GET OFF THE STREETS, YOU MORONS!
There should be one "Run Over A Bicyclist Day" per year.
(and I don't mean kids so lighten up, i mean yogurt eating %$%*ing yuppies)
Posted on 12/28/2008 5:38:02 AM PST by rhema
The commuting bicyclists are still out there, evidently sharing the work ethic of rural mail carriers, cowboys and Alaskan fishermen in small boats. Nothing stops them. Their numbers have dwindled, but those who remain dutifully bend into the wind and then, ridiculously, try to keep the machine upright in the worst of all possible conditions.
Sludge is what we are featuring now, that greasy stew of sand, salt, ice and water, all of it brown and flecking the leggings of determined bikers.
GET OFF THE STREETS, YOU MORONS!
OK, that might be a bit harsh, especially coming from me, as I have made my peace with the two-wheelers. But how about this? If bicyclists get to use the streets in the winter, then how about other forms of transportation also get to use the streets in the winter?
Now, in the summer, a bicyclist can reasonably share the street and we motorists should just as reasonably share the streets with the cyclist, yes, even if they are wearing tight shorts and Italian racing jerseys. It is always important to remember that at home, they too have a Chevy Suburban and a worn-out video of "Breaking Away.''
But in the winter, a cyclist is a menace to himself and to the motorist. Patrick Reusse, the plain-speaking sports columnist with the Enemy Paper, reported to me by telephone the following as he was heading to a Wild game the other night:
"Hey, what's with these bikers on Summit?''
"They are still out there,'' I replied.
"Well, if they fall down in front of me, I will run over them in their snowmobile suits and squash them like a bug.''
"That's dramatic.''
"Oh, I'll call 911 and tell them where the body is, but I ain't stoppin'."
I share his frustration. I imagine we all do. It must be a combination of extreme poverty, misplaced virtue, environmental theology, stubbornness and a contrarian nature that compels the winter bicyclist to navigate the rutted shoulder, or worse, just take up a lane and slow down the cars. I will not accept exercise as an excuse. What I witness is not exercise, but an improbable balancing act that mimics the first wobbly ride as a child.
As I was saying, if they get to be out there, then, say, snowmobiles should be allowed. Personally, I think it would be great to be able to use a snowmobile in the city, as they were, clandestinely, during the Halloween blizzard of 1991. It would be good for the economy, too, because some of the dealers — maybe they are getting relief this winter — still have sleds in the crates from five years ago. And snowmobiles are lit to automotive standards, while your typical biker has a little miner's lamp attached to his helmet, spilling at best a rheumy drool of light. For a taillight, the biker uses what appears to be a blinking red clown nose.
Or, how about DN iceboats? "DN" stands for Detroit News. They are small iceboats, 12 feet long with an 8-foot beam, with one sail. It is hard to remember, but newspapers must have been so important back in the day that boats were actually named for them, in this case as a result of a design contest the Detroit News sponsored in 1936. These babies are fast and maneuverable, and think of the money we could save by not plowing or salting the streets.
At the very least, the cyclists themselves could get inventive by removing the wheels and attaching blades or skis. And then, copying a DaVinci architectural doodling, they could rig a mast and some sails and ropes and pulleys and go surfing down Summit well ahead of Reusse and the rest of us who have accepted the reality of winter and continue to favor automobiles and trucks with working heaters.
Strong proof that the natural selection part of Darwin’s theory has merit. His Theory may not explain the origins of man, but it sure clears up that thinning of the heard part when it comes to making a healthy species...
Good thinking. Felony hit & run.
My joints ache just reading this article.
GET OFF THE STREETS, YOU MORONS!
There should be one "Run Over A Bicyclist Day" per year.
(and I don't mean kids so lighten up, i mean yogurt eating %$%*ing yuppies)
No. Good hyperbolic expression of exasperation.
I just can’t figure out why so many Americans are fat. Let me re-read the article to remember.
I used to bike commute when I could. I took the time to learn the rules of the road (e.g., the law). Where I lived, 2/3 of the cyclists obeyed it and 25% of the cars did.
Typically, pedestrians have the right of way, then cyclists, then cars. That’s oversimplified, but a decent rule of thumb.
I moved to Texas and only ride on occasion. The immigrants here follow no rules, either in their cars, on their bikes or while walking.
To anyone wishing to follow the advice of the author, a decent number of cyclists have conceal carry permits. I wouldn’t threaten one if I were you, no matter how cute you think it is.
It would be a pretty neat trick to carry under blue spandex.
Bullies in cars or bullies on bicycles are the same.
But I’m really happy in Texas where someone threatening me can be told to stop and know that I mean it.
I was almost mowed down by some fool in a Mercedes when he drove onto the bike path. It was more important that he tell me he needed to get to the airport.
