but I guess she proved everyone wrong.
The talking is just the price you pay for it. At least with a BJ there is that “moment of silence.”
Sounds like it’s time to trade in for a new model.
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