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Leno Bashes Letterman: I've Never Had Sex With a Staff Member
Newsbusters ^

Posted on 10/03/2009 10:30:19 AM PDT by Sub-Driver

Leno Bashes Letterman: I've Never Had Sex With a Staff Member By Noel Sheppard Created 2009-10-03 12:24

Jay Leno went after his former late night rival on Friday using some of his opening monologue to poke fun at David Letterman's recently disclosed sexual escapades with staffers.

As Friday's program began, Leno quipped, "If you came here tonight for sex with a talk-show host, you’ve got the wrong studio."

But that was only the beginning (video embedded below the fold with transcript, h/t Mediaite [1]):

If you came here tonight for sex with a talk-show host, you've got the wrong studio. Alright? So. Boy, what is going on? Boy, first, Conan hit his head, then somebody tries to extort money from Letterman. I'm so glad I'm out of late night. Oh. You know, I want to say I myself was once the victim of an extortion plot. How do you think NBC got me to do a 10:00 show? That's why I'm here. I am happy to say I have never had a sexual relationship with any of my staff members.

Nice.


TOPICS: Political Humor/Cartoons
KEYWORDS: leno; letterman
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snicker..........
1 posted on 10/03/2009 10:30:19 AM PDT by Sub-Driver
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To: Sub-Driver
I am happy to say I have never had a sexual relationship with any of my staff members.

So is his wife. LOL!

2 posted on 10/03/2009 10:31:28 AM PDT by Tamar1973 (http://koreanforniancooking.blogspot.com/)
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To: Sub-Driver

I’ve never had sex with that woman, Lewinsky.


3 posted on 10/03/2009 10:33:02 AM PDT by caver (Obama's first goals: allow more killing of innocents and allow the killers of innocents to go free.)
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To: Sub-Driver

Leno could solve that problem by hiring his wife to his staff... ;)


4 posted on 10/03/2009 10:34:15 AM PDT by OneWingedShark (Q: Why am I here? A: To do Justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with my God.)
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To: Sub-Driver

Not to pick nits - but Leno is married, right? So he’s never had sex with a staffer - that does not mean he’s never had any extramarital activity, just not with people who work for/with him... not much of an admission Jay :)


5 posted on 10/03/2009 10:36:55 AM PDT by Keith in Iowa (Obama-care won't pull Grandma's plug - because Grandma won't be plugged in under Obama-care.)
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To: Sub-Driver

I’m confused, I always have sex with my staff member.....


6 posted on 10/03/2009 10:39:07 AM PDT by nevergore ("It could be that the purpose of my life is simply to serve as a warning to others.")
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To: nevergore
I’m confused, I always have sex with my staff member.....

Alone? ;-)

7 posted on 10/03/2009 10:41:42 AM PDT by meyer (Do not go gentle into that good night - Rage, rage against the dying of the light.)
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To: OneWingedShark
Leno could solve that problem by hiring his wife to his staff... ;)

Brilliant, and work it into a routine: first the on air confession, then bring out the "staffer" for a face to face apology.

8 posted on 10/03/2009 10:41:54 AM PDT by Navy Patriot (Sarah and the Conservatives will rock your world.)
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To: Sub-Driver

Way to go Leno!


9 posted on 10/03/2009 10:43:22 AM PDT by SolidWood (Sarah Palin: "Only dead fish go with the flow!")
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To: Sub-Driver

I hope he is telling the truth!


10 posted on 10/03/2009 10:43:51 AM PDT by classified
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To: Sub-Driver

Wow. First Dave lost the “Tonight” gig to Jay, now he has to sit there and get lit up by him? That has got to hurt.


11 posted on 10/03/2009 10:44:05 AM PDT by RichInOC (No! BAD Rich! (What'd I say?))
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To: Sub-Driver

Does anyone know why the Lenos never had kids?


12 posted on 10/03/2009 10:45:08 AM PDT by Lizavetta (In Communism, everything is free. But there isn't any of it.)
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To: nevergore
I’m confused, I always have sex with my staff member.....

Just as long as you don't have staph on your sex member...

13 posted on 10/03/2009 10:45:51 AM PDT by paulycy (Screw the RACErs)
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To: meyer; nevergore
...Alone?...

At least he's doing it with someone he loves.

14 posted on 10/03/2009 10:46:02 AM PDT by FReepaholic (Jump You F**kers!)
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To: Keith in Iowa

Of the whole bunch who’ve come along since Carson, Jay’s all right. I don’t always like his politics but at least he can be funny without that smarmy, cynicism of a college kid who wants to be seen as clever and “worldly”. Letterman’s scum. Conan’s less than juvenile. I don’t watch any of them actually, but have enjoyed Leno from time to time.


15 posted on 10/03/2009 10:46:31 AM PDT by Emmett McCarthy
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To: Lizavetta

I don’t know, but his wife is a foaming at the mouth feminist.


16 posted on 10/03/2009 10:48:33 AM PDT by Moonman62 (The issue of whether cheap labor makes America great should have been settled by the Civil War.)
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To: Sub-Driver

I’ve always sensed that Leno had more character than Letterman....besides being funnier, without Letterman’s bitter edge.


17 posted on 10/03/2009 10:49:40 AM PDT by AnalogReigns
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To: Emmett McCarthy

That Craig Ferguson (sp) is hysterical. I like British humor, though. But he’s on too late for me.


18 posted on 10/03/2009 10:53:20 AM PDT by FrdmLvr ("The people will believe what the media tells them they believe." Orwell)
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To: Sub-Driver

Mr. Lippman: "It's come to my attention that you and the cleaning woman have engaged in sexual intercourse on the desk in your office. Is that correct?"
George: "Who said that?"
Mr. Lippman: "She did."
George: [pause] "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that? I tell you, I gotta plead ignorance on this thing, because if anyone had said anything to me at all when I first started here that that sort of thing was frowned upon... you know, 'cause I-I've worked in a lot of offices, and I tell you, people do that all the time."
19 posted on 10/03/2009 10:53:34 AM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.....)
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To: Lizavetta
"Does anyone know why the Lenos never had kids?"

He loves his cars too much.

20 posted on 10/03/2009 10:54:28 AM PDT by Spunky (You are free to make choices, but not free from the consequences)
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