I’m still reminded of the illegal who killed that bicyclist at White Rock Lake. The only reason they caught the guy was she was famous. Not famous enough for me to know her name.
There should be a "Pull the ignorant little hick yelling 'get on the sidewalk' from the protection of his Ford pickup, and beat the little coward senseless with your bare hands" day per week.
I agree, but they’re usually Chevy pick ups. I’ve seen aholes not giving right of way to a blind person. Cowards
You'll be looking for a gun after the 2nd bicyclist cuts in front of you on the street.
Not all of us bother with spandex.
I get a little lazy carrying all the time and sometimes it’s just a little PPK.
On my bike, it’s always the carry pistol on my profile page with extra ammo. Your rule should be not to threaten me. Not with a weapon or your car. If we all follow the rules of the road, we all get where we’re going safe and sound.
Common sense sould indicate "the big boat rule" is in effect, even though these incidents are on land.
Most of the cyclists I've encountered are self-rightous enviromental nutcases who are gonna do their part to save mamma earth, whether others want to slow down to assist them or not. As for the guns, I think anyone willing to wear one those gay helmets is WAY too concerned about safety to ever consider carrying something as “dangerous” as a gun. Keep the toys and spandex on the trails meant for such play. I've got a bumper AND a .357, and I don't have to dig through a gay looking fannypack to get to it.
When I was a kid, I loved riding my bike in the winter on ice or in snow. First you had to pry the tires loose, since they were frozen to the ground. The seat was usually covered with snow or ice and it took my butt a while to melt it. Pedalling took a bit of practice, since every time you push down on the pedal, the back tire kicked out to the side.
I wanted to take the tires off and drive short nails from the inside so I could have studded tires, but I never got around to it.
On land, it’s the “little vehicle” rule where common sense dictates the person most vulnerable has more protection from the law.
It would also help if the roads had more bike lanes to accomodate those cyclists. A person on a bike has to dodge cars, pedestrians, missing sewer covers, trash in the gutter and potholes.
Good article. Around here the bicyclists come for vacation and drive right up the middle of the dirt roads, forcing drivers of cars to slow down to like 5 miles an hour all the way up a steep hill or “run them over and squash them like a bug.”
It IS frustrating that so many of them feel they own the entirety of a barely two lane road. They’ve got no consideration for other people at ALL. I confess there’ve been plenty of times when I was tempted to get beside them and “accidentally” clip them with the side mirror.
This has never happened, of course. Still, I understand the author’s frustration.
When the car is in the shop, I’m on the bike and I won’t be threatened by a yokel with a bumper or a gun.
Whether you like it or not, the road is shared by cars, trucks, bikes and pedestrians. Give yourself plenty of time to get where you’re going and we’ll all get their safe and sound.
I am just one of those jerks who pays attention to non-motorists. And yes, there are people who aren’t paying attention to car traffic, but it is better to slow down and let them live, even if they are airleads. The city I live in has the worlds worst drivers, who won’t even stop for kids. Kind of like the Walmart shoppers who trampled the worker to death to not miss a sale. I get tired of it.
I ride a bicycle myself, and I realize that that "big boat rule" is always in effect. (for me anyway)
Sure I may be right, but I also may be maimed, or even killed while being "right".
It's tiresome, as you say, but that's the reality.
Safe riding.
Other than name recognition, I don't know what attracts them to Concord. Other than the National Parks (where they'd be arrested) it doesn't offer any special attraction. Other than the only hospital with an emergency room in the area. John Kerry was even photographed cycling there during the 2004 campaign. Go figger.
How about someone who refuses to move to the back of an elevator?
It's called common courtesy.
And let's face it, the primary reason you take a car is so that you don't have to allow for as much travel time as the bike and pedestrian option.
Of course if my car is in the shop I would take a cab or give myself plenty of time to walk or ride my bike while allowing time to move out of the way of people traveling faster.
I am suprised Soucheray doesn’t do a show devoted to Patrick Reusse. I haven’t heard a personality on the radio so enfatuated with another man.
Motorized traffic is impeded and inconvenienced by non-motorized traffic.That is why farm tractors,bikes,horse-drawn buggies,and pedestrian traffic is forbidden the use of interstate highways.Also mopeds are forbidden the use of many roads because they can't keep up and are nothing but a hazard.
It is asinine to pretend that it makes sense to mix slow-moving and fast moving vehicles.
Where there are no bike paths the bike forces thousands of cars to slow down just for the convenience of one person.I have found myself one of the early morning commuters on a major artery dodging and slowing for a cyclist;I have had my journey delayed on weekends because the winding two lane I must use for part of my drive to anywhere had cyclists three abreast forcing me to their 15 mph rather than the posted 35.One of these days some of my neighbors who routinely do 50 are going to come around a curve a wipe out a whole bunch of them.
If you can't travel at the posted speed limit and follow the rules of movemen you ought to at least avoid peak travel times.
Well, I have not made my peace with the bicycle riding morons who think they are saving the planet by not driving a car!
If they are dumb enough to ride in the sleet, snow and mud, they better bring a change of clothes, because I love to splash them with my truck.
Common courtesy also is a part of sharing the road and there are those times when some people are unable to physically move out of your way because of potholes and debris.
Back to your questions. A person on an escalator might have packages where they can’t get out of your way. Did you not notice you’re still moving along with the escalator and you’re still getting to your destination?
On an crowded elevator, all people have to share space with the next person. You might even consider getting onto another that’s not so crowded.
“”there sould be a ‘pull the ignorant little hick yelling ‘get on the sidewalk’ from the protection of his ford pickup, and beat the little coward senseless with your bare hands’ day per week.”
a quote from a liberal who is genetically superior and who towers over the red neck sheep and cattle in intellectual brilliance and achievement.
IMHO
n then there’s
THEM JOGGERS..
Well I’ve been a trucker more than twenty years
From the Charleston coast to the Jersey piers
Sharin’ the road with race car nuts and loggers
Sunday drivers scouts on hikes Hells Angels on Harley bikes
I never met a roader I didn’t like cept them joggers...
Bobby Bare Jogger Lyrics:
http://www.mp3lyrics.org/b/bobby-bare/jogger/
In this state, cyclists can occupy a lane. Oh, and they can also carry.
To anyone wishing to follow the advice of the author, a decent number of cyclists have conceal carry permits. I wouldn’t threaten one if I were you, no matter how cute you think it is.
I had occasion to implement that in 1996. I was sideswiped by a car while on a training ride. The driver then spun his car in a 180, and started revving his engine. The driver then thought otherwise when he saw me in a shooting stance. Good for him, since I fully intended to empty the clip if he accelerated toward me. Of course this was Texas (Fort Bend County), where citizens are allowed to defend themselves against deadly force. Texas DPS trooper arrested the driver.
The author is probably correct, if the conditions are as bad as described it is probably best to use a different mode of transportation.
Personally, I think we should be glad to see the bikers out there, they ARE reducing gas use, bringing down the price of petrol for the rest of us.
If I could ride one to work I would, but the farm is about 25 miles from Vancouver.
“Now, in the summer, a bicyclist can reasonably share the street and we motorists should just as reasonably share the streets with the cyclist, yes, even if they are wearing tight shorts and Italian racing jerseys. It is always important to remember that at home, they too have a Chevy Suburban and a worn-out video of “Breaking Away.’’”
Silent salute to all the Walter Mitty types out there...
I have ridden on some roads with a wide shoulder (and I am riding on the shoulder) when sometimes some punk kid tries to run me off the road yelling “bicycles belong on the sidewalk” in the sneering what I call “Minnesota mommy tone”. I caught up to the punk and advised him that if he pulled that in Texas he could get lead poisoning.
What’s the speed limit on an escalator?
sounds like you’ve had to do with lawless, minnesota punks.
you should try lawless, new york punks who think they’re brilliant and superior, who ride around in expensive cars and who strut their intellectual stuff because their mommy told them they were brilliant and the offspring of royalty.
scu&^bags one and all. (if the art of dueling were not illegal and they had a sense of honor, their ranks would be thinned.)
IMHO
There should be one “Run Over A Bicyclist Day” per year.
pink bicycle- 10 points
red bicycle - 5 points
yellow bicycle - 2 points
green bicycle-50 points
bookmark...
As a displaced Twin Citian allow me to say - AAAAMEN! But I still want to retire to Garage Logic.
You are an ignorant stupid moron.
You’re a responsible and reasonable person.
Let me pose a question. If you had a two-way, asphalt bike path that paralleled a narrow two lane road, which would you choose? I bet I know your answer.
I lived in the TC and a lot of cyclists choose to use the regular road and hold up traffic, despite the well-maintained, snow-cleared bike path. I know you don’t know the answer, but why would someone choose the road? It baffles me.
Because they can. Bike riding is not allowed on the sidewalk on the U campus unless it's posted. Doesn't seem to stop any number of two wheeled idiots who think they have the right of way over pedestrians. I'd love to have the cops start writing tickets, just to hear the self-righteous whining and lamentations of oppression.
“I lived in the TC and a lot of cyclists choose to use the regular road and hold up traffic, despite the well-maintained, snow-cleared bike path. I know you don’t know the answer, but why would someone choose the road? It baffles me.”
That’s pretty weird. The only thing I can imagine is that the bike path doesn’t go where they need to go. If it does, they should be banned from the streets and required to use the paths that are safe. After all, taxpayers bought them the dumb thing.
I’m afraid I’m stumped as to why anyone would choose a less-safe alternative.
